ex for a reason : 31 which future doctor is the most guilty
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𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾𝗌𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺𝖾 : who’s words hurt jakey the most is it a) riku who started it, b) yujin who brought sunghoon up, c) sunoo who participated or is this all jayhoon’s fault for trying to find jake a rebound (everyone but jake is wrong btw)
ex for a reason : 29 dog with social anxiety and a broken heart
𝘄𝗰 𝟣.𝟣𝟦𝟧
“you like him so much.” yujin’s voice cut through, startling you in the process. your head shot up instantly by the sudden claim, only to find her, riku and sunoo staring at you with a knowing grin.
“much more than sunghoon.” sunoo added, pushing his notebook aside to give you his full attention. “you’ve been smiling this whole time, the equations can’t be that funny.”
there was no use trying to prove them wrong when you could physically feel the way your lips were stuck in a smile.
“stop, before he comes back and hears.” you said, rolling your eyes and attempting to bring your focus back to your laptop. their unwavering stares didn’t falter as you expected, instead landing heavier now that you were aware of it.
your phone screen lit up, stealing your attention away. a short, simple text from jake read: went to another restroom, this one was locked.
you didn’t register the audible sound you let out until you looked back up, seeing the three of them exchange a look of pure amusement. “don’t even—” you tried to protest.
“and to think you were convinced you didn’t like him.” yujin shook her head disapprovingly, contrasting the way her face beamed.
“you know why i did that.” you huffed.
jake, who had finished his business with haste, took quick, eager strides back towards the library with nothing but you on his mind.
there was a warmth blossoming in the pits of his stomach, his heart rate far beyond what was considered normal—beating in a way a friend’s heart shouldn’t.
but you weren’t exactly a friend, were you?
before his breakup, jake used to be a very hopeful guy. there was a version of him that took every good thing placed in his path at face value without overthinking whether it was too good to be true.
his ex made him wonder exactly that. had he been blinded by his own love to not see that everything wasn’t rose tinted?
then you walked into his path effortlessly, overwhelming him with your sudden interest in him. a feeling that had become foreign.
although a little skeptical at first, jake fell for you, even if everything in him told him not to.
it was inevitable that he would. you were there every single day, breaking down the walls he had put up, proving that maybe he had been silly for thinking care was something to be earned—not when you gave it to him so freely as though no one deserved it more than he did.
so he dared. dared to let his guard down around you. dared to let you overwhelm him in various ways. dared to believe that perhaps, he was worthy of love. yours, specifically.
jake thinks he’s never felt his heart tighten this much before at the simple thought of a girl. he was so in love with you, the feelings were ready to burst out of him.
he rounded the corner of the library, his feet mindlessly carrying him towards you.
the incoherent voices he heard from the distance started to grow clearer the closer he got. it was undoubtedly yours, followed by a string of laughter from the others. jake found himself smiling too.
“isn’t it kinda funny, though.” riku suddenly chortled. you all turned to face him, waiting for him to elaborate. “this whole jake thing, how you never intended for this to happen.”
“i honestly can’t believe how close they are.” sunoo followed.
“jake was supposed to be your ticket to getting with sunghoon!” yujin chimed in, her voice laced with disbelief. “how did you get sidetracked so badly?”
“i don’t know, okay? sunghoon was.. it just happened.” you sighed softly, though the faint smile on your face proved you to be very content with the predicament you found yourself in.
you felt your heart warm thinking about it, unaware of jake stood meters away, covered by the rows of books.
jake has gone through heartbreak before. he knew the feeling that followed after someone who once occupied space in his tender heart left him feeling unwanted.
this feeling that suddenly washed over him, however, ached far worse than anything he had felt before.
it was numb at first, the words not registering fully before he felt his stomach drop abruptly, feeling hollow and empty. his heart, previously thumping erratically, quickened for an entirely different reason now. he felt his whole body tingle, alternating between burning and that same numbness he felt at first, followed by the painful sensation of a cold bucket of water being dumped over him.
jake presumed he’d be immune to another heartbreak. that nothing could be worse than what his ex left him as.
this time, he didn’t feel his heart break—he felt it shatter into millions of pieces. a feeling close to getting it ripped out in a swift motion, leaving him bare and exposed, slowly dying in the palm of your hand.
sunghoon, you said. the name alone felt like a stab to his body. and a sudden realisation dawned upon him.
jake wanted to let out a laugh, a recap of every single time you seemed eerily interested in his best friend flashing through his mind. he should’ve known. he did know, deep down.
because jake was a cautious person, someone who stopped taking any sign of affection at face value—conditioned to fear that there had to be ulterior motives behind them.
and you proved his fears right, albeit not with jay, as he was fixated on, but with sunghoon.
he felt sick even thinking about how long you had been orchestrating this. were any of your words ever genuine? had you been plotting on him way before his breakup? did you specifically wait for his moment of vulnerability, ready to strike when he was an easy target?
his head started hurting, not more than his chest, but enough for him to rest his body against the bookshelves and stay there for what felt like eternity. you had fallen into silence, the only audible noise being the tapping of your keyboard, and jake’s ragged breathing.
he wasn’t sure what to do anymore. going back there and pretending he never heard any of this was impossible. jake sighed, pushing himself off the shelf and trying his best to compose a neutral expression before finally stepping within the group’s line of sight.
“you took forever.” you joked, and it made jake’s heart cave in even more. he wanted to break down right then and there. he felt so weak around you. even after you tore his heart out. especially after you did.
instead of sitting down like you expected, jake spared you a brief glance, too busy looking off to the side. “i think i’m gonna leave.” he murmured.
you didn’t get the chance to ask anything further. jake departed, leaving you to watch him disappear around the corner.
it was only once the fresh air from outside hit him in the face that jake finally allowed himself to let out a sniffle.
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𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾𝗌𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺𝖾 : the angst is finally here yay icl i lowkey got sad writing this im growing attached to jake in this. i honestly contemplated tagging this smau as miscommunication trope but i felt like by doing that it would downplay what jake heard because she did try and use him to get with his best friend it doesn’t matter to him that she dropped her intentions it wouldn’t stop him from thinking none of it was genuine. anyways sorry. love everyone.
jake is three hours into his stream when the front door of the apartment quietly opens and closes.
he doesn’t notice at first. he’s mid-rant about some game, headset on, eyes locked on the monitor, that easy grin on his face as he talks to chat. the camera frames him from the chest up — black hoodie, messy hair, the soft glow of the led lights behind him. thousands of people are watching.
you drop your bag by the door and pad down the hallway in socks. the door to his streaming room is cracked open. you peek in.
he’s focused. completely in the zone. one hand on the mouse, the other occasionally lifting his energy drink. chat is flying by on the second monitor. he laughs at something someone typed and leans closer to the mic.
“chat, i swear if one more of you tells me to touch grass—”
you slip inside without a sound and gently shut the door behind you. the click is soft enough that the mic doesn’t pick it up. jake still hasn’t noticed.
you stand there for a second, just watching him. the way his throat moves when he swallows. the way his fingers flex on the mouse. he’s so deep in the stream he doesn’t even hear you cross the room.
you drop to your knees beside his chair.
jake glances down out of pure reflex — and freezes.
his eyes go wide. his mouth opens. for a split second pure panic flashes across his face before he forces his expression back to neutral, eyes snapping forward to the camera again.
you smile up at him, innocent as anything, and reach for the waistband of his sweatpants.
his voice stutters slightly on the next sentence.
“y—yeah, no, i’m fine, chat. i just… thought i saw something.”
you tug his sweatpants and boxers down just enough. his cock is already half-hard from the sudden adrenaline, and it thickens the second your fingers wrap around it. jake’s free hand grips the edge of the desk so hard his knuckles turn white.
you lean in and lick a slow stripe up the underside.
his hips twitch. a sharp inhale crackles through the mic before he covers it with a cough.
“sorry, chat — drink went down the wrong pipe.”
you take him into your mouth properly, warm and wet, sinking down until your lips meet your fist. jake’s thigh tenses under your palm. he’s still trying to talk, still clicking through the game, but his voice has gone tighter, lower.
“uh-huh… yeah, i see that play. no, i’m not tilted—”
you hollow your cheeks and suck.
jake’s sentence dies in his throat. he quickly hits the push-to-talk button off for a second, drops his voice to a rough whisper only you can hear:
“baby— fuck— are you serious right now?”
you just hum around him in answer, the vibration making his stomach jump. then you start bobbing your head in slow and deep movements, one hand stroking what you can’t fit, the other resting on his thigh so you can feel every time he tenses.
he turns the mic back on, forcing a laugh that sounds almost normal.
“chat’s being weird tonight, damn. why is everyone asking if i’m okay? i’m fine. totally fine.”
a donation alert goes off. someone tips a bigger amount than usual with the message: you good, jake? you keep spacing out lol
jake’s laugh is strained. “i’m good, i promise. just focused.”
you take him deeper, nose brushing the soft fabric of his hoodie, and swallow around the head of his cock. his free hand flies to your hair, not pushing, just holding, fingers trembling.
he’s leaking on your tongue now. you can taste how worked up he is. every time chat asks a question he has to answer, his voice cracks just a little. every time you drag your tongue along the vein on the underside, his hips stutter like he wants to thrust up into your mouth but can’t without the chair moving on camera.
“yeah, no, i’m not leaving the stream early,” he says, clearly answering someone. “why would i—”
you pull off just long enough to whisper, “because you’re about to come down my throat on live.”
jake’s eyes squeeze shut for half a second. when he opens them again they’re dark, desperate, still locked on the monitor like his life depends on it.
you go back down, faster now, wetter, the slick sounds mostly drowned out by his game audio and the music he keeps playing in the background. still, every so often a filthy little noise slips out of him before he can stop it.
chat is starting to notice something’s off.
mjno1fan: jake’s face is so red lmao bro is breathing like he just ran a marathon is he okay?? someone check on him lol
jake forces another laugh, voice rough. “you guys are reading into nothing. i’m just warm. the hoodie, you know? but i'm too lazy to take it off.”
you take him all the way to the base and swallow again.
his whole body locks up.
he slams the mute button on his mic, drops his head forward, and comes with a quiet, broken groan, pulsing hot across your tongue. you stay there and take every bit of it, swallowing around him until he’s finished, thighs shaking under your hands.
when he finally mutes off and turns the mic back on, his voice is wrecked in a way he tries (and fails) to hide.
“…anyway. i think i’m gonna wrap it up soon, chat. i'm feeling kinda tired all of a sudden, must've been that soda i had earlier.”
there’s a flood of laughing emojis and suspicious messages. jake doesn’t even try to read them. he just ends the stream as quickly as he can without looking completely unhinged, waits until the “stream ended” screen pops up, then rips his headset off and looks down at you still on your knees between his legs.
you sit back on your heels, wipe the corner of your mouth with your thumb, and smile up at him like nothing happened.
jake stares at you for a long second, chest still heaving.
then he laughs, low and disbelieving, and hauls you up into his lap, kissing you hard and messy, tasting himself on your tongue.
“you’re insane,” he mutters against your mouth. “completely insane. i almost died. chat thought i was having a medical emergency.”
you loop your arms around his neck, still smiling. “you didn’t end the stream though.”
“because i couldn’t think straight enough to press the button,” he shoots back, already half-hard again against your thigh. “you’re lucky i love you.”
you kiss the corner of his mouth. “so… same time tomorrow?”
jake groans, drops his forehead to your shoulder, and starts laughing again — helpless, fond, and still a little ruined.
