Here it goes…this will be long
bare with me the first time i typed everything i accidentally deleted it all. so this might be all over the place there might be typos. my reason for this is no reason just to jot down my thoughts so if you are reading this and offended dont take this personal.
I think part of me feels the need to make this clear is because i’ve seen people not understand why she’d feel that about Joshua why does she describe him as vicious? where did it all go wrong. i’ve also seen Joshua fans undermine her feelings and bring up his traumas and what he went through to excuse him but what about what she went through? we dont have to compare but dont undermine her feelings and invalidate her. a certain comment struck me and it was a Joshua fan saying “she wouldnt pull an olivia write and release vicious about him and put him through it, she knows what he went through he doesnt deserve it he almost died” like they’re missing the whole point, i think sabrina has waited long enough and she tried to stay by him and it just didnt work, if she describe what he put her through as cruel then just accept it. yes his heart failed it isnt her fault? she tried to be there, how did u think she felt? he pushed her away too and he said it himself in his snippet of a song called Never and Sabrina sings about him pushing her away in Space and Dust which sh posted 2 months after dl was out.
To be honest with you the whole situation is complicated and you might not understand or if you’re biased towards any certain parties in this case joshua you will turn a blind eye and dismiss her feelings like you did vicious. Sabrina has never spoken about him or their relationship or put him on blast, she isn’t making this about her break up with him she’s simply letting the music find its people. What people make of it isn’t her fault, she didnt release vicious because she’s angry and wants revenge i mean its simply what she’s been through at this point she’s had a lot of people tell her how to feel its time we hear her out.
i’m not writing this as an expose i wish all well to Joshua and i know sabrina does too or she wouldn’t have written skinny dipping and imagine a day where it all wouldn’t hurt and she can put this past her. At the end of the day all 3 involved (sabrina, olivia, and joshua) have received hate in different ways. part of me hates when someone defends sabrina and talks about what she went through and someone would bring up what Joshua went through. i dont like that we always have to bring him up maybe thats me and i hold some resentment of my own? maybe its cause im simply sick of seeing him be brought up and constantly baby-ed by his fans? which i understand. you wouldn’t turn on your favorite celebrity but i think its okay to accept he did Sabrina wrong and the only way to describe what he did to her is unfortunately is cruel. Sabrina herself said that she wouldn’t always feel like that and its just where she is now.
I want to add im glad this is all over and sabrina doesn’t seem to be where she was last year and that makes me happy.
1. Why does she describe him as Vicious?
I think in order to know that you must understand the timeline of their breakup and quite literally how he loved her and pretend he didn’t. because i don’t only want to show you the tl i want to be able to provide lyrics as proof and my own interpretation of it all this will be all over the place.
January 8th 2021 Drivers License was released, the whole cast of hsmtmts were filming the show in Salt Lake City and Sabrina was there visiting Joshua. Sabrina was spotted a week after Drivers License in Salt Lake. When Sabrina says in the song because i liked a boy “when everything went down we’d already broken up” is because thats what happened. He broke up with her after DL came out (it’ll make sense if you put it in this perspective, so stay with me). She even sings in the same song “was only trying to hold you close while your heart was failing. you said im too late to be you first love but i’ll always be your favorite” To me, it sounds like he’s breaking up with her although she was only trying to be there for him because she loved him. This all ties up to love me then pretend you didnt crush my heart and wreck my image in the song Vicious. The thing is i dont believe wrote Vicious around the same time she wrote because i liked a boy i think it took her time to understand how she feels and actually reflect on how things went down and how he handled it.
It’s funny cause Joshua has a song coming out called Used To It and the first verse is about Olivia not caring when his heart failed (due to septic shock) This could imply to thats where his mind was at which makes sense to why Sabrina finds him cruel as well as if you look at the 2nd verse in Vicious she sings “when you’re insecure could be me, could be her you just run to whoever is winning”. Joshua has a song coming out too called Would You Love Me Now? and his fans think its about olivia based on a few lines the song is not out yet.
2. Sabrina stayed.
i’ve seen this here on Tumblr and someone said the way sabrina describe their relationship was sweet or something like that but i feel like it was sweet at one point but the songs are all about AFTER their breakup in January 2021 and there is nothing sweet about a man who cant make up his mind. Regardless i understand things were out of control and to be honest yes he’s also been through a lot in his personal life but i dont think that should excuse anything. We hear Sabrina sing about Tornado Warnings and if you read my page you know it is about Joshua. Late March 2021 Sabrina and Joshua were at a park during a tornado warning (NOT BACK TOGETHER just to talk most probably). Lets focus on the lyrics, sabrina knows its a bad idea and that LOGICALLY she shouldn’t have him on her mind and she shouldnt be seeing someone who left her. In the song she’s saying she’s convincing her therapist it didnt happen and that she’s over that son of a bitch.
The 2nd verse to me could be interrupted 2 ways 1. is Sabrina is justifying lying to her therapist in her therapy session “i deserve an hour in a week to focus on my thoughts not so obsessed with yours i cant hear myself speak” and she also is putting herself first and recognise that it is what she should be doing “i deserve my own consideration”.
The lyrics “i deserve my own consideration” remind me of her song how many things. In this song, sabrina portrays her vulnerable side, she feels worthless in his eyes. although she’s not his priority anymore she constantly thinks of him “theres no hiding in the thought of us i got ways to find you anywhere” . Sabrina is aware once again she shouldnt be considerate of him yet she cant help herself “i consider you im not trying to it doesnt matter whether or not i want to i cant help it” she also sings i wonder how many things you wanna do you think im in between Sabrina feels like this thing he has to deal with or in-between what he really wants yet she still went to see him during a tornado warning, she still considers his feelings “i feel myself falling further down your priorities and i still make excuses for you constantly” .
The sad part is he left and she touches on this in the second verse she sings “remember when you left once? that never made too much sense to me well it hurt you so bad hurting me you really came to me for sympathy” and in her song Bet Ya Wanna “i bet you hate the way you said goodbye and you still cant even tell me why i hate the way you left me dry but ill keep that between you and i” how did he say goodbye? i mentioned earlier it was around the weeks after drivers license was released in the lyrics she says he left her dry which means leaving someone high and dry which means to leave someone in a difficult situation without any help. and when was that? january 2021 now back to Vicious crush my heart and wreck my image.
Sabrina stayed and thats highlighted in songs like Tornado Warnings, Already Over, Decode and a song she wrote and posted in March 2021 called Space and Dust.
in space and dust sabrina says she’ll always be there “if no ones there to hear u scream you can still reach out your hand to me and im floating there ill always be the brightest star in your galaxy”
3. Theres nothing left here to decode
in decode Sabrina touches on his behavior of how he didn’t stay, confused her, and walked away and eventually choosing to walk away herself. Now that she stopped trying to understand him or the situation and walked away from it all she feels the weight off her shoulders “theres a weight off my shoulders now that i don’t chase you being myself, did that emasculate you? learning from you that i can walk away too”
In an interview sabrina talks about her favorite line which is learning from u i can walk away too and she said walking away wasnt an option to her because she thought walking away is a negative thing you dont walk away from someone you love but then she learned to realize it could be a good option and it is the better option.
4. In conclusion
i promise im done but i wanted to go into details so this is a long ass post. point is someone can hurt someone and do something wrong regardless of what they’ve been through. sabrina releasing vicious is valid why shouldn’t she sing about him and what he put her through, its insane to me how his fans will vilify her or find her bringing up his heart failure in because i liked a boy yet his own fans bring it up every second to defend his actions. you dont find that weird? we’re all glad he’s okay and he’s made it but she knows him more than you and you might not be able to understand how she feels because regardless your his fans and she’s his ex and someone he pushed completely to the side when in reality she ended up in this mess cause of him cause she even gave him a chance letting him in her world. if sabrina fans dont like him or feel some way about him its justified too.
Dont make sabrina releasing Vicious a negative thing or “bringing” him up for attention when he only writes about OR which he knows will get 10x more attention than singing about SC. Sabrina released Skinny Dipping which is how she wants it to be in the future “water under the bridge”
This is how sabrina described Decode:
“When you finally stop hurting yourself trying to understand why someone didn’t love you the way you thought they did, it all becomes so much more clear” and based on his songs he’s releasing right now that are assumed to be about Olivia, sabrina’s feelings in vicious are valid.
