#introvert care

[alwaysuttori]

5 Ways to Embrace Life at the Cabin this Winter + Cabin Life Fashion

If you’re lucky enough to have a cabin nestled deep in a tranquil wood, or even if you’re not, and, like many of us, can only dream of the life lived in a cozy cabin, we hope you’ll enjoy these 5 rituals of the folkway that you can bring into your winter

“It is good to know that out there, in a forest in the world, there is a cabin where something is possible, something fairly close to the sheer happiness of being alive.” – Sylvain Tesson Depending on where you live, heading to the cabin to recharge is a time-honored practice, or what Always Uttori calls a folkway. In Minnesota, instead of going to the warm and sunny south, there are many who…

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[whobloidlostingublerland]

[s-richmond]

Oh fuck, you know what I'm tired of? Memes and facebook and tumblr posts about introverts that are like:

"You have to love and feed and water your introvert, because without you (their extrovert friend) they'll wither and die!"

"You (the extrovert) have to go out and find and save introverts from their boring little lives, because otherwise how would they ever have any fun?"

"Its so important to give YOUR introverts space, because they just can't handle the world like YOU can."

"Maybe sure to introduce YOUR introvert to other introverts. How else would they make friends? Theres SO MANY people to meet!"

"Make sure to leave out comfy pillows and snacks for YOUR introverts!"

This shit is always posted by extroverts (although of course not every extrovert posts this). There are two themes here. First, that introverts can't take care of themselves, or make friends on their own, or whatever and NEED an extrovert to be in their life and do that stuff for them.

Second, that extroverts own introverts like pets. Extroverts HAVE introverts. "This is my introvert!" "I rescued this introvert." 'Oh, have you met Jake? He's MY introvert!" "Make sure you take care of YOUR introverts!"

Seriously, fuck that.

It's insulting and infantilizing. It's untrue. It's ridiculous.

I see extroverts say this stuff all the time. Extroverts I know. I see them say this about me. To me. Here's what I think when I see and hear this:

"Do you realize that I can barley tolerate you sometimes?"

"Do you realize that mostly I think you're an idiot?"

"Do you realize that most people don't like to be talked at for three hours straight, non stop, about topics that they have repeatedly told you they have no interest in?"

"Do you realize that you sound like a 3 year old?"

"Do you realize that when I walk away from you its not an invitation to follow me?"

"Do you realize that there's an entire language of social cues that you are completely ignorant of?"

"Do you realize that I'm a fully functioning adult and that just because I'm not EXACTLY THE SAME AS YOU doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with me?"

Not every extrovert I know. Not all the time. But often, So often. (And of course I don't SAY this to extroverts. I'm an introvert, after all.)

So before you decide to make a cute post about taking care of "your introvert", please seriously consider that "your introvert" thinks you're a twat.

[alwaysuttori]

Introvert Survival Guide

Photo Credit: Andrew Regam – 619721904. gettyimages.com INTROVERT SURVIVAL GUIDE Although this post  has been planned for months, it wasn’t until yesterday, Monday of this week, that I really knew what I wanted to write for this Introvert Survival Guide. Survival guides are popular, but implicit in the title of a survival guide for introverts is the cultural idea that introverts are fragile,…

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[queergremlin]

How to tell if you’re overpowering your quiet friend

Ok guys, so as the person who’s usually the “quiet one” in just about any group, I have a few thoughts.  A lot of times I’m kind of the group wallflower in that I like to sit back and watch and listen to interactions, and most of that is ok because I’m a hardcore introvert and that’s just who I am.  Sometimes, however, people like me want to interact and interject opinions a bit more but are kind of just overpowered by all of the louder people who are more liberal with their thoughts.  We generally loathe “breaking in” to a conversation that’s fast paced without any breaks and so will choose sitting in silence over voicing our thoughts.  In my experience this usually isn’t purposeful at all on the part of the talkative people, so I thought I’d share a few ways to know if you’re unintentionally overpowering your quiet friend(s). 

Ask yourself if you know these things about your friend (this is obviously assuming that you’re in a fairly close-knit friend group where real talk regularly happens):

What’s an issue that they’re passionate about?

If there is a general consensus among the friend group about a topic, does this particular friend agree or disagree?

What’s something major that this friend has gone through in the recent past?

If your group regularly eats out, what’s their favorite/least favorite place to go?

What’s a cool talent they have?

What’s one thing that they say all the time?

What’s something they really love?

What’s something they really hate?

Obviously these are just a few general questions and nothing is one size fits all, but if you realize that you know most/all answers for most of your friend group and none or only a couple for a certain person, I can guarantee you that they will completely love you for creating an intentional space for them.  Just a simple “What’s your opinion, __(insert name here)__?” is a godsend for people like me because it gives me a clearly recognized opening to speak up without having to fight for it.  If your friend legit doesn’t have an opinion, they’ll tell you so, but odds are they have a million thoughts they’ve been keeping in their head rather than calling attention to themselves.

So go ahead and give it a try.  If you intentionally notice someone that’s really good at going unnoticed, there’s a huge chance that you just got yourself a new best friend.