Caroline returned a moment later with ceramic mugs full of black tea and a smile. They sat cross legged on the living room floor, steam drifting into their pores as they drank. The lights of the Christmas tree rotated from blue to red to green and it wasn’t until the buzz of the heater stopped and the true silence fell quickly over them, tickling the hair on their arms, that they became aware of their lack of conversation.
“I am too tired to even speak,” Caroline whispered.
“Should I go?” Josh heard himself say, immediately regretting it. He had no desire to leave the warmth of her apartment, no interest in moving farther away from her voice. Hours had passed like raindrops when he was near her, his time untraceable. She didn’t respond and he felt himself awaking, adrenaline slowly moving into his blood, did she want him to go? Was this why he had asked, to test her?
He turned his head just enough to find her eyes in the dim light and asked again, “Do you want me to leave Caroline?”
She held his eyes, thinking about the day in the leaves and how she’d been unable to look away as he let himself fall into the pile. She lifted her hand and traced her index finger slowly across his jaw line.
Josh closed his eyes and exhaled, his insides began to pulsate, his heart rushing to send blood south. He wanted to reach out and grab her, roll on top of her, push every inch of himself against her. Instead he forced his eyes to open and met her gaze.
“It is late,” she whispered, “perhaps you should just stay here.”