Part Wisdom, Part Personality

As a kid, I had multiple businesses: I cut lawns, gave back massages to older siblings, shoveled driveways, and tried to sell pets. I started working for my family's business at 15, as a bookkeeper. After 5 years, I was promoted to accounting manager. Three years later, and now I'm a second year business and environmental management student. I'm also President of a student-run business association. I do everything I can to gain new experience. This allows me to grow. Part of my own growth is helping others grow. I believe in doing everything possible to gain wisdom. But along with wisdom, a little bit of spice is necessary. We need to have our own twist. I do my best to blend wisdom with personality.

[part-wisdom-part-personality]

Strength Derived From Knowledge

I’m noticing that I’ve become stronger. I started out in this role with plenty of enthusiasm, and that left me when things went from amazing to less than acceptable.

Part of the reason is that I put so much focus on what was occurring in the present, yet ignoring the future’s limited interest in it. The future, and thus periods of time where goals should be met by, is only affected by the cumulative decisions and actions we take between right now and then. How many decisions and actions to we make and take over a one year period? The answer is shocking. According to psychologists, we are said to make 35,000+ decisions every day. That’s nearly 13 million decisions in a year. 

Incredible. We have 13 million chances to screw up-or wildly succeed. In an optimistic sense, we have 13 million opportunities to achieve more than we ever thought possible.

No human is perfect. No human has ever made 13 million correct decisions. Many billionaires claim that they make more mistakes than not. Which means for most people, the decisions they get right pale in comparison to the decisions they get wrong.

The point of all of this is that I’ve realized that I’m going to make mistakes, things are not always going to go the way I hoped, but I literally have millions of opportunities in 2019 to do more than any other person on this planet. I just need to make good decisions today, and better ones tomorrow. In time, my decision making ability will improve drastically. With that will come unprecedented levels of success. And that knowledge is giving me newfound strength.

[part-wisdom-part-personality]

Why is Everything Stuck? Break it Down.

I’m in the midst of a personal dry spell. Not surprisingly, my team is stuck as well. Which came first, the chicken or...? Did they both happen to stagnate simultaneously, with zero correlation? Is some outside factor hindering progress?

The first question we should be asking, of course, is whether it matters how this type of scenario, and especially the specific situation at hand, come about. Yes, it absolutely matters. Why? If the HOW can be determined, then foresight of the outcome develops. This means that the situation may not be inevitable if the correct intervention is used. But what if the problem is caused entirely by outside forces, and no possible course of action could help avoid it? That shouldn’t matter, as: 1. that is highly unlikely, and 2. if there is a chance that there IS a good way to avoid the issue, then you should avoid it or you’re a fool.

Okay, it matters. Now what? First me. Why might I be in a dry spell? Maybe because I have an interest in grad school (JD or MBA). That could be draining some of my focus and passion. Maybe because I’m discouraged by the lack of movement with my team. Maybe because I’ve worked too hard and I’m burning out. Maybe because I don’t know if I want to stay at this company because I’m frustrated with management in other departments. One thing is clear from this, I have many reasons, like anyone in my situation would, to feel discouraged and dispassionate.

Now my team. Why might they be discouraged? Too much competition. Bad time of the year. Lack of coordination between departments, resulting in people dropping the ball. Once again, clear reasons why, just like anyone in their situation, they would feel down.

Now we can look for correlations and unrelated issues. Unrelated for me: grad school interest. Unrelated for team: nothing. Related: the lack of movement on my team pairs with too much competition and the time of year; my burn out and frustration with other departments’ management pairs with the lack of coordination between departments.

So in reality, there are two outside factors: competition and the season. Nothing can be done about that. The inside factor: poor management. The unrelated personal factor: grad school.

Let’s tackle the unrelated factor first. If the team was crushing it, the company was flying, management was 5 stars and doing everything perfectly, the season was right and the competition was doing VERY poorly relative to us, would the fact that I am considering grad school matter? Not at all. It would probably turn into a side thought, I mean, who cares about an MBA if the business you help manage is accelerating rapidly? Nobody. I’d be stupid to leave for an MBA. What about my JD? Would I be more fulfilled going to law school for the next three years and possibly hating it and not even practicing, or running a company? I’d rather run a company. So truthfully, we can conclude that the personal factor is an excuse.

Now the outside factors. Seasons and competition threats both come and go, as long as we are in business. So should they get me or my team down? NO! But they do. I need to remind myself and my team regularly that the season will pass, or that we’ll figure out a way to overcome the competition.

The inside factor, poor management, can change a lot for both me and my team. I can’t force others to change, but I can influence them. That’s my only choice. I have to influence them. I can’t give up. IF I can break through to them and get them to change how they operate then everything will change.

In conclusion, grad school is an excuse. Seasons and competition is something you have to stay strong through. Management has to be influenced. So I need to influence myself to stay strong through tough times, influence my team to stay strong through tough times, and influence management to change. Influence.

[part-wisdom-part-personality]

2019: Wholeness

While at work yesterday, I was thinking hard as to what my theme for 2019 might be. You see, I have a theme every year, as opposed to goals, which guides my overall actions vs. specifics that I need to achieve. Of course, I have goals which spring out of these themes, but I feel that it is necessary to have context with which to build those goals in a way that is congruent. Bringing it back to this year’s theme, the word wholeness came to mind.

Why wholeness exactly? First of all, I feel that an inadequate amount of my time is dedicated to personal health, including physical, emotional, and spiritual. Physically, I’ve been neglecting my usual time spent at the gym. Emotionally, I am not spending enough casual time with friends or family. Spiritually, I lack consistency in daily meditation and mindfulness. Secondly, I am brushing aside basic care of my personal environment. This includes laundry, organizing my drawers, closet, and desk, cleaning my bathroom, sorting and filing paperwork. On the work side of things, I have an overall plan and things are going quite well, but my mind seems foggy due to clutter. Moreover, I’m completely unsure of whether I will pursue a graduate degree or not.

According to Oxford’s definition, wholeness means: (1) the state of forming a complete and harmonious whole; unity; (2) the state of being unbroken or undamaged; (3) good physical or mental health. Compare what I wrote about my life in the previous paragraph with this definition. Wholeness, therefore, wouldn’t be an accurate or truthful way to describe my life. I want to change that in 2019.

If you’re reading this and have any wisdom on this point, have a new years resolution of your own that you’d like to share, or simply want to comment, please do so!

[part-wisdom-part-personality]

Persistence

I’m struggling. Struggling to keep working. Writing. Improving. Work has seemed to hit a point of stagnation. I’m at a point where I routinely feel I’d be better off in a role where I am properly mentored, given assignments that contribute to the success of an already wildly successful enterprise, and gain further traction in my career than I currently do. I feel a fantastic mental paradox, which is quite painful. I’m not sure if this is due to the intense environment in which we compete. Possibly, it’s simply that I’m growing tired of the grind. Vacation? Would that actually fix anything? Maybe. But we’re also slowing down growth-wise, and some days it seems we are actually moving backwards, not progressing.

I joined this startup because I saw tremendous potential in it. I still see that potential. In fact, I see more potential than ever before. I constantly have ideas. The issue is that we lack leadership at the top...you could say that we lack funding to support various departments in expanding and achieving their own as well as company objectives. However, in no way is that the ultimate failure. Financing is an issue that practically every company faces. So what’s the problem? We don’t shift funds where they need to be shifted. We don’t cut programs that need to be cut. We keep unnecessary manpower in overstaffed work flows, instead of re-purposing them in alternative roles, or refocusing them on vital projects. Leadership. I don’t think we can assign the fault to anyone else.

I’ve worked hard (in fact, I put more energy here than anywhere else lately) to push our dept. heads and even company head to up their game. There’s been change, and some growth. But we’re at the foot of the mountain. The journey is going to be long, and incredibly hard. My hope is that it will be worth it. At the same time, I will not invest my effort when others are unwilling to do the same.

I’m going to give this another year. If things have improved drastically, I will stay. I’m not talking about 2000% growth. I’m talking about realistic changes that are stored in the potential of this company - potential that has yet to be unlocked. I need to see some change! I need a sign... If not, off to business/law school for me.

[part-wisdom-part-personality]

Consistency

Immediately following my prior post, I made a monthly calendar reminder: write. I simply have not been consistent. 

Since childhood, I have semi-semi-regularly journaled. What do I mean by the redundant “semi”? I wrote from time to time, but not always. I’ve had gaps. At times lasting for years. So in that sense, I have maintained some consistency. And truthfully, there were times when I had more dedication and willpower to put pen to paper - and at those times I actually used pen and paper - than I currently do.

That said, I almost didn’t write tonight. The thoughts passed through my mind more than once. Despite this temptation to lounge on a Sunday, all day, with little to show for my time, I’m writing.

Over the past month, I’ve read two books: Stuff I Wish I Knew Earlier and The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. The later inspired me to at last put my money to work for me, investing in index funds. Moreover, the book helped me to permanently memorize all 22 of the Canadian Prime Ministers - in less than an hour. The Five Dysfunctions of a Team has cast light on many of the issues that the company I currently work for is experiencing.

Ultimately, the most significant problem we have comes down to one thing: lack of setting goals for EVERY department, and holding each department head accountable. Our leadership has been laissez-faire for so long, this mindset has been embedded into the heart of the company’s culture. Lately, I’ve been feeling more and more uneasy about what has been going on, and I know that I must put an end to it. I started by pushing one of the heads to take steps towards developing his team earlier this week. I’m also challenging every other leader to rethink the way they run their departments. It’s caused quite a few sparks so far, but I don’t plan on backing down anytime soon. It’s sad to see so much potential lost to such a great bunch of hardworking, smart people.

I’m determined. I am committing myself here and now to develop my team - including our manager, the president. It will be tough, but I will persevere. I will consistently push the envelope month over month.

This blog is my accountability. I don’t have any at work, so this is it. Do or die.

[part-wisdom-part-personality]

Two Years of Striking Memories

It’s been practically two years since my last post. Naturally, I have a novel of what seems to have been some of the more exuberant years of my life passed on by. I will spare you the excruciating details.

I tried for that last girl I mentioned. Failed again.

I almost immediately started dating a friend of my other roommate. My roommate became vehemently jealous that she got me and he didn’t: he is gay. I’m still dating her today, but alas, he is no longer a part of our lives; at his own choosing.

My debate team did well, coming in the top 3/12 teams. I also successfully completed my education in December of last year. That last semester was a cinch. I’m not even joking.

I’ve been working since January in a sales capacity, first as a rep and currently as a manager. Quite the turn from management consulting, but I’ve found a joy I never knew I would feel in such an occupation. It’s a wonderful feeling seeing the numbers increase as the result of hard work. Obviously, this ties back into my love for stirring things up, making them better, and better, then leaving on to the next big project.

And so, what next? If you’ve been paying attention to my writings, you’d notice that I already told you in the last sentence of the last paragraph. I plan to remain in my current function for another 1-2 years, drive up revenue, and then quit. What will I quit into? Grad school. Or management consulting. Or another role in my current company (marketing perhaps?). I’m not too set on one thing or another. I’ve experienced too many times now that THINGS CHANGE.

And they always will.

[part-wisdom-part-personality]

Life Gets Better

Since my last post, a few significant changes have occurred. Most crucially, I broke up with my girlfriend. This was the fourth week of August, two days after we came home from a weekend trip together. Unfortunately, she didn’t take it too well, calling my phone 200 times during the first week in which I ended the relationship. This excludes messages I received from her over various forms of social media, as well as contact made with my friends. I managed to stay strong throughout, and am much the better for it. I quit smoking (however I do occasionally indulge socially), something I routinely did when I was around her. Also, my grades have improved astronomically. While not entirely my ex girlfriend’s fault, she did in fact distract me from my studies, causing fights for no apparent reason the very night before my exams (this happened more than once). Over this past semester, I have also grown quite intimate with two of my roommates. This is a new aspect of student life for me, as one of them seemed as nothing more than an acquaintance the previous academic year, while the other is new to our house. I have also had opportunity to establish a handful of new friendships, mostly in my classes, albeit one in an entirely different academic discipline. Moreover, I have been able to invest greater amounts of energy building stronger ties with my family and current set of friends. Now, all of this may sound trivial, but alas it is a joy which I knew not the year preceding the current one. Time, along with the mental and emotional requirements of school, my association, and my girlfriend made the pursuit of other relations practically impossible.

One last note to be made, is that I nearly dated two lovely ladies. The first, a classmate of one of my roommates, was a charming and fun girl. We had dinner once, along with a few coffee dates. Nonetheless, I felt it to be a pointless endeavor. She plans to make it big in the movie industry. With my ideal of working in management consulting, the likelihood of the two of us having time for one another upon graduation is slim at best. I therefore ended it. The second girl, a beautiful, hilarious, smart, and fun person whom I know through my program. We ended up studying together for several weeks, having lunch and dinner regularly. I have had a major crush on her for a solid three months, which I told her right before Christmas break. It turns out my luck has seen me crying in front of a woman I had just confessed my feelings towards, who unexpectedly had no intention of returning them. It was quite possibly the most awkward moment of my adult life. And yet, I’m still alive. Miraculous!

I went on a ski trip right afterwards, strictly for the purpose of washing my broken-hearted tears away with snow and alcohol. Not actually, but I did go on such a trip. Two of my brothers and a few friends happened to have the same idea as me, and we all wound up in the same cottage. Hut tub in the dead of winter. Skiing. Beer and whiskey. It was a glorious four days.

Damn, I still have more to say. I’ll make it quick, I need to get some reading done. First, I have several job prospects coming my way, which I should find out about within the next month. Secondly, I am now a representative on my department’s debate team, which will compete in my school’s interdepartmental debate league. Fun times ahead.

[part-wisdom-part-personality]

One Year Later, Lessons of Time

Time has gone. It has passed forever. One year since my last post on PWPP. Many incredible events have taken place over the course of the past year. How can I possibly write it all in one post? Seeing as it’s not possible, I will give a snapshot, and certainly leave out those anecdotes which seem irrelevant.

Summer of 2015 ended well. My consulting club team ended up creating a comprehensive plan which covered most of the necessary details for the year. We ended up firing one of our directors, who royally screwed up by missing important deadlines, and failed to meet expectations. This person fought us with verbal violence, but through patience and much discussion, we were able to appease her wrath.

During the year, we marketed the club fiercely, and were able to bring membership up over 20% from the previous year. We ran four events, all of which ran during the first year of the club, and all of which we achieved record attendance. Notably, attendees gave fantastic ratings to each of these events. Our department was indeed proud of our work among our peers.

In ending the year, we passed the flame on to a brand new team of senior executives, who in turn were able to hire on their own handful of execs.

That’s the team. Now on to my own personal experience. This past year was hell. I mean that in both a very good and horrible way. I started dating one of my VPs last summer, and am coming up on our one year anniversary. This was hidden from the team for the entire first semester, along with both of our friends. It was a huge struggle for both of us to remain professional with the organization, on track with our studies, and devoted to one another. My grades dropped drastically. I was stressed beyond belief, and took up regular smoking. Combine that with a lack of sleep, adderall, and poor nutrition. I was unhealthy, to say the least. On the positive side, I was in love. My association was also a wonderful experience in leadership, public speaking, networking, organizing, and far more. I was also able to establish connections with dozens of consultants. This past year was totally worth it.

After school, I immediately fled the country. I went to South America with a few friends, and partied all my worries away. Literally. I had no worries by the end of the trip. I got back home, and out of nowhere developed an abscess on my behind. Miserable experience. I stayed at my parents’ place (did I already mention I moved out last summer?) over the next six weeks to recover. During this time, I applied for jobs. Many jobs. This is something I had started doing back in October, and had no luck other than a few interviews. In the end, I had applied to 52 places, was provided three interviews, and received no job. I called a consultancy which I connected with and previously applied to, and convinced them to give me a shot. That was in June, and to date I have worked on three distinctly unique projects. My boss is even planning to provide me with side projects throughout the school year.

That’s a very, very brief history of my life over the past year. I had many fights with many people, mended relationships, lost friends and contacts, recovered a few of them. I nearly lost my girlfriend due to stress between us and everything we were involved with. What have I learned?

I have spent the summer trying to discover what I have learned. For a while, at least May, June, and part of July, I honestly thought I wasted a year of my life for nothing other than some stupid title to place on my resume and a bit of experience. Now, I feel like I have much more to gain as I think back. First of all, I made three massive mistakes right before the start of the school year. I decided I would no longer keep a daily schedule, I would stop working out, and I would eat less quality and quantity of food. I was an idiot, a total fool. Why the hell would anyone in their right mind drop every successful habit they have during the most critical period for these habits to be held onto? It didn’t make sense. Somehow, in my contorted mind, I convinced myself this would benefit me. I can assure you a thousand times over, it pretty well ruined my life. This past summer I have been rebuilding all three of these habits, which has been insanely difficult to do. Oh! The stupidity of man. But at least I made this mistake early, and am learning the hard way from it.

I got into a car accident two weeks ago and wrecked my car. It’s gone. I don’t have collision so it looks like I’m walking to the grocery store, and school. Never been a better time to get into shape though! Life is truly a gift. I have had so many ridiculous circumstances over the past year, I can’t even count them. I have never had such an opportunity to learn. I keep reflecting and realizing more and more the ways in which I could have led the team better, handled my relationship better, kept school at the forefront of my mind, and of course focus on my own personal needs. I’m growing up. I’m not just becoming a professional in business. I’m becoming an adult. Finally.

[part-wisdom-part-personality]

The Busy Life

Another busy week, come and gone. More experiences, lessons, skills, friendships.

Brief disruptive update: I never did get the marketing position at the startup. Also, I did not get accepted to the highly intense consulting training course I applied to. But that’s okay. I attempted, and know in the deepest parts of my soul that I didn’t miss the opportunity of a lifetime.

I’ve connected with two past acquaintances who now work in management consulting. I’ll be meeting with them soon, and will attempt to learn all I can from their first-hand knowledge of how the industry works. Along the way, I’ll hopefully find the best contact at each of their firms to establish a relationship for my student association.

I have now met with Presidents and VPs from three other school clubs and societies. Each of the organizations and people running them are extremely diverse. I’m learning an astounding amount about leadership, training, planning, organizing, creativity and teamwork.

My association is a wonderful experience as well. There are plenty of bright minds, and some amazing progress towards our goals is being made on a daily basis.

I’m now working in a customer retention position at my family’s company. The great thing about it is that I’m learning to persuade and think quickly on my feet in one of the most intense ways possible: we are about to lose a customer, and if I screw up, we certainly lose them. Loving it so far.

And that’s a very, very, simplified story of my week.

[part-wisdom-part-personality]

Just Try, Because, Why Not?

I often used to think, why try? Go for things that are within reach. I’m wasting my time and others’ if I apply for this or that.

I was wrong. At least, that’s what I now believe.

Ever since quitting my job in August 2014 to attend university full-time, my mindset has changed. Before that, I had to be 100% sure before I undertook anything unfamiliar. That’s called fear of failure.

I made decent money, had a stable job, and (some) opportunity for growth. But I quit anyway. Why? Because I realized something: I could be intermediate my whole life and remain in a stable job working for my family (which, by the way, is impossible to say whether is stable or not - we don’t know the future), or I could educate myself.

And I chose education. Not that salary, saving, career, stability and all are not important. But for me personally, learning is even more important.

Would you guess what happened? My beliefs of myself and others have changed. I’ve made countless contacts. Many incredible friends. I’ve learned about a broad variety of subjects already. I had to learn to navigate all of the administration at university (which in itself can be quite intimidating). I have a flexible schedule vs. rigid (as in, I sleep in the afternoon on a school couch and study at 4 am). I’ve asked out two girls. One said yes, then ditched me. The other was half dating me, half dating someone else who happened to be my friend. I’ve become more humble, and realized how many smart people are out there (many smarter than me). I’ve learned to encourage friends who are not doing as well in their studies as they had hoped, and also that some just need to figure it out on their own. I’ve had drama. I’ve been exhausted from studying. I competed in a case competition and lost, but learned 10 or 12 things I can use in my professional life. Now I’m the leader of a business association, and am planning for the next year with my exec team.

All this and more. Needless to say, university has had an incredible impact on me. All because I decided to try, even despite the possibility of getting my degree and remaining unemployed. So far, no regrets.

Towards the end of the second semester, a girl from one of my classes saw and informed me of an association that is hiring executives. She told me to apply, and I said ok. But never planned to - I assumed I wouldn’t get it. She saw me again two days before the deadline, and told me again to apply. I did, for a VP position. Had an interview. Ended up with President instead of VP. I tried, and I’m glad I did.

Recently, my older brother told me of his friend who has a startup, and is looking for a marketing/sales guy. I contacted the guy, and we had a phone interview. He’s put off meeting up with me a second time, and I assume I didn’t get it. But no regrets. What if I didn’t try, someone else did, and then the startup became a billion dollar company? I’d hate myself.

One of my execs mentioned an intense and highly selective training course for students wanting to go into management consulting. I’m in first year, but I applied anyway. It’s been a week, and I haven’t heard back. I have no idea if I’ll get it. It’s meant for 3rd and 4th years, and I’m only in 2nd year. But I applied anyway. Just in case.

This mindset has changed my life in 10 months. I feel free. No opportunities missed, nothing to cry about. Just try.

[part-wisdom-part-personality]

How to Blog?

So, I’ve never blogged before. Ever. I’m stupidly excited. It’s been a craving of mine for some time now, but I never took the time to just do it. Now I’m doing it.

Why do I want to blog? Many reasons. I enjoy journaling and reflecting. This is for me. I enjoy sharing the stupid things I’ve done (and the few right things) so others can learn. This is for you.

I plan to blog on my childhood, work, family, friends, relationships, school, and... whatever else. Maybe book reviews. Random thoughts. Ideas.

I sincerely hope you laugh. At me. I also hope you learn a thing or two. That would make me laugh. Someone like me can’t teach anyone anything. Won’t this be ironic?

Stay tuned. Into the radio. A really good song’s about to come on.