Oct 15, 2017
sincerest apologies to anyone who goes onto my blog and expects order, i am a chaotic being who changes their mind every day and my blog theme changes daily as a reminder to ya’ll to b e a f r a i d
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sincerest apologies to anyone who goes onto my blog and expects order, i am a chaotic being who changes their mind every day and my blog theme changes daily as a reminder to ya’ll to b e a f r a i d
batsunleashed it’s u
i dont care im countin it
YOU ARE NOW TALKING TO A RANDOM FUCKASS. SAY SOMETHING, ASSHOLE!
▼: I need advice.
▲: LAY YOUR PROBLEM ON ME LIKE A WAVE ON THE SAND, LALONDE.
▼: Okay, so, I know you are interested in romance and all, and you've seen just about every shitty troll love movie out there, so I'll just ask; how should I approach Kanaya?
▲: WELL, THERE'S A DAME WHO'S BASICALLY COLLAPSING ON YOUR SHOES AS IT IS. YOU DON'T REALLY NEED TO APPROACH HER AT ALL.
▲: WELL, I GUESS YOU HYPOTHETICALLY DO.
▲: ANYWAY.
▼: Spare me the horrible metaphors, please.
▲: I'M PRETTY SURE ALL YOU REALLY NEED TO DO IS TO WALK UP TO HER, DO WHATEVER IT IS YOU DO TO MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE WHEN YOU TWO ARE CHILLING, AND JUST SAY "SUP KANAYA, I'M HOT, YOU'RE HOT, YOU WANNA GO INTO THE OTHER ROOM AND MAKE OUT A LITTLE?"
▲: BOOM, DONE.
▼: Wow. That is certainly a more straightforward approach...
▲: TROLLS ARE NOT A SUBTLE RACE, ROSE.
▼: Well,
▲: UNLESS, OF COURSE, SHE THINKS YOU'RE SETTING HER UP, IN WHICH CASE YOU MAY NEED TO BE SLIGHTLY MORE DELICATE ABOUT IT.
▼: Do you really think she wold accept my offer?
▼: would*
▲: HOW COULD SHE NOT?
▲: LOOK AT YOURSELF IN A MIRROR, MAN.
▲: AND THEN HOLD A CONVERSATION WITH YOURSELF.
▲: THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING TO NOT LIKE.
▼: Are there even any mirrors on this rock?
▲: CERTAINLY NOT IN MY ROOM.
▲: BUT THEN, I'M A HIDEOUS FREAK OF NATURE.
▼: Oh, don't say that.
▲: YOU'RE LIKE A GODDESS KICKED HER WAY INTO A MODEL AND STARTED GLOWING OUT THE MOUTH.
▼: That...
▼: Makes no sense, but okay.
▲: IT MAKES EVERY KIND OF SENSE, SHUT UP.
▼: I suppose this would be an okay time to ask another thing I've been wondering about,
▲: SHOOT.
▼: What are trolls sex organs like?
▲: UH.
▲: AWESOME?
▲: I DUNNO, WHAT ARE HUMAN SEX ORGANS LIKE?
▼: Ehm, well, do you want the short description or the long description?
▲: HERE'S THE THING, LALONDE: I'M NOT ACTUALLY ALL THAT INVESTED IN HUMAN SEX ORGANS.
▲: I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF THEY IN ANY WAY DIFFERENTIATE FROM TROLL SEX ORGANS.
▼: Well, basically human males have penises which are pretty much flabby things that fill up with blood and become erect when they are aroused, and females have sacks of fat and tissue called breasts and vaginas which I guess are a bit harder to explain,
▲: WELL, I KIND OF KNEW WHAT BREASTS WERE, SINCE KANAYA MENTIONED THOSE ALL GREEN-FACED.
▲: BUT UH
▲: TROLL GENITALIA ISN'T REALLY LIKE THAT.
▲: I MEAN, THERE ISN'T A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE GENITALIA WITH FEMALES AND MALES.
▲: ANYWAY, IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THAT BADLY, IT'S NOT LIKE KANAYA WOULDN'T
▲: YOU KNOW
▲: SHOW YOU.
▲: IF YOU WANTED.