King of the Hill
Part 3
By this point in our “relationship” we were about 17 days in! I know… kind of a big deal, right? He had left the day before and I was back at work. I had received my “Good morning beautiful” text and was feeling pretty darn good about our possibilities. I mean nothing could stop us now!
HA HA HA
He reminded me in the beginning of the week that we were both off the following Monday for a Holiday! Of course, I got super excited thinking “YAY, more time with my man!” We worked out the details over the next couple of days and agreed he was going to come back to my house for the weekend. This time he planned on coming Saturday evening and staying till Monday evening. At this point… I am back to full blown, “he’s perfect and can do no wrong” phase, so the lingering financial and DF issues I had previous, were long gone in that moment. All I could see were hearts.
Yes- This happens to the best of us. Nothing to be ashamed of ladies. I like to call it our obliviously smitten moments/phases. You know that moment we are planning our wedding with a man we don’t even know the middle name of yet. Speaking of… I don’t recall ever getting his. Hmm… Either way, sometimes we tend to think with our hearts and not those incredibly useful and intelligent brains of ours.
This was one of my moments.
Anyways, Wednesday came along and we are on our nightly 3-hour chat. Mid conversation he starts talking about the new Avengers movie. He is just dying to see it! He goes on and on about how his favorite character is Iron Man.
Now as he is talking about his love for Iron Man as a grown ass man, something hits me like a solid wood table leg to the little toe. The entire time we had been hanging out I had noticed his Douche Flute looked familiar. It was red and looked like it was a little man wearing a suit with gold markings and even had lines across the front, almost like a 6 pack.
It was in this moment I realized that his damn Douche Flute was in fact, the shape of Iron Man himself. (See below)
Yes ladies- I snagged myself a real winner! (Eye Roll)
Now I have already seen this movie with my kids but because us women have to compromise at times, I say, “Well hey, why don’t I get tickets for the movie this weekend and you can pay me back when you get here.”
(Like how I made sure to point out he was in fact paying this time.)
I only thought I was one upping him!
He had pure joy in his voice. It was like a young boy and his first time “reading” a Playboy. Just bliss. He replies, “Yeah babe that sounds great…and after we can go to that burger joint you have been telling me about.”
We have a plan!
The next day as I am driving home I give him a call. He seems frustrated and stressed to say the least. I (being the comforting person I am….HAHA) ask what is wrong with him. He proceeds to tell me something came up and he had some unexpected expenses come out he wasn’t expecting.
Now in this moment I am thinking to myself “Yeah you and me both.” However, I politely say “Well if things are tight right now you don’t have to come up this weekend, we can always reschedule, and I am completely okay with that. I understand things happen.”
This was his shot! This was his chance to do the right thing but instead…
He replies “No babe, I am coming to see you. Money is tight this weekend, but it will work itself out.”
Boy was he right, little did I know he meant for himself.
The next day I decide to make a grocery list. I figured if I plan things right that weekend, it would be less stress on both of us financially. So, I make a meal schedule for the days he will be in town and go shopping. I made it a point to cover dinners, lunches and breakfast so he wasn’t in that awkward position where he had to take me out with money he did not have.
Pretty damn spectacular of me if I do say so myself!
Later that evening I told him what I had got and what the plan was. He seemed grateful and excited for me to cook for him!
Things were coming into place.
IT’S TIME! The weekend was upon us and he was on his way! I am cleaning and getting all pretty for him and anxiously awaiting his arrival. He calls me when he is only a short distance from my house and ask’s, “What’s for dinner? How about when I get there we head into town and grab something.”
Confusion. That is what I was feeling in that moment. Just confusion. Maybe his broke and my broke are two different things. I know when I say I am broke.. that means I got 4 pennies in my wallet and maybe another 6 in the floor board of my car, and that is it! Broke is broke people!
I go with it however and ask what he was in the mood for. He throws around some ideas and lands on pizza. Now in the moment it didn’t hit me at how convenient this was for him. ME order pizza, ME pay for that pizza and HIM just walk into another free dinner. So due to my obliviously smitten phase I was still in, I agreed. I got his order, hung up and immediately start ordering this man’s dinner.
He FINALLY arrives. As I am hugging up on him… all is right in the world again.
Ding dong. Pizza has arrived.
We cuddle on the couch eating our “free to some” dinner and start to watch a movie.
The next morning the sun is out, and the birds are chirping. At this point in the morning I already know I have food to make for breakfast, so I start getting around and head to the kitchen to start cooking. He plops down on the couch and says, “You want to head into town for breakfast?”
Um… I sure as hell don’t!!!!!!!! “No baby, remember, I bought stuff to cook breakfast for you.”
Now I wish you guys could have seen his face at this point. It was like realizing you could never eat your favorite candy bar again. He looked completely unsatisfied and distraught at the thought we weren’t going out to eat and were staying in.
Either way, he was not going to put another dent in my wallet this weekend.
HAHA Or at least I thought.
I ignore his ridiculous face and start making breakfast. Besides his constant schooling me on how to properly make bacon (because you know it’s SOOOOO hard to fry up some bacon) I was having a fairly good morning.
The rest of the morning we took it easy, ate breakfast, watched some TV and just enjoyed each other’s company.
But then…
He gets up and goes and grabs his keys. At this point I am just watching… waiting to see what happens. He goes out to his car and brings back in a cooler. And I don’t mean a small cooler. I mean a, have to carry with two hands, cooler. He sits it on the counter and pulls out a beer.
Yes ladies and gents, that’t right. I said a beer, at 10:30 in the morning.
(Stay tuned for the finale next week!)













