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My mind? [Exhales] I've lost my mind. I've lost everything. The man I love, my best friend. Oh and now apparently he's got a new best friend. What's that about? What else is he hiding? Who is the real him? Who am I? A direct descendant of Gloreth? I never asked for that. Now everyone expects me to arrest Ballister. And if I don't, I'm a traitor to you. If I do, I'm a traitor to him. Awww, and on top of that, I chopped off his arm! His arm! Who chops off an arm? Because I was trained to? Arm chopping is not a love language--

Ambrosius

#ambrosius goldenloin #internal rant #mental meltdown #my heart #nimona

Am I Ready For 3x12?

Me: YES!!!! Of course I'm ready! I have been waiting for what seems like forever but has actually only been one week which just shows you how much I want, no, NEED this episode, its is going to be the greatest thing ever and Magnus and Alec are going to be amazing and wonderful as always but with the heat turned up by 1000 which, lets face-it, we have been waiting for since 2016, 3 YEARS people, they deserve this, we deserve this and I am so happy but I still have to wait 24 hours which is possibly going to kill me...

Also Me: NO!!! How could I possibly be ready for this, how do you possibly prepare for this level of brilliant, and what if its not brilliant, what if I've hyped it up so much in my head that the episode will never be able to live up to my unrealistic expectations, oh god I've ruined it, and even if it is amazing they always follow close moments with angst and I'm not prepared for more Malec angst, leave my babies alone!!!

And Me Just One More Time: I might need to calm down

#internal rant #fangirl #shadowhunters #shadowhunters 3x12 #magnus bane #magnus x alec #alec lightwood #shadowhunters 3b #malec #my babies #training scene #and breathe

The idea that you need to connect with a main character(s) to enjoy a story baffles me. I completely understand and believe in the want/need of representation. If I'm watching a space opera and see a whole bunch of different aliens and species, along with humanity...and not see even one dark skinned character? 😒 Yeah...you know. But, being relatable or not shouldn't be a factor if something is good or bad (even though I see that it is for quite a lot of people).

#internal rant

I know that it’s still 6 in the morning but WHEN am I gonna tattoo my knuckles ??

#I have been patiently waiting !!#internal rant #I want ‘morí’ in gothic font on my knuckles cuz mortem won’t fit #I thought about getting sano briefly…#but I feel like my grandma would make fun of me for that 😂#she’s gonna be like ‘you’re so dam healthy you had to tattoo on your knuckles??’ 😂#like no grandma it can mean saint in some languages !#she’s like not in either of ours akshdkaka #anyways I need more tats as per usual #6 am thoughts #nonsense.rina

Why do I bother?

#Internal Rant

Fuck I hate that I've always ran away and moved away when things get difficult or confusing. Its been my go too option for years. I want too run away now but the same reason I want to run away is the reason I want and need to stay. I just seem to get too in my head and worry about the future to much lately I gotta refocus on the day by day again. If I focus to much on the future and what could happen it fucks me up. I try to keep my head down and just let what happens happen that way I get disappointed less. The reason i stay has me thinking hopeful and wishful and what could be thoughts. I forget to just take it a day at a time. Ok rant over.

#internal rant #life isnt easy #get out of your head

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Is too much to ask for a place where we can be alone and for you to just hold me in your arms? is it toO FUCKING MUCH ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I feel so stupid for not having a good timing I feel so sTUPID FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO TAKE MY PHONE OUT WHEN I NEEDED TO IT IS MUY FAULT you tried, I MISSED THE CHANCE you're struggling, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP YOU you say you're fine, I CAN'T HELP BUT WORRY I miss you so fucking much. I know it is not easy, but I can't stop thinking about your warmth . I understand, but I want to be selfish for once. I can't be selfish; it doesn't work. Are you real? Is this a dream? Or a nightmare? Shit just happened on my side. I'm afraid. Will I ever feel safe again, if its not in your arms ? I love you; I'm sorry; Thank you; I'll do my best; I don't want to trouble you; I want to be with you; it's not a sin,right ?; Kiss me; only if you want to; I'll listen, patiently; it's the only thing I can do; I'm hopeless; I'm really sorry; it's okay; can't wait to talk to you again; or see you; if you'd like; but if you're busy then don't worry Don't worry 1 drop Don't worry 2 drops Don't worry A waterfall I'll be fine This is my head, this is how it works.

#my mind functions differently #internal rant #not Amy

Just gonna put this here

#internal rant #wow #boyinaband

#internal rant

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