#internet therapy

[ferdifz]

[multishippinglife]

Starting a new job position with a whole new crew in a completely different part of town is hella stressful, so thanks people of Tumblr for helping ease my anxiety with your tumblry shenanigans. 😄💙

[even-angels-free-fall-blog]

The Truth about Apologies

Okay so I just wanted to make this post to address something I feel like no one understands. Apologies aren’t that difficult…

First off, women don’t always need to be “correct” in an argument. We may need an apology, I know I do, but I don’t give a shit what you apologize for. Apologize for what you feel bad about. If you’re sorry you yelled, tell me. If you’re sorry for the way you handled it, great. Apologize for what you feel regret for.

Now I get that pride can be an issue for many people. Fortunately, I don’t have that problem, and I can always apologize when I know I was in the wrong. But here’s the thing. Not everyone feels like they can do that. Which is fine. But it’s like this, most people don’t feel proud of themselves for screaming at someone else. Most people don’t feel accomplished when they called someone a bitch or an asshole, or pushed them or got violent in any way. Some people do, but that’s the mind of an abuser and I won’t get into that in this post. So it’s as easy as saying that you’re upset that things had to go down the way they did. That you said things you didn’t mean.

But don’t apologize for your point unless you were wrong and you know it. If you don’t believe in your heart that the other person was right, don’t tell them that just to assuage them. That’s only lying to them, and ultimately down the line, when the time comes to revisit the topic, they’ll only feel betrayed or angry that you said they were right and “changed” your mind again.

In short, apologies aren’t complicated. Say whatever you want, just say the things you feel bad about and go from there. It says a lot about you if you can say something as simple as “I shouldn’t have yelled, it wasn’t the right way to solve the situation.” I was raised from childhood to believe that apologies were as necessary a part of the argument as the opposite points are. I figured I’d share a little of that wisdom.

[theweightof]

I shot this on Friday night. Something happened, I saw something, it sent me into a tailspin. I’m very fragile right now. Zoe tells me that Mercury is in retrograde, that it rules technology. Things are going to break. That the moon is going to be full the next night. I always lose control around the full moon.

Anyways, I posted it and then deleted it in fear of sharing how I felt when I took it. I didn’t want you to know. But I don’t know how it makes you feel. I realize now that it’s really important how you feel about it. (Is that rude?) But I still feel like sharing it with the world, so here it is again. I’m going to leave it this time, or at least I think I will. I might freak out and delete it again, who knows.

I want you to see it, I don’t necessarily want anyone to respond to it. Or maybe I do. Or maybe I don’t really want you to see it but I want it to be somewhere that is still somewhat anonymous. Although most of who follow me anywhere know me. Whatever: sometimes I think that the writing I do alongside my photographs is more important than the photographs. There are so many images in the world these days. 

Thea recently told me that there are two of me she lives with. That really scared me. I asked her if it was serious: am I actually two people? She said “No, you just have a really light, fun, kind side and a really dark, brooding side.” I guess that makes sense. I guess a lot of people are like that. I don’t know if others switch so rapidly and with so little warning.

I started really feeling this about a year and half ago. I started drawing these figures: one light, one dark. Sometimes I was the dark, sometimes I was the light, but they were both always me. It’s just a circle with shoulders, kind reminds me of the silhouette you find as the default image in most social media platforms. Sometimes there is a wall between them, sometimes one is sleeping underground, sometimes one is surrounded by a crowd, sometimes it’s head is surrounded by stars. It’s just a way of dealing with it, actualizing something, so that I might be more aware of it and capable of dealing with it. Sometimes I wonder if it just solidified a line between these two parts of me. 

So it goes.

I think it’s really funny that I got so distracted from counting a bunch of cash to post this. It has gotten pushed around under my wrists from neat piles to a scattered mess. One of my biggest goals right now is teaching myself to focus. 

[hawlscastle]

People: Why are you on the internet so much?

Me: It's how I deal with stress

[nomodernromance-blog]

Dumb things I've Googled

Because romance turns me into an idiot: - is feeling physically nauseous when you like someone normal? - what to do if a guy you're dating is dating someone else? - is liking someone who's just like you narcissistic?