Planning the Hungry Hermits Au I'm writing🍉
Zed and Ren are just there being kings btw
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Planning the Hungry Hermits Au I'm writing🍉
Zed and Ren are just there being kings btw
joe trusting oli to cut his hair is still so wild to me
I picked a few of my favourite ones from my long list I hope they’re easy to read since I fixed most of them while adulting :)
Etho in his mcc charity dress getting tag teamed by Joel and Bdubs with alottt of force fem (he’s just so pretty)
Impulse edging Skizz to hell and back (those clips of him panting OMG I need him breathy and desperate)
Ren and Jimmy fauxcest can’t remember who but someone said Ren looked like he could be Jimmys dad and I need this rare pair more in my life
Gem pegging Grian to tears you seen how they were at the charity event it definitely happened (with non-sentient voyeur cardboard Mumbo cause I think it’s hilarious)
Oli and Jimmy are such brats together I need Tango or one of the dads to dom the hell out of them
I seen a post that said “Jimmy laughs like he wants to suck someones dick” it’s so true I need him to give Bdubs the most life changing sloppiest head ever
Joe Hills and Joel look like they can match each other’s freak so well I need them to be freaks together (Hermit games changed me a little)
I just know Mumbo got the worst FOMO while his friends were away I bet they all sent him photos of them fucking eachother to get off to
Cleo and Martyn need to resolve their sexual tension so bad I need them to dry hump their issues away perhaps with a little bit of femdom Cleo
I hope you enjoyed my Charity event horny thoughts!
~🫶🏻
I don't have notifications on for Tumblr so whenever I open up this account it's like a surprise. And this, my dear nonnie, is exactly what I hope to see in my Inbox.
But this is HORRIBLE! So much inspiration in one post...what will I do...oh nooo....
I'm just gonna go through them and gonna write down whatever comes to mind because that seems to be the way it always goes. I'll do individual CW's!
I'll split them up with colours so it's easier to find.
below the cut ;)
"Etho in his mcc charity dress getting tag teamed by Joel and Bdubs with alottt of force fem (he’s just so pretty)"
Tags/CW: breeding kink, forcefem, CBT, just a little bit of bickering between Joel and Bdubs, butt plugs <3 (kitty tail), pet play, the words 'sissy bitch' are used, ass referred to as pussy, cock referred to as clit, sloppy seconds, ass eating, cum eating, blowjobs
---
"Oh, what's this then?" Joel tugs on the cat tail hanging from a pretty toy plugging up Etho. The latter mewls, cock drooling into the fabric of his dress. "Didn't think you had it in you, Etho. Like, I knew you were a freak but man," Joel runs a hand down his face, "this is a whole 'nother level mate."
"Really? You really didn't expect that?" Bdubs chides, arms crossed as he looks down at his boyfriends. "If you really knew Etho you'd know he loves getting riled up while surrounded by so many people. But I guess I just know him longer than you." Bdubs huffs.
"Whatever Bdubs. I've got no time to bicker with you when I've got such a pretty kitty in front of me. She's awfully quiet don't you think?" Joel gives a harsh tug on Etho's balls to make him cry out. "Not sure why she even has these. Not like she needs 'em." He squeezes down hard on Etho's scrotum. "J-Joel--hurts..." She He whimpers. Still, he pushes into Joel's touch.
"Awh look at that, Bdubs. She's wanting more. Needs me to get rid of these useless testes." Bdubs is frozen in place. Okay, maybe he didn't know Etho as well as he thought. He knew he was into pain but this...this is new.
"You're--you're a lot of talk for someone who is also in a dress." Bdubs mumbles but walks around Etho to join Joel on the former's backside. "Yeah, well, at least I don't actually look like a sissy bitch in one. I look manly! Real strong...makes my muscles look bigger or whatever..." Joel rolls his eyes and Bdubs does the same. "Sure. If you say so." Bdubs squats down and stretches out a hand towards Etho - who has been awfully quiet.
"Come on, Etho." Bdubs gives a tentative tug on Etho's plug. "You haven't got such a pretty voice for no reason."
Etho buries her his face in his arms but keeps his knees on the floor, ass facing towards Joel and Bdubs.
"Please..." Sh--He. He finally manages to whisper out.
"Please what?" Joel asks. Another prompt squeeze to his balls. Etho hope's they'll be blue tomorrow. "Yeah come on, Etho. Ain't no use in half-baked sentences." Bdubs chimes in, continuing his own taunting tugs on Etho's tail.
"Please...give me more. Wann--wanna...wanna be a good...Girl..." She pants, thighs trembling as she tries to open them further for her boyfriends. "Please fuck my pussy..." She reaches a hand behind herself and stretches her hole for them. Bdubs gives another yank to the plug and watches as the widest part tries to slide past her rim but is promptly sucked back in.
"Look at that," Joel sucks his teeth, "such a greedy pussy. I think you and I need to help her out a bit, don't you think? Give this pretty pussy's pretty pussy a nice big load or two."
Bdubs' free hand moves down to join Joel's hand at her scrotum and to tug at her cock. "Mmm..Her clit's already throbbing for us, Joel. I think she might be in heat. Don't worry, kitty-cat, we will take good care of you."
Joel can't take it any longer. He lets go of her balls and starts hiking his own dress up. It's a little bit awkward, having the petticoat underneath bunched up at his middle but - he has no time to care about that right now. "Mind helping me out, Bdubs?" He holds out two fingers to Bdubs' face.
"Oh, my pleasure." He wraps his lips around Joel's fingers and from the corner of his eye he can see Etho squirm as she's looking back at them from over her shoulder which is decorated with a frilly off-the-shoulder piece of fabric. He teases his tongue between Joel's fingers, leaving them with thick globs of spit on them when they're pulled out.
"Would'ya do me the honours of removing her kitty tail for now? Gotta make sure she's nice and bred up." Joel coats Bdubs' spit along his length and waits for Bdubs to pull the toy out.
Bdubs isn't sure if the two of them have ever gotten along this well.
"Oh, absolutely." He teasingly pulls the toy out, letting the widest part linger to stretch her a little bit more -just for a moment- before letting it slip out fully. He's mesmerised by how her hole flutters, clenching around nothing but air.
"There we go." Joel slides his dick inside her and Etho mewls again for him, the bell around her neck chiming with every inch that is being thrusted down her hole--her cunt.
"Joe-hoe-hoelll.." She cries out, spreading her cheeks for him make him slide in faster. It's not ideal, it's a little bit too dry for Joel's liking but a starving man has got to eat.
"There you go, Pussycat. Nice and full. That's so much better isn't it?" Joel pats her thigh. Etho nods.
Bdubs looks down at his boyfriend--or should he say girlfriend? Whatever Etho is right now, he's looking at her. Her eyes are filled with tears. Pleasure, maybe pain. Maybe both.
"What're you giving me those eyes for, kitty? Need more? Oh you really are in heat." Bdubs can read her like a book after having known her for so long. "Don't worry sweetheart." He leans down and crawls between Joel's legs, between Etho's legs. Joel makes a disgruntled noise.
"Fuck you doing that for?" Bdubs doesn't answer him and simply opens his mouth to catch Joel's balls with his tongue as he's fucking into their kitty. He lets his tongue roam from Joel's crotch to Etho's balls, suckling on them while his hand finds her cock. Or - clit. As he called it before.
"Oh my god--" Comes a high pitched squeal from Etho and Joel laughs. "He's great ain't 'e? Go on Bdubs. Don't leave her hanging now."
He lets her balls fall out of his mouth and worms himself up a bit more to take her cock down his throat. It's like she's fucking his throat but in reality it's simply Joel's thrusts moving her down. Bdubs lets his tongue tease her glans and it doesn't take long until she's whimpering and begging to cum.
"Shit--" Joel bites his lip, hips speeding up. "Go on then--since you're such a desperate little kitty. Cum down his throat, Etho, go on. You know he likes it. We both do." That's all it takes for Etho to shoot her load down Bdubs' throat. She hears him gag but can't stop the way her hips sway into the feeling of his tongue and throat.
" 'm close too..." Joel warns as his thrusts grow erratic. Bdubs finally pops off of Etho's dick, coughing up some cum before speaking again in a hoarse voice. "Give her what she wants, Joel." And he's diving his head back into Joel's scrotum, sucking on his balls and letting his teeth scrape over his sack. "F-fuck--blummin' 'ell--" His accent grows thicker as he loses control of himself. It doesn't take long before he's summing inside of her.
Etho is shaking when he pulls out, another hot spurt of cum landing on her dress, surely ruining it.
"Move it." Bdubs swats Joel away from her. Joel may be stubborn but he can take a hint and apologetically he shuffles away from her.
Bdubs gets on his knees, face level with her pussy. It's dripping cum. Joel's cum. He starts to lap it up and lets his right hand wander down under his own frilly dress. It doesn't take long for Bdubs to get close.
He scrambles to get up on his feet before pushing in his cock and filling up Etho.
A weak spurt of cum leaks from her cock and Bdubs internally grins at that. Still got it.
As he's pulling out he looks for the plug. Joel hands it to him and with ease its plugging Etho back up.
"There we go. All safe inside your pretty pussy."
--- that got a little bit out of hand.
"Impulse edging Skizz to hell and back (those clips of him panting OMG I need him breathy and desperate)"
Tags/CW: edging, ruined orgasm, real name use in dialogue, degradation, sub drop, crying, safe wording, aftercare, hurt/comfort
---
"Dop," Skizz's eyes roll back into his skull when Impulse's calloused thumb swipes over his tip again. It's leaking so much. It's no wonder, he's been edged four times up to this point and he feels another one coming.
He breathes out deep before shakily inhaling again. He's lost control of his hips at this point. They're mindless thrusting and bucking up into Impulse's hand.
"Close-" he manages to gasp out. Once again Impulse's hand leaves his dick. A string of pre connects them still however and Impulse grins at it.
"Look at that, Andy. Your cock head is so wet, it's almost like a pussy." Scott breaks their connection by bringing his fingers up to his lips and sucking on the salty pre coating them. "Mmm.." he hums as though he is eating the most delicious meal known to man.
"Almost makes me want to suck you off. Almost."
Skizz's chest his heaving as he slowly comes down from his fifth almost-orgasm. "Please, Scott. It's--" He takes a moment to catch his breath, letting his chin rest on his collar bones. "S-starting to hurt a little." The phrase only seems to make ravenous look behind Impulse's eyes grow.
He's lucky he's not tied up yet. He pleaded Impulse not to when they first started. He seemed to be unable to keep his hands off of Impulse. But he promised to be good. So - that's where he is now.
When his breathing has slowed again, Impulse's hand finds itself back on Skizz's dick.
"Oh my--geez.." Skizz's hips buck up towards Impulse's hand. "Just one more, you can do that. I know you can." It's not a question, it's a statement.
One more, bounces around in his head, one more.
"Mm..one more. F'r you, Scotty." He tries not to lose himself to much in moments like this but Impulse's hand on his dick makes it hard not to fall into the rhythm. Up, down, up, down, pause, up, down, repeat. It's almost hypnotic. So much so that he finds him closer than he thought.
Suddenly his eyes snap open, finding Impulse's. "I'm gonna cum." He says clear as day. It's not a warning because - it's happening. He's cumming. And immediately Impulse's hand leaves him, ruining his high.
"Tsk tsk tsk," Impulse clicks his tongue as he sits back with his arms crossed watching Skizz writhe.
"It really was stupid of me. To believe you'd be able to properly warn me when you'd get too close. Honestly, Andy, I really thought you had learned your lesson after last time. But maybe it was my fault to believe you can actually follow orders." Impulse's eyes see right through him and Skizz lets out a shameless sob through wordless pants.
Then he feels a tear drip down his cheek. Then another then--then a whole flood of tears coating his cheeks. The cold feeling of the tears against his burning hot cheeks is very apparent.
Immediately Impulse's tone shifts. "Cardinals." He safe words before climbing over to Skizz's side of the bed to take his hands and pull him into a hug.
Impulse usually isn't the one to hug but he knows when to dish them out.
"I'm sorry. Was that too far? I'm sorry." He kisses Skizz's tears away and tangles his fingers in his short, spiky hair.
Skizz buries his face into Impulse's collar bones as soundless sobs wreck through him. "It-sfine." He hiccups, wiping his cheeks clean when he pulls away.
"It's not." Impulse holds his face, examining him carefully. "Let's clean up hm? We can talk after when you're feeling a bit more chatty." Skizz nods, leaning into Impulse's palms.
"Bath sound good?" Impulse pulls away carefully and Skizz nods once again. "Alright. You wanna follow me? I'd carry you but...we're not twenty anymore." Skizz huffs out a weak laugh. "Sounds good, Dop."
Skizz sits on the edge of the bath as Impulse runs it. The bathroom is silent apart from the sound of water splashing into tub. It's a comfortable silence, though.
Once it's filled, he climbs into the bath and shudders as he feels the slightly-too-hot water touch his skin - just the way he likes it. He lays his head on the edge of the bath and sighs. Impulse takes a stool and sits down next to him, slowly stroking his hair. "You wanna talk? Can you tell me what got to you?"
Skizz moves his arms under his cheek and looks up at Impulse lovingly while he thinks.
"I think...I dunno. I think it was the part where you kinda said I broke your trust? I was just--" He chokes up again but tries to relax under the gentle combs of Impulse's hand. "I was just trying so hard. A-and I ruined it I---I was doing so good. It just--I lost track of my body. I'm sorry Scott I--I'll try harder next time I--"
"Shhh shh none of that." Impulse shuts him up, taking his chin In his hand and making him look him in the eye. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. You were doing a really good job. I guess...I should've paid more attention to the signs too. Next time, I won't degrade you if you cum. If you wanna do it again sometime, of course. All up to you."
Skizz nods, turning his head to press a kiss to Impulse's palm. "Thanks, Scott."
" 'course."
--- idk. I haven't written anything ever in which a safe word is used and I wanted to learn so here I am.
"Ren and Jimmy fauxcest can’t remember who but someone said Ren looked like he could be Jimmys dad and I need this rare pair more in my life"
tags/CW: Fauxcest, daddy kink, frottage
---
"You can't tell no one about this, Jimmy." Ren's hands hold his hips tightly as he grinds his hips into Jim's own. " 'specially not your mum." Ren's dick slides deliciously down Jimmy's and the latter bucks up to search for more friction.
How did they get here again?
'Ren kinda looks like he could be Jimmy's dad'. He doesn't remember who said it but it made his had whirl. When he looked closer at Ren he could kinda see it. The two aren't too far apart in age but if he squinted he could definitely pretend that he was his dad.
And, well, one thing lead to another.
"Sweet boy..." Ren's hips stutter when the tip of his dick sticks to Jimmy's. "Gonna keep our little secret, yeah baby?" With a whine, Jim nods, spreading his legs wider for Ren to grind his crotch down.
Soon, Ren's hand wraps itself around their cocks and makes a deliciously long drag down. "That's better, isn't it Jim? Oh, yeah that's good, baby. Let your daddy show you the ropes."
"Please, Ren." Jimmy gasps for air when Ren speeds up his movements around their cocks. "Please who?" The corners of his mouth twitch in anticipation.
"Please--please daddy. S-show me how good I can feel..."
--- little bit shorter. I dont think most will be as long as the previous two, but they're all so much fun to think about.
"Gem pegging Grian to tears you seen how they were at the charity event it definitely happened (with non-sentient voyeur cardboard Mumbo cause I think it’s hilarious)"
tags/CW: pegging, cucking fantasy, laughing during sex, dirty talk, real name usage in dialogue. face sitting
---
Grian groans. Not from the strap currently destroying his inside but from the cardboard Mumbo looking down at him. He had said that he'd be taking home at least one of them and alas - a finger-gunning Mumbo is now staring down at him from the corner of his hotel room. Grian is horribly soft, despite Gem angling her hips just the way he likes it.
"Charlie." She sighs behind him, putting her hand on his back and pulling out. "You're not hard and you're not saying anything. Tell me what the hell is on your mind or I'm putting my strap away."
Grian turns around and runs his hands down his face. "It's such a stupid thing, though." He groans, looking up at Gem.
She just watches him with a cocked eyebrow until he speaks again.
"Fine--fuck--it's Mumbo. He's...staring..." Grian gives a nod over to the cardboard cutout in the corner.
It's quiet in the room for a moment until Gem bursts out laughing. She topples over, laying her head on Grian's chest has she heaves with laughter. Slowly, Grian joins in, finding the ridiculousness of it all. He laughs loudly, pressing his face into her curls and feels his shoulders shock with every uncontrollable giggle.
She's panting, for a different reason than they expected this evening.
Slowly she's pushing herself back up, a few little giggles still escaping her. Grian lets out a sigh before letting his head fall back down on the bed.
"As funny as that is, though...I still have a lubed up dick ready to be put inside you." Grian raises an eyebrow in a similar fashion to herself earlier. He spreads his legs. At least he's facing her now and the sight of the toy strapped neatly onto her - her perky tits on display for him. Yeah, okay. he's not so soft anymore.
He tries to ignore Mumbo's prying eyes as much as possible though he can feel them burning in the back of his head. Gem clearly notices he still isn't quite over it yet, though.
"Imagine he was actually in the room. What would he say? If he saw you like this?" She slides her dick back in in one smooth roll of her hips. "I bet..." She presses a soft kiss to his Adams apple. "I bet that he would be hard as a rock, Char. I would be, if I was him. You look amazing under me."
She isn't lying. Grian is flushed from cheeks to chest, panting deeply as she fucks him open on her strap.
"Fuck, Tay. Please...don't stop." He can't believe she managed to make this sexy but good lord if he isn't hard right now what is he?
He grips at the sheets as she speeds up, rolling her hips with coordinated precision he is used to in everything she does. From her building process to the way she fingers him, she always makes it seem like she knows exactly what she's doing. And perhaps she does.
She grips his cock and strokes him in time with her thrusts. She knows him inside and out and it makes Grian's back arch, needing more from her. Her hips are angled just right and the head of the dildo brushes right by his prostate with every thrust.
"He'd be so flushed, Charlie. But he'd be too nervous to speak up. Maybe next year, we need to tie him up and make him watch as I fuck you open on my strap." Gem speeds up again, now pistoning in and out of him rapidly. The pro's of being fucked by a strap: the person inside you can't cum. That just also so happens to be the cons.
"Taylor--I'm--close." Grian bites out as he feels himself come undone for her, tears prickling in the corners of his eyes.
"Cum for me pretty boy," her nails slide over his dick and the soft touch makes Grian keen for her. "I know you want it. Cum on my cock, Char."
He gasps and feels his cock spurt hot globs of cum onto his bell and chest. She fucks him through it as well as keeping her hand a steady pace until he starts to squirm from over stimulation.
"Done-- 'm done." He gasps and she listens, pulling away. Gem puts her hand up to her mouth, licking up what landed there. "Hot..." groans Grian.
She giggles and undoes the straps to the harness to take it off.
"My turn. Scoot over." She taps his side and he moves up the bed all the while still coming down from his high. He quickly notices what's going on though, when her thighs are placed on either side of his head.
Trembling hands take her hips, pushing her cunt down onto his face. Grian greedily starts lapping at her. He lets his tongue dip inside of her and sucks on herm folds. He spreads her for him and lets her grind her clit against his tongue.
"Good boy..." she coos, running a hand through his hair and grinding down against his face.
It doesn't take long for Gem to be trembling on top of him and chasing her high. He occasionally flexes his tongue, making it ripple against her clit.
"Cumming--c-cumming...Fuck!" Grian greedily laps up her juices when she cums and tries holding her hips down on him as much as possible so she can properly ride out her orgasm.
"Fuck...fuck...thanks...Charlie..." She heaves for the second time that night before falling down next to Grian.
They're both panting, coming down. "That was amazing..." Grian mumbles.
"More than." Gem agrees.
--- I kinda have a love-hate relationship with Taylie/Grigem. idk why. Maybe I just find them hard to write. but I feel like this was nice. laughing during sex is always cute.
"Oli and Jimmy are such brats together I need Tango or one of the dads to dom the hell out of them"
tags/CW: technically a foursome (Oli/Jimmy/Tango/Skizz), bondage, a little pup play
---
"What are we to do with them, Tango?" Skizz clicks his tongue and rubs his chin with faux cluelessness. The grin on his face makes all that melt like snow before the sun, though. Skizz knows exactly what he's doing.
"Man, you tell me." Tango hums with the same amount of feigned indifference. Or at least tries to. His voice is far more hoarse and affected by the display in front of him.
The display in question? Jimmy and Oli tied up together. They're as close as can be, Jim's knee angled up between his thighs and pressing down hard on his cock. Oli's ankles tied to his wrists to have them angled up for easier access. Their torso's are tied together, pressing them close. They're making out lazily, licking into each other's mouths and panting softly. Jim's cock is leaking against his hip, smearing pre between them.
"At least they're quiet now. For now." Skizz runs his hand down Oli's exposed rear before giving a gentle squeeze to his aching balls, making him whimper into Jimmy's mouth. Tango pets Jim's hair with a shaky hand, watching him squirm.
"Yeah. For now." He coughs, scratching behind Jimmy's ear. "They're almost like cute little puppies don't you think? So excitable and so...rowdy." Tango sighs, pulling Jim's head up by his hair. He whines, trying to get back to Oli. Tango tuts. "You know we didn't even allow you to make out and create a mess in the first place, Jim. You should feel lucky we aren't punishing you two."
Skizz jumps in, "but look at them Tango! Aren't they the cutest little puppies? Yes you are, yes you are! You just couldn't keep your mouths off of each other could you?" Skizz coos, ruffling Oli's hair.
Tango breathes in deep before letting Jim go again, who immediately goes back to eating Oli alive. Oli reciprocates with a desperate whine.
"They are really cute...Think I wanna watch them for a bit more." He bites his lip and sits down next to them, squeezing his own hard-on through his jeans.
"For just a little longer."
--- shorter one, but still good IMO.
"I seen a post that said “Jimmy laughs like he wants to suck someones dick” it’s so true I need him to give Bdubs the most life changing sloppiest head ever"
tags/CW: throat fucking, semi-public blowjobs, sloppy blowjobs
---
"Jimmy..." Bdubs' hand grabs onto Jim's hair ask he takes him deeper. He's looking up at him with teary eyes and Bdubs' cock deep down his throat. It's an amazing feeling, Bdubs can't believe what he's seeing. Barely any gag relax from this one, here.
"Fuck...this is all you needed isn't it? Needed a nice big dick to s-shut you up? Well I got it right here for ya, sweetheart." A mix of Jim's drool and Bdubs' pre is leaking down his chin, leaking onto his shirt and staining it.
Bdubs is sure he has never had head like this before. Jimmy's tongue swirls around his tip when he's up and it swipes over his balls when he's down. Down without gagging at all, mind you. And it drives him nuts. And it's messy. It's gross and wet and honestly? It's hot. Jim strokes the insides of his thighs, groping onto them every time he moves down. One hand lets go of Bdubs and puts it over the hand in his hair, squeezing it.
"Hm? Oh you--you want me to hold on tighter?" Jimmy nods, looking up at Bdubs with watery doe eyes. His lashes look like grass in the early morning with dew drops in it and it's possibly the prettiest thing he's seen. "I can do that, Jim...fuck...I just wanna...fuck your throat. Can I, sweetie?" The pet names make Jimmy's heart race and he nods fast around Bdubs' cock.
He starts slowly, lifting Jimmy's head up and down off of his cock to slowly set a pace.
"Hold on..." Bdubs grunts, going to stand up to get a more proper rhythm going. He's now fucking his mouth perfectly, cock sliding down his throat with every buck.
Jimmy quickly goes to undo his belt and trousers to shove his hand down his pants. A garbled moan comes out around Bdubs when he finally fists his cock.
"Gettin' a bit close here, sweetheart." Bdubs speeds up and Jimmy adores the way his balls slap against his chin, the way his pubes tickle his nose. If he had more time he could probably cum just from Bdubs fucking his throat. But they don't have time. No, he's currently on his knees in a public bathroom in the Mojang offices and their friends are waiting for them to return.
He pumps himself faster, fucking into his own fist.
"Close--" Bdubs is chewing his lip, not taking his eyes off of Jimmy for a moment.
Jimmy's efforts double, sucking harder than before as if he was trying to milk him dry. It doesn't take long for Bdubs to cum down his throat with a stifled moan.
Jimmy pumps himself a few more times before painting his underwear white. That's going to be bothersome.
Bdubs falls back onto the closed toilet, panting.
"We need to get back soon."
--- Bdubs was so good looking during the event and it's all everyone was talking about. I know he got milked DRYYYY during it, everyone was fawning over him and everyone wanted a piece.
"Joe Hills and Joel look like they can match each other’s freak so well I need them to be freaks together (Hermit games changed me a little)"
tags/CW: Piss drinking, semi-public blowjobs...yeah.
---
"Jesus fucking Christ, Joe." Joel grumbles as he gets on his knees. He can't believe he's doing this. Not right now, not in the bathrooms at Mojang, not while the god damn camera's are still rolling. But what he thought was a silly bet between new friends turned out to be something more serious.
Because, you see, even though Joe might look like he's kidding most of the time he most definitely is not.
"If I get more points than you in this segment I'm pissing in your mouth." Joe had grinned at him and Joel had rolled his eyes.
He hears Joe undoing his belt. Hermit master had long passed and he had since changed out of the stupid costume and back to his usual attire. Well, what can be considered usual for Joe Hills.
And, well, he did get more points than Joel in that particular segment. And Joel...well...he's a man of his word. He's also a man with many curiosities. Of course he had messaged Lizzie before joining Joe in the bathroom and of course she had sent him many eye emojis and telling him to have fun and tell her what it was like. Man, is he lucky.
"You like it." Joe says, smug. And fuck, he couldn't deny that. He hadn't really done anything like this ever. Well, he had Lizzie squirt on him before but that was really all. Having someone piss in his mouth is a whole different thing.
"Say ah, pretty boy." Joe giggles and holds his soft cock in front of him. Joel, on the other hand, is surprisingly hard as a rock. The thrill, the excitement and the novelty of it all has his blood pumping. Joel opens his mouth semi-hesitantly and shudders when Joe lays his cock on his tongue.
It's a little salty but mostly just tastes like... any other genitals, really. Then he starts to piss. The liquid is flowing into his mouth and it's bitter and gross and--well, it's piss. Joel gags but the other holds his curls to push him down further. "Shh," coos Joe, "just stay still. Just gotta -ah, fuck- relieve myself..." He chuckles at the way Joel's face scrunches up and the way his piss is leaking out via his chin.
"Just a little more...aahh..." He groans, squeezing his dick one last time before pulling away. To Joe's delight, the man under him swallows his pee with a sour face. "That wasn't so bad was it?"
--- Is this something? idk man. but youre right, they match each other's freak so well and I want Joel to be smothered by Joe and Cleo
"I just know Mumbo got the worst FOMO while his friends were away I bet they all sent him photos of them fucking eachother to get off to"
tags/CW: sexting, masturbation, mentions of Vicky/Mumbo's girlfriend, Grigem/Taylie
---
'Sorry, wrong person.'
The text read, sent right after Mumbo had received probably the hottest image ever. He has his hand clamped over his mouth and phone held tightly in the other. The photo had long been unsent but god if he wasn't hard as a rock right now.
'it's fine ahhah. you're making me feel left out atp!'
Why did he say that? Why the fuck did he say that?! Out of anything he could've said, that's what he went with? Mumbo you absolute spoon!!
But before he could delete the message, his phone buzzed again.
'Is that so?'
In classic Grian fashion the other replies. Mumbo doesn't reply for a bit, afraid of what other stupid thing he might say
'Hello? Did my message come through?'
Grian texts him again.
'The WiFi is kinda bad here. Lol.'
Mumbo starts to type with shaky hands. Don't mess this up.
'yeah youre good I just didnt know what to say, sorry mate'
It stays quiet on the other side and, in a way, he breathes a breath of relief Setting his phone down on his desk he leans back in his chair and runs his hands down his face with a groan. He stays there for a little, contemplating the tent in his trousers, until he hears the bu-bup of discord again.
Already having his computer open, he just opens the message there. It's Grian again. He can see the little red dot next to his icon.
It's another image, thankfully spoiled this time.
Mumbo thinks for a moment. Should he really open this? The last time he only caught a glimpse of something he wasn't supposed to see. But he couldn't quite make out what it was. And now Grian is sending it again? He hasn't removed it, and it's been at least thirty seconds. It stays awfully quiet on the other side.
He checks over his shoulder - Vicky is home, in the kitchen making dinner for them to enjoy before MCC. When he's sure she won't come in, he clicks the spoiler.
He immediately scrolls up, hiding the image when he sees it. It's Gem'. Specifically it's Gem sitting on someone's dick - presumably Grian's. It's burned into his retinas, the way he can see her folds wrapping around him, the way she's flushed but confident. And then Grian's hand on her hip, signature watch adorning his wrist and making it clear who it is.
His cock gives a kick in his trousers.
He scrolls back down - the spoiler has reloaded thank goodness.
'wrong person again?'
He types shakily, waits for the little dots to pop up. They disappear and reappear a few times until -
'No. That's for you.'
Mumbo's breath hitches and with another quick Look over his shoulder he unbuckles his belt as fast as he can. He lifts his hips up a bit and slides his trousers down just enough for him to access his cock.
'Do you like it?'
Says another message, the last one still going unanswered. He thinks about it for a moment before grabbing his phone. "Can't believe I'm doing this..." He mumbles to himself. He snaps a picture of his leaking cock and sends it to Grian, similarly spoilered.
'is that enough of an answer for you?'
He captions it, waiting eagerly for a response.
It stays quiet on the other side for a while. He thinks about what Gem and Grian are doing. Is she still riding him? Is he still straddling her hips? Or maybe they've moved - maybe he's fucking her from behind. No--no that doesn't seem like a Grian thing to do. He seems like the kind of guy to enjoy seeing his partners. He's probably taking her missionary.
Why the hell is he thinking about his friends in different sex positions?
Another icon pops up on the side of his discord - it's Gem. He clicks it hesitantly.
'Hey Mumbo! Grian showed me that photo <3 he got sooo flustered it was adorable. Next year you should join us, I'm sure Grian would love to be fucked by you. And myself too, for the record'
Mumbo almost chokes on air when he sees the image she sends afterwards. It's not spoilered this time and he prays to whatever being there is up above that Vicky won't come in.
It's an image of Grian, from Gem's perspective, seemingly taken without him knowing. He's flushed, eyes squeezed shut and mouth hanging open with drool leaking from it. There's nothing explicitly sexual going on in the photo - there's not dick or tits on display but it's obvious that this was taken in the middle of sex. Grian is shirtless and sweaty and - fuck its hot.
Mumbo flicks his thumb over his tip and drags his hand down. He wonders if Grian would look like that under him too. He thinks about Gem texting him in the middle of them having sex - is he really that important to her? His hips jerk up into his fist.
He hopes next time he can join them. Hopes he can have Grian on his dick and Gem on his face, both taking whatever they need from him. His hand speeds up and soft pants escape him.
Another image loads in his chat with her, this time showing off between their bodies. He can see how her hips are angled to meet Grian's thrusts and he can see the barest edge of Grian's dick as well as her trimmed pubes decorating her pussy.
'thnk y0up[lease'
He types messily with one hand while the other keeps working on his cock. He's getting close. His chest is heaving and his arm is starting to cramp a little.
One last image does it for him - from Grian's point of view but sent through Gem's messages. It's her, fucked out and flushed with cum leaking from her.
"Shit." Mumbo groans when he cums, spilling over his hand and -annoyingly- his keyboard. Despite that he takes his phone again, sending them one last picture - the image of his hand and dick and set up now befouled.
---
"Cleo and Martyn need to resolve their sexual tension so bad I need them to dry hump their issues away perhaps with a little bit of femdom Cleo"
tags/CW: Dry humping/thigh humping, subby martyn, he's so cute, premature ejaculation, implied pet play but it's not really apparent
---
"I knew you were staring at me all day, Martyn." Cleo coos in his ear as he ruts against their thigh. They chuckle, playing with his hair. "Was I not what you expected me to be?" Martyn quickly shakes his head. His eyes are screwed tight and his hands greedily grope at her body.
"N-no--you're...perfect..." He gasps for air and pushes his face into their neck, giving gentle kisses. "Ah ah," she tuts, pulling him away by his hair, "no marks." He nods quickly. "S-sorry..." Cleo presses a gentle kiss to the shell of his ear and Martyn whines once again. "It's all good, pretty boy. Just show me how much you needed this."
His hips stutter and with a pathetic moan he is dirtying his boxers. Cleo hums disapprovingly. "Already, Martyn? We're gonna have to train you out of that..." She tuts.
--- this one's the shortest cause...I ran out of steam...I HOPE YOU LIKED IT THOUGH
I really hope I did them all justice! thanks for submitting, I love going wild with prompts as you might see.
Made some entirely self indulgent joe/cleo ghost porn so have fun guys :D
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People need to get freakier about Joe around here that man is fine as hell





