São Paulo, 2016 March 30th.
I believe in my own version of Karma. I believe in something around energy. If you do something bad with conscious mind that just means your understanding of world and energy are just imbalanced and that will balance out by itself naturally. For example. If you were able to kill someone for greed or envy, somehow it will also hunt you back. These feelings and energies will result in bad fortune eventually.
That was just an introduction of what I have been feeling and stumbled upon recently.
During my depression I’ve isolated myself, I was misanthropic, I could only see flaws in people and ideas, that mixed with my anxiety overthinking everything and my self-confidence being below zero.
During that time I doubted I could connect and understand people who were far from my reality. I was so damn wrong.
Those last months have taken me from my comfort zone. And I met people with genuinely good heart, from peeps I kinda knew and actually got to know and exchange ideas and perspectives, to my girlfriend, who partnered up with me and is teaching, learning and experiencing things that just make us stronger to this journey that’s just starting for us.
She showed me her world. That was a huge immersion. I met every person who matters for her. And they smiled at and treated me as I was another projection of their stubborn, spoiled and rascal kid. That was love and I’ll talk more about it below.
I’ve spent some time thinking about how they perceive her. That was quite like my family saw me before I closed myself. And the relationship she has with her dad is similar to the ones I have with my parents. And that’s something both of us should work on.
We are in the same stage in life. We’re both independent and dependable at the same time. On the edge of the nest. We got the call and know the steps to get what we want. And we still doubt ourselves.
I’ve been surrounding myself accidentally with people I really admire. I didn’t try to impress any of them, we build up after similar and compatible understanding of life. Energy. Nothing in this world is more organic or stronger than that. And I’m glad I’ve finally got to know people like that.
That makes me feel like I’m on the right path. That makes me sure that little pessimistic mindset I had was wrong. I have partners in this journey.
This last 10-day trip was a bless. Seeing places, understanding perspectives and knowing how loving people around my girlfriend are, how important she is to them and receiving that love literally by association was humbling. I loved being received in a family with open arms, being one of them and feeling like I was a real son not a son in law by her mom.
That made me be strong to improve my own reality. I met and talked for hours with the guys from the staff, right now I’m even more enthusiastic about my project. The universe is really conspiring to get me what I want. And I’ll be humble to get every single opportunity I have. Difficulties will come. I just hope I have this positivity, my babe and all those gods with me when they happen.
