#it is moi

[vasiliquemort]

Idol of my satiation, Orpheus of my vices

Found older than ancient sketch of this mien, missed him too much over the years to not actually finish it at last<з

[oopskashish]

Okay fuck it. I am doing it.

Here is my face :D

I don't know why I am carrying some books on my head but I like it.

[ohcrackerjacks]

Hello, my loves! I wanna thank you all so much for your patience and support in letting me heal and spend a bit more time in reality this past (KINDA A YEAR) looooong while, and in that, I have amazing news to share with all of you. I went to the doctor's yesterday and when they weighed me, I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because the scale said 169. I'm officially at 61 pounds lost and I've been maintaining the 170s for a few months now, so to finally see any kind of 160 is the best because I haven't seen them in over three years. I look in the mirror and I see my old overly confident and narcissistic self again. I finally feel like me again, just a little thicccccccccccccccccccccc-er. When I was skinny, I thought that was the body I was meant to be in. But, now I think THIS is the body for me. I like having and overly exaggerated hourglass figure, while I do wish I could get my chest down a cup-size or so and lifted for health reasons as the bras I HAVE to wear really affect my fibro myalgia, not to mention the back pain of lugging these things around, in appearance...I couldn't be happier. When my body changed for the worse, I wanted to hide. I used to ALWAYS wear the tightest clothing to show off my body (and if ur an og u remember that), but the moment I realized how I looked, I wanted to do nothing but hide it all. And now? I'm in crop tops and tight dresses that feel so right and so good. This is the me I missed. Instead of being the assertive person I had always been, when I went into hiding my body, I also hid my personality and let others lead me because I had no confidence to do anything, especially by myself. But, at long last, I don't mind attention. I don't mind talking with people, or speaking up, or acting like myself. I'm finally back to being who I've been always been. If I could stop losing weight right this moment, I'd be happy with that. This is the body I'm meant to have, and accepting that was the last big leap I needed to finally love myself again.

[aoixe]

hello do i look a year older

[catee]

/// ❄ It was a cute idea !!! ❄

[ohcrackerjacks]

Hey, guys!! Left the house for the first time in over a month on Tuesday and...I felt amazing? A LOT of you have been here since I actually started using Tumblr and I couldn't be more grateful to those of you that have been here from the start and also everyone that's still here despite my absence this past year. I cry constantly because I still get some amazing messages from you guys checking in on me and know you care means the entire world to me. For those of you have have been here for at least the past three years, you know what it was like for me when I began gaining weight like crazy and you know before that I wore NOTHING but tight clothes to show off my figure and my confidence was actually anchored in my 36" 30" 36" body measurements. But, even when I was that tiny I was self-conscious about my stomach. It was flat, but when I would sit and hunch even a little but I'd have a little "pooch" that would show and I hated it. I prided myself in my flat stomach that I didn't even have to work to get or keep because no one around me had that. So, when I gained wait...honestly it killed me inside, because with my stomach, where the "pooch" would show up when I was thin...was the most prominent area on my front torso to gain weight. And now when I look down, even having lost about 40+ pounds in the past 6 or 7 months (which this past June I was nearly 230 pounds) I can't see at least the top half of my legs when I look down. To celebrate losing all of that weight and the actual dip in my waist returning, I bought myself two shapers from Shapermint, a shapers panty and a shaper short and when they got here I tried them on and broke down because I looked down and I could see the entirety of my legs. For the first time in about 3 years: That stomach wasn't there.

This is my first time wearing shape hugging clothing in so long that didn't flare out around the mid/lower waist area to hide my stomach "pooch". I wore this dress out on Tuesday (it's the "Jacklyn Off Shoulder Dress" from Fashion Nova in the shade 'Oatmeal' and I'm literally buying three more colors) and I felt beautiful. I felt sexy. I felt like myself. Hell, I even have a pair of high waist jeans that look amazing on me and actually fit comfortably and I've purchased crop some crop tops as well. I can't wait to hopefully continue to make progress on becoming myself again and I'm going to be getting an all new hairstyle for the first time in LITERALLY a decade (I was 13 when I first got my current hairstyle). As cliche as it is : New Year. New Me.

Laura Lee Los Angeles "Nudie Patootie'" palette

Dose of Colors Cream Matte Liners in 'Shady' and 'Laid Back'

Land of Lashes in 'Miami'

ColourPop x Becky G Ultra Matte Liquid Lip in 'Besame'

[ohcrackerjacks]

My absolute FAVORITE look to date. I have no idea why this is so good but it was like??? I made NO makeup plans at all and had 30 minutes to get ready: shadow, brows, liner, AND lashes and somehow I pulled it off and I used only the ColourPop Brown Sugar Bae Collection!

Products:

ColourPop Brown Sugar palette, Creme Gel Liner in 'Stew', and Lux Lip in 'Butter'

Featherella Lashes in 'Angel'