#jack-age 5

[mykidscantalk]

Oh my god, oh my god, there's a mowf... two mowfs in the house. Scream and run away!

Jack, age 5 (7/2/15)

[mykidscantalk]

More Park Woes (3/30/16)

Jack (age 5): Can you take me to the park?

Me: No.

Jack: Pleeeeeeeease.

Me: Fine.

...

Jack: I'm bored--there's nothing to do here.

Every single time.

[mykidscantalk]

Dumb (June 2016)

Jack and Meagan are arguing about something.

Jack (age 5): Oh my god. I think she's legally dumb.

Me: *dies*

[mykidscantalk]

You're What? (4/14/16)

Me: Eat some broccoli with your fish sticks.

Jack (age 5): I can't.

Me: Why not? You love broccoli.

Jack: I'm a meatetarian.

Me: o_0

Jack: It's the opposite of a vegetarian that means I can't eat vegetables.

Me: *cracking up*

Jack: *glares* Don't judge me.

(apparently potatoes and ketchup are allowed in a meatetarian diet)

[mykidscantalk]

Spelling (3/11/16)

Jack (age 5): Look, I can spell my last name now.

Me: Cool.

Jack: What's your last name?

Me: *says last name*

Jack: It's the same as mine?

Me: Uh, yeah.

Jack: *mind blown*

[mykidscantalk]

Homework (4/12/16)

Me: Do your homework.

Jack (age 5): I can't read all of that! It's too hard!

Me: ...

Jack: *reads every last word on his own*

Me: [kids]

[mykidscantalk]

Balloon (12/6/15)

The balloon floats up to the light.

Me: We don't want that--the light is hot and will pop the balloon.

Jack (age 5): Then turn off the light.

Me: But then I can't see.

Jack: *points at window* What, are you legally blind?

Me: *dies*

[mykidscantalk]

Park Woes (4/7/16)

Me: I'm going to the park to do some writing.

Nora (age 10): I wanna go!

Jack (age 5): I wanna go!

AT THE PARK

Nora: It's so hot out.

Jack: I'm bored.

Me: Go play.

Nora: But it's so hot--I'm dying. And I hate that kid; he's mean.

Jack: I'm bored.

Me: *headdesk*

Zero writing was done in the course of this trip.