#jade wong

[carelovequotes]

If the world can still shine after all it's been through, then Darling, so can you.

Jade M. Wong

[browneyedgenius]

Jade Wong from May’s Golden Dragon - 12.13.20

@justanalto I got caught up in Jade feels so I made this for you <3

[talkingtongue]

Bzz.. Bzz.. Bzz.. Bzz..

That was the fourth time my phone rang. If it’s important, he’ll drop by, I thought.

And so I lifted a bottle of beer to my mouth and watched you frown on that book that you have been reading for days now.

I searched for a pen on my desk, all I saw were markers and highlighters that all lost their black, blue and neon inks. I wanted to draw that frown, to immortalize your scowl on some used tissue paper that I’ll probably stare for hours before I sleep, wishing that maybe, maybe it was your lips that I was holding on my own nude hands, but even that, even that, I can’t do.

You look so bare and beaten and tired and yet so beautiful.

----

“I want to see Jerome.”

“What’s Jerome?”

“Jerome Jerome.”

She angled her head slightly to the right and gave you a puzzled look. She laughed, that big, sonorous laugh. She slipped her hands at back pockets of your faded blue jeans and began singing a French song, which even from this distance, sounded funny.

“Come on. Jerome, you told me all about him last night” you said. “—the hamster” you stammered.

“John.” she said.

You looked at the sink and saw the water dripping.

You looked at her and saw her glaring.

“It’s John. And don’t call him “The Hamster”, he has a name. And it’s not Jerome.”

She loses it. She looked scary. And like a tower made of playing cards, it stumbled just like that.

Just. Like. That.

----

I sat up on the edge of my bed and closed my curtains, the same curtains that saw me watching you from afar. In my thoughts, those thick plum curtains were like my allies in this undeclared war of reaching out and giving in. I loved you for two years and three hundred sixty-four days, and I still do now.  

I tried to light a cigarette, but your lamp clicked opened and I saw the light spilling on your windows while it cursed with the wind. I tiptoed, peeked through my curtains and saw you crying. Your lips looked darker with the weak light, your hair almost camouflaged as your shadows, but you were beautiful still. Your sunken eyes darted on my direction, and for a second, I thought my heart would stop.    

I bolted down on my cold wooden floor, crouched, clutched my chest and whispered, “Oh dear Lord God” like it was some kind of chant that would make you forget the strange pale guy who was watching you cry.

I wordlessly crawled under my sheets and thought, this was the first encounter I had with you.

----

That night, I dreamt I was with you, you were with me. We were together. You, on your torn jeans and oversized shirts, smoking cigars like it was the end of the world. We were on the entrance of a bowling alley, on a park walking on the grass bare-footed, on an unnamed pub downtown, on our backs at the wooden planks of your attic, on a bike, MRT, jeepney. We were everywhere. We were drinking, eating ice cream, playing tic tac toe on a diner’s table. You were doing an impression of a coal miner, a gangster, a fighter pilot to make me laugh.

And at the end of my dream, we kissed. My plaid shirt smelled of your dizzying scent. Your weird accent and breath that smelled of vodka and cheap rum lingered on my lips. The steady drizzle hit the windowpane of a lone coffee shop, the pavement was wet, and we were cold. But we didn’t care. You loosened your grip on my hips and tightened it again. You looked in my eyes and told me people were staring. You bit your lip then laugh. And we kissed some more.

----

I woke up the next morning with my curtains still closed. There was already light outside, I could tell. I touched my lips which were chapped and cold. There was no after-taste of the rum or vodka, no trace of your cologne on my wrists. There was nothing but my memory of a dream all tangled up on my linen sheets.

I prayed that this too, is a dream. I stared on my blinking phone that bluntly announced I had no space for new messages. And I think I stared at it far too long that my eyes hurt I started to cry.

A tear fell down and rolled under my bed, which will remain forgotten. My heavings and sobs trapped on a metal cage with the key to its lock missing. I could see the corner of my heart, dark and empty.  

And so I sat on my most uncomfortable chair to punish myself of this foolishness. I sat there and knew that I’ll peek on my curtains later again.

“See you tonight.” I finally said.

[babydolllswift]

Found Cody!