Discover Top Posts Tagged with #ioncewasblind

FINALLY got some new glasses! #ioncewasblind #butnowisee #newglasseswhodis #4eyes

#newglasseswhodis #4eyes #ioncewasblind #butnowisee

That's right, after about 3 years of wrong prescriptions, your favourite neighbourhood Milhouse impersonator can SEE 👓👓👓 #ioncewasblind #BUTNOW #isee

#ioncewasblind #butnow #isee

At the eye doctor 😩😳😩 #justjokes #eyedoctor #ioncewasblind #comedy (at Elm Park, Worcester Ma)

#justjokes #comedy #ioncewasblind #eyedoctor

Broken again

We are all broken. That's how the light gets in.

Ernest Hemingway

I wrote a book once. It's more like a novella, a longer short story, about the year in my life that changed me forever. It was Junior year of High School and after getting out of the hospital for an "unknown virus", I left for school one morning and never went home again. I made a new home in Manhattan with my father.

My family stopped talking to me. My Uncle, who is more like a brother, wrote me a long letter telling me how selfish I was. The only people that never judged me were my grandparents. I took the F train every Sunday to Brooklyn and spent the day with them. After dinner, my gramps would drive me home over the Brooklyn Bridge and we would talk about everything.

It's sad to say that it has been far too many years since I felt the all encompassing understanding that my grams gave to me. My mother always had problems with my grams and it's ironic because I've always had issues with my mother.

My grams was a strong woman. She was serious. She wasn't loud but she was steadfast. But beneath the strength was a woman who was deeply sensitive and emotional. She always identified with the underdog and gave those she loved every piece of her leaving nothing for herself.

I am more like my grandmother than my mother. There's always been element of my relationship with my mom where I am the adult. It's taxing. And in order to have my mother in life, I need strong boundaries.

I don't like that these two women on the block saw me cry. Or that they know they've gotten the best of me. Or that a "friend" is so cold that she wouldn't check in with me after I approached her hysterically crying.

It speaks volumes about their lack of character. I blinded myself to Chris' behavior because I wanted my son to be included in things. But the veil has been lifted. And I can't ignore the things that were right in front of me. Actions that spoke volumes about Chris' feelings for me. The fact that we weren't friends. We were neighbors. And that's fine.

There's times in my life where I felt broken. After taking a bottle of tylenol and throwing up every half hour for 4 days (the hospital couldn't find it in my system, so they thought I had an "unknown virus") was the first time I felt like something broke inside me. My first miscarriage was the second time. Crazy to say this but my son's birth was the third time. And I would say this is the 4th.

In my teens, I had my grandmother who gave me an understanding that I would say only 1 friend really gives me.

Repairing the cracks in your spirit is hard and only time helps. The thing about this is that I don't want my kid affected. I don't want to be the cause of him feeling left out. That would break me.

And I do not want these women to ever see me that weak again. My stupidity for even showing that to Chris at all. Mark my words though, I will not allow her that ever again.

The thing about this is that I am not only dealing with a friend's betrayal but I am still figuring my feelings out about not being able to have another child. And it affects all this.

Because if I was able to have another baby, my son wouldn't be alone. The other kids on this block have a sibling to go home and play with. He doesn't. And I have guilt about that.

I am an only child. And I didn't think much of it as a kid. Because I was a loner. But he isn't. He likes playing with other kids. And so there's a tremendous amount of guilt and sadness that I can't give him a sibling and now I might have ruined friendships on the block.

Yesterday, he did play. Andrew went out with him. And everything was fine. And maybe that's what it will be. He'll play on the block and things will be fine. But there won't be the party invitations and all that stuff.

Like it has been. Only I was too stupid to see it.

#ioncewasblind #nowisee #grownwomenactinglikekids #friends #broken

They may walk and talk like human beings, but they had long since abandoned they're humanity.

#text post #ioncewasblind #cool #awesome #text #humans #humanity