#ivanthoughts

[caffeine-cookie]

Really badly put together ramble about all the new fucking screen time and shit Espresso got because I’m ecstatic and nobody understands me and I really want to talk about this with someone but I cant

(Rest under cut)

Espresso, although being respected as a well known scientist and researcher,, he doesn’t seem INSANELY respected. Whether its from his ‘humble beginnings’, or maybe even the that his geniuses could be being taken advantage of and being severely under appreciated. Some key points I made from this is that, 1. He used to live in poverty, he was one of the people living in the lower city. 2. His housing situation is very.. scarce, if thats the right word. 3. he’s constantly being rushed(but let me elaborate on this. 4. He’s probably being severely underpaid and being undermined.

1. his entire childhood situation is SO fucking interesting to me. Not only did I (and my best friend) have a similar thing of how he used to be like, living in poverty,, AND NOW ITS CANON. I imagine as a kid the only thing he ever wanted was to become somebody important, research about things, explore the world. Despite how he didn’t have much, he made do with what he had and studied hard, and slowly but surely made his way up into the upper part of the city like nobody else has done before. He was a kid genius, and he KNEW that he was, and he knew that he could use that to his advantage and actually accomplish his dreams. It’s also really cool that he doesn’t seem any more bothered by the ‘disgusting’ part of the city. The place people are so obviously revolted by, seen by the cutscene between the Republic citizens about the night market. He doesn’t seem like he feels any more superior of the people who live there, and he honestly just seems like he hasn’t changed very much. He’s still very kind to Seaweed, and its overall just.. really cool to see.

2. The random scene of him and his landlord going back and forth about his bills and rent was FASCINATING. Its such a random thing, but it must be some what important because Devsis added full voice acting to it. Espressos whole demeanour throughout it all appeared like he really didn’t want to be there. Sure, having your fully-paid rent raided would be absurd to anybody, but he reacted REALLY shocked. Complaining about it too, and I really think he might already be pretty tight on money in the first place. I imagine he genuinely isn’t being paid the load that most people would assume he gets from working with the Elders and being in such a high position. Like its definitely more than enough to live, but its not worth the amount of work he puts into everything. Which leads to things like his rent and bills becoming a problem occasionally,, mostly his bills but along side that, the pricing in the Republic is going up which is just going to cause more of an inconvenience to Espresso.

3. Okay this one might be a stretch, but again with the idea of him working way more than what his salary pays is fun to me. Everyone was constantly on his ass, telling him he has no time and borderline rushing his research and experiments. And they’re not wrong; obviously, he knows he has no time. But literally everyone next to him is basically saying ‘hey not to rush you, but you have like no time LOL so better chop chop lol!!!’ As if he isn’t told that constantly. And he’s not stupid, that’s probably the only thing on his mind right now. I want to think he is like kinda always in this kind of pressure. He works with unrealistic due dates and time limits, he has to pump out months of work in a matter of a few weeks. His brain is constantly gearing and turning because he can’t afford to just stop and relax, he isn’t given the option to do so. Its the ‘pressure of working with the council’. Thats what he convinces himself, but by no means is anyone else being rushed like this (maybe CLC but he has daddy issues that’s his equivalent to Espressos constantly being rushed issue). He worked so hard to fucking get in this position, going from living on the streets and eating scraps when there really wasn’t anything to eat, to now working for and with the Council. He isn’t going to stop, if the Council wants him to work this fast than so be it.

4. I think he is being severely underpaid. Just like how my best friend suggested! He isn’t AS loved, he isn’t AS popular, and he certainly is not on the same level as Madeleine. I feel like the idea of them underpaying him is interesting. Like— he’s a lot more close to the Council than any other researcher, supposedly, he has the literal SOUL JAMS in his possession right now because he’s that trusted. But the Council does not care enough to pay him the amount of what he should be paid for all his work. He does so much shit, but the Council doesn’t respect him enough to go over the top with his salary. He’s just a researcher and professor, after all.

[caffeine-cookie]

A shorter more stupider ramble about a little concept I want after I watched Day 3 of the odyssey story

Rest under cut

When I tell you I was literally screaming and crying so much in real life when this part of Day 3 dropped is an understatement.

Like okay man just go ahead and create a whole new fucking soul jam that resonated with YOUR SOUL like that no biggie mhm mhm. We’ll see you become an ancient soon yeah yeah just everyday things

I’m not really about theories so I’m just gonna like.. say shit and hope it makes sense. Like I always do except now I know that I have a lot to say at all times about him!!

The thing I’m most scared about is the fact that he’s gonna lose it a bit with the amount of power a soul jam contains. The way I imagined the entire process of converting the soul jam energy was that,, the energy that a soul jam has is sealed and kept stable inside of a receptacle, aka like the gems itself. But Espresso and the other researchers were extracting some of the energy inside of the soul jam, which left it alone in it’s purest form which is why all the receptacles they used before kept breaking. It’s too strong by itself, and needs something sturdy to keep it at bay AS WELL as something apart of somebodies soul. Hence why its like, called a soul jam.

Espresso and everyone else had mentioned so many times how powerful a soul jam really is, which is why I’m like. A bit scared for him. I never saw him as a type to chase for power, chase for an upper hand amongst other people. But with all the energy inside his soul jam, it could be enough that it could somewhat corrupt him.. like mentally?? The power could also be way too much to a point he could possibly injure himself while trying to use it.

But that is like LOWKEY KINDA WHAT I WANT BECAUSE ITD BE SOOOOO FUN TO SEE HIM SLOWLY LOSE IT AND GET CONSUMED IN ALL THE POWER. This is probably the highest point his job has ever gone up to. Again, bouncing back to an earlier post, I REALLY think the Council doesn’t take Espresso as seriously. Classism is obviously like an actual thing in the Republic, and it’s already been made known that Espresso spent the majority of his childhood in the lower city of the Republic. He probably worked his ass off to get to where he is now, but even then the Council just won’t realise the amount of potential Espresso has if they’d just give him a chance.

Sure, he’s been probably been proven to be an extremely successful scientist and researcher for the Republic. But even then his past just continues to play into how others view him, like how having been in the lower city just makes you less eligible than anybody else.

So back to the main point, I want him to get consumed in the power of the soul jam. He’s so sick and tired of nobody respecting him like everyone else. He’s seen as less than his colleagues, he’s heard others say he’s just a street rat that got lucky because he just so happened to have the brains when he was born in that dump. All of his colleagues never took him seriously, the COUNCIL didn’t take him seriously. He works his ass off day and night, trying to prove that he can be MORE than just ‘some researcher’. But the Council just takes that effort and still proceeds to severely underpay him.

He’s exhausted of this kind of treatment. He knows he can be better than everyone else, actually, he IS better than everyone else, no? Maybe for once, maybe for once in his fucking life everyone will realise he is worth more than they think he is.

Hope this makes sense and I’m not losing you guys

I’m gonna expand more on this later, this is SO fun to me and I have so much more shit to say.

[aireyverkhovensky]

>tfw cant keep track of all these spanish names >tfw spanish also shut up id read try if i owned an actual copy of it like i do w/ 100yrs

[bbboar]

ivanthoughts replied to your post “lol person reblogs sleazy anime gif bye bye”

ahh lmao i reblogged that, idk man i like it because of the animation i honestly watched nekomono in japanese when it came out because i dont give a shit abt whats actually happening its genuinely artistic and the aesthetics are out of this world

like... monogatari aesthetics have always been one of my major artistic inspirations

but maybe because i dont see any point in watching anime other than for the animation because 90% of anime is the stupidest trash ever and shit like free! or other kyoani crap what do you people watch it for... "character development"??

yeah sorry lmao went on a rant here

it wasnt you though.I unfollowed the person that reblogged it and from what ive seen u havent posted any monogatari stuff thats made me as uncomfortable as the post in question

the whole reason i watch anime bcs i want to watch something cute with likable characters doing things bcs it makes me feel happy.People watch anime for different reasons like i (tried to) watch kill la kill bcs i fucking love the style its animated in,but there are people that will solely watch it for the naked girls.Peoples reasons are all over the spectrum 

not everyone is looking for something meaningful and profound and thought invoking but its not often that they make anime seem like there is more into it than there really is

prime example of that for me is this post with eren getting eaten by that titan with tags like "i love eren jager bcs  even if he has his leg chopped off hes still fighting and has the emotional strength to bla bla bla " as opposed to "theey just needed him to do X thing after he was eaten by the titan so they didnt care about his injuries"

[joligarcon]

GAMAGOORI AND FEMME TRANS BOY MAKO

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP 

[aireyverkhovensky]

"What ship do you think I’m the child of?" pyotr/stavrogin because you are pyotr but with the same socially unacceptable kinks as stavrogin

wait does that make me an mpreg buttbaby. i dont want to be an mpreg buttbaby

[dads-who-buy-clothes-at-target]

ivanthoughts replied to your post “The amount of hype I have for Under the Skin is unreal. I haven’t been...”

man only god forgives is one of my favorite movies and biggest inspirations. fantastic aesthetics.... under the skin, i dont know, might be good, might be terrible, dont know if glazer is the kind of director who can pull off avant-garde

after seeing the trailer it does

[clueingforthelooks]

ivanthoughts said: whats the deal with the school finding your tumblr? are they even allowed to punish you for what happens outside of school? Apparently, because I was making reference to something that had happened in school, they're allowed to punish me. I don't want to say too much, because I'm still afraid they'll find me...somehow.