“They thought you might be too quiet.”
I almost didn’t get a job once because it was thought I “might be too quiet”.
I was my line manager’s preferred candidate, but the two HR advisers who also interviewed me wanted this other chick; because she was bubblier than me, they said; came across more chitty chatty.
I was therefore discriminated against on the basis of my basic personality, my innate temperament. For being a quiet/introverted person. It wasn’t as if this was some corporate gig either, where an ‘if your face doesn’t fit’ vibe is probably more rife. This was an admin job in the public sector; as long as you tick all the boxes – the official ones, on paper – you’re good. My introversion shouldn’t have come into it. But it did.
What did they even mean anyway by “might be too quiet”? “Too quiet” for what? My manager had told me that my introverted disposition wasn’t a problem for her; she just wanted someone “who could do the job” (my manager had the final say over who was appointed, hence why I got the job). But what about the two advisers from HR? They obviously had different criteria.
It soon became clear to me what this was. The HR team was an extroverted team; full of loud, bubbly personalities, who’d engage in lots of banter, squeal whenever someone brought in samosas; organise the nights out and the Secret Santas.
So, of course they would have gone for Bubbly Chick over me, because she came across as one of them: someone clubbable, sociable, fun-lovable.
This is how Quiet Prejudice manifests in the job recruitment process. In addition to the official person spec, there’s another set of criteria you’re assessed against; to gauge how suitable you are for that other job office workers are required to carry out; socialising with the team; contributing to the camaraderie.
This means that sometimes it doesn’t matter if you’ve passed the test given a great presentation answered all the interview questions correct. If you come across too serious, or even worse, a little too shy; then you could be passed over for another candidate, one with less experience perhaps, but who makes up for that by being more lively, chit-chatty, jump-up-and-downy.
That’s almost what happened to me. What those HR advisers meant when they said I “might be too quiet”, was “too quiet” for getting on and fitting in with them. They wanted an extrovert in the job, because office spaces are also social spaces and introverts can make things awkward dampen the mood a bit with our conspicuous silences and getting our heads down and on with it.
It shouldn’t do, but when it comes to getting a job, particularly an office job, in our extrovert dominant society, being quiet can count against you.