Love your work, and would love another Bucky fanfic of Bucky in being involuntarily admitted to a psych hospital!!
Okay... so this is another one of after he's captured in CAWS, the poor boy is confused. Hurts much.
I'd also like to do one when he's more in his normal life and then has issues that require care.
(P.S. this is like a year late.... eep)
TW: Forced sedation, mental health, confusion
-
“He can’t be trusted on his own.”
“But does that mean we have to keep him as a prisoner? None of it was his fault.”
“No, that doesn’t change what he is capable of. He needs help and he needs to be kept away from the wrong people, this is our only option.”
The Soldier’s head lolled forward, he was fighting but the drugs were threatening to pull him under again. The men outside the holding cell were talking about him. With effort he dragged his gaze up to the reinforced window separating them from him. A coterie of men in suits and uniforms were watching him. Despite the heavy sedation that kept him crumpled on the floor he felt his face flush red in embarrassment, the pure helplessness of the situation-- he had new masters. He should have known he couldn’t stay gone. He would never be free-
That something like him was created to be owned and to be used.
“He’s been given enough sedation to take down a horse and somehow he’s still conscious. Kind of amazing.”
“Martin, you won’t think it’s so amazing when you’re the one tasked with keeping him docile.”
“I’m not worried about that, you know we have our methods. But it is hard to believe he’s the world’s most dangerous assassin when he’s drooling on the floor like that. Looks as harmless as a kitten.”
The soldier let his eyes fall. He didn’t even know why he was even trying to bother with listening to them. Why did it matter for him to figure out what they would do with him? It was foolish to even pretend like he had a choice.
If only he hadn’t squatted in that apartment for two nights in a row. He had gotten tired- no, lazy, it was no wonder they found him.
Now it would just be easiest if he let them do what they wanted. He didn’t want to fight anymore. If he was lucky maybe the Americans would wipe him again. At least then he wouldn’t have to be there for whatever they would make him do.
---
“Hey there, buddy. Can you look at me? Yeah attaboy, that’s it.” There was a bright light in his eyes, strong fingers were holding his chin. When he drowsily tried to pull away they tightened.
“Ah- ah, be a good boy, let me look at your eyes.”
The Soldier did as the man asked and stilled.
“Good,” The man cooed in a falsely gentle tone, “Not so much fight left anymore, huh?”
Don’t respond. He wasn’t allowed to respond to the scientists unless ordered. Pierce liked to punish him for that one.
“Damn they sure trained him, when does he snap out of the drooling mess and into an assassin?” A disembodied voice rang out from behind the man with the light.
The Soldier blinked again, were the scientists going to actually do something?
“He’s cleared for another dose, everything looks normal.”
“There’s my answer then. Hey James, time to take the little pills again.” The voice from behind was giddy, the soldier didn’t understand.
But then a cup was being foisted into his vision much too quickly and his head was being tilted back by another pair of hands. He opened his mouth willingly, perhaps they would actually knock him out for this experiment?
---
“Shit. I mean he wants to see him. We can’t very well say no to Captain America.”
“We can and we will. Mr. Barnes is much too unstable at the moment.”
“He’s already here and the director has already ordered that we allow it.”
Who was Mr. Barnes?
“Jesus, they’re gonna send him off the deep end again, he’s just barely responding as it is now. Doesn't even know where he is...”
“We’ll keep him restrained, it’ll be fine.”
The Soldier continued to stare at the wall that faced away from the cell door. They might stare at him but he at least liked to ignore it. He knew he wasn’t supposed to mind. Someone had told him that once. At least he thought? Someone with cold eyes.
---
They had him set up at a table, attached to a chair with a jacket with no ends to the sleeves that wrapped around himself.
He had forgotten himself as he sat there, empty. He remembered he was good at that.
A door opened but at first no one came through. The Soldier could only think that he was tired. He wished they’d put him back into cryo.
“Buck.”
A man had appeared, was standing right in front of him. He looked ... in pain?
“Hi, Bucky, they said you might not remember me,” The blonde man laughed uncertainly, “Judging by the look on your face, guess they were right.”
A sad smile replaced the wry one that had appeared during the laugh.
The Soldier stared back, confused. This didn't make sense.
“Is this a memory?” The Soldier couldn’t help feeling like he had seen this man before, an old handler long gone?
For a moment the other man’s face lit up, but just as quickly it fell back into the creased forehead, “It’s been that bad huh?”
What had been bad? The mission?
“Permission to speak?”
The creases grew deeper, was he making the handler unhappy?
“No, you don’t have to-" The man started but then stopped himself, seemed to think and then continue with that same heart broken look in his eyes, "Um yes, you can speak.”
“Something is wrong with my programming, sir. I do not-”
He had relived memories before, Zola had liked to play around with it actually. This must be Pierce. Back before.
Where was Pierce?
The mission failed.
What mission?
“Bucky, do you remember meeting me? A few months ago? You saved my life.”
He wasn’t supposed to save lives? Was this a test?
He was going to be punished. They liked these games. He was playing it wrong.
“Captain, sir, I’m sorry to interrupt, but he’s becoming agitated, we don’t think that he- well that he understands where he is- thinks this is Hydra.”
Where did the new person come from? The Soldier hadn’t even noticed them.
“I’m sorry but we need to administer additional sedation,”
The Soldier jerked back in the chair he was attached to, what were they-? There were more people, nothing was moving like it was supposed to- That face.
But I knew him.
Pain overwhelmed his senses, punishment, Pierce said.
There were more hands on him. Voices, too many voices.
