since I read you on X, I recently went to your profcard.info and there you talked about an incurable disease... If it's convenient for you to say what kind of disease is this? If you're uncomfortable, just ignore this question, I'm sorry!!!
Oh, please don’t worry about it at all❣️ I love talking about myself, so I’ve actually been thinking about sharing my story about my illness someday. I haven’t really talked much about my past on Tumblr. So, even though this might get a little long, I’m going to write this out as a way to come to terms with myself.
The condition I have is called “functional dyspepsia.” Strictly speaking, it’s not a rare disease. However, there was a time around the beginning of 2023 when I literally couldn’t eat. One day, I was plagued by severe headaches, vomiting, and stomach pain, so I called an ambulance. At that time, the paramedics referred to this condition as a “rare disease.” Since the coronavirus was still spreading at the time, every hospital refused to admit me. In the end, my parents drove me to a hospital, where I was given only painkillers and sent home. I think it was around 3:00 a.m.
Well, it’s a condition often suffered by teenagers, stemming from psychological stress. Until my second year of junior high, I was busy with ballet and piano lessons, and many adults expected me to get excellent grades in school, so my stress had reached its limit by then. Since it was a local public middle school, my relationships with others weren’t great either. My hometown had a lot of troublemaking teachers who committed misdeeds serious enough to make the newspapers… Even though I was only in my second year of middle school at the time, I underwent a gastroscopy with almost no anesthesia… Since there were no abnormalities in my stomach, I was diagnosed with this condition. By the way, I’d actually received the diagnosis a few days before I called the ambulance. From that day on, I could hardly go to school at all. Even when spring arrived and I became a third-year junior high student, there were long stretches where I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning because of stomach pain. Since this is a condition where symptoms worsen due to one’s own mental strain, there is no specific cure, and the only way to regain health is by taking a combination of medications. In short, it wouldn’t be surprising if those days when I couldn’t get out of bed returned. Because I’ve had a constitution that doesn’t respond well to medication since I was young, ultimately, no matter which medication I used, it had no effect. I think I only went to school for about three months during my third year of junior high. That’s why I enrolled in a correspondence high school.
However, after starting high school, many of my problems were resolved. My parents, with whom I’d argued countless times, finally came to understand me, and I was blessed with many friends and kind teachers. Now, the frequency of my symptoms flaring up has decreased significantly! Well, since I broke down mentally so many times during the period when I couldn’t go to school, I still suffer from chronic depression to this day. Even so, there are plenty of people who keep me from falling into the abyss. Because of all that, I’m super careful about how I reply to messages! To everyone I haven’t been able to reply to via DM or reply, I’m truly sorry😫💦(now problem…) After all, I was mentally unstable back then, so there were many times I said horrible things to people on Twitter. I can’t thank my followers enough for not abandoning me despite that.
Come to think of it, the fact that my physical pain gets worse the more I bottle up negative emotions—doesn’t that sound like a perfectly Dreamtale AUs fan’s constitution? And the more my body hurts, the stronger those negative emotions get… I’m being used by those with negative auras‼️‼️‼️
This is totally irrelevant, but the reason I started taking sleeping pills was when I stopped going to school. The medication I take has a side effect that makes me more prone to nightmares. However, for some reason, I’ve started dreaming almost exclusively about my favorite characters. As I posted the other day, dreams like Dreamcore where I just hang out with teenagers, dreams where people with negative auras do whatever they want to me, dreams where my favorite characters stroke my injured body parts, dreams where I’m living as a person in the world I want to be in (like JR’s employee lol)... Well, I’ll manage somehow. After all, I’ve gotten through the hardest time of my life alongside my favorite characters.
