bespeckled beauty

Kim Jaejoong. nineteen. band geek. “On the footpath I usually walk down, I felt a trace of you. I quietly close my eyes and pray that it will never go away" ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫

[exjaejoongxbw]

hiatus;

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[tiffanybw-deactivated20140424]

【 interwining souls 】|| jaejoong & tiffany

━ Soft raindrops pelted against the red umbrella, and in its wake, a dense fog steamed up the usually clear glasses of closing shops. The patter of wet droplets hitting hard surfaces surrounded the area – making it the only audible noise in the slight appearance of the night. The darkened street – so vastly open – dimmed with each flickering movement of the street lights, and it painted her pale skin with spots of shadow and moonlight and a fading tinted orange glow with each daring step that she took forward. The time was well past midnight, but still she roamed the streets when it was clearly dark and deserted due to the downpour of the euphoric rain. Not a soul was in sight. No movement of others can be felt. It was she and the dreary nature as she moved forward in the unexpected rain with tired attempts of trying to reach her destination soon. While she was a lady of nature, for she can be appreciative in the most uncommon and unexpected way, she held no fondness for walking in the rain. Despite the steady shelter of a red umbrella, the heaviness of soaked pants cling tightly to fragile skin.

Illuminations shone against dimness - signs flickered with florescent glow. Bright neon signs blurred as fuzzy rain, but it splashed the darken pavements with an array of lightening. Blinking, the lights accompanied her silently on this late walk from an irrational job to her warm sanctuary - her room. Poisoned amber liquid laced with sweet floral perfume; she smelt of cheap liquor and expensive flower. Feebleminded bystanders would define her by the distinctive smell, and oftentimes, they would be mistaken for she was not a lady of the night looking for refuge and riches from desperate men. Nor was she a fallen angel indulging in corrupting the mundane with mind altering substances. She was a healer, not a destroyer, but believable facade made unbelievable by the turbulences of life. Ethereal features have the ability to warp into monstrosity given the right opportunity, and little red riding hood could be the big bad wolf in innocent disguise. 

Her destination - the not so grand Bullworth Academy - appeared as a sharp corner turn was made, enhancing the serene curvature to her porcelain visage. The beauty of the night did not escape her, and as the drizzle continued, the stars managed to shine brighter against the dark hue haziness. It was simply and absolutely - “breathtaking.” Pale divinity uttered out as the sudden ache in her heart intensified as a forgotten name haunted locked memories. Is he looking at the same sky as well? Like he has always done?

Yes, she could feel it - he would be peering up at this mystical sight with an exquisite smile on his face. A rarity. A defined beauty. The deepest wound left on her overly fragile heart.

Do you see what I see, JaeJoong? In this eternal sky - can you feel me?

[exjaejoongxbw]

A garden; secluded from the world and barren of any pandemonium. All to be heard was the pattering of raindrops against feeble leaves which sheltered the lonesome figure below. He and the garden shared interchangeable qualities; both bearers of withering beauty which was always overlooked by passersby. People only see what they wish; never do they dare dig deeper to the buried veracity within the soil. The weakening roots are of no concern to them as they say "My, what a beautiful garden."  before turning and continuing their stress free lives. And the garden, though beautiful, is left forgotten. However he does not forget, nor does he abandon. Therefore he and the garden are at peace; a mutual understanding of each other binding them together. Nights of the wind's whispers and the sky's navy blanket were tranquil, a necessity for one like he whose mind was constantly crowded. So he relaxed; back against the tree's strong trunk as he watched the rain fall.

He was a guardian. Of the garden, his loved ones, and himself. Fearful of the world seeing his true self he keeps it protected; remaining as only a beauty born to be forgotten. The moment a crack is revealed he escapes so that the witness would not suffer. He stared as ripples formed on the water's surface, such a contrast to the big blue's thunderous waves which made him tremble. In the warping reflection he saw the stars. If he raised his heavy head he could see the jewels twinkling mysteriously against their velvet blanket; the distance light years away no matter how far he stretched his hand. He searched the stars for unspoken answers, the secrets which the held captive. He'd play dot-to-dot as if the constellations would guide him to his destiny. The wondering soul knows no rest. He imagined a shooting star; a glimpse of a wish. But he was never one for wishes nor prayers, not when the result of betrayal was certain.

(And yet -- in his mind he begged for the happiness of her soul, that at least she was able to smile warmly to melt the winter gaze of one who deserved it)

Red carnations paled in the light of the moon, signalling the time of his departure. He rose in the sanctuary; deep orbs lingering on the natural satellite. Somewhere amongst his fragmented memories he'd developed an undying love for the mystique beauty of the moon. The dragging of darkness was nothing when the moon was in view, and unknowingly a ghost of a smile would form on his pretty lips every time. Leaving the garden with promises of tomorrow, he was halted as soon as he turned. A woman stood before him with beauty far beyond that of the moon. Her porcelain mien brought his heart to his throat, those fragmented memories piecing together to create a flood of emotions. He begged his body to flee; escape this cruel hallucination before he would be unable to control his emotions. In the past he'd pull her into a loving embrace, murmuring apologies into her silky locks as he swore to never let her go. Then suddenly in a heart wrenching twist of fate she would disappear from his desperate hold; or push him away with hatred spilling from those delicate lips. So he remained inarticulate, motionless, mentally bidding the illusion farewell before he'd fall all over again.

[exjaejoongxbw]

[ scattered memories ] chapter i ;; tale of abandonment

13.5.1999

Dear Diary

I played with the other boys today. They always play soccer and tell my I'm weird and girly if I don't join them. But when I did play today I was really clumsy and couldn't kick the ball very far. Everybody laughed at me, so I think it's all over. I just want to sing. I don't like sport. Sport is stupid. 

After dinner I asked mother why I was left at the orphanage. I thought that maybe my real mother and father knew I would be a weird girly boy who isn't good at sport, so they left me when they could. But mother said that isn't true, and I am actually the most amazing boy she knows.

She told me that Mikyung was a 'vulgar' woman. She told me that one day when I was real little Mikyung took me to the beach to play. I couldn't swim so I had to hold onto her hand real tight. But mother said that a handsome man came by and distracted her, so she let go of my hand. I nearly drowned. A stranger had to save me while Mikyung was distracted by the man. Then Mikyung got scared and sent me to the orphanage before leaving with the handsome to America.

I don't remember any of that day, but mother says it's because I was so scared I blocked the memory away. She promises she'll never get scared and leave me. She'll always be here, and tomorrow we're going to bake a cake together. I can't wait.

- Jaejoong.

[inboxideas]

Stories from my Childhood

Send a  ☂ for a sad story

Send a ☀ for a happy story

Send a シ for an embarrassing story

Send a ☃ for a holiday story

Send a ✉ for a traveling story

[whoneverknewlove]

Mind you, sometimes the angels smoke, hiding it with their sleeves, and when the archangel comes, they throw the cigarettes away: that’s when you get shooting stars.

- vladimir nabokov 

[jamins]

[exjaejoongxbw]

Leo quietly slipped his head around the door of his new dorm room, sable eyes glancing left and right around the spacious, apparently-empty room. He wasn't sure if his dorm-mate was here at the moment and so the goth slid into the room and shut the door behind him with a very quiet click after setting his tattered bags down by his feet.

The doom was quiet that night; as it always was. Jaejoong prefered it that way; he embraced the emptiness and enjoyed playing guitar without worrying about disturbing others.Though the room also carried a foreboding air. But why? Because of the previous owners suicide that although never took place in the dorm itself, it still caused a chill in the otherwise peaceful atmosphere.  

Perhaps a small part of Jaejoong wanted company — after living with sisters who bore three stomachs each he now had the habit of cooking too much for a slim man like himself. So upon hearing of the arrival of his new roommate, although nervous and somewhat disappointed the room wasn’t only is anymore, he stayed behind after work to bake the stranger a batch of vanilla cookies. The singer thought it was rather lame, but he did so anyway.

By the time he returned to his dorm all the lights were off; no sign of the room mate in sight. He left the container of treats by the stranger’s door, leaving it there so he could find it whenever he left the room. Jaejoong didn’t want to rudely interrupt him, but he’d always been taught to never greet someone without a gift. Therefore, after numerous rewrites and tapping of pen against chin he stuck a note on the container before silently disappearing into his own room. 

'For you, my new room mate.I don’t know if you like cookies — in fact maybe you hate them which would be quite a shame and I apologize if that’s the case. But I made these for you anyway. If you don’t like them, I won’t mind. Do what you like. Welcome to Bullworth. - Kim Jaejoong.’

[play-listings]

Visit Original Link

Misguided Ghosts - Paramore Would someone care to classify Our broken hearts and twisted minds So I can find someone to rely on And run to them, full speed ahead

[exjaejoongxbw]

⋆ Picking Up Shattered Pieces ;; Jaejoong & Hayi

Art comes in many forms; the complicated yet meaningful constellations of lyrics, the emotional and melodic way of music, or even the simple stroke of a brush which held so many possibilities of becoming a masterpiece. Jaejoong craved to learn and truly experience them all, no matter how hard the task. He knew it was not beyond the bounds of possibility, for he'd already fallen for so many and the creativity which flowed through him was undeniable.

And yet, he was rendered into disbelief has the pottery work he'd tried so long and fought so hard to create was broken into unrecognizable pieces. Blown apart. Fragmented. Shattered just like his dreams. Perhaps he was being melodramatic as he stayed behind after class, hopeless eyes still on what remained of his soon due assignment. Jaejoong just could not understand his own misfortune. 

As Jaejoong remained silent in his moment of solitude and regret, or moping as Mikyung would call it, he was startled upon hearing the door of the art room open. In an attempt to look natural, he reached for a clump of clay kept himself busy. He sent the stranger a secretive glance, inwardly hoping she wouldn't think oddly of his presence in the room or the shattered bits of pottery which covered his table. 

[exjaejoongxbw]

⋆ Stains of Dirtied Pawprints ;; Jaejoong & Kimberley

The coming chill of winter reminds me of your touch.  Nights you'd spend by my side, murmuring words of sweetness. Some nights I foolishly believe I still hear your voice. Is this love, or fear?

The leathered book was closed, settled down to rest in his lap as the male gazed up at the sky. It was clear and without a cloud, the broad blue nearly as warm as the bright sun. Jaejoong sighed, letting his tiring eyelids gently fall closed. It had been such a long, stressful day that it felt soothing to sit secluded on the bench. He wished for an escape, a distraction of any kind. With winter came the uprising of painful memories and mistakes, reckless decisions he'd rather forget. 

"Are you going to stay here much longer? Will you follow me if I were to leave?" He seemed to ask the sky, his voice as soft as the loveliest of velvet. Though his questioning is directed to something below, whose nose is buried in a dirt patch just beside Jaejoong's bench. He sends the pup a judging look, her fur covered in dirt as a result of playing in the bushes. "It's been twenty minutes already. If you don't return to your owner soon, you'll be sent off to the pound. Do you want that?"

Almost as if the dog understands him, she turns her head in a hurry, her eyes wide and fearful. "Yeah, I didn't think so. Come here." Jaejoong patted the seat, thankful as the dog hurried over and jumped up beside him. Most canines had a shared despise for the innocent man, so to be treated with such respect was a pleasant surprise. "Now... What are we going to do with you, hm?" 

After minutes of one-sided conversation passed, Jaejoong concluded that the wisest choice would be to take the homeless pup, 'Kylie' was the name imprinted on her tag, to his dorm until her owner found her himself. This proved to be most unwise, because no more than an hour later Jaejoong's carpet was covered in millions of tiny, brown pawprints belonging to none other than Kylie. Hopeless, he heaved another sigh. 

Then suddenly, he heard distressed knocking on his door. 

[exjaejoongxbw]

+ meet the kims

[exjaejoongxbw]

Let the Memories Drown // { Self Para }

Before entering those towering gates he needed to let go. So he walked to the end of the pier, the ocean deep and promising yet oh so terrifying. He dropped everything into its choppy waves; everything that created such foreboding weight on his delicate shoulders. He tossed away his crayon drawings that were coated in coal, the snapped umbrella, and those colourless tapes of the mischievous cat.

Sometimes he'd tie a ribbon around them and attach a small pebble, as to be sure that the memory would sink directly to the bottom.

He threw away the beautiful figure which he'd almost foolishly fallen in love with. Her mystique smile and the caring warmth in her eyes soon followed. Farewell, he whispered, as he rid of her cherry red dress and his busted converses. He dropped the gazes of disgust, betrayal and disappointment. The magazines hidden under matresses and torn out diary entries that gave away what should be drowned.

He remembered the touch of the woman who loved him too much; too dangerously and wickedly. There were still nights where he'd awaken in fright, believing he'd heard her soothing voice.

He remembered the abandonment which coursed through his veins. Looking above he saw a flock of seagulls. A lone gull trailed far behind the flock, and he realised that even if left abandoned he will fly.

He remembered the nights he'd spent alone, just like that gull. Nights in which his wings bled and he was rendered immobile, the only music being that of his pathetic cries. He threw away his pillow, too, and the tear stains that told endless secrets.

And yet as he stood he found himself unable to finish the job; to free his mind of the poisonous memories. He tucked the pebble in his pocket, along with his memories and turned his back. Perhaps a part of him wished that the pebbles were not heavy enough, and those painful memories would resurface. Because he left without watching them drown, the waves behind him continuing to crash and roar. 

The ocean is terrifying and deep, a hell he daren't go near again anytime soon. It held unspoken secrets and forbidden tales. 

And for a fleeting moment, he considered running back and throwing his whole self against its waves. 

[x-bullworthacademy]

Registering Student Information: Kim Jaejoong

19 Years Old ✚ 3rd Year ✚ Band Geek ✚ Dorm 1B ✚ Homeroom A ✚ Part-time Chef @ Paprika

Personality

As Jaejoong presents himself these days, many people will view him as a quiet boy who is rarely seen; as he spends most of his time in the music room. He is a kind and normal person who is friendly to all despite his shy exterior. However, many don’t know about the zealous personality that still dwells inside him. The side that is bursting with confidence and is banging at the bars to be freed. The only time someone can witness this is when he’s performing, though they never will. Jaejoong keeps his true self under lock and key, fearful of what could happen otherwise.

History

Han Mikyung was a troubled woman; her head trapped dangerously amongst the clouds which she exhaled out of her cherry red lips. One reckless night filled with too much alcohol and that sexy guy across the dance floor lead to a burden; a mistake. She gave birth to the child nonetheless, though she’d heavily considered abortion. Once the child was born she handed the baby boy to an adoption center before running away to live in Las Vegas.

The child, Han Jaejun, grew to be very beautiful. So much in fact that he was adopted at a rather early age into a family of six. His name was changed to Kim Jaejoong, in respect of the Kim family. He didn’t mind the different all to much, even if he was surrounded by girls who wanted to play dress up. Because all he wanted was to be wanted. With his new family he was loved greatly, and as time passed by he’d learnt to cherish every member with his whole heart. They are his true family. 

Jaejoong quickly became a child driven by aspirations and dreams that shined like fireworks. His adoptive mother, who he now calls his real mother, saw the sparks that lit in the child’s eyes and therefore taught him how to play the guitar. He fell in love in an instant, practicing every night and boasting how he’d turn into a rockstar. People scoffed whenever he claimed this, for he was tone-deaf and could never hold a note. His mother was the only one who believed him. WIth her encouragement he tried harder and harder to reach his dream.

In primary school he was a loser with a hopeless dream. In high school, he was admired by all. Hanging out with the right people made him one of the most popular kids in school. His skills with music improved rapidly, so soon all the girls were swooning over the pretty boy with the angelic voice. Jaejoong was bursting with life, evolving his whole world around the magic of music. He befriended all and his popularity grew, causing him to spend less time with his family.

Still, what brought him the most joy wasn’t the squealing girls nor the sense of acceptance he’d always craved; it was the sparkling pride that swam in his mother’s gentle eyes.

Everything changed when illness struck the Kim family. His mother, the woman who’d inspired him so much, was diagnosed with cancer. Grief hit the family like a tidal wave as her sickness only got worse. Desperate to somehow heal her, Jaejoong abandoned his training and studies to work for more money. Though the family tried their hardest, there was no hope. Jaejoong’s mother passed away listening to the strumming of his guitar and his broken singing.

One and a half years have passed since, and now the Kims have moved to Seoul in hopes of finding happiness and rebuilding their once perfect family. Wanting to start his schooling fresh, Jaejoong decided to attend Bullworth Academy that although rough around the edges it is also lower than most schools costing wise. He dropped his nearly cocky attitude and charisma for a more silent personality. In Bullworth Jaejoong simply wants to get good grades and keep a low profile.

The rockstar life is simply not for him.

» ｓｕｒｖｅｙ

How did you hear about Bullworth Academy?

"I came to the Autumn Festival with my sisters. They didn’t like it but I thought it was interesting."

What do you like about Bullworth Academy?

"The students here seem pretty carefree. Though some of them are a little on the scary side."

What would you like to see here at Bullworth Academy?

"A better uniform, please."

[exjaejoongxbw]

“He took his pain and turned it into something beautiful. Into something that people connect to. And that's what good music does. It speaks to you. It changes you.”

Hannah Harrington, Saving June

[heropeia]

“You’re so calm and quiet, you never say. But there are things inside you. I see them sometimes, hiding in your eyes.”