Idk what it says about myself that I don’t hate how Aaron is punishing himself over John by pushing Robert away.
Because at some point soon, Rob is going to need Aaron, and he’s going to be broken and he’s most likely going to be the one doing all the pushing away because whatever happened in prison has made him feel unworthy of love and scared he doesn’t deserve the future he wants with Aaron.
And it’s not surprising really, that Robert would assume this about himself, when everybody always thinks the worst of him, when he’s always walking on eggshells, scared to put his foot in it and ruin everything. And then there’s Aaron, constantly sticking the knife into Robert’s heart but only because he’ll also feel the pain.
But this is what Aaron does; he pushes Robert too far away until he actually does what he’s told, backs off so much that Aaron panics and has to face what he stands to lose when Robert is no longer fighting for the both of them. And when Robert’s at his most broken, that’s when Aaron will realise how badly he wants to be there for him, even if he’s now the one being shut out, because at the end of the day his love for him supersedes the walls he’s putting up to punish himself.
