westernization.
i hate how easy it's become. to be 'white-washed'. growing up in a place where your native language is not english, yet around the influence of everything white, it seems as though you're crossed between two cultures. why is it that it's normal for non-english speakers to use english as a primary language when it does not need to be that way? why is it that if someone is not fluent in english they are seen as uneducated? why is it that i, as an indian, feel more comfortable in sharing my thoughts and emotions and feelings in a language as shallow as english rather than my own native tongue?
in fact, the very thing i am doing right now must seem 'shameful', hypocritical. why is this so normalized? why is it so normal for us to grow up watching american cartoons, read books in english, communicate in english? why is it that when i try to speak a language that is to be called my own, i sputter and stumble, like it is an unknown terrain?
i don't know if im onto something. maybe i'm not, but i really hope i am.