I don't remember a time that I was happy with how I looked. I've only ever seen a fat chic in the mirror....even when I was puking my guts out hourly to get rid of everything I ate, or when I would limit myself to eating 3 times a week, I only saw the fat girl when I looked at myself. I trained myself on how to do my daily routine without looking in a mirror, and how to take selfies without actually looking at them. Anyone who looks at a photo of me will be hard pressed to find a photo where I am looking at the camera. I know where this self hate comes from. At least part of it anyway, and even though I am told by those I love that I am pretty I don't believe. I don't think I will ever believe it....after all they have to say that. Don't they?
