#intern gothic

[bl0ggymcbl0gface]

Intern Gothic

You drink the most coffee of anyone in the office. The capitalist demon that lives inside you demands caffeine at all times.

The hold music for Fidelity's customer service line always puts you in a trance. It's a trick they use to pacify you while you wait an hour for an associate to help you.

Your job includes more filing than you ever thought possible. When you grab the last item in the filing pile, suddenly it has replenished itself and there is more filing to be done.

You are sent to update 401K beneficiary forms for the Bosnian workers. You don't speak Bosnian. But as soon as you talk to them words you don't know come out of your mouth. The form gets updated anyway.

You begin working on a spreadsheet that should take you two days at 4:59. You continue working for an hour. The clock still says 4:59. You check your watch. It also says 4:59. You finish the spreadsheet. It is still 4:59.

Your boss gives you 500 envelopes to stuff. Only 200 people work at the company. You are in a 2nd grader's word problem.

[alphajaeger]

Intern Gothic

The conference room is empty. The phone is lit green. No one is on the other line. The cube farm is silent as the grave. You hear the click of keyboards and the movement of a chair. The cube farm is empty. Your cube isn't actually yours. A loaner, they say. You can see its previous tenant's belongings displayed like they still use the space. They won't mind, you're told, and they let you put your belongings there, too. The space is colder than usual. It is Friday. The cube farm is empty. The cube farm is silent. You have a question. You need a form signed. The cube farm is empty. There are no answers today. There is music in the mornings, heralded by bugles and silence. It is muffled, so barely audible that you wonder if it is real when you hear it through the walls of your cube. Do not move if you hear it, do not move if you are outside. The music follows you, soft and unfaltering. Do not move if you hear it, do not move if you are outside. You have a lunch date. You stand to leave, and are immediately pulled away from your cube. There is a meeting. You have a breakfast date. There is a meeting. It is Monday. There is a meeting. It is Friday. There is a meeting. There is a meeting. There is always a meeting. You do not remember what the meeting was about. You took notes. They are gone. The phone is still green. There is breathing on the other line. Your division is located in the basement. You do not know how to get there, save through a back door that you cannot find unless you circle the building. Step down, the walls say. Step down. Low ceiling, says the wall when you find a way to the basement from the front door. Watch your step. There is a door that leads to an elevator that you don't think exists. There are no lights, and the arrow keys remain dim. Something green blinks. It doesn't stop. There are no lights. It is cold. Keep the doors shut, they tell you quietly. Keep them closed.