Boundaries
One of the most important things To learn in life is the importance of boundaries. Boundaries are limits that are set in order to keep people healthy and safe. Children and adults need boundaries and limits to function well and eliminate anxiety. Families with poor boundaries ( the children run the house, for example) often face behavioral and emotional problems that can carry through to future generations. Helping families create an appropriate chain of command is one of the goals in family therapy. There is a natural chain of command, or hierarchy, in all areas of our society ( school, work, etc) and if parents do not model their home this way, children often struggle to function in society. Parents need to be in charge and on the same team, with children being kept out of adult matters as much as possible. Regardless of whether parents are together, there needs to be a strong alliance as parents for children to feel safe and function well. Boundaries also aid in self care. Knowing your limits with other people and successfully sticking to them aids in avoiding feeling overwhelmed and emotionally drained. This means knowing when to say "no" and when to stop over functioning. Having boundaries means not micromanaging others and allowing people to learn how to take care of themselves and their problems. Having boundaries is making sure you are supportive to others you care about without consistently sacrificing your own emotional well being. Here are some questions to consider:
1. Are you setting boundaries enough in your life?
2. What do the boundaries look like in your family?
3. Do you know how to set limits?
4. What emotions do you experience when you attempt to set boundaries?
5. What is challenging about setting boundaries?
