A mixed bag
Today I am 29 weeks! Strangers are starting to now notice I'm pregnant and asking when I'm due and sharing their children's birth stories with me, which depending on the person, can be kinda annoying/awkward. It also can be awkward when people ask if this is your first baby. Of course it is but I always want to say and our only. There will be no other pregnancy or baby. It's still sad to me that we lost what could of been our girl. And now as I write this I cry. When I talk to colleagues at work, they have no clue what it took to have this child. I miss being around my old colleagues and friends who know how much work it took to become pregnant. And now, I see Facebook friends who are due around my same time starting to have baby showers. I will not be having an baby shower. At first it didn't bother me, but now as I see pictures of others showers, it is starting to bother me. I wish I could have a big party where friends and family could come celebrate this miracle baby with us. It's hard living so far away from family and also being new in a town with no friends. One girl whom I met at orientation and have gotten together with a few times did offer to throw me a shower. But I told her, who would come? I have a few people that I'm getting to know through work and that's pretty much it. It's hard when you don't work often to even develop tight friendships at work. I'm really trying to work on developing a little network of support people but it's slow going. I joined a FB moms group but I need to connect with new moms who have babies due around our same time. Anyway, I will end my sad little post here. I'm really not that sad though. I'm excited for our little guy to be born in the next 2 months or so. Counting the days down until we see his sweet little face!