I’m too sleepy to proofread this but here’s another installment of the Isla!au.
@dadrunkwriting
Des stepped in to the breakroom. It felt weird, coming into work around lunchtime, the cafeteria already filled with students and her coworkers half done with their day. She felt a dozen and one eyes on her as she walked past the aged, second-hand furniture to the seat by the window where Solas always sat.
"You're tardy, Ms. Lavellan," he teased. "Do you have a note from your parents?"
"I could text Gram-Gram if you'd like."
He set aside his sandwich. He always did that sort of thing, as if to show people they had his full attention. She usually didn't even look up from her phone unless it was serious. Which this was, but he didn't know that. "Did you have another appointment already?"
"Yeah. I can tell you about it later if you want to come by after school."
His eyebrows knit together at her failed attempt to sound casual. "What's wrong."
"The baby is doing okay," she assured him, resting a hand on hero abdomen. "But I need to go over some stuff with you, okay?"
"I'm in the PTA meeting this afternoon..."
"Oh, right--"
"But I can call out. Should I?"
"No, no, it's fine."
"Are you certain?" He moved as if to get up. "I'll go tell Leliana..."
"Sit. It can wait until after dinner, Solas. Besides, Vivienne will blame me--I'm already on thin ice with her for not going when I'm supposed to. I'd never hear the end of it."
~~~~~
Solas arrived at her place only minutes after the PTA meeting usually ended. She thought it would feel weird, opening the door for him after so long-- like an ex-boyfriend, maybe-- but it felt oddly un-awkward. She didn't make an excuse or apologize for the state of her home, either; he know why it was a mess.
All her life she'd heard pregnant women complain about being tired, but she'd never really understood. It was different than 'tired' from a lack of sleep, or 'exhaustion' from physical exertion, or 'lethargy' that kept one from doing basic tasks. It was bone-deep and presumably unaffected by the caffeine she wasn't allowed to have anyway.
Now that she was in her second trimester it wasn't quite as bad, but she still couldn't bring herself to do even half the bare minimum chores. She ate only because the baby needed her to. Too bad the baby didn't care if she got her laundry done. She moved some of it aside to clear a spot on the couch to sit. It was already covered in cat hair.
"What did your OBGYN tell you?" he asked, getting right to the point. He managed to find a spot as well, gingerly setting her knitting needles and baby pink yarn aside. "We were just there last week."
"My appointment wasn't with my OB. It was with a cardiologist."
"Alright, what did your cardiologist say? Is the pregnancy too taxing?"
"It wasn't my cardiologist." She wasn't trying to be obstinate with him, for once. She just wanted to keep putting off saying the words. "It was Isla's."
He stilled. "Isla... has a pediatric cardiologist?"
She nodded, tears instantly brimming her eyes despite how hard she tried to remain calm. "They say she'll should probably be fine, but she has a hole in her heart!" she choked out. She wasn't sure he'd even heard what she said before his arms were around her, rocking her, shushing her. She needed to get it all out, though. "She'll probably grow out of it and live a normal life but only time will tell if it will get more serious than that. She might need surgery as an baby. Heart surgery, for the hole in Isla's heart..."
He pulled back without letting her go. "They said 'should probably be fine'?"
Des hesitated, trying to recall all they'd said while she had sat numbly in the hospital room, but that was more or less how they'd worded it. She nodded. "Yeah. Here." She reached over to the coffee table and flipped open the folder that had been waiting on the coffee table for him. The heading read 'VSD -- Ventricular septal defect'. "There's a bunch of info in here about it, and the notes I took. I guess it's fairly common. Once a week they'll bring me in for an NST and bimonthly ultrasounds, which is more common than usual, so they can keep an eye on it. And she'll need to be seen by the cardiologist the day she's born; he'll come to the hospital. And then we just go from there depending on how things look I guess."
"And you? How are you feeling?"
She hugged herself, huffing a sigh. "I'm fine. Sad. Scared."
He moved towards her, but she plopped the folder in his lap instead; she knew he would want to go through it, and didn't want him to feel forced to comfort her instead.
He kept a hand on her knee as he read, though, as if to keep her from moving. She allowed it only because she was feeling too lazy to get up, anyway. She settled for calling Perl over to her so she could pet her.
He was nodding when he closed the folder. "Well... It sounds like you're doing everything you can for now. There's only one copy of these, correct?"
Of course he'd want to take her paperwork home with him. "Uh, yeah, but I can bring it to work and make another..."
"No, it's okay. I can do my own research." He stood. "With any luck the hole will close before she's born."
"And without any she'll need surgery as soon as she's born..."
He caught her elbow to keep her from moving away. "It will not come to that," he said with his usual unwarranted confidence. "And... Thank you, for letting me know."
"Of course. I'm not going to keep something like that from her father."
"I know this is hard on you. You can come to me with anything you need, you know, Des. Not just with the baby."
"Sure." She starred at her feet as she led him to the front door.
She opened the door, then ended up leaning against it while he hesitated. Okay, now it was awkward. What kind of asshole dragged their feet at a time like this?
He looked like he was thinking, and she waited for him to say something... and waited...
And gave up. He clearly needed more time. "Actually, since you mentioned it... I don't have enough energy to do laundry and make myself dinner tonight, and what kind of mother goes commando while pregnant? Do you... want to order us something? Delivery? I can pay for it."
He smiled. "It's on me."
He didn't hesitate making his way back into her living room, leaving her leaning at the door still.
"Can you also clean the catbox? Lace will only do it once a week..."
For @dadrunkwriting I have another installment of the Skyhold High baby!AU, which from now on will be referred to as the Isla AU.
Solas rubbed his palms against his slacks to dry his sweaty palms, then checked the time again. It was still several minutes until Des would arrive, mother in tow. He sighed and leaned against his car.
Soon enough Des' car pulled in to the parking lot, and he jumped to attention. He could hear the two elven women arguing before they opened their doors.
"--not cut him off! My blinker was on. My lane was ending. Am I supposed to run into a wall just because some jerk didn't feel like letting me in?"
"You've lived here your whole life, you'd think you'd know the roads by now. I'll drive us home." The older woman pulled her purse over her shoulder and looked Solas up and down as he approached. Her utterly unimpressed expression was painfully familiar; what was it that Lavellan women found so wanting? "This him?"
Des looked over her shoulder. "Yeah. Solas, this is my mamae, Tamika. Mamae, this is that annoying coworker I hooked up with."
He held out his (freshly dried) palm, and shook her hand, saying, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Lavellan. How was your flight?"
"What, you stupid? My daughter just told you to call me Tamika." He froze, trapped in enemy territory and confronted by a hostile. Then she burst out with a high-pitched laugh and slapped him on the back. "Oh, now I get it, now I get why she does you like that. Bring it in Honey--my flight was lousy, thanks for asking. Don't worry about the name, my name is going to be Gram-Gram soon enough."
She pulled him into a crushing motherly--grandmotherly?--hug. It was... Nice, actually. He made a mental note to give his own mother a call soon.
"You're already a grandmae..." Des grumbled. Her brother has two sons, if he remembered correctly. He wondered if she realized how often she held a hand protectively over her stomach whenever she frowned lately.
They made their way in to the clinic. He worried he'd have to wait outside during the procedure, but the receptionist assured them that it was common for family to be present for appointments, especially for gender screenings.
They waited in uncomfortable silence in the small waiting room. Des and her mother sat beside each other, with Tamika in a corner. Solas was unsure if he was welcome to sit on Des' other side. He was never sure about much anymore, at least when it came to her.
She was prickly, and it wasn't due to her hormones. He wished he could calm her nerves, but everything he did only seemed to make it worse. He was on edge every moment it seemed, leaving him feeling as if he was dancing among landmines. It was unbecoming to compare a woman to war, and yet...
He realized she was staring at him pointedly; she didn't like that he'd chosen to stand against a wall. He found a seat across from both women, facing them.
That seemed to appease Des. "Now Mamae, remember..."
"We might not be able to find out today, I know. The baby might not be in a good position or whatever, and it would be very disappointing because I did fly all the way out here..."
"But we aren't going to blame the baby."
"The fetus is blameless, got it."
"And?"
Solas watched, amused, as she tried to remember the other instructions Des has apparently given her. "Uhh... Oh right, and we'll be just as excited if the baby is intersex as if it was a boy or girl."
"Close enough."
"Is this test advanced enough for that?"
She caught his eye and shrugged,the corner of her lip tugging up. Like him, she didn't have a clue what to expect. "And?"
"And just because the doctor tells us the gender today doesn't mean that will be what they identify as when they're old enough," Tamika recited.
Des nodded.
"... But I hope it's a girl."
Solas cleared his throat. "Are we planning on using neutral language, clothing, and the like until then?"
She made a face. "I don't think so. You know how the computer system at the school freaks out if you try to bypass the male/female field--it would be like that, multiplied exponentially. I will just have to make sure they know that I'll be there to make it right if we get it wrong today."
Solas nodded, and tampered down the image of being able to be there for his little one as they grew through the years, whatever they faced. To get to know them and learned about them as they learned about the world.
Sometime later they were escorted to a room. After Des' vitals were taken she was moved to a reclining exam chair, shirt pulled up, and belly covered in medical jelly; based on her expression it must have been cold. The tech was talking to her, asking her how she was feeling, what gender she hoped for, if she had any guesses.
And then he heard the baby's heartbeat.
Des had heard it before, alone, at a previous appointment he had not been invited to-- hearing her talk to their coworkers about it had made him more jealous than he cared to admit. The beat was fast, strong, and after the ultrasound technician showed them on the screen, he could even see it. The flicker in a jellybean-shaped splotch on the screen.
Though a chair had been provided for him, he stood to get a better view of the screen, staring dumbly at the life Deshonna was creating.
The technician took several still images, and even printed some out for them to take home. For Des to, anyway. Then said, "Well I know what it is, but I need to go get the doctor first. I'll be right back, sit tight!"
"The techs aren't allowed to tell me anything medical," Des explained as they waited.
They soon returned with the OB-GYN in tow, and they spoke to each other quietly, seemingly to agree with each other.
"Alright, last chance to keep it a secret!" the doctor said, addressing them all.
"No way am I waiting until it's born! I have onesie shopping to do!" answered Tamika. Des rolled her eyes.
"Alright, well Gram-Gram's guess was right! It's a girl!"
'Gram-Gram' shrieked and kicked her feet with excitement, and Des had a great big smile he wished she wasn't trying to smother. "You look happy," she accused him.
A girl. It changed nothing, and yet she was right. "I am."
"Huh. I figured you'd be disappointed. You seem like the type of guy that would want a Solas Jr. to carry on his 'legacy'."
He resisted the urge to sigh. "You don't know me as well as you think you do," he told her, not for the first time.
She looked thoughtful, until her doctor cut in and asked, "Do you have a name picked out?"
He started to shake his head--they'd only just learned the gender, after all--but she answered immediately. "Isla."
Tamika cooed at the name approvingly. Solas kept his face carefully neutral. A lovely name. Another decision he'd been left out of.
Isla...
He didn't hesitate to leave when the doctor asked to speak with Des alone.
He leaned against the wall in the waiting room that she has forbidden him to stand near before. He was annoyed. He was overjoyed. He was drained. He was looking forward to going home after this. He held back a sigh when Tamika decided she had to come speak at him as they waited.
"So," she said, standing a bit too close, "When are you going to propose to my daughter?"
Solas choked, snorting at Tamika's attempt at humor. "That's a bit old fashioned," he said, just to say something.
But she wasn't laughing. She crossed her arms and waited.
"I... It is not as though she would have me."
"Mhm. We'll see."
"Mrs-- Tamika, I assure you that you daughter has been very clear on the matter of her and I. It is not a subject for debate."
"Mhm," she repeated.
Solas scowled and remained silent this time. This appointment would be over soon enough.
"She hasn't chosen a last name yet."
"Hmm?" He had to shake himself from his thoughts to focus on what she'd said.
"Des. She was talking to be about it, before. She's thinking about giving Isla your last name, but she's not sure about it yet. I'm not supposed to say anything."
Oh.
"Uh... Thank you for telling me."
"There's a lot that Des isn't sure about, these days," she continued as if he hadn't spoken. "Not yet."
Solas was still staring at her when Des walked out into the waiting room.
She looked pale. Pensive. How long had she been in there?
"Dahlen, is something wrong?" her mother asked.
"No, it's... Everything is fine, the baby is fine." Des didn't look at Solas as she passed him, but heard her mumble to herself, "Isla is going to be fine."
I’ve been irrationally emotional lately, so it seems like a good time for more Des/Solas Pregnancy!AU!
@dadrunkwriting
"I trust everything went well at your appointment yesterday."
Solas' terse voice from the doorway grated on Des' nerves. She did not need every coworker in the teacher's lounge to know her business! It was just Sera at the moment, but he still had no right.
"If there was anything you needed to know, I'd tell you," she snipped, adding sugar to her Styrofoam cup. She ignored Sera glancing up eagerly from her sketchpad.
Solas sighed deeply, like some poor put-upon asshole. "I would like it if you told me anything at all. I'll be lucky if you text me when you learn the gender at this rate. For all I know our baby could have six limbs--"
"My baby."
Solas scowled at Des, undeterred by the way Sera put down her pencils completely. "That is what I said."
"No, you said ‘our’. It's my baby."
"Must you nitpick at every trivial--"
"Yes. Because you don't seem to understand how this works! I will tell you whe--"
"Is that coffee?" he interrupted, incredulous. "You can't have caffeine! Your doctor should have told you that!" He reach as if to take it away from her.
As if to take it away from her.
She snatched it away, so furious that she was on her feet before she realized it. Coffee scalded her hand. "Don't you dare tell me what I can and cannot do, asshole!" she shouted, loud enough that Sera jumped. "Of course my doctor gave me instructions, and I've done my own research besides. I can take care of myself, and I can take care of my baby by myself."
There was a pause, and Des tried to quell the adrenaline shaking in her hands before she really lost it.
Solas seemed to finally realize he was treading on dangerous territory. His shoulders sagged. "Of course. I am sorry for overstepping, Des. I am merely concerned about the two of you," he said calmly. And if he'd left it at that she might have gone ahead and given in, telling him about yesterday's uneventful appointment. But then the fucking asshole muttered under his breath, "Though I don't know how I can be expected to know what your doctor says when you've never so much as told me their name..."
"Oh I'm sorry, did you want to come to my next appointment with me?" He started to agree to her sarcastic question, but she wasn't done. "I know! We can make each other our emergency contacts. Maybe even get on the same insurance! Do you want me to come hold your hand the next time you're bending over for a prostate exam?!"
He just stood there under her verbal assault, mouth slightly agape, looking lost.
Des made a loud frustrated noise and tossed her coffee into the sink, cup and all--she'd lost her appetite. She stomped out the door, slamming it open so hard it bounced off the wall and would have hit her if she hadn't caught it and pushed it open again. She made her way down the halls, ignoring the stares from students and staff alike. She really couldn't find it in her to give a damn if they fired her for misconduct at this point; at least she wouldn't have to see her one-night-stand-gone-wrong every. damn. day.
She exited a side door. Teenagers smoking stolen cigarettes scattered at the sight of an authority figure, and she felt resentment bubble up. It was stupid, but she resented them for their freedom. To run. To be young. To smoke. She didn't want to smoke, never had, but that wasn't the point.
She sighed, deeply, several time, and leaned against the rough brick wall. She put her arms up around her head to block the light.
What was wrong with her?
She stayed that way for several moments. She started to feel cold, but stayed where she was; soon the bell would ring and she would have to return, but she wouldn't go back one minute before she had to.
Then he showed up. At least he'd given her a few minutes of reprieve before following her with his stupid, careful, rational words.
"I know this situation isn't what either of us wanted--"
"We were actively trying to prevent it."
He nodded. "But I cannot say that I'm disappointed that it happened. I want to make the best of this."
"That's the problem..." She sighed into the brick. She was calm enough now to regret what must be said to him. She turned to face him. "I don't want to get stuck with you, Solas"
She waited for his sharp inhale. She watched as he crossed his arms behind him and straightened to full height. His voice was steady, if sullen. "You said I could be involved."
This time she nodded. "And you can, with the baby. But not with me. I don't want to be trapped in some loveless marriage 'for the kids', thinking that it's fine to settle for convenience, it could be worse. I want real, true love, and I'd rather be alone than accept anything less. I don't--"
"I get it, Deshonna."
"We get along okay, but that's different than spending a life time together. Or trying to, and then failing, and hating each other, and the kid has to deal with that. I'd rather be... Friends." She wanted him to understand that it wasn't personal--she wasn't trying to insult him. "Does that make sense?"
"It hardly matters what I think. You've already made the decision for us both."
She sighed. She keep trying to meet his eye, but he was staring resolutely into the distance. "You'll thank me for the freedom one day. I can be a lot to handle."
He snorted, and she twisted her lips in amusement. "Just... Maybe if we treat this as if we were separated? Stop volunteering to help out around the house. Lace will take care of the cat box." Not that she'd asked, yet.
Solas opened his mouth as if to protest, but then closed it. When he opened it again he said, "Should be simple enough. I have enough experience with my ex-wife."
"You’ve been married? I never knew that."
He finally looked at her, his smile tight. "There is a lot you don't know about me."
"Oh? Do you already have any kids?"
"No. We tried, but..." He shrugged, and turned to leave, story unfinished.
She stopped him. "Wait. Um... Do you want to come to my next appointment? I'm supposed to find out the gender."
She had his attention. "Really? So soon?"
"Yeah, twelve weeks, that's the normal time. I, uh. I wasn't going to say anything until after, but only because my mom is flying down to go to the appointment with me. You know how excited she is. And I thought it might be awkward to be like..."
"You don't have to invite me if you are uncomfortable with it."
"No, it's fine. Mom has to meet the coworker-baby-daddy some time, right? I mean it. You're going to be around in the baby's life, she's going to be around in the baby's life, come watch the ultrasound tech play spot-the-genitals."
He nodded, and reached for the door. "Thank you. Deshonna, I--" They both winced as the electronic bell rang shrilly directly above them. He opened the door. "After you."
