#irisshutup

[iris-gotten-digested]

It suprises me how I'm still not diagnosed with anything the further i tolerate my life

[iris-gotten-digested]

Sigh, why can't I say things the way I want to say.

Like, is it really that weird or pickme-ish to say that a person reminds me of strawberry icecream??

Or like, I get it sounds racist but what is a person genuinely feels like they would taste of coffee and not because they're dark skinned??

And then if I tru to elaborate it turns into a poem thing and people don't like poem things.

[iris-gotten-digested]

I need somebody to kiss the scars on my skin....

[iris-gotten-digested]

Tw: Ed

Why is dude spo-ing??

I feel so bad how most of my thinspo are literally british men (Peter Capaldi, David Tennant) and they are my role models but they would be so dissapointed in me for this:(:( They are literally my parasocial parental figures (and the roles they played).

[iris-gotten-digested]

sigh, why won't anyone date me??

Literally have a friend who just finds people and easily dates them.

It's kind off weird but sometimes I get, like, envious?? And maybe pissed off not at her but myself. Cause like, I'm the problem right?

Sigh, I'll probably die alone

[iris-gotten-digested]

Bro my mom really thought she could trick me

Literally says "Maximum Slim" :/

[iris-gotten-digested]

tw: ed

I'M SO FUCKING FAT I ACTUALLY HATE MYSELF SO MUCH OH MY GODDD FUCK I SWEAR I WANT TO CARVE THE FAT OFF MY FUCKING BONES MY FUCKING GOD. I WANT TO FUCKING ALL 43 OF MY MOM' WEIGHTLOSS PILLS BUT SHE'D NOTICE EVEN IF I TOOK ONE. AND I CAN'T STOP EATING OR THINKING ABOUT FOOD. FUCK. I GOING TO FUCKING, FUCK.

[iris-gotten-digested]

tw: sh

I don't even know why I cut.

Cuttingnused to be for attention.

But then after the first time it turned into an activity to do.

And then it turned into a stress reliever/ subsitute for crying (cause I lowkey can't cry)

And now I do it not so often in fear of my parents finding out I did it again and they will find my sui plan for emergencies and then they will become angry.

But I still want to....