#it'sbeensolong

[writings-and-stuff]

Help !

Hey, I wanna start writing again, so if anyone has any requests, now would be an amazing time ! 

[askpmandco-blog]

What's the knife for? Did you comit any crimes with it?!

*Hiding from the truth, as always*

[saturn-rowlf-old]

BLACK GUITAR

BLUE (legato) I can’t help my heart. I want to be a star. I don’t want the help. I want a blue guitar.

I want to have it near me. I want to hear its song. I want to write a story, With a blue guitar.

But I don’t trust my judgement. Or my star-crossed eyes. It’s a foolish pipedream I will never find.

RED (expressive) But I can’t help my heart. It’s lusting for a start. It scans the soupy sunset For a red guitar.

Never have I ever Wrote a story that I liked, Never have I ever finished.

Destiny is poetry That we never get to write. Will my words diminish?

Will I be forgotten Or will I be remembered? Just for a moment Or for forever?

YELLOW (staccato) So make tomorrow lighting yellow. O startle me, defibrillator. Change my habits, make me strong. And turn the aux cord speaker on.

Just take my dreams and make them true. Cos I don’t believe in any hue.

THE CAULDRON (swelling, powerful) Yellow. Red. Blue. I don’t know what to do. Yellow. Blue. Red. Please forget the things I said.

Just make it red or make it green. Make it blue or in between. Make it black or make it white. If it’s mine, then it’s alright.

THE DARKNESS (sweet, sorrowful) When a boy is scared He hides it from the world. To the point it hurts Just because of a girl.

He looks into the stars, To his constellation heroes. There are helicopters and guitars. They’re just normal people.

The world begins to swim with the wells of my emotions. And they begin to spill: A witch’s cauldron ocean.

THE MIRAGE (shocked, awake) A white guitar: a knight’s protection from insecurity and rejection. Plastic sheen. Plastic shell. The dreams I dream, the lies I tell.

I’ve made a song that’s uglier than my thoughts. The stranglehold of a dark backdrop. Let the whiplash shred like Munch’s trembling Scream. A black guitar in the pitch of my dreams.

BLACK HAIR. BRIGHT EYES. I love the way your jacket smells, I love the way you feel. I love the way you laugh. I love to have you near.

Black hair. Bright eyes. They never leave my mind.

This was never about guitars. I want to have you in my arms. This was never about guitars. I want to have you in my arms.

I don’t want a band. I want to hold your hand. I don’t want a band. I want to hold your hand.

I never really thought I’d play— it’s too cliché and I’m too gay. I’d rather make you laugh. I will always take the chance.

I don’t what to do. I don’t want to trust you. I tell the thoughts to go. But then I just love you more.

I want to say it’s gone. Instead I sing a song. I want to hold your hand. But I don’t think I can.

(But if I only could… I’d feel less electric blue.)

ELECTRIC BLUE (passionate) Make it silver, make it pink. Will you please go out with me? Make it turquoise, make it peach. This afternoon or in two weeks.

Time is hot and time is cold. But with you it’s always gold. Time is orange, time is brown. I’m lost inside Picasso town.

I can’t help it. Time will tell. If we get together. Or ne’er do well.

[part-wisdom-part-personality]

One Year Later, Lessons of Time

Time has gone. It has passed forever. One year since my last post on PWPP. Many incredible events have taken place over the course of the past year. How can I possibly write it all in one post? Seeing as it’s not possible, I will give a snapshot, and certainly leave out those anecdotes which seem irrelevant.

Summer of 2015 ended well. My consulting club team ended up creating a comprehensive plan which covered most of the necessary details for the year. We ended up firing one of our directors, who royally screwed up by missing important deadlines, and failed to meet expectations. This person fought us with verbal violence, but through patience and much discussion, we were able to appease her wrath.

During the year, we marketed the club fiercely, and were able to bring membership up over 20% from the previous year. We ran four events, all of which ran during the first year of the club, and all of which we achieved record attendance. Notably, attendees gave fantastic ratings to each of these events. Our department was indeed proud of our work among our peers.

In ending the year, we passed the flame on to a brand new team of senior executives, who in turn were able to hire on their own handful of execs.

That’s the team. Now on to my own personal experience. This past year was hell. I mean that in both a very good and horrible way. I started dating one of my VPs last summer, and am coming up on our one year anniversary. This was hidden from the team for the entire first semester, along with both of our friends. It was a huge struggle for both of us to remain professional with the organization, on track with our studies, and devoted to one another. My grades dropped drastically. I was stressed beyond belief, and took up regular smoking. Combine that with a lack of sleep, adderall, and poor nutrition. I was unhealthy, to say the least. On the positive side, I was in love. My association was also a wonderful experience in leadership, public speaking, networking, organizing, and far more. I was also able to establish connections with dozens of consultants. This past year was totally worth it.

After school, I immediately fled the country. I went to South America with a few friends, and partied all my worries away. Literally. I had no worries by the end of the trip. I got back home, and out of nowhere developed an abscess on my behind. Miserable experience. I stayed at my parents’ place (did I already mention I moved out last summer?) over the next six weeks to recover. During this time, I applied for jobs. Many jobs. This is something I had started doing back in October, and had no luck other than a few interviews. In the end, I had applied to 52 places, was provided three interviews, and received no job. I called a consultancy which I connected with and previously applied to, and convinced them to give me a shot. That was in June, and to date I have worked on three distinctly unique projects. My boss is even planning to provide me with side projects throughout the school year.

That’s a very, very brief history of my life over the past year. I had many fights with many people, mended relationships, lost friends and contacts, recovered a few of them. I nearly lost my girlfriend due to stress between us and everything we were involved with. What have I learned?

I have spent the summer trying to discover what I have learned. For a while, at least May, June, and part of July, I honestly thought I wasted a year of my life for nothing other than some stupid title to place on my resume and a bit of experience. Now, I feel like I have much more to gain as I think back. First of all, I made three massive mistakes right before the start of the school year. I decided I would no longer keep a daily schedule, I would stop working out, and I would eat less quality and quantity of food. I was an idiot, a total fool. Why the hell would anyone in their right mind drop every successful habit they have during the most critical period for these habits to be held onto? It didn’t make sense. Somehow, in my contorted mind, I convinced myself this would benefit me. I can assure you a thousand times over, it pretty well ruined my life. This past summer I have been rebuilding all three of these habits, which has been insanely difficult to do. Oh! The stupidity of man. But at least I made this mistake early, and am learning the hard way from it.

I got into a car accident two weeks ago and wrecked my car. It’s gone. I don’t have collision so it looks like I’m walking to the grocery store, and school. Never been a better time to get into shape though! Life is truly a gift. I have had so many ridiculous circumstances over the past year, I can’t even count them. I have never had such an opportunity to learn. I keep reflecting and realizing more and more the ways in which I could have led the team better, handled my relationship better, kept school at the forefront of my mind, and of course focus on my own personal needs. I’m growing up. I’m not just becoming a professional in business. I’m becoming an adult. Finally.

[guhbabbyy]

FUCK

I need to have sex

[aguerrillam]

Hanyauku

Afraid to take their socks off. Wary of running too fast, or too hard. A fear of heat. Of burning.  you told them how the sand feels in between your toes, they told you the pain of hot sand and the expressions of new lovers that gift fantasies to those who will never know them.

"it will heal in time".

they only know time immortalized as scar tissue and calluses On their burnt feet.

[th-n-ghtm-n]

i'unno if i should continue this story or not...

[carliemarie]

I'm so excited...

…because I can take a nap tomorrow.