maybe i WILL do what everyones been telling me and take up a career in drawing. ever since i started i had NEVER wanted to gain money from my work.
part of this was because:
a) my artwork is not of any actual talent and value for people to waste their money on.
b) i only draw for the feeling of pleasure, because when i draw i have a purpose. everything around me fades into the music i gain inspiration from and i just know that everything will be okay in the end.
c) i am afraid. im scared of what people will think of my work. criticism and hating on my work are both two very different things i have experienced, i have learned from.
and when i show others my art, and they say that i am talented or i should take it up as a career, i feel insulted because that is not what i want. i never wanted to show you my art. i wanted to be greedy and keep it to myself because of my fears.
so maybe as i get older i WILL understand paint and charcoal. i will understand oils and pastels. i will understand shading and proportions and digital art.
but for right now i am doing all this for me. and i dont want to change that.