You must be insecure, you must be so unhappy.
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Jackson stiffened at those words. His mouth partially dried for a brief moment before he realized how awkward he must have appeared then, tilting his head slightly, he grinned, before briefly giving a frown “What? Insecure? Where'd you- Why do you think that?” He was clearly confused, how could anyone think that he was insecure? What had they seen? A small panic began to fill his chest as thoughts began to fill his mind one his doing something to make him…seem off. As a celebrity, he was expected to appear pristine, and perfect. It was a perfect career for someone like him. Pretending. Being what he was not. Hiding what he really was from the rest of the world.
But, not all of the world was that oblivious. Sometimes someone peaked behind the curtain a bit too much. Found something he had buried deep. Perhaps he had failed to keep it deeper than he thought, a moment of weakness. A moment of humanness. The monster inside growing in rage at this peak. He was unhappy. But he hated that. He hated if others seen him in a way that he did not wish to be seen. Being seen as what he was, only made others believe him to be some sort of monster. He did not want to be a monster. But…there were things he could not help. Things he could not hide. The monster he did not want, came out.
Swallowing thickly, Jackson takes in a deep breath, feeling the awkwardness grow with the silence, “I'm totally happy! What? Why wouldn't I be happy?” Laughing lightly, he shakes his head, “I'm living a life most people only dream about. People love me, love what I can do for them.” He went on, sure he was probably rambling a bit, “I can have anything I want, and most people would just jump at the chance to get it for me.” He stopped then, realizing he was talking too much. The monster wanted that, people to do what he wanted, to love him, no matter what. He needed it like fish need water. Or humans needed air. That attention, that control over others. To be loved, no matter what was better than all the drugs he had ever done before.