#jae;para

[exjaejoongxbw]

Leo quietly slipped his head around the door of his new dorm room, sable eyes glancing left and right around the spacious, apparently-empty room. He wasn't sure if his dorm-mate was here at the moment and so the goth slid into the room and shut the door behind him with a very quiet click after setting his tattered bags down by his feet.

The doom was quiet that night; as it always was. Jaejoong prefered it that way; he embraced the emptiness and enjoyed playing guitar without worrying about disturbing others.Though the room also carried a foreboding air. But why? Because of the previous owners suicide that although never took place in the dorm itself, it still caused a chill in the otherwise peaceful atmosphere.  

Perhaps a small part of Jaejoong wanted company — after living with sisters who bore three stomachs each he now had the habit of cooking too much for a slim man like himself. So upon hearing of the arrival of his new roommate, although nervous and somewhat disappointed the room wasn’t only is anymore, he stayed behind after work to bake the stranger a batch of vanilla cookies. The singer thought it was rather lame, but he did so anyway.

By the time he returned to his dorm all the lights were off; no sign of the room mate in sight. He left the container of treats by the stranger’s door, leaving it there so he could find it whenever he left the room. Jaejoong didn’t want to rudely interrupt him, but he’d always been taught to never greet someone without a gift. Therefore, after numerous rewrites and tapping of pen against chin he stuck a note on the container before silently disappearing into his own room. 

'For you, my new room mate.I don’t know if you like cookies — in fact maybe you hate them which would be quite a shame and I apologize if that’s the case. But I made these for you anyway. If you don’t like them, I won’t mind. Do what you like. Welcome to Bullworth. - Kim Jaejoong.’

[exjaejoongxbw]

⋆ Picking Up Shattered Pieces ;; Jaejoong & Hayi

Art comes in many forms; the complicated yet meaningful constellations of lyrics, the emotional and melodic way of music, or even the simple stroke of a brush which held so many possibilities of becoming a masterpiece. Jaejoong craved to learn and truly experience them all, no matter how hard the task. He knew it was not beyond the bounds of possibility, for he'd already fallen for so many and the creativity which flowed through him was undeniable.

And yet, he was rendered into disbelief has the pottery work he'd tried so long and fought so hard to create was broken into unrecognizable pieces. Blown apart. Fragmented. Shattered just like his dreams. Perhaps he was being melodramatic as he stayed behind after class, hopeless eyes still on what remained of his soon due assignment. Jaejoong just could not understand his own misfortune. 

As Jaejoong remained silent in his moment of solitude and regret, or moping as Mikyung would call it, he was startled upon hearing the door of the art room open. In an attempt to look natural, he reached for a clump of clay kept himself busy. He sent the stranger a secretive glance, inwardly hoping she wouldn't think oddly of his presence in the room or the shattered bits of pottery which covered his table. 

[exjaejoongxbw]

⋆ Stains of Dirtied Pawprints ;; Jaejoong & Kimberley

The coming chill of winter reminds me of your touch.  Nights you'd spend by my side, murmuring words of sweetness. Some nights I foolishly believe I still hear your voice. Is this love, or fear?

The leathered book was closed, settled down to rest in his lap as the male gazed up at the sky. It was clear and without a cloud, the broad blue nearly as warm as the bright sun. Jaejoong sighed, letting his tiring eyelids gently fall closed. It had been such a long, stressful day that it felt soothing to sit secluded on the bench. He wished for an escape, a distraction of any kind. With winter came the uprising of painful memories and mistakes, reckless decisions he'd rather forget. 

"Are you going to stay here much longer? Will you follow me if I were to leave?" He seemed to ask the sky, his voice as soft as the loveliest of velvet. Though his questioning is directed to something below, whose nose is buried in a dirt patch just beside Jaejoong's bench. He sends the pup a judging look, her fur covered in dirt as a result of playing in the bushes. "It's been twenty minutes already. If you don't return to your owner soon, you'll be sent off to the pound. Do you want that?"

Almost as if the dog understands him, she turns her head in a hurry, her eyes wide and fearful. "Yeah, I didn't think so. Come here." Jaejoong patted the seat, thankful as the dog hurried over and jumped up beside him. Most canines had a shared despise for the innocent man, so to be treated with such respect was a pleasant surprise. "Now... What are we going to do with you, hm?" 

After minutes of one-sided conversation passed, Jaejoong concluded that the wisest choice would be to take the homeless pup, 'Kylie' was the name imprinted on her tag, to his dorm until her owner found her himself. This proved to be most unwise, because no more than an hour later Jaejoong's carpet was covered in millions of tiny, brown pawprints belonging to none other than Kylie. Hopeless, he heaved another sigh. 

Then suddenly, he heard distressed knocking on his door. 

[exjaejoongxbw]

Let the Memories Drown // { Self Para }

Before entering those towering gates he needed to let go. So he walked to the end of the pier, the ocean deep and promising yet oh so terrifying. He dropped everything into its choppy waves; everything that created such foreboding weight on his delicate shoulders. He tossed away his crayon drawings that were coated in coal, the snapped umbrella, and those colourless tapes of the mischievous cat.

Sometimes he'd tie a ribbon around them and attach a small pebble, as to be sure that the memory would sink directly to the bottom.

He threw away the beautiful figure which he'd almost foolishly fallen in love with. Her mystique smile and the caring warmth in her eyes soon followed. Farewell, he whispered, as he rid of her cherry red dress and his busted converses. He dropped the gazes of disgust, betrayal and disappointment. The magazines hidden under matresses and torn out diary entries that gave away what should be drowned.

He remembered the touch of the woman who loved him too much; too dangerously and wickedly. There were still nights where he'd awaken in fright, believing he'd heard her soothing voice.

He remembered the abandonment which coursed through his veins. Looking above he saw a flock of seagulls. A lone gull trailed far behind the flock, and he realised that even if left abandoned he will fly.

He remembered the nights he'd spent alone, just like that gull. Nights in which his wings bled and he was rendered immobile, the only music being that of his pathetic cries. He threw away his pillow, too, and the tear stains that told endless secrets.

And yet as he stood he found himself unable to finish the job; to free his mind of the poisonous memories. He tucked the pebble in his pocket, along with his memories and turned his back. Perhaps a part of him wished that the pebbles were not heavy enough, and those painful memories would resurface. Because he left without watching them drown, the waves behind him continuing to crash and roar. 

The ocean is terrifying and deep, a hell he daren't go near again anytime soon. It held unspoken secrets and forbidden tales. 

And for a fleeting moment, he considered running back and throwing his whole self against its waves.