Meet The Royal Mess

Em. She/Her. Media consumption & analysis is my hobby.

[yannaryartside]

It just occurred to me that all the people who have ever told Carmy they love him are also the ones who have harmed him in some way. I think that's one of the reasons every “I love you” from Richie felt like a punch to the throat in their fridge fight.

Claire said “I love you” while also being capable of minimizing his struggles and even mocking him. And we know how both Donna and Mikry weaponized those words, too, to make Carmen give in to the abuse. And as much as I love Richie, he was enabling both Donna and Mikey as he grew up, he actively engaged on it and imitated it, resulting in the blaming and passive agression that is part of their present dynamic.

All this to say I NEED Carmy to tell Sydney he loves her, without blackmail, without stress, without doubt, fully free, fully hopeful.

[theroyalmisfitmess]

Nat has only ever been the person in Carmy’s life who said “I love you” to him without condition and without dismissal of his feelings. I think it’s also interesting that even if Syd has never said the words to him, her actions manifest them. No matter how much he has let her down and how hurt she feels by him, she doesn’t dismiss or belittle his feelings. She has every right to be angry with him, but she doesn’t choose to badmouth him to other people and even talks him up. She does things for Carmy even in the absence of a request, and not solely for her own benefit.

I’m rewatching The Office right now, and this meta takes me back to a quote by Jim Halpert when he was criticizing Dwight Schrute for always having Michael Scott’s back: “What is he getting out of this?” which was immediately followed by his disappointed look at the cameras, because his criticism also applied to him. Because he loved Pam Beesly and would do anything for her despite being engaged to someone else.

So then, what is Sydney getting out of such actions for Carmy? She has said she doesn’t need him. She knows she doesn’t need him. Well clearly, it is because she loves him unconditionally (and if you’re not a SydCarmy shipper, yes this applies platonically too).

[theroyalmisfitmess]

Okay, but if an unfortunate ending is Carmy ending up with Claire or even marrying her, don’t you think Sydney will always be in the equation?

Even if Carmy actually retires, quits the restaurant or doesn’t come back, Carmy will always be tied to it even if it isn’t in a legally-binding way. It’s his family’s legacy that he has partially given to his partner, Sydney. There will always be that professional and emotional connection to Sydney. And based on what we have seen in Claire’s portrayal, I don’t think she will ever be understanding enough to understand the intimacy between Syd and Carmy. If she did, she would’ve validated the feelings Carmy expressed when he was stuck in the walk in, and actually hold him accountable for his behavior instead of giving him mixed signals of what she really wanted from him.

Claire could end up with Carmy, but her relationship with him will always compete with his relationship with Syd—whether Syd and Carmy are in love or not.

[yannaryartside]

The flooding plot is quite genius

First off, it parallels Sydney's nightmare (I'm gonna save my thoughts on what this means for her character for another post), but I want to talk about what it means for the show's themes.

Water is associated (symbolically/spiritually) with the release of emotions. I think I first heard this from one of my mediation teachers; she said that when something in your house is broken and releases a lot of water, it means you are dealing with emotions that you don't want/cant bring to the surface. This is part of a belief system based on the idea that reality responds to our inner worlds, and other creators like @thoughtfulchaos773 have mentioned this in their posts, too.

So if I were to draw a conclusion about what would happen in this season, it would be that this is the season to release the feelings that have been contained so far. It is the season of emotional catharsis. And that's very significant, considering there have been a lot of tears in the past seasons, but I think that's what the show wants to tell us: not a single one of those was addressing the real issues; the real issues are still unaddressed.

Because the real issue is abuse. Carmy hasn't cried for real yet, cause he hasn't made a decision to defend his inner child. He hasn't actually processed all the sadness and anger he has inside, nor have Nat and Michael; otherwise, they wouldn't still be cuddling and justifying Donna.

Mikey used drugs to numb himself, and Carmy used isolation to numb himself. To not feel those difficult feelings. Sydney entered the culinary industry in hopes of making sense of her feelings despite experiencing them. That's a very clear lesson in this very intricate show about trauma: feelings need to be addressed, and they need direction.

[theroyalmisfitmess]

I may not be realistically sure about SydCarmy happening, but here’s my piece… Carmy was always pushed by his family to do things. His life ran by their decisions. While he loved cooking, the desire to become a renowned chef was quite out of spite.

He dated Claire, but only because his family pushed it. It even came to a point where they gave Claire the “Bear” by branding her “Claire bear”. This was never Carmy’s doing. It was all his family. But where do we exactly see Carmy practice his agency? With Syd.

In a world full of choices made for him, Carmy chose Syd. He chose her to stage. He chose her to be retained in a room full of employees chosen for him. He chose her to be his CDC. But most importantly, he chose to give her The Bear. Not his family. Him.

Carmy’s family gave Claire the bear, but Carmy gave Sydney The Bear.

[lokihiddleston]

ANASTASIA (1997)

[snowbairdd]

You brought music back into the house. I had forgotten.

THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965) dir. Robert Wise

[theroyalmisfitmess]

A thought: what if the Season 5 teasers and trailer of The Bear are only showing scenes from one or two episodes to keep the rest of the season a secret?

[theroyalmisfitmess]

Jewish, rich, nepo baby, and a writer? Josh is 100% the BJ Novak variant in Not Suitable for Work.

[theroyalmisfitmess]

I just compiled the parallels between Carmy’s arguments with Claire, and Sydney. One thing I will say: Claire claiming that she’s known Carmy all her life as a reason why she understands his actions is astonishing, because Sydney had a better read of him.

[theroyalmisfitmess]

I am a supporter of the concept, “Disliking media does not equate to bad writing/bad media,” so believe me when I say that I genuinely think it would be bad writing for The Bear writers to have Carmy end up with Claire.

Call me biased because I want him with Syd, but do you expect me to believe that he’d be better off with someone he likens with being set on fire, over his business partner who validates his feelings but does not fail to call him out and defends him fervently? What character development have we seen in Carmy when he was in a relationship with Claire? Everything has literally been three steps back whenever he was with her. The writers cannot be serious now…

In all honesty, I would rather watch Carmy end up single than be with Claire.

[theroyalmisfitmess]

You can’t convince me that Syd wasn’t slowly falling back harder for Carmy early into Season 4

Something I recently noticed upon rewatching Season 4 scenes was this pattern of progressively positive reactions regarding Carmy’s actions and personal progress. Syd asked Carmy to be less chaotic and to do better, and he did the work to gain her trust back. Even if she initially couldn’t believe it in 04x01, she eventually gave in—especially after the care he showed her when her dad was hospitalized.

Where in previous seasons Syd would blindly defend Carmy and talk about how wonderful he is despite the breech of trust, finally she has reasons to act confident in. It is demonstrated with her excitement talking to Ebra about the menu changes, how she defended Carmy to TJ, and most importantly, how she spoke about how great Carmy is to Donna.

Dare I say, throughout this entire thing, she falls harder for Carmy. Little by little, with the trust he gained back.

Problem is, Carmy ran away again.

Everything built suddenly started to slip and Syd is rightful to feel hurt by it. Still, however, she wants him by her side. Syd continues to defend him even to his own demons. But why, exactly? Because she’s seen and felt his ability to be better than what he believes is his hopeless case of best.

[theroyalmisfitmess]

And if I say that I think The Bear’s finale plot twist is an in-your-face, non-implied reveal that Syd and Carmy were in love with each other the whole time, then what?

[muses-andsuch]

Genuinely what the fuck is his problem???

[yannaryartside]

It genuinely pisses me ofc so much how 9/10 times Syd doesn’t look at Carmen when he is looking at her. And im pretty sure the first times she really didn’t know he was staring at him, but I have this unshakable feeling that since s3 she might know, and in s4 she might actually be refusing to meet his gaze despite feeling it in her.

[theroyalmisfitmess]

I deadass think she realized it at this moment:

[theroyalmisfitmess]

Rewatching The Office and oh my gosh. Why did Jim start dating Karen knowing he was gonna see Pam again when he went back to Scranton??? 😭

[theroyalmisfitmess]

Pushing It Down and Praying SydCarmy edit because why not

[chefkids]

my babies. all grown up ❤️

[ripley-stark]

and i do think the bear purposely borders the line between platonic and romantic but the cultural pearl clutching and gaslighting around the IDEA of sydney and carmy specifically is so wild when literally any other show they would've been very obvious endgame based on the conventions of the genre. like if sydney was played by molly gordon and claire was played by ayo edebiri, claire would've been a one-season role in the manner of karen filippelli, paul genzlinger, hot priest, and mark brendanawicz. there simply would not even be debate about whether sydcarmy is platonic or romantic. it would just be viewed as any other romantic subplot inevitably hurtling toward realization