This...this is me.
Is it okay to be afraid of something failing? Is it okay to stay when you know that you shouldn’t? Is it fear that drove me to fall so deeply for someone so similar to the first? What is it?
How do you move on from heartbreak after heartbreak? How do you let yourself be happy? Do you drink to numb the pain? Does your foundation cover the bruises? Is it pills that you need? Is it money? Is it love?
The questions keep building up but I’m afraid to answer any. I fought for so long to bring myself out of darkness and I thought you were my torch. But you burned me, badly. Leaving marks all over my body. I needed you to be stronger than who you are, but is it fair to ask so much of someone to change who they are?
I’ve asked that once before and was met with the greatest pain of shattering my own heart..... I’m so afraid. This is me. This is my life... to break and burn and fear, and I’ve known no other. I’ve asked god to protect me... but can I say he still will after I’ve defied him so much?
What makes a man? What makes me? I cannot hold on to myself as I let go of the ropes that once lifted me up. It’s as if someone poured hot oil and watches me as I attempt to wriggle upward.
This is me. Why, why will no one save me?
