kenta and itsuki are NOT safe from being lesbians btw. in fact kenta is the biggest repressed lesbian there is.
for a long time kenta didnt use the mic on her multiplayer games bc she was TIREDDDD of the misogynist comments from dudes, EVEN IF she was wiping the floor with them skill-wise. she can 360 no scope someone with her fucking eyes closed and theyd STILL be telling her to make them a sandwich. she got tired of dudes perving over her too. even tho she would trash talk right back, with twice the vitriol, she would never be taken seriously. like shes a genius hacker and consistently top of the leaderboard, but her gender always makes her Lesser Than.
i think she grows a strong distaste for men because of her experience with gamer/otaku chuds. but she STILL doesnt put together that she might be gay. she just thinks shes a textbook misandrist and does not trust the men in her life, at all.
but… she gains an interest in itsuki, who is actually so closeted and isolated that she doesnt think its even POSSIBLE for two girls to like each other. and kenta is able to finally realize that shes a lesbian, but… at what cost??? every time they hang out kenta is like “i should give it up. shes probably straight after all. she would NEVER even like me.”
kenta reads yuri manga (she DOES NOT buy it. she reads it at manga cafes or pirates it online), and starts to form a lotttt of insecurities. every day she wants to be straight just so she can be ‘normal.’ she doesnt want itsuki to know how she feels at first because she is afraid of rejection and possible disgust on itsukis part.
so, when she begins actively avoiding itsuki, itsuki gets suspicious. when itsuki gently (yet still kinda bluntly) confronts her, asking her, “did i do something to upset you?” kenta just feels like… she HAS to say it. like atp itsuki leaving her like everyone else in her life has isnt even painful, its just to be expected. kenta KNOWS shes a ‘freak.’ she KNOWS that itsuki may read her feelings as ‘unnatural’ due to how itsuki was brought up in a facility wherein there WAS NO concept of love. so… of course itd be alien to itsuki.
so kenta goes out on a limb and is like “its not you. its just my dumb feelings getting in the way…”
itsuki looks confused (not that emotion is her strong suit, but kenta can tell that she is puzzled). itsuki is like “i dont know much about complex feelings. but i can hear you out if you want. if itd make you feel better.”
kenta just breaks tf down. “why?! why do i like you?? why am i doomed to feel this way about people who will never feel the same way?! i dont get it! i just want it to make sense!!”
“…” itsuki doesnt know what to say, but she does listen, and kenta is crying. itsuki gives her thoughts. “i dont really comprehend. but ive been lonely, all my life. i found love in rokuta. she’s precious to me. but… are the feelings you have are comparable to that kind of love?” kenta looks at itsuki and itsuki looks at kenta. itsukis face is blank but her eyes are soft.
“no. you dont get it either! its… something different.”
“different how?”
“i love you like a woman should love a man.” kenta sniffles. “its not natural, right? thats what you WANT to say! if you wanna leave me, theres the fucking door… just. dont come back if you leave. if i see you, i’ll just end up wanting you more.”
something finally clicks in itsuki. “…i see. so its like that.”
“like what? MAKE SENSE, damn it.”
“you feel romantic attraction to me. i dont feel anger, or disgust, or even anxiety. i mostly feel… relieved, in a way. like its a weight off of me. i think it may be because i have a similar affliction.”
kenta is wide eyed. “…youre lying. youre lying to make me feel better.”
“i promise you i am not.” itsuki is dead serious and kenta is silent for once. “i dont think i could have ever fathomed liking anyone in that way. for a while i thought i was broken. but, i think when im with you, that feeling goes away and i dont feel like i am stunted... i like you as well.”
kenta feels itsukis pain for a second. itsuki is someone who genuinely thought she would never be normal either, because her lack of emotion made her feel like shes a robot incapable of human love. itsuki was going through the same thing as kenta, though perhaps in a different way and a different context. itsuki probably also had major trust issues due to her perfect memory capturing every moment the predominantly male researchers hurting her and rokuta. but… itsuki did not feel defined by a hatred of men, but rather her undying affection for rokuta. rokuta was itsukis greatest love, and may have reminded itsuki that she IS still capable of feeling (although with rokuta its more familial love).
kenta did not have a ‘rokuta’ in her life. she just thought that her love for itsuki wasnt right, full stop. so… hearing from itsuki that she reciprocated kentas feelings just makes kenta cry harder, realizing that itsuki is strong and cool and elegant despite being SO similar to kenta, who feels like she is none of those things.
kenta is in disbelief, and itsuki smiles, even now… kenta knows its not because she enjoys seeing kenta cry, but because they were both finally able to come to terms with themselves. kenta throws herself into itsukis arms and itsuki comforts her.
kenta and itsuki continue to talk it out, kenta admitting that she’d read yuri and think about itsuki during every scene. itsuki in turn admits with slight embarrassment that she sometimes would think about simply embracing kenta and would end up completely distracted or burning the food she had on the fire lol. so they realize their Weird Fantasies about each other WERENT weird and they in fact had very similar experiences and thoughts!!
omg
ive gone on too long but
kenta and itsuki are the lesbians of all time…
