Hello, and happy holidays. :) Um, could you please write about protective Bucky and sick Tony? Like Tony is so sick that he can't move a finger and Bucky pampers him to no end.
Fever Dream
Tony is in his lab when it happens. He wakes feeling sort of dizzy and warm but he ignores it because he has things to get done. He’s determined to get something accomplished. So he drags himself to the kitchen like normal, pours himself an overly large cup of coffee and goes down to the lab ignoring the way that his body aches with each step. He’s sure that it’s just the grogginess from sleep and it’ll wear off the moment he has some caffeine in his system. He’ll be fine.
He isn’t fine. After a couple of hours of working, he feels even worse. His body can’t decide if it wants to make him feel like he’s walking in the pits of hell or if he’s trudging his way through the arctic.
“Jarvis?” he asks, hoping that he can get some answers.
“Sir, might I suggest you get some rest? Your body temperature is elevated.”
“Meaning?” Tony’s annoyed that he even has to ask. He’s normally better than this. That’s what concerns him the most so far, that he can’t even make the mental jumps needed for something so simple. How is he supposed to get any work done?
“I believe you have fallen ill.”
(Watch out for the break, mobile readers!)
Tony scoffs. He hasn’t gotten sick in years. He tries to ignore it, but ends up feeling dizzier with each passing minute. Finally, he tries to get to the couch so he can get the room to stop spinning. He’s not sure if he makes it. The last thing he remembers is Dum-E’s distressed whirring as he wheeled over to him.
-
Tony is in his bed when he wakes. He has no recollection of how he got there. He was pretty sure that he had made it to the lab last he checked.
There’s a soft knock on his door before it opens. Bucky stands in doorway, holding what looks like medicine and water.
“You’re awake,” Bucky says, although the concern is evident in his voice.
“Barely,” Tony mumbles, and then pushes off the blankets and swings his legs to the side of the bed. Apparently, that’s even too much motion for him, because his head starts pounding and the dizziness is back. He lays down, burying his face in the nearest pillow in the hopes that it’ll go away if he just doesn’t move. It helps a bit, but he still feels weak all over.
“Don’t think you should be goin’ anywhere, doll.”
Tony ignores the way that his heart stutters at the pet name. It figures that he can’t focus on anything else, can barely move, and his body still decides that it’s a good time to remind him of his growing fondness for Bucky.
“I have work to do,” Tony mumbles, looking back up at Bucky.
“You need to rest. I think your work will still be there in the morning.”
Bucky lays down the water and medicine on Tony’s bedside table and looks at him for a moment before frowning. It’s the same look that he gives Steve when he’s worried for him, which seems to be all the time. Tony’s sure that he’s imagining it because he knows that Bucky doesn’t like him nearly as much as he likes Steve.
Bucky puts a hand on his forehead and Tony tries to suppress the small groan that threatens to come out. Even that much makes him feel too hot. Bucky must be able to tell because he looks even more concerned.
“I think your fever is getting worse,” he says and then pours some of the medicine for Tony and hands it to him. “Drink this.”
Tony does as he’s told because he knows there’s no use in arguing and if there’s a chance it’ll help, it’s worth a shot. Tony tries to glare at Bucky but the medicine works quickly and glaring takes too much effort. Tony can see that Bucky looks equal parts amused and concerned as the sleepy haze of the drugs overtakes him and he drifts off.
–
When Tony wakes he feels slightly better, or at the very least everything around him has stopped spinning, and he doesn’t feel his body ache the moment that he sits up in his bed. That’s good enough for him, he’s worked under worse conditions. He tosses the sheets aside, stands up and pointedly ignores the way his body is begging him to climb back into bed and get more rest. He can rest later, he has things to finish.
He opens the door and refuses to acknowledge that it takes him more effort than normal to turn the knob and then to push it open. He’s a little winded by the time he reaches the living room but he makes his best attempt to control his breathing and not let it show that he’s having any problems with it at all. Judging by the way Bucky and Steve look at him, he doesn’t think he is succeeding.
“You should be in bed.” Bucky says looking at at him disapprovingly.
“I was in bed. Now I’m not. I think I’ve met the quota for the day.”
“You’re sick. You look like you’re having trouble just standing.”
“This is how I always stand.” Tony counters even though he can feel himself slouching more than usual, and seriously, did someone change the force of gravity today because it normally doesn’t work against him this much.
Tony is faintly aware of Steve staring at him sympathetically in the background, even though he doesn’t contribute to the conversation. He is only able to focus on Steve for a moment before the room starts spinning again and he falls forward. Bucky catches him as he begins to fall and Tony uses his hands to steady himself against him. He’s dimly aware of the feeling of Bucky’s abs beneath his shirt, and even in his sick, addled state Tony has a thought of That can’t be real.
“Is this also how you normally stand?” Bucky asks dryly.
“Yes. I often hang off you with my face in between your pecs. I don’t know how you missed that.”
Tony’s sure that gets him an eyeroll in response even though he can’t bring himself to move his head away from Bucky’s chest and look up at his face. He can’t bring himself to do much of anything at all.
It doesn’t seem to matter because in the next moment Bucky is picking him up–bridal style, much to Tony’s delight–and carrying him back to his room.
“Could you carry me to the lab instead of my room?”
“No.”
Tony sighs, but lets his head drop against Bucky’s chest again, since it’s difficult to hold it up on it’s own without something supporting it.
Tony can feel himself starting to drift off the moment that he’s in Bucky’s arms. It figures that the one time Bucky carries him he’s too delirious to even appreciate it. Tony had many theories about Bucky’s strength. Although, most of them involved Bucky picking him up for reasons much less innocent than Bucky trying to take care of him because he has a minor cold. He thinks that he would prefer any of his other reasons currently. Maybe being pinned against a wall and having Bucky hold him up will make him feel better.
He opens his eyes slightly and looks up at Bucky, who is smirking at him, and whose cheeks are tinted a little red like he’s blushing. Tony can’t figure out what would have caused that. He decides not to dwell on it and doses off again.
–
This time, when Tony wakes up, it takes him a while. His eyes feel too heavy to keep open so he tries to blink the sleep out of his eyes a few times. As he’s doing so, he notices something heavy around his waist and a body pressed against his. He blinks up at the ceiling and can definitely hear the rhythmic and steady breathing of someone beside him.
He turns his head to the side slightly and is met with Bucky’s still asleep face. His mouth is open just a little and Tony stares at his lips for longer than necessary. He wants to appreciate the fact that Bucky is in his bed and cuddling him, he really does, but his body feels like it’s on fire and that is all he can focus on at the moment. He hates being sick. He hates that he couldn’t enjoy Bucky carrying him–which he now firmly believes wasn’t a fever dream as Bucky is in his bed and he thinks that’s proof enough–and now he can’t enjoy Bucky actually being in his bed because everything in his being demands that he focuses on what he’s feeling on how to fix it instead.
Tony doesn’t know how to fix it. He has no idea how to even begin. He hasn’t been sick in years, not with an actual cold, flu, or whatever this is. He’s dealt with plenty of other things, getting the arc reactor was easier, it didn’t interrupt his life as much as this is determined to do. It also didn’t demand his attention this much.
“Go t’sleep. I can hear you thinking.” Bucky mumbles.
“I’m too hot,” Tony responds, aware of the way that his voice comes out like a whine. “Could you maybe, just, scoot over a bit. I think you’re making it worse.”
“I think me being here will help you sweat it out faster,” Bucky says and Tony thinks he feels the grip of the metal arm around his waist grow a little more firm. Honestly, if Tony was currently feeling like himself he’d probably find that a turn on. As it is, he just wants his space - he wants the blankets off of him. Why does he have so many anyway? He really wants Bucky to just move over a little so Tony’s skin can have some room to breathe. He can feel parts of his skin sticking to Bucky’s and definitely not in the sexy way.
“I’m sweating all over you,” Tony tries.
“I don’t mind,” Bucky mumbles as he closes his eyes again.
Tony watches the way Bucky’s features relax as he does. Tony is amazed that Bucky’s still there, that he’s insisting on being here with him instead of going about his day. He’s sure that Bucky and Steve must have had something planned, but Steve has not come looking for Bucky..
“Is there a reason for you being in my bed?” Tony finally asks, not that he minds. Well, he normally wouldn’t mind, but currently he doesn’t appreciate the added heat, however, he does still appreciate Bucky being in his bed.
“Yeah, didn’t want ya tryin’ to leave again.”
Tony is silent for a while. Apparently, the silence is too long because Bucky murmurs “You did y’know. Try to leave. A couple o’ times actually.”
“Is that why you’re using the arm as a makeshift prison?”
Bucky lets out a hum in confirmation and Tony sighs. He should have designed a failsafe in the arm that would react to him for situations like this. Bucky takes a moment to release his grip a bit and move his hand slightly so he can rub small calming circles on the small of Tony’s back. Which works far more easily than Tony expects, he relaxes into the touch instantly.
“This is a pretty nice fever dream,” Tony breathes out quietly as he shuts his eyes again. He may as well enjoy it while it lasts.
“I ain’t a dream, doll.”
Tony doesn’t respond to that. He doesn’t believe it. The entire day has been unbelievable and he’s having trouble sorting out the dreams from the small glimpses of consciousness that he has had. So if it’s a fever dream, it’s one that he won’t question. It’s easier to believe that Bucky would want him in his dreams.
-
The next time Tony wakes, he isn’t feeling as warm and his bed is empty aside from him. He thinks for a moment that it was just a dream afterall, but the side of the bed where Bucky, or dream Bucky, had been is still warm. Tony then realizes he can hear the shower running, although it shuts off a moment after he notices it.
Bucky opens the door to the bathroom and steps into Tony’s bedroom. Tony can’t do much but stare at him. Bucky is not wearing a shirt and drops of water are still hanging onto his body. Tony follows one that trails down Bucky’s navel and stops at the top of the sweatpants that he’s wearing. Sweatpants that Tony realizes are his. They hang low on Bucky, much lower than Tony wears them, enough that Tony can see his hipbones peeking out over the top of the waistband.
He decides that this confirms it. He is definitely dreaming.
“How are you feeling?” Bucky asks him, effectively breaking Tony out of his thoughts and forcing him to drag his eyes back up to Bucky’s face.
“Better? I think. I’m fine if I don’t move. That’s a good sign, right?”
Bucky frowns in a way that tells Tony it is definitely not a good sign. He crosses the room to come closer to Tony and takes his flesh hand and presses it to Tony’s forehead. Tony’s focus goes back to all of Bucky’s bare skin as he gets a closer look. Sure enough, it’s damp and glistening from the shower. Figures that Bucky would use his shower and Tony wouldn’t even be in there at the same time to enjoy it. He adds it onto the list of things that he expected to go differently. Most of which is from today.
“Your fever seems to have gone down.”
Tony hums. “I don’t feel as hot anymore.”
“Good. I’ll get you some more water and then you’ll need to wash up a bit.”
Tony nods.
“Think you’re able to stand?”
“I don’t know. Last time I tried it didn’t go well.”
“Just give yourself a minute to wake up and then try. I’ll go get you water while you do that.”
He leaves the room before Tony can say anything. Somehow the sweats seem to hang even lower when Tony looks at them from behind. This, he decides is actual torture. Bucky’s spending the day taking care of him, running around wearing Tony’s clothes and foregoing a shirt and Tony feels too damn weak to do anything about it. Although he’s certain that this is exactly the kind of motivation he needs to finally do something about his increasingly hopeless crush if he were feeling better.
Bucky is back quickly with a bottle of water that he insists Tony drink right away. Tony does before Bucky can go on a rant about dehydration.
“Alright, try and stand up for me, doll.”
Tony sits up and can already feel his head start to rush, he knows that he won’t be able to stand. He won’t be able to do it for long at all. He shuts his eyes as he sits to try and get the room to stop spinning. The medicine must be wearing off because it feels almost as bad as the first time and every other time that he had woken up it had been a little more manageable.
Tony lets out a whine and stands, because he refuses to be beaten by a dumb cold. He’s up for approximately 3 seconds before he collapses backwards onto the bed to sit down again.
He lays down again just to get the dizzy feeling to stop.
“Let me know when you want to try again. You can hold onto me. We just need get you washed up a little and change your sheets. It’ll help ya heal faster.”
Tony takes a while to get the spinning to stop but finally is able to sit up again. Bucky’s at his side in an instant and helps him up. He lets Tony hang off of him pathetically as he steers him to the bathroom. Tony’s too far gone to even focus on Bucky’s bare skin under his fingertips.
“You’re not going to hop in the shower with me are you?”
Bucky smirks at him, “Ask me some other time, sweetheart.” And yep, Tony’s still dreaming. “But right now, no I won’t. Just going to scrub you down a bit with a cloth.”
“You know, I always thought I’d make it until at least 80 before the sponge baths started,” Tony says, “But I did always imagine them with a sexy nurse and I suppose you fit that part of the fantasy well.”
Bucky looks like he’s holding back a laugh. “You have no idea what you’re saying right now, do you?”
“Sure I do. Just told you that you’d make a sexy nurse.”
“Right. Take off your shirt.”
“See that was part of the fantasy too.” Tony says.
Bucky smirks at him. “No, really. I need you to take your shirt off.”
“Fine. Guess we’ll match then.”
Bucky shrugs. “All of your shirts are too small for me.”
“Couldn’t go find your own shirt?” Tony says as he lets go of Bucky and the sink for a moment to slip his shirt off over his head.
“No. My room is 3 floors up and I know you well enough to know that if you woke up, you would have tried to go back down to the lab.”
Tony frowns. Bucky has a point there, but he doubts that he would have woken up anyway. Sleep is suddenly one of the most appealing things to him and Tony would kill to be able to sleep this easily the rest of the time. Tony wants to argue that he wouldn’t have snuck away, he really does but he’s too tired and he can feel himself becoming increasingly exhausted the longer that the has to hold himself up, even with the added support of the sink, so he does as Bucky asks and takes his shirt off.
He watches as Bucky wets a cloth and then brings it to start scrubbing at Tony’s back. The warmth from it and the gentle pressure that Bucky applies is strangely comforting. But the small circles that Bucky is rubbing the cloth in is having the effect of making him feel more weary and he knows that it shows in the way that he starts slouching.
“Sorry, won’t take too long. Just need you to turn around for me so I can get your front.”
Bucky’s words wash over him gently, Tony’s falling in that weird in between awake and sleep state where everything seems strangely distant, including Bucky even though Tony knows that he’s less than a foot away. Tony takes a moment to lean on the sink a little heavier than he has been, closes his eyes for a long second and then turns around quickly. The motion is too fast and he feels the dizziness rush back into his head instantly, as though it is demanding that Tony doesn’t forget its presence.
Bucky wraps an arm around him before he can fall. Uses his body to support Tony up, and Tony is very aware of all of the bare skin that is on display and now touching his. It makes him feel far too hot again, it’s too much, too close and he feels like every inch of his skin that’s touching Bucky’s is burning, but it’s a burn that starts slowly until it finally feels like a fire under his skin itching to burn it’s way out.
“I think I need to sit down,” Tony says shutting his eyes tight as though not having to see anything will help dampen the sensations that he’s currently feeling.
“Okay,” Bucky says and Tony feels him run his fingers through Tony’s hair in a way that massages his scalp just slightly. Then he picks Tony up just slightly to place him on the sink so he can sit on it instead of leaning against it the way that he had been. “How’s that?”
“Better. Doesn’t feel like I’ll fall over at anytime,” Tony says and opens his eyes slowly the dizziness having subsided enough.
Bucky nods at him and then moves in between Tony’s legs as he reaches to wet the cloth again. Tony stays silent as Bucky provides the same care to his chest. He pauses over the arc reactor, like he’s not sure if he should wash it or if water will damage it. “It’s waterproof, you can go ahead.”
Bucky looks at him for a moment like he’s trying to decide if Tony is actually okay with him touching the arc reactor at all. Tony gets it, Bucky was slow to trust when it came to his arm, but Tony has trusted Bucky for months now so he doesn’t even consider it when telling Bucky to wash it. Bucky gives a slight nod and gently washes over the arc reactor as well.
“Think you’ll be able to make it back to your bed?” Bucky asks.
Tony lets out a small mhm in agreement as he climbs down slowly and leans against Bucky for support to walk back. Bucky frowns at Tony’s bed as they walk back in and instead guides Tony to a chair nearby and helps him sit down.
“Gimme just a minute,” Bucky says as he kneels down before him so he can look up at Tony as he talks. He uses the same gentle tone that he’s been using all day, soft and calm and Tony doesn’t think he’ll ever grow tired of it. “We gotta change your sheets before you can go back to sleep, okay?”
Tony just nods. Bucky gives him a smile and squeezes Tony’s knee in a way that’s supposed to be comforting before standing back up and heading over to Tony’s bed to strip the sheets. There’s a knock on the door by the time that Bucky has managed to throw everything off of his bed. Tony stares at the door dumbly, for a moment he had forgotten that there were still other people in the tower. Had almost forgotten that a world still existed outside of his room, that not everything disappeared outside of him and Bucky. It still feels like a dream, in the sense that like a dream nothing outside of what is currently happening where Tony is seems to matter and his mind can’t even begin to process that the world outside of him has kept moving even though he has become sick. He can hear Bucky calling him dramatic in mind already so he doesn’t voice the thought.
Instead he watches as Bucky answers the door, murmurs a thanks to whoever it is, Tony can’t really hear, but he assumes it’s Steve–it’s always Steve.
When Bucky turns back around to him, he’s holding a tray and the smell of food hits Tony immediately. His stomach churns in a way that he can’t tell if it’s hunger or nausea but he thinks he won’t get out of eating with Bucky around anyway. Bucky places the tray on the bedside table next the chair that Tony is sitting on. It’s nothing more than a bowl of soup but Tony still has to resist scowling at it. The smell a little too overwhelming for him currently.
Bucky seems to notice since he says in a voice that’s sterner than the gentle tone that he’s been using, “You need to eat something.”
Tony sighs. “I can try.”
“All I’m askin’ of ya.” Bucky says and then goes back to making Tony’s bed.
Tony stares at the soup for a while as he picks up the spoon and stirs it, he continues doing that in slow methodical motions until it becomes something he doesn’t have to think about. Instead he watches the way that the liquid swirls and spins as he avoids eating, but he quickly picks up the spoon and puts it to his mouth as Bucky turns around and frowns at him. It’s not awful so he continues.
His bed now has new sheets and blankets on it and he’s not entirely sure where Bucky found all of that within his room but he’s too tired to question it. He continues eating as he watches Bucky cross the room to his dresser and start digging for something. He ends up pulling out a pair of sweatpants similar to the ones that he’s wearing and he lays them out on the bed.
“Done eating?”
Tony nods.
Bucky takes out pills from the medicine that he brought in earlier and hands them to Tony along with the water. Bucky watches Tony as he drinks and then stands by the chair waiting for Tony to use him as support so they can make the short distance to the bed.
“Change your pants before getting back in,” Bucky says.
“Very eager to get me out of my clothes today, aren’t you?” Tony says, half surprised that he’s coherent enough to flirt still. But he could be on his deathbed and he’d probably still be making pathetic attempts at flirting at Bucky.
“Think I’m always eager, doll. I’ll show you when you’re better.”
Tony stares up at him. “Promise?”
Bucky smiles but doesn’t confirm or deny. Instead just says, “Get your sweatpants on.”
Tony does so, using Bucky for support as he shimmies into the sweats and then trips slightly as his feet somehow get tangled with the ends of the pants and collapses onto the bed.
The moment he hits the bed he can feel his body start to melt into it. Can feel the medicine start to take a hold of him as his mind once again becomes hazy. He can’t focus on that for long because he’s suddenly overcome by how cold he is, he can feel his skin break out into goosebumps at the cool air that lightly blowing over it and Tony glares at the vent that’s directed at his bed.
He feels the bed dip next to him as Bucky climbs in again. Tony didn’t think he was going to stay. He had expected Bucky to have given up on taking care of him at this point. But Bucky’s presence is there and it’s persistent and Bucky makes himself more known as he moves closer to Tony and takes Tony into his arms. Wrapping his metal arm over the top of him and pulling Tony closer to his chest as he does. Tony can feel the contrast of the heat that Bucky’s body is giving off against his own cold skin and he feels himself lean into the embrace, the warmth welcoming him easily.
“I’m in love with you,” Tony’s not sure if it’s the medicine or the cold or the way that Bucky is again rubbing small calming circles on his back that makes him say it. He’s not even aware that he did say it. It comes out as more of a murmur than anything else and if it weren’t for the way that Bucky’s fingers lose their rhythm on his back, hitching just slightly he’d think that Bucky didn’t even hear him.
“It’s okay. I know you’re just doing this ‘cause I’m sick and it’s what you do but I thought you should know,” Tony continues when Bucky doesn’t say anything. Maybe it’s the fact that everything feels like a dream. He’s not convinced that it isn’t and it’s safe to say it if Bucky isn’t real but instead something that Tony is hallucinating from the fever. There’s no harm in telling hallucination Bucky that he’s in love with him.
Tony’s not sure if Bucky ever responds, he feels the soft press of lips against his forehead and then he lets sleep wash over him entirely.
-
Tony wakes to the sunlight shining bright on his face and demanding that he open his eyes. He regrets it instantly as the sun shines brighter the moment that he blinks the sleep away from his eyes. He shuts his eyes just as quickly and burrows further back into the warmth that he’s encased in, reveling in the comforting presence pressed against his back, the arm wrapped around him adjusts a little and holds him tighter as he shifts around.
It’s then that the memories of the previous night come pouring into his mind. He’s feeling better, he certainly doesn’t feel like he needs to sleep constantly so he’s pretty certain that he could slide out of Bucky’s grasp and avoid whatever conversation Bucky will think they need to have. Tony tries not to groan as he remembers telling Bucky that he’s in love with him. Tony wishes he would have just said a normal i love you that could have been explained a way easier, but no, the in love part makes the whole situation worse. He thinks that’ll be harder to blame away on the illness once the inevitable rejection comes along.
He squirms and tries to slide down and out under the arm but it grips his tighter as he moves and he’s absolutely stuck. He’s trapped with the increasing pounding of his heart and his growing anxiety for Bucky to wake up.
“Stop trying to escape,” Bucky says and his lips brush against the back on Tony’s neck in a way that makes his hair stand on edge and he has to repress a shudder from spreading through his body.
“Is aggressively spooning me your way of making sure I don’t run away?” Tony asks instead of acknowledging the elephant in the room.
“It’s working,” Bucky mumbles.
“Yeah well, there’s no need for it. See I’m all better so there’s no reason for you to coddle me anymore. I think if you just let me go and we can both get on with-”
“Tony-” Bucky starts but Tony keeps talking over him because he is very much not interested in what he’s going to say.
“-our lives.”
Bucky ignores him, he presses a kiss to the back on Tony’s neck and then softly says, “I was going to ask you on a date.”
Tony stays silent. He tries to process that information but a part of him is afraid that if he acknowledges it this moment will slip away from him and he’ll find that he hasn’t actually woken up yet.
“Before you told me that you’re in love with me.” Bucky ignores the whine of protest Tony makes at that and continues talking. “I was planning on asking you after you felt better. Had been working myself to it for a while and I think Steve’s tired of seeing me pine. But you’re still sick, no matter what you say, so what do you say we go on a date when you’re feeling better?”
Tony doesn’t say anything for a while. He blinks once, twice, three times just to make sure that he still is here and that Bucky is still holding him in his bed and asking him on a date.
“I normally get people into my bed after the date,” Tony says.
It’s not an answer but Bucky seems to recognize it as Tony’s way of saying yes anyway since he laughs and says, “I’ll gladly be here after the date too, doll.”
“Promise?” Tony asks feeling more like himself.
“Yeah, I promise. Now go back to sleep, you need your rest and it’s barely five.”
Tony feels Bucky shift slightly as he scoots down a little and rests his head in between Tony’s shoulder blades. Tony stays awake for a while longer and listens as Bucky’s breathing evens out. He doesn’t try to run away even though Bucky’s grasp on him has loosened to the point where his arm is carelessly thrown over him and not being used to keep him there, instead he smiles to himself and moves his hand down so he can lace his fingers together with Bucky’s as he falls back asleep.
