being incapable of opening up to anyone while also desperately yearning to open up to someone and to be truly seen while also being 99% sure that there is nothing to gain from opening up to someone anyway while also believing that the only way to be happy is to meet the right person (could be platonic!) who shows me a unique perspective on life while also being depressed and having decreased interest in people because when was the last time anyone ever told me something I didn't already know which makes me think that maybe I've seen it all already which can't be true but still crushes my already dwindling hope for my future .... #idk










