#io.nrt

[ikemenomegas]

Book exchange with your omega:

The winter holidays have officially slowed things down for some of our most notorious workaholics… which means it’s time to catch up on some things they enjoy that are hard to do the rest of the year. All year, these omegas quietly look forward to the book exchange you started with them early in the committed phase of your relationship. Day 2 ( it is still day 2 somewhere! I am catching up!) of 2025 Advent Event

Nanami

He loves the holiday break, really and truly. Email autoreply set, do no disturb on, little note pad of things he wants to get done around the house set up. He also really likes being able to spend time at home with you.

He wants your book exchange to be one of the first things you do. He has a really hard time holding himself back when buying you books (if that’s your thing) because of what they represent for him, but he knows you won’t have infinite time to read them. He’s near perfect at estimating how long a book will take you though so he usually sneaks in an extra one or two shorter options

He’s not picky about what you get him as long as it’s interesting, although he does seem partial to those sort of long-form investigative reporting books about things like the history of wheat or one type of textile art, and genre fiction. Genre fiction is his guilty pleasure. The formulaic-ness of it surrounding the novelty of the characters and a little trope bending is a great combination of comforting and predictable but new and different

He loves bringing you something warm to drink with something yeasted to eat in the morning, to get lazy with you reading for an hour or so before he does some exercise, gets a quick shower in, and then spends time with you in between bursts of reading

“Kento?”

“Mmm.” He can feel the late-morning winter sun, gold and liquid over his back, the sheets draped over his bare shoulders, hair tousled and scalp relaxed without the weight of gel. He groans in appreciation at how his eyes don’t hurt because he was able to go home promptly by five the night before.

One of the short stuttering purrs he’ll sometimes let out in moments of utter contentment like this rolls through his chest and throat as you giggle. Very close. Perfectly close. How beautiful, to have his alpha awake when he’s awake, instead of him sneaking out of the house for work before you get up.

One of the few days of the year… his eyes crack open to you kneeling on the bed, finger poised above his eye. He grabs your hand slow, heavy, pulls it under his chin rather than yank you down. “What were you doing?”

You humph at being caught. “Touching your eyelashes.”

A lazy growl leaves him.

He doesn’t want to choose between getting up and getting the presents in the bag he saw behind you, but trying to decide is waking him up too. He starts patting his hand across the blanket over your shoulder, chuckling when you laugh at him.

“Now what are you doing?”

“Trying to peak,” he grins, eyes still mostly closed.

He is successfully distracted by you wrapping your arms around him and kissing him until he has to catch his breath.

Kakashi

If any of you have met someone who likes a genre of book, but only a handful of books in that genre because they perfectly suit their taste, that’s Kakashi. People like that are HARD to buy for. Not because he’s going to be rude about you getting a book he didn’t like that much, but because you adore him and don’t want to give him something that’s just going to end up in the DNF pile

It’s also kind of rough because Kakashi is an ao3 girlie at heart. He can read the raunchiest of icha icha in public without breaking a sweat but cannot talk about it if you ask him what the book is about, turns into an adorable stuttering tomato

This opens up an optional sort of humiliation ritual of having him read romance novels out loud to you, and he especially has fun if you also read and he can see you getting flustered too. But not all the books can be like that! You still want to get him things he’s going to enjoy!

Actually if you get him an Icha Icha zine from someone he knows has a brain that agrees with him on the tropes, he’d love that. Or a special edition. If he likes the new covers on reprints that’s great, or if you rebind a copy of it yourself to give to him, he might actually cry. He’ll almost certainly be entirely fanboyed out if you can find good art to tuck into the pages as personalized extras

You had never been so happy that Kakashi could reasonably pull seniority to make sure he wasn’t called away in the middle of your vacation. An extended break time with your mate meant reading in the cushy floor situation you’d built together on the balcony/sunroom, romping about in the bedroom, cooking together in the kitchen, shopping for his kids at the holiday market and finding truly awful gag gifts for his friends’ white elephant exchange.

And of course, you had to find a book to give him.

Surely he had noticed you staring at him all morning because he’d given you a precious few minutes to arrange one of your gifts for him on his pillow, perfectly so the pleats of it sort of blended with the pretty tissue paper you’d gotten to drape just so… Because this gift really did deserve such an impression.

You eyed it, admiring your work even if the corners were a teeny tiny bit less neat than a machine-printed book, but the stitching peaking out and connected to the spine matched the heroine’s kimono colors described in detail from the matssuri festival from chapter ten. You’d found enough motifs to emboss a little border of objects, a class beaker, a kunai, a unrolled scarf, a fishing pole, around the front and back covers. And being a shinobi did have its perks in being good enough at forging you’d copied Jiraiya’s handwriting as the summary blurb and quotes on the back. You figured it wouldn’t exactly break secrecy or anything, with Kakashi having been the hokage and all.

Kakashi’s stare on your back was heavy as he caught you looking with pride at the bound copy of book three you’d spent weeks working on between your busy schedules to keep it something of a secret.

And then he knelt down into his spot on the floor with something akin to reverence. “Is that…” he grabbed it with a caress that almost had you getting jealous over the leather your hands had worked over character by painstaking character.

He flipped through it with familiar eagerness, the pages falling open to the ink paintings you had been beyond lucky to find a few months ago being sold by a bookshop worker who was a fan of the series.

He was so absorbed in it so quickly, slouching against your side and curling up in the warmth of your body. You didn’t have to ask if he liked it, and really couldn’t help the low and steady purr that began to thrum in your chest as he lost himself in the book like it was brand new again.

Yamato/Tenzo

He’s not much of an extended sitting novel reader. A page turner is fine, but he likes books that are slow paced enough he can read long and slow, getting up to make himself tea, eat lunch with you, get some training in, then go out into a hammock between his two favorite trees and read again

He likes books about other people’s skills, historical fiction and nonfiction. He’d probably love Les Miserables, books on cooking, or maybe even an economic treatise…

Reading reminds him in a non-painful way that the world is vast and wide and he hasn’t seen much of it yet. Where usually realizations like this make him feel a little naive and resentful, reading about things makes him grateful there’s a lot left to experience, with you, with his friends, even through work. Things have changed, he doesn’t need to be only some ignored trunk, valued only for the graft that took on him when it did for no-one else.

He loves doing book exchange with you on break because it gives him time to think and digest and ruminate, where usually that kind of thing is discouraged as a distracting liability

You’re reading the book he got you on wildflower cultivates native to the woods around Konoha - which in its own way is amusing because you know the Yamanaka who’s the first author and would have never pegged their personality as being suitable for the work in this - when Tenzo crawls onto the wide couch cushions and into the loop of your arms, making quite a comfortable arm-rest actually.

“I think it would be fun to travel to the Land of Iron,” he says after you’ve slowed down reading considerably, distracted by running your fingers up and down his spine.

“Really?” this makes you lower the book.

“Shinobi are quite… judgemental about their lifestyle. But they’ve made beautiful structures with steel and even bronze. It’s hard to imagine.” In this village with most of the buildings made from timber. Many from the wood of his body, and the body of his predecessor.

He’s got the slightly faraway look he gets sometimes when he’s imagining going places. It’s hard because the elders don’t like the idea of the last mokuton user in the village being too far from home for long. But Tenzo knows very well what he is and is not allowed to do, what is and isn’t possible, and most typically errs on the side of caution, so you simply enjoy him spinning the fantasy, walking down the street together and finding one of the pounded disks Iron has learned to carry music in, traveling to the side of their nation set far away from Shinobi society and very different for it.

He doesn’t talk much necessarily, so with you, when he talks like this, you love to listen as he speaks quiet and thoughtful by your side, his words almost tucked precious and self-consciously to the hollow of your throat as you make mental note of the things he was most interested in. If it’s a shorter trip, maybe you can talk them into letting him have it. The world was changing, Tenzo should be allowed to see it.

[ikemenomegas]

I need my omegas waking up curled around a body pillow and grinding into it.

Kakashi

You're watching him with a shameless grin as he moves his hips faster and faster, eyes finally cracking open although it's impossible to tell how long he's been awake. He's hazy at first, lost in whatever dream he was having, and then he sees you and he keeps eye contact as his movements become more deliberate, slower, rolling into the motions and sighing, eyelids half lowered. "Not going to ask for me, pretty boy?" you coo at him and he doesn't answer, daring you to do something about it, his heart racing as he's sure you will. The question is whether you'll let him come first.

Tenzo

He wakes up breathing hard, disoriented by the feeling of overheating, flushing in waves and embarrassed. But he's so close too! He experimentally grinds against the pillow. It's not as intense as when he woke up, embarrassment is making it harder to sink into the arousal, and it takes a while to work himself up. All the while he's been subconsciously scooting back until his back is against your side. His movements and needful scent have made his alpha hard too, and he can feel them when they roll over and hold him from the back. That feeling is what he didn't know he needed and he accidentally edges himself as he goes back and forth between grinding his behind against his alpha and his front against the pillow.

Shisui

His hips move in little jerks as he comes to. He wasn't having a spicy dream, he just felt warm and comfortable. He starts to think if he was turned towards his alpha, he'd be grinding against their hip and thigh, slicking into his pajama bottoms, maybe sinking into it as they turn to kiss him. Imagining grinding against his alpha sort makes him think himself into a half-lucid wet dream where he's not sure if the pillow is his alpha. He starts chirping for them, which leads to his alpha pulling the pillow away and replacing it with their body to make his dream a reality

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Choso

As a stranger to having a physical form, there's a disconnect with experiencing unintentional arousal. He has the foundation body's memories, but they hold no emotional weight for him. It also isn't in his nature to seek furious and immediate satisfaction. He's dogged, not classless.

He's also half asleep when you catch him jolting into the long pillow that lays on his left side, followed by grinding into it before relaxing again. When you ask him if he wants you to take care of him, he groans an agreement that becomes muffled by your mouth as he moans yes again and again to each press of lips to his shoulders and neck. To his surprise, you guide him in rubbing against the pillow, soaking the seat of his flannel while you have him in hand, and kissing him silly with giggles once coming wakes him up the rest of the way and he's sort of adorably disoriented

Satoru

The slow burn simmers in his belly as he tries to stay asleep a little longer after another long night. He's finally tumbled into bed with you and your arm is around him, your breath tickling his nape. It's comfortable but also uncomfortable, hot but also not hot enough. He feels like he wants something to satisfy the ache between his thighs that eased each time he pushed a bunched part of his pillow to his core, but also disinclined to do anything about it. The frustration is starting to wake him up into a foul mood when you croon, purr against the back of his neck, go from kissing to licking his bondmark, the one obvious scar on his body, and latching your teeth into it just enough to flood his brain with something that calms his growing impatience without making him limp as a kitten. You nibble on the scar around his gland just enough for it to last and he resists the urge to try flushing the hormones from his system as you reach around and brace the pillow, make it easier for him to push onto. "Patience, my dear," you murmured, languid and unbothered, "just enjoy it." So he tries, letting his breathing go deep, feeling the sparks through his core as you kiss now and again against his mark, keeping him calm and contained until he slips off the pillow and onto your thigh, and then slips comfortably back to sleep before he can come.

Suguru

Is a little unsatisfied from the moment he's aware enough to realize he's been digging his teeth into his own arm and grinding against the huge body pillow on rather than his alpha during his afternoon nap. He finds his alpha napping in the chair by the bed, and lifts their hand to his nose, rubbing the gland in their wrist and inhaling as he wraps his thick thighs around the wide pillow, getting almost embarrassingly slick from his alpha's pheromones in his nose. He doesn't want to wake you, but he also kind of wishes you'd wake up and help him deal with this. He's embarrassingly aroused and moaning quietly as soon as you're awake enough that he doesn't feel like he's actually waking you up with his display, eagerly awaiting a quick romp and tie before he has to get up and deal with the mess he's made of his life.

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Sunday

Freezes in mortification once he realizes what he's doing, feeling his traitorously sensitive body pulsing at his core, having almost come without a single layer of his immaculate pajamas being moved. He's listening intently for his alpha to see whether they've heard him and think he is deserving of scolding. If his alpha does not wake up, he confesses to them later that he might had have a lewd dream leading into a rude awakening, and that he tried to do something for his arousal before he realized what was going on. He looks like he's going to pass out when you cheerfully tell him that this isn't abnormal, but he's secretly quite pleased when you misinterpret his concern and fluster, and simply end up telling him to wake you up next time if he needs something

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Homura Shizuka (psycho pass)

Stress tends to impact him more than he would like. He suffers from bouts of very vivid dreams during periods of stress, some of which leave him waking up writhing in his bedding. He knows his alpha never would begrudge him anything, but if he can, if he doesn't feel too disconnected from their bond with what he's doing, he calls his alpha. He'll whine into the communicator while they talk him softly through it and if he can't reach them, he has a recording that will play to help him keep calm. After the games, he experiences fairly horrific stress hormone crashes that result in a day or two where he needs to sleep with his alpha at his side, to feel them take charge of him if they notice him waking up and in need of release.

[ikemenomegas]

Omegas who lose their alphas, especially the ones who don't withdraw from the fading bond, can suffer from pheromone withdrawal. This is especially true of omegas before their heats stop. While perfumes lack the actual pheromone component, scent memory can help an omega through the time after losing their mate, and even after that if they so choose.

Naruto Omegas

Haku: He learns how to make his own tinctures and essential oils and invents an unusually accurate combination that triggers profound relaxation in him. Honestly he feels like it's a drug sometimes. It makes his few remaining heats before they stop almost as easy as having his mate around since his body regulates just the way it would based on habit.

In his wandering, he develops a little bit of a reputation for his skill and many omegas will ask him to make a scent for them. He gently refuses until his heats stop, because he's worried about forgetting the exact notes of his alpha's scent. After that, he will occasionally help someone and then it becomes a way for him to live well in every town he stops in.

Kakashi: would be heartbroken if his mate passed away before him, especially if they're both relatively young still. His mask becomes something he uses to keep their scent with him always, dabbing a little perfume on his neck so he still smells freshly scented and a little on the inside of the fabric so he can taste it on the back of his tongue.

Sasuke: keeps a bottle on him always, and often holds the bottle, stroking the sides, touching the cork, pinching the string holding a few charms to the lid, but he will usually stop himself from opening it because it's like being hurt by his mate's loss all over again. He has rough heats after his mate passes away and the imitation scent helps as much as it hurts. As the grief starts to ease, he will sometimes dab a little on his wrists or behind his ears so the scent drifts around him, making him feel like they're always watching over him

JJK Omegas

Satoru: will figure out how to make this himself. It's time he doesn't really have, but it's just not accurate to his alpha's scent otherwise. He tried some expensive bespoke stuff that carried the right notes, but it just wasn't the right way. Once he has it, it stays in his bedroom drawer, and an extra bottle at your old apartment. He's most likely to splash it around there, especially as his alpha's scent starts to fade, to make it feel like someone is still there to make a home for him to come back to.

Nanami: is very polite about wearing his mate's pheromone imitator because he wants to keep all his emotions to himself and also feels it's rude to wear an obvious perfume in public, in case someone is allergic to his alpha. It's okay, this also makes him laugh. He'll take more walks outside so he can wear the perfume at his wrists and collar without feeling impolite. When the remnants of his heats are dying away, he will still spread the scent on his nest bedding, and also on the pillow right by his.

SNK Omegas

Levi: he's sensitive about smells so he almost doesn't get one until Erwin's mate suggests a place that only uses natural ingredients. It isn't the same, but it's enough that when he's alone in his, your, bed, he can set the bottle behind him like a diffusing oil and feel like you're scenting the room for him. It helps him sleep but he often wakes with his heart so heavy he has to force himself out of bed.

Erwin: keeps the bottle on his desk so he can watch the light shine through it. He likes to keep it very light, but all over, as though you may have just walked by, scented the house, run through with your pups when they were young. He uses the scent to trigger happier memories of your time together and then write those memories down so he and his pups can remember his alpha

[ikemenomegas]

if there was a sudden transformation of our omegas into hybrid omegas

naruto version:

sasuke would make an excellent and somewhat crabby black cat. suddenly he's very expressive! just look at his ears and tail and you'll figure everything out very quickly. If you tell him this makes life much easier and he might keep them a little longer, watch out if he swipes at you. cue him knocking things off the counter with a deadpan expression while you beg him not to. He starts liking chin scritches and is offended by this information.

sasori is so disappointed whatever made this happen has not turned him into a spider-ish kind of thing. If it did, he could tie his alpha up for some fun and also experiment with his own venom. And then he discovers being a goat hybrid allows him to temporarily digest metal, spring twenty feet straight up into the air to his alpha's shocked protests, and also has very cute and threatening horns

nagato has thee cutest little ears as a red least weasel hybrid. He is so flustered by becoming so cute and also by having a tail. His teeth are somehow much sharper than usual but the fangs are both dangerous and adorable. He's ever so embarrassed when you ask if he'll let you touch his teeth and he ends up falling asleep sucking on your fingers while curling his tail around you.

haku probably makes you think he'd be something like a deer hybrid with his big liquid eyes and soft demeanor but he is pleasantly surprised to be an arctic fox. He's very pleased with having a large, expressive tail that any fool couldn't help admire (and his alpha is no fool!). He sits up in bed looking utterly unsurprised by becoming a hybrid for a day or two and tucks his tail over his feet and arranges himself on the bed and blinks up at you very invitingly. You should pet his ears please.

gaara is very sweetly confused to wake up as a fruit-bat hybrid. He isn't very thrilled with the sound sensitivity, and the wings are initially kind of a tripping hazard, but he warms to it once his mate talks him into a few days of light duty and work-from-home. His mate feels the kazekage can't be expected to work under these conditions! He craves fruit and cuddles and a solution to this problem because his people depend on him. Convincing him to take a break is really good for him in the long run.

shisui wakes up as a very adorable otter hybrid. he loves that his sudden craving for fish and seafood results in your catering to his whims at every dinner while this stranger occurrence lasts. He's slightly embarrassed by wanting to swim a lot and being spoiled in this regard too. He becomes very clingy when he sleeps, and likes to bundle you up in a nest by wrapping blankets around you. He also becomes prone to hissing when irritated where he's usually much more leveled.

tenzo is likely still a tree something, much to his chagrin if others around him have also transformed (perhaps it is a mass effective jutsu. all of konoha is now.. plagued with being a zoo), but he'd be a pretty cute cat too. not a domestic cat, but something that likes to get up high. perhaps a smallish jaguar? truly mortifying to want very badly to make a cat tower for oneself and also to loft one's bed into the air for very specific rather than aesthetic reasons... the cat tower may get donated to a local part as a jungle gym later. Or kept. He's not sure

sai has the honor of becoming an Amami black rabbit hybrid. just the most perfect tear-drop shaped ears the same color as his hair, and tail so little and soft. he's rather sleepy during the day like this but he's feeling new feelings blooming in his belly and chest as you cuddle and coo at him while he passes out into naps while the sun is up. he feels a bit bad about being awake at night, because he's bored if you don't stay up, but that's okay. he may try cooking snacks for you and himself at night.

honorable mentions:

shino isn't on my list but i think he'd make an awfully cute hedgehog hybrid. in my mind it just has to be a hedgehog. he's really hoping you don't mind his hair now needing to be stroked in one direction and he's not disappointed.

for some reason, i think it would be very funny for shikamaru to become a capybara hybrid although a very lazy lemur might also suit him. if he becomes a deer hybrid he curses his horns getting stuck in doorways and pouts and then refuses to get off the couch

gaara also has something slightly cat-like about him, but he's not mischievous or sleepy enough. it feels like there's something on the tip of my tongue but can't remember it...

[ikemenomegas]

You know what we never talk about? How utterly terrifying Zabuza is as a father?brother?shark? in-law when you are married to Haku.

Haku is happy which means Zabuza doesn't exactly have cause to stand around being terrifying, but make no mistake. If you don't treat his literal disney princess that he raised with his own two hands like the king he is... you are dead meat XD

[ikemenomegas]

Imagining a canon-timeline au where the alpha who would have been Itachi's mate had he lived realizes as they mature that they should be taking care of his younger brother in his stead, and becomes half the reason Sasuke isn't prosecuted for treason when he comes back to Konoha, and is also somewhere in the line of the Nara clan.

Sasuke: being depressed in prison

*loud noise somewhere*

Itachi's alpha: Let me in! *followed by a very stressed looking Sakura and a sort of ruffled looking Naruto*

A warden: What is all this noise?!

Itachi's would-be alpha: You have to let me see my client

A warden: What client??

Naruto: What client? What are you??

Itachi's would-be alpha: I'm a lawyer as of about ten days ago. I've taken the ninja equivalent of the bar and also quit being a shinobi so i'm not sure about the exact wording of those credentials, but I demand to see my client!

B warden: Does our village do criminal lawyers?

Itachi's would-be alpha: Alleged! criminal lawyers. I'm noting down that you have called my client a criminal when he has not been through trial!

Sasuke: *starting to get a headache*

B warden: He is a criminal!

Itachi's would-be alpha: How many crimes that the village recognizes as crimes did he actually commit?

A warden: *opens mouth closes mouth*

Itachi's would-be alpha: Exactly. You can't make assumptions based on the bad reputation of the term "missing nin". It's not good law.

Shikamaru: *has just caught up because he will Not run unless he has to* I'm very sorry for my cousin. Please let them in to see Sasuke.

Naruto: You have cousins! That's cool!

Sakura: You have cousins? I thought the Nara only bred in singlets

Shikamaru: *sighs*

[ikemenomegas]

I'm sorry Itachi, but I do think just about every version of him needs glasses. And somewhere, there is a world where Itachi is scolding someone, and they look terrified, until you slip in next to him, murmuring, you've forgotten these, love, and sudden Itachi is blinking, a little startled at you, eyes open and as beautiful as anything. He thanks you and goes right back to scolding, but suddenly doesn't look so scary anymore, while you just give him this mushy look and then walk away.

[ikemenomegas]

Akatsuki harem - The Daybreak Courts a Ruyi's royal palace inspired au

notes: this an insanely pretty name for a set of inner palaces to me. too bad it's full of clowns. huanghou would technically be a gender neutral, since it denotes the consort of the emperor, and huangdi is also "technically" a gender neutral term, historical precedent is the only thing which denotes a gender role. sorry no one's happy here

[divider lines]

Nagato is the previous main husband, and his memory is treated much more kindly than he deserves. He probably orchestrated the barren state of the majority of your concubines, although he never stooped to harming those that did manage to be born. Unfortunately, he was too frail after an accident on a royal tour and his birth clan couldn't provide him much support after a major flood in their lands so he faded from the huangdi's heart

Zetsu - the remarkably resilient houseplant. Somehow they know everyone's business because everyone runs off to the same "secret" places to vent about one another and huangdi. Or maybe this is the gardener? None of the regular consorts know because they pay no attention

Hidan - would be the consort who goes to pray all the time and acts as though he's extremely holy compared to others because of it, but secretly curses the other consorts. he gets caught eventually because Deidara is the kind of consort to make a humongous fuss if someone dares to target him, even though all's fair etc. His actions are too much for you to ignore unfortunately, though disturbingly, he doesn't seem to care

Sasori - is the most normal acting of all the consorts, shockingly. He's quiet and considerate of your moods. ...Maybe a little too considerate. He's experienced with traditional medicine so he will curry favor with you by sending you good things to eat. If you don't eat them all the time, that's your business, probably gets poisoned himself at some point because someone jealous mistakes his behavior with shared affection, although he survives it

Kisame - does not marry into the harem. He's Itachi's guard, but while he's very good at his job, he sort of spies on your second main husband. For everyone. For you, for other consorts, for your remaining royal siblings. No one ever quite knows what he's after and he's just as likely to take the head off someone digging in Itachi's business as tell them what they want to now. Or even things they didn't want to know

Itachi - becomes the main husband after Nagato. He wasn't chosen the first round because of personal history and relatively poor health but the second time he is still the fortunate, or unfortunate, focus of your affection so he is put on the highest seat beside yours. He has a hard time because many people covet the seat, so he's constantly parrying other peoples' plots without being able to save anyone. If he gets involved in palace fights, he'll cross paths with the illusion of family harmony, if he pretends not to know, he has to resort to being reactive to things happening to him. All of it gives him stress.

Obito - evil uncle vibes. He's an extremely annoying and unpredictable member of the court, maybe an uncle by marriage? But he's always trying to have his spouse stick a hand into situations for him, when he can't manage to get in the way himself. Has Opinions about how you should be running the country and finds ways to make you suffer if you openly disagree with him, mostly by humiliating your favorite counselors or concubines

Deidara - is the consort who dresses the most extravagantly (iykyk for harem dramas) and complains Loudly to obtain more material goods as a stand-in for affection. Somehow he dodges overt scandal although it should be landing all over the place given his palace is noisy - he likes holding concerts and "demonstrations" in his courtyard and set off fireworks every possible celebration, his attitude is brazen - he's caught between idolizing Itachi, hating both himself and Itachi for this, and openly disobeying the main husband, and he's not a very good father either lol, really does not watch his children carefully for anything except another consort trying to kill them, even though he gets extremely defensive if another consort tries to get involved in day-to-day teaching or discipline

Kakuzu - should be dead by now. Just based on how time and aging work. He was one of your sire's main spouse's relatives, ended up on the inner palace staff, and knows everything about everyone. He can be bribed for the right price, but luckily your pockets are deeper than everyone else's so he just tells you. There is a seriously inappropriate amount of sexual tension between the two of you given the way he's entangled with your life, which probably sublimates into his being the one trust to evaluate consorts whose chastity is questioned, and sometimes to teach them bedroom tactics if they're considered lacking

Konan - would love for there to be something a bit weird and unnatural between you and her because she was one of the last consorts brought into your sire's harem, but never consummated the relationship bc she projected boredom and indifference so hard your sire shunned her, however you spent some time with her before taking the throne, and now her golden gaze sears you from across palace rooms since you elevated her to some kind of court position

Juzo - was Itachi's predecessor in the Palace of Earthly Honor, and the one who taught him palace rules when Itachi was just the consort of the crown princeps. He wasn't a high-ranking consort. There's not infinite space in the harem so some consorts will share and Juzo served the empress with intention to teach your consorts palace etiquette. Itachi's extremely upset when he learns Juzo's life was sacrificed to protect your dam's

Dishonorable mention:

Orochimaru - is one of the few harem members ever kicked out. It was because he was selling substances that could be used for medicine poison to members of the inner and outer courts. He wasn't beheaded simply because he threatened someone's life with the antidote and his freedom as the price. Was still sentenced with an infertility potion he's constantly trying to undo now, so at least this keeps him distracted

Sasuke and co. - he sort of got involved with a scheme set up by his maternal uncle, Obito. Itachi put his foot down extremely fast, no way was he allowing his little brother to enter the harem, even if Sasuke did mean to poison him on the way. Actually he'd probably drink the poison and enjoy it, thanks. Suigetsu was caught up in the scheme and gets trapped in the inner palace. Karin gets herself set up as part of the medical staff although she eventually leaves. Jugo was a lower ranked guard already and gets to keep his position, but eventually leaves the capital to become a captain of a northern outpost.