#irl! reader

[sad-boy-hank]

does hank think all irl humans are fragile cause what if its like

Hank: you are so weak i need to protect you

reader, who has years of professional combat training and gets into fights for fun: you do?

oh, definetly. he sees how long your legs are and hes like "why the fuck are your feet attatched to sticks???" plus, Hank is inordinatley strong (he caves peoples skulls in with one hit!!!!) so he just autimatically assumes that he could snap you like a fucking twig with ease. plus, when you think about it, humans are kinda fragile. like, if you hit the ground the wrong way you got a whole bone sticking out of your leg. you hurt your lower back and you're in pain for months. stub your toe and you scream like youre dying. hank sees this and hes like "look at this freak. they would not survive a day without me."

[sad-boy-hank]

i was bingeing your nothing normal story(love it btw) and i was thinking since hank obv dosent understand human anatomy very well how would he react to a reader that can do that thing where you snort a noodle and pull it out your mouth

anon you are funnier than i ever will be--

hank would definitely be very fucking concerned. like bestie? how did you do that?the fuck you mean you dont know?

hes gonna try to do it himself and instantly goes into a coughing fit. which prompts them to ask you again how the fuck you do that.

when you say that most people can he throws afucking fit.