12/03/2015
during varsity, the song, “i surrender” by Hillsong was played by the worship team. and i knew i asked God, to help me surrender all the things i hold dear to my life. All kinds of desires of this world i asked him to take it away from me, to help me part with all these things. So many things come in the way of knowing my Jesus and having quiet time with Him or just doing the work of the Lord. Many things come in the way. i asked Him in prayer through the song, to grace me, to test me, to bring me through it. I wonder, how many people, are truly aware of what this song calls for. It is very difficult, for the Lord to have His way in us. I am witness and i have experienced God taking away a lot of the unnecessary and opening my eyes to the things that distract me from doing kingdom work. These three months, in retrospect, i see God carving away at my heart, cutting away all the unnecessary in my life, all that greed, all the pride, all the self-consciousness, all the time for my own self, all the love for money, comfort. Looking back and now, i see moments of my hurt and difficulty but i am glad God was there to carry me out of it, i am joyful to see that He is actually taking away things that actually burden me. In fact, God was sharpening my heart. how deep will people take this song, how much will they ask the Lord to help them surrender? what is it they surrender? i wonder.
What is the most extreme thing i can ask the Lord to help me surrender? the lack of faith.