"'In the River-- beyond the River-- I truly believe we will see ourselves and each other as we really are. And I want them to see us. I am not saying this was our inevitable end... I am saying we have found the best and truest and kindest thing we can do in this moment.'"
- Palamedes Sextus, in Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
"The land that shall receive thee dying, in the same will I die: and there will I be buried. The Lord do so and so to me, and add more also, if aught but death part me and thee."
- Ruth 1:17
"The ultimate form of love is to see no difference between the self and the beloved. Patroclus' journey into battle wearing the armor of Achilles transforms him into his friend, in the eyes of the Trojans. He becomes Achilles also, tragically, in his violent death before the walls of Troy, killed by Trojans through the help of Apollo, just as Achilles soon will be. Once Patroclus is dead, Achilles tries to transform himself into his dead friend, by rolling in the dust and, like a dead man, abstaining from food, sleep, or sex. He anticipates joining Patroclus again, and becoming indistinguishable from him in death, when their bones are together in one jar."
i think aemon’s “kill the boy” thing is such an interesting aspect of perspective and narrative message. as its likely that grrm intended it to parallel (as an antithesis) william wordsworth’s poetry. i do not think that this is just a coincidencental intertextual reference, as whilst grrm’s work often references other literature (wuthering heights, lolita, lovecraftian horror for the iron islands, even robert frost's poetry, and more i can't remember from the top of my head). he also explores and interweaves romantic ideals/notions with the harsh reality of the world consistently, such as with knighthood, and other things that i believe the interplay between the line said by aemon and wordsworth's poem has to be intention. grrm has also said that he is a romantic, in the classical sense, so it wouldn't be too much to suggest he'd relate something to a famous romantic poet.
He said the trouble with being a romantic is that from a very early age you keep having your face smashed into the harshness of reality. That things aren't always fair, bad things happen to good people, etc. He said it's a realists world, so romantics are burned quite often. This theme of romantic idealism conflicting with harsh reality is something he finds very dramatic and compelling, and he weaves it into his work.
from the US SIGNING TOUR (SEATTLE, WA, 2005
now the line in question i think maester aemon’s is meant to parallel is "the child is the father of the man",
My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is father of the Man;
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.
from My Heart Leaps Up.
it has been interpreted by most as that childhood experiences and notions (as well as a connection with nature and wonderment for the world) shape the traits and persona of the child upon entering adulthood. that “childish” notions such as forgiveness or new perspectives and an opportunity to reconcile are what is able to create a fulfilling life and good leadership skills. if you'd like to see some better, more in depth analysis of the poem, click here. aemon's line, however drastically juxtaposes this idea.
"Allow me to give my lord one last piece of counsel," the old man had said, "the same counsel that I once gave my brother when we parted for the last time. He was three-and-thirty when the Great Council chose him to mount the Iron Throne. A man grown with sons of his own, yet in some ways still a boy. Egg had an innocence to him, a sweetness we all loved. Kill the boy within you, I told him the day I took ship for the Wall. It takes a man to rule. An Aegon, not an Egg. Kill the boy and let the man be born." The old man felt Jon's face. "You are half the age that Egg was, and your own burden is a crueler one, I fear. You will have little joy of your command, but I think you have the strength in you to do the things that must be done. Kill the boy, Jon Snow. Winter is almost upon us. Kill the boy and let the man be born."
Jon II, ADWD
“kill the boy and let the man be born.” however reinforces the alternate idea to wordsworth's. i personally believe it to be a truly flawed piece of advice. aemon's advice going to both jon and aegon v i believe are to draw narrative parallels, as jon's becoming lord commander is in a time of uncertainty with winter (and the others) almost upon them, not unsimilar to aegon v's taking the throne during a harsh winter.
aegon's role as "the boy", most certainly stems from his penchant for goodness, as learnt via his isolation from the hellscape that was his family, and spent among the smallfolk and ser duncan.
Most of Aegon's troubles resulted from his efforts to improve the lives of the smallfolk, whom he had interacted with while squiring for Duncan. Although the smallfolk loved Aegon for his reforms and granting of rights and protections, high lords felt their powers over peasantry was diminished and curtailed by these new reforms. Lacking the dragons controlled by early Targaryen kings, Aegon reluctantly compromised with the recalcitrant lords on several issues.
from the wiki page
aemon's noting on aegon's goodness, innocence and sweetness inspiring love, and the advice to be harsher is able to be linked to aegon v's downfall (aka: the tragedy of summerhall), despite aegon's good intentions -to improve the life of the smallfolk- he had to become "the man" or comropmise his reforms to better fit with the attitudes of the lords, who also fulfil the conceptualisation of "the man" as the cruel figure. by becoming "the man" the cruelty, or perhaps apathy for that, and others is a major issue explored in asoiaf, as well as one of the causations for jon's own death. "kill the boy" is inherently a warped and fucked up perspective of the transition from childhood to adulthood - that stripping away the goodness and connection that came with childhood was somehow a good thing... that the only way to exist as an adult is to be isolated from others, is to be closed off and cold and to kill. is to brutalise and exhibit cruelty or be closed off from others.
i definitely don't think that "kill the boy" is meant to be an empowering line, it's role in jon's downfall is insurmountable evidence to this claim. it causes him to shut himself off from the relationships that matter, sam, gilly, edd, and other members of the nights watch, etc, it is his isolation and lack of communication that limits his abilities as a leader. alienating the people who care about him since he had internalised "kill the boy" as meaning that leaders cannot have friends or confidants. this unchecked power stemming from the isolation is what allows him to treat gilly so horribly without being called out on it, or how the baby swap plan is so cruel to a child who's circumstances are not unlike his. "kill the boy, let the man be born" and the leaning into cruelty as opposed to kindness is what turns individuals with authority corrupt or cruel, since their view of sympathy and compassion is suddenly as weaknesses instead of virtues.
maester aemon spouting this rhetoric is another topic i find incredibly interesting (but i'm not as good at talking about lol), as it links into the trauma and chaos of the targaryen dynasty, the blackfyre rebellions and how their power, their relationships and rulership has been so linked to brutality. aemon comes to acknowledge his own bias, and generational bias relating to tptwp,
"No one ever looked for a girl," he said. "It was a prince that was promised, not a princess. Rhaegar, I thought . . . the smoke was from the fire that devoured Summerhall on the day of his birth, the salt from the tears shed for those who died. He shared my belief when he was young, ... What fools we were, who thought ourselves so wise! The error crept in from the translation. ... The language misled us all for a thousand years. Daenerys is the one, born amidst salt and smoke. The dragons prove it."
Samwell IV, AFFC
i do believe that aemon's realisation of the common interpretation of tptwp being wrong encourages us to study his other beliefs/lines through the same critical lens. that grrm wants us to challenge what he tells us, to challenge this value of losing your identity (killing the boy). this is especially so as the general themes in the narrative arcs of the starklings all relate to identity. killing the boy, and thus losing the traits of childhood and crafting an isolated adulthood (and the isolated nature of power) to create injustice and cruelty. the juxtaposition of it in relation to wordsworth's "the child is the father of the man" where the child is the one who raises a good man/person, that perhaps continuing to possess some elements of childhood and the kindness and intuition most children have is perhaps more beneficial to the masses than an adult. the wordsworth line in contrast to aemon's reflects the typical collision of romanticism with reality, as well as giving value to the romantic ideals, as well as value of community based leadership or at least collaboration and open discussion between masses (linking to grrm's other common theme, feudalism = bad).
and whilst this may also link to overall themes of romanticism/romantic heroes in contrast with gothic tropes and almost modernist representations and contexts, as well as some theories that the conflict with the others will be resolved in a more peaceful manner than depicted in the show, i don't really feel like getting into that at the moment.
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