#izzy does random thoughts

[troublemakingrebel]

Henry & Hans got what Merlin & Arthur were never allowed

[troublemakingrebel]

it came to my attention that there is an alarming amount of people pulling out their hair and especially their poor bleeding hearts over the fact of Hans' arranged marriage. and while I respect and actually adore their ability to stomach broken glass and red hot nails, I also offer a completely opposite mentality as advised by a certain fellah over there:

see, him face?

the advice is as follows:

on top of that! when Hans reeeeeally doesn't want to do something, no one can force him.

"being responsible at Pirkstein? nuh, gonna go get abducted by Cumans while hunting with that blacksmith boy!"

"carrying sacks? nuh, gonna start a brawl and end up in a pillory with that blacksmith boy–"

"passageways? that my entire survival depends on? NU-UH."

look, he's already cooking:

besides! when Hans finds himself in the most desperate and hopeless neck-deep SHIT, something always happens to get him out of it (usually, it's Henry. Henry's job is to happen to Hans. yes)

camp slaughtered? Hans is not in the camp

no money, no rags? Hans steals a bow and becomes a poacher

imprisoned? Henry is working on it already

sent to the gallows? saved by von Bergow

ambushed and knocked out? Henry is there to protect him

imprisoned again?! Godwin for the rescue!

exhibit No. 1403, Hans jumping back to what he knows best right after a deadly bonk on the head:

at this point, I'm pretty sure the Great Eagles (summoned by Henry ofc) will quickly pop in to snatch him from the so much dreaded wedding

then, may I remind you whose company Hans and Henry are running in these days? do Žižka and Dry Devil look like they do weddings to forge new alliances? huh?

they do ambushes, raid Austrian borders and bring pistols to the knife fights, that's what they do! ᵃⁿᵈ ˢʰᵒᵒᵗ ᵉᵃᶜʰ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵃᶜᵉ ʷʰᶦˡᵉ ᵈʳᵘⁿᵏ ᵇᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖᵒᶦⁿᵗ⁻

finally, the argument about some real Hans (my bad, Jan) having a wife and a son hiStORicAlLy is completely invalid, because good for him, I guess, but hey, did that real Hans also have a blacksmith boy to kiss him goodnight? did he eat a demonic carrot as a child? caught an arrow with his backside? had shit spilled on his face, and noose put around his neck? exactly.

[troublemakingrebel]

listen, listen–

now that Henry has Hans and knows what it's like (arranged marriage and all), has learned the sword well, read every book and survived the war, he packs his stuff and rides back to Sasau

he kicks the door of the almost finished monastery open, he shoves away the new citrators like they don't weigh anything (he dealt with the previous ones the way they deserved back then), and he finds Brother Lucas somewhere in the garden to pull him up from his knees and tell him, "it's time to go", because he doesn't have to live in denial, doesn't have to abandon and forget who he is, hiding behind the not so almighty walls of a house of god that doesn't really care about things so minor

meanwhile Devil be like: "Henry. when I said I needed men, it was a one-time thing, Henry. 60+ game hours ago. look at him, he can't even fight. he's about to faint, Henry!"

but maybe then Henry helps Lucas make it to Kuttenberg, study with a scribe and then get into the Prague University with all that grochen sitting in Henry's pockets