Summary: While Jake is worn down and restless on tour, the rare night you finally connect on the phone leaves him so overwhelmed by your voice that his longing spills over.
Content Warnings: long distance (kind of), SMUT 18+ INCLUDING: male masturbation, auditory stimulus, phone sex, horny jake, sexual deprivation, cum.
You sank into bed, the light of your phone slicing through the dark. It was finally 9pm, the hour you and Jake had set for your call. Your heart leapt as the phone buzzed, his name glowing on the screen.
Two endless weeks had dragged on with hardly a word shared. Time zones, your grueling day job, his late night performances, and the punishing pace of his nonstop tour had kept you apart. Jake was beyond exhausted, the relentless schedule leaving him no time for himself, not even a fleeting moment to ease his sexual frustration, the pent up desire simmering beneath his weariness
You answered on the first ring, voice brimming with longing.
“Hey, baby, I missed you.”
Your words slipped out, and on the other end Jake felt them hit like a spark. He lay sprawled in his cramped tour bus bunk, the thin curtain shielding him from the hum of the road and the snores of his bandmates.
He was in nothing but a worn t-shirt and boxers, tangled under a thin blanket, his hair a mess from restless tossing. Your voice, that sweet, familiar cadence, shot straight to his core. He felt himself harden almost immediately, a flush of shame creeping up his neck. But despite the twinge of embarrassment, his hand wandered down to his waistband, fingers brushing the elastic.
He shifted, a low hum escaping his throat, trying to keep his cool.
“Hmm, missed you too, darling,” he murmured, voice husky, rough and frayed from fatigue and pent up energy.
You sank deeper into your pillows, clutching the phone tighter. “It’s been too long, Jake. I miss hearing from you.” Your words were soft, but there was a crack in them, an ache. You’d missed him so much it hurt— his laugh, his touch, the way he’d pull you close and hum a melody against your skin.
Jakes knuckles brushed the curve of his shaft and he exhaled sharply, the sound almost a groan. With a rush of realisation, he reprimanded himself silently, moving his hand away from his waistband and resting it on his thigh instead.
He cleared his throat, forcing a steadier tone. “I know sweetheart, I know. We’ll find a way to call more regularly, promise. So, what’ve you been up to this week? Tell me everything.”
You smiled at the question, even though he couldn’t see it, and launched into the details. “Just the usual chaos at work. Monday was a nightmare. My boss dumped this huge project on me last minute, and I spent the whole day buried in spreadsheets. But Tuesday was better; I met up with Sarah for coffee, and we talked about that new café downtown. She said the lattes are amazing so I’ll check it out with her next week and let you know how it is…” You let out a small huff of laughter as you continued talking, and the sound stuck vividly in Jake’s mind, conjuring the exact curve of your lips when you giggled like that.
Jake listened, his eyes closing as your voice washed over him, sobering and intoxicating all at once. He didn’t realize his hand had drifted until he felt his fingers slipping beneath his boxers again, lightly palming his hard on. The sound of your voice sent a jolt through him, making his breath hitch. He was too far gone to stop now, the pent-up frustration melting into a hazy need.
“…and then on Wednesday, I finally got around to reorganizing the closet. Found that old guitar pick of yours that you lost. It was lodged in the back corner in a crack in the wood— you know, the black one with the green markings? I sent you a picture when I found it— made me think of you all over again,” you continued, your voice softening with a sigh that felt like it brushed against his skin.
Made me think of you, seared into his mind, painting a crystal clear image of you holding that pick, your fingers tracing it the way you used to trace his jaw. His fist wrapped around his cock, stroking slowly to the rhythm of your voice, each syllable like a caress against his frayed nerves.
Two weeks of longing, of restless nights and stolen moments thinking of you, had left him raw, and now your voice was unraveling him completely.
You kept going, oblivious to the effect you were having. “Wednesday was kind of slow other than that. Left your pick on your nightstand for when you get home to me.”
Home to me, home to me, home to me. His fist picked up some speed, thumb gliding over the head of his cock.
“And Thursday, I tried cooking that pasta recipe you like, but I swear I messed up the sauce…” A soft chuckle escaped you, and Jake’s mind latched onto it, picturing the way your eyes crinkled at the corners, the way your laugh always felt like a secret shared just with him.
His strokes grew steadier, his breath shallow as he clung to every word, every small sound. The buildup inside him was intense, a slow burn that had been smoldering for weeks, now flaring hot and now so, so urgent. Your voice, soft, and laced with that intimate grace it always held was enough to push his imagination to the edge. He could see you so clearly, like the image had been burned into the back of his eyelids, straddling him, leaning down, your breath against his neck. His hand drove faster, though he kept it quiet, biting his lip to stifle the sounds threatening to spill out.
You paused, the silence stretching. “Jake? You still there?”
He grunted, caught off guard, his hand freezing for a moment. “Hm? Oh, yeah, yeah, I’m here,” he managed, voice strained, thick with the effort of holding himself together. “Keep going. What about… fr–Friday?” The words stumbled out, his mind foggy with the sensation of his fist, pretending it was you instead, your warmth, your touch.
“Okay, baby,” you said with a giggle, the words sending a fresh wave of heat through him. He could picture you saying it, your lips parted just so, your voice dipping into that tender tone you used only for him. His hand moved again, faster now, as you went back to your story. “Friday was a mess, honestly. I burned my eggs in the morning and the house smelt of smoke all day…” Your voice flowed on, light and teasing, peppered with little sighs and huffs of laughter that stuck in his mind like snapshots, each one vivid, each one pushing him closer to the edge. The pressure inside him coiled tighter. Your voice was everything, his anchor, his undoing, the only thing grounding him in that cramped bunk.
He let out a low groan, half whimper, unable to hold it back as the sensation crested. You stopped mid sentence, voice catching. “Jake? You okay?”
“Y— hh– yeah,” he managed to breathe out, chest heaving now. But you’d gone silent. Too silent.
“Are you sure? You sound kind of… I don't know…?”
His breath was heavy, the rustle of sheets faint but unmistakable through the phone. “Mhmmm,” he managed, the sound strained, almost pleading. “Just… keep talking, please. Please keep talking.”
You flushed, a sudden heat creeping up your cheeks as you caught the edge in his voice, the uneven rhythm of his breathing, the soft rustle in the background. Realisation dawned, and you bit your lip, heart racing. How long had he been…
You didn’t call it out, didn’t stop, just leaned into the moment, your voice softer now, deliberately intimate.
“Okay, baby,” you murmured again, and Jake’s mind clung to the way you said it, the word wrapping around him like a touch. “Yesterday, I went for a walk by the wharf, and the sunset was so pretty, all pink and gold, made me think of you…” You paused, your voice dropping lower, a hint of suggestion curling around your words. “I missed you the most that day… went to bed and… touched myself… thought of you…”
Jake’s head threw back against the pillow, eyes squeezed shut as your words painted a vivid picture— your body tangled in sheets, whispering his name into the dark, your fingers moving against your delicate skin, your face contorted in pleasure as you came undone thinking of him.
His fist pumped faster, the image so clear it was almost real, each stroke pulling him closer to the edge. You knew now, knew what he was doing, and you leaned into it, your voice a teasing caress. “I wondered if you were touching yourself too… thinking about me as well? I hoped you were…”
He moaned loudly, the sound raw and desperate. “Oh, fuck, baby…” he gasped, his voice barely holding together as the pressure inside him climbed, climbed, climbed.
Your voice kept going, each word deliberate, dripping with intent. “I could almost feel you there, Jake, your hands on me, your mouth…”
The images burned into his mind, your sighs and soft laughs from earlier mixing with these new, suggestive words, each one pushing him higher. His body tensed, the weeks of pent up frustration boiling over, his fist a poor substitute for you but driven by the sound of your voice alone.
You kept talking, guiding him through it. “I thought about how you’d feel inside me… I wanted it to be you so bad, baby…”
Your words hit him hard, flooding his mind with need. He gripped himself tighter, imagining the steady pump of his fist was the warm, snug feel of you.
His head careened into the pillow, body arching as he hit his orgasm, cumming hard over his fist, spilling into his boxers with a shuddering groan that he couldn’t hold back. His breath came in ragged gasps, the pleasure crashing through him in waves, amplified by the sound of your voice still in his ear, soft and knowing.
You listened to his heavy breathing as he came down, a quiet smile in your voice as you murmured, “Still with me, baby?”
He let out a shaky laugh, chest heaving, the aftershocks still rippling through him. “Yeah… fuck, yeah, I’m here,” he panted, voice raw. His body sank into the mattress as the last tremors faded.
Your voice curled through the phone, playful but tender. “Oh, baby, sounds like you've been saving that one up.”
He let out a tired chuckle, dragging a hand across his damp forehead. “You have no idea. This tour’s been brutal. Haven’t had a second to… y’know, take care of that since I left.”
“Two weeks?” you teased, your voice soft but playful. “God, babe, you must’ve been running on empty.”
“Hmph, barely hanging on,” he mumbled, a faint grin in his voice as he shifted, the sheets rustling.
You laughed softly, knowing how he always crashed hard after. “Well, I don’t wanna keep you up, rockstar. Sounds like you’re barely keeping your eyes open.”
“No, no, wait,” he said quickly, his voice softening, almost pleading. “Stay, please. Keep talking. I… I missed your voice so much.”
You smiled through the phone, your tone turning gentle. “Okay, love. I’m right here.”
“Tell me about that project you’ve got at work,” he murmured curiously, wanting to hold onto you a little longer.
You tucked your arm under your head, settling into the pillow with a soft sigh. “Okay,” you said, your voice warm as you started talking about the latest challenge at work, the deadlines, the little wins, and the frustrating client calls.
Jake listened, his breathing slowing, the familiar timbre of your voice wrapping around him like a blanket. As you spoke, his responses faded to soft hums, and soon, his quiet snores whispered through the phone, lulling you both into a shared, peaceful sleep.
Tag List: @frogkiszka @hailtheaeon @allof--mylove @scarabsinthestardust @musicislove3389 @lightsofthe-living-gvf
When a soul has suffered enough pain - it becomes that of a shell. A place no one can infiltrate, sacred and dark - and all alone. Jake and Alaska both closed off their souls to the rest of the world a long time ago, convinced that love would never be in the cards. They didn’t want it - they practically rejected it. Jake’s band Greta Van Fleet and Alaska’s band Icarus Casus were slowly becoming the most prominent rocks bands of their generation. But when they decided to take a month long trip together to the Chattanooga mountains to focus on their new albums - everything changed.
What happens when two souls, shut off from the world and all alone, find each other. Do they help rebuild what was broken - or do they burn everything to the ground.
PAIRING: Jake Kiszka x Alaska (Lassie) Jones (Original Character)
Genre: Enemies to friends to lovers; slowburn (kinda)
Warnings: 18+ (minors BE GONE); Struggles with depression, death, low self worth; use of drugs and alcohol; Car crashes that include death; sexual encounters if you will; Asshole Jake; (Review warnings specific to each chapter)
Current Word Count: 19.9k so far...
A/N:
Heyy all of my fellow Jake lovers. Decided to write a story about my favourite person ever - you can guess who that is. This stories ambiance, vibe, very soul (whatever you wanna call it) was based off of my favourite song from Greta’s most recent album, the song Waited All Your Life and I highly recommend listening before you read - it will put you in the exact place you should be. Something about that song bleeds 10 different emotions, and I felt awfully inspired to put out some (hopefully) half-decent literature to all of us J.T.K. and G.V.F. enthusiasts.
I more so wrote this as a hobby, for myself, because I live vicariously and religiously through the amazing work you guys put out and through these fictional stories (I HAVE to get a life) - and decided why not share with the group.
Note: We are starting out with 10 chapters... expect more once they are all released - this shit will be full lengthhhhh.
Summary: You and Jake had thrown a small dinner party so he could discuss things regarding the new album. You were bored most of the day since his attention was mainly drawn towards the boys so you decide to play a little game...
Warnings: Adult Content 18+ MINORS DNI! Language, Heavy Smut, Choking, Hair Pulling, Name Calling, Penetration, Oral (M & F Receiving), Handcuffs, Personal Massager, Gagging.
Word Count: 7.7K
M A S T E R L I S T
Jake was pissed. Pissed was honestly an understatement, but it was your fault for getting yourself into this situation, and honestly? You didn’t even care. You were thrilled. A little scared of what was to come, but more excited than anything.
Jake had talked to you a couple of days ago about having his brothers over for dinner to discuss the new album. You agreed since you enjoyed their company, but when the day came, you didn’t realize Jake would pay you almost no attention. Not that you needed it, but if you knew it was going to be that way you would’ve invited a friend to keep you company.
The morning had started with a heated make-out session but it never went any further than that even though you both were wound up. Jake had a lot to do when it came to prepping, and you decided to help him. He threw his ideas at you that he was going to pitch to the boys and they were all great, but it was all he was talking about the entire day. Sure, you knew he was nervous but even for just a few minutes you wanted to talk about a different topic, you didn’t even care what it was.
You were extremely supportive of Jake and you were beyond proud of how far he and the boys have come, but he’s been so busy with this new album and it wouldn’t be long until he would leave for tour again and you would be left alone. It was one of the things you dreaded about your relationship. You were hoping there was a chance you would get to go on this leg of the tour but you weren’t going to hold your hopes high.
Jake had run off to take a quick shower, leaving you to do the rest of the food prep. There wasn’t much left but you would’ve preferred his help to get it done quicker. You could hear the shower running upstairs and music was muffled from the speaker you left in the bathroom. You continued chopping up some fruit and it wasn’t long before you heard the water shut off.
The timing was almost perfect since there was a knock on the door and you could hear the three obnoxious boys outside. You wiped your sticky hands off with a wet paper towel and dried them off on your skirt. You gave your appearance a once over in the mirror in your living room before you went to open the door. You wore one of Jake’s t-shirts that was tied in the front to resemble a crop top and a black skirt that hit around the middle of your thighs.
“Hey guys, so good to see you!” You gave a friendly smile to your boyfriend's brothers and let them inside. Josh gave you a quick peck on the check and you did the same as you gave him a quick hug. You hugged Sam and Danny and lead them towards the kitchen where you continued to do your prep.
"Hey mama, how are you?" Josh greeted before going to sit at the bar along the counter.
“Where’s Jake? Why is he leaving you to do all the work?” Sam asked. You laughed and shook your head. He went to the sink and washed his hands before grabbing a knife from one of the drawers and started cutting up so veggies.
“He just got out of the shower. He was helping me earlier, he should be down in a minute.” You finished cutting up some strawberries and put them into a large glass bowl.
“How have you been, Y/N? We haven’t seen you in a while.” Danny piped up. You looked up at him as he was sitting across from you at the bar. You shrugged and began washing some blackberries.
“It’s been okay. Just trying to finish up school and I’ve been working a lot. What about you guys? I’ve missed having you guys around.” You responded simply.
You used to have the boys over almost every night. There was always something going on, whether it was a fire, having a movie night, or even just drinking to get drunk. You loved having them around and they were like family to you. They were all extremely protective but they knew in the end that you were Jake’s, and only Jake’s.
“Hey, guys.” Jake appeared in the kitchen and smiled lightly at them. His hair was still damp but you scanned his body, a small wave of heat rushing to your core. It was crazy how just looking at him made you feel some type of way, but you just knew he was the one. His outfit was simple. A black shirt that only had a few of the bottom buttons buttoned, a pair of light wash jeans, a pair of his favorite boots, and he had on a couple of necklaces that hung down onto his chest. It wasn’t something that was out of the ordinary for him to wear but just right at this moment, he looked extremely sexy.
“Making the misses do all the work?” Sam teased.
“I know right? He never even helps me.” You playfully rolled your eyes and Jake shook his head.
“Did you tell them that I didn’t help you? That’s not even true!” He sat a glass of wine in front of you and opened a beer for himself.
“Yeah, she did. She told us how she isn’t satisfied in bed either and she might need help from a real man.” Josh chimed in. You gasped at his crude comment and started rapidly shaking your head.
“Josh shut up that is not even close to being true. I did tell them that you were helping me, they're just being assholes.” You turned towards Jake and leaned your head on him. Josh laughed and Jake just glared at him.
This conversation was one of the first things that pissed Jake off.
About a half hour later all of the side dishes were done and all Jake had to do was finish grilling. You decided to keep it simple with some hamburgers and hotdogs, and a couple of the vegan ones for Sam. The five of you sat around the table that was on your back deck and the boys began talking about upcoming promotions.
You weren’t paying too much attention to their conversation, considering most of it you didn’t even understand. They talked about what they were going to do for the promotions, what they should do for merch, what songs they should release as singles, and the list just kept going on and on. Out of all of the things that they talked about, the merch and music were really all that made sense to you. You sat there quietly eating your food, moving things around with a fork just waiting for the dinner to be over with so you could have Jake to yourself for the rest of the evening. You sipped on your wine, deciding if you should just bring out the entire bottle since you knew you'd finish it yourself or if you should just keep it classy and leave it in a glass. You decided to just keep it in a glass because you didn't need any questions from Jake or the boys. Even though it wouldn't have been the first time but now just wasn't the time.
"What do you think, babe?" Jake tapped his finger in front of you and you looked up from your plate, not even realizing you had completely zoned out from the conversation. You blinked at him a few times and he sighed, realizing you weren't paying attention.
"For the tour, what do you think a good idea for the name would be? That's one of the main things we haven't really figured out." He repeated his question and you looked back down at your food and thought for a moment. You were honestly surprised that they were even asking for your input considering they were doing most of the figuring out themselves. You thought back to the overall concept of the tour that they were going for. Since the cover and the album name were decided you realized that the color scheme was black and gold. You had even seen a couple of Josh's outfits that he would be wearing for portions of the tour as well as photoshoots.
"What about the Dreams in Gold Tour? You guys have a lot of gold for the promos and one of the songs is Weight of Dreams, I mean it would make sense." You shrugged and looked at each one of the boys to gauge their reaction. They didn't say anything and they just stared and you suddenly started to feel embarrassed for even answering his question. You should've just shrugged it off.
"Y/N, you are literally a fucking genius." Josh slammed his hands on the table, and almost spilled his drink all over the table in the process. Jake rubbed one of his feet against your ankle and smiled at you.
"I love it. I think it fits the whole vibe perfectly. Josh, you even have some gold outfits too don't you?" Sam asked. You went back to eating your food as the boys carried on the rest of their conversation. You finished your plate and quickly finished off the last portion of your wine. Jake looked at you as he licked his lips, not even meaning anything by it and the simple action sent a chill down your spine.
You grabbed your plate as well as Jake's and his empty beer bottle to take inside. You also grabbed your wine glass with the other hand and made your way toward the sliding glass door. Everybody's backs were to you for the most part besides Jakes so you decided to 'drop' a napkin. You bent over, picking it up knowing that your ass was pretty much on full display from the short skirt riding up on your legs. Ironically enough you had worn a black thong that just so happened to be Jake's favorite. You heard him cough from behind you so you stood back up and looked over your shoulder. He continued to cough and you realized he was choking on his drink.
"Hey dude, you good?" Danny asked. He turned around to look at you since Jake was looking at you in disbelief but you just made your way inside.
"Yeah no, no, I'm good, just went down the wrong pipe." Jake waved him off and he cleared his throat a couple of times. The boys carried on their conversation and you could just feel Jake's stare burning into your back. You looked at him through the glass door and his eyes were stuck on you while he held a glass of wine in his hand, giving you a look that you couldn't quite read. You held up his plate, in a way to ask if he wanted some more food. He shook his head and took another sip of his drink, returning to the conversation with his brothers.
You decided to put some more food on your plate and poured yourself another glass of wine and made your way back outside. You sat back down next to Jake this time and you picked at the variety of fruit with your fingers, not even bothering to grab a fork. You sat your left hand on Jake's lap, drawing small circles on his thigh. You tried not to make the movements obvious since this was all a part of the little game you wanted to play. You moved your hand further towards the inside of his thigh and gave a small squeeze. You could feel his body tense up.
"Y/N, are you coming on tour with us this year?" Josh asked. He took a sip of his drink and another bite of his food.
"I don't know yet. When does the first leg start? I'd love to go, but that's only if Jake thinks it's a good idea. I only have a semester left of school. As you said his name you grazed your hand over the middle of his jeans, which caused him to shift in his seat. You looked at Jake as you softly grabbed his crotch, all of the boys still oblivious as to what was going on.
"What do you think Jakey?" You brought your hand back up above the table and took a large sip of your wine. It was rare that you called him Jakey, but most of the time it was when you wanted something from him.
"I think it would be fine, what do you guys think?" Jake answered a little too quickly and you smiled behind your glass, knowing he was flustered. His hand came down onto your thigh and he gave you a warning squeeze, in a way to signal you to stop. You spread your legs a little further apart and his eyes moved down towards the skirt that was beginning to ride up against your thighs.
"I don't see why not. She hasn't been on tour with us yet. It would be a good chance for her to travel. Think of it as a graduation gift." Sam laughed and so did the other two boys, Jake on the other hand was getting fed up with your teasing actions. He tried to play it off by giving them a small smile as he nodded his head.
"Just remember we are all in very close quarters, the walls or the bunk curtains aren't soundproof." Josh raised a brow at you the two of you and you couldn't help but groan.
"You walked into our house! It's not my fault you showed up unannounced! Just be glad we weren't in the living room." Jake defended and all you could do was cover your face from embarrassment. About two months ago, you and Jake decided to have a quick session before the rest of the boys came over for a movie night. What you didn't know is that they were going to show up early and just invite themselves in. It just happened to be one of the roughest rounds of sex you and Jake ever had, and the three of them could hear you clear as day from upstairs. You only knew they were there because Josh had screamed "Oh God!" before you heard the front door slam shut.
"If it means anything Jake, she sounds heavenly. " Josh smiled at Jake before giving you a small wink, clearly just trying to get a rise out of him, and it sure as hell was working. Josh had made comments like this before and you were used to it since you knew it was all in good fun, mainly just to give him a reason to piss Jake off. Before you and Jake got together, you and Josh had actually had a small fling going on. It was nothing serious since you never slept together but you did kiss each other one night when you were both drunk at a party and you would flirt here and there, but you had always had feelings for Jake. Granted it was years ago, but occasionally Josh would bring it up as a way to get a rise out of Jake, but you still sometimes felt bad about flirting with his brother before you got together with him. They both had told you it was no big deal but for a while, you thought it was wrong. But you were over it at this point. Sometimes you could tell that the feelings still resonated with Josh but he would never overstep a boundary like that and most of the time you did notice he was drunk anyway.
"Maybe you'll have to see for yourself, Josh." You shrugged, finishing off your glass of wine.
"The other twin is always better, what can I say." Josh, Danny, and Sam just laughed since they knew you were just kidding. Jake on the other hand took it seriously and he was just starting to get more pissed off.
"Alright, enough, this isn't a 'hit-on-my-girlfriend' night," Jake mumbled. He squeezed your thigh once again and you sat your hand over the top of his, slowly scratching the top. He looked at you, and the two of you made eye contact. You could tell just from the glint in his eyes that he was getting fed up with you because he knew exactly what you were trying to do.
"I think I'm going to go for a swim, anybody want to join me?" You stood up from the table and started making your way towards the sliding glass door.
"I will! It's hot as hell out here." Sam stood up and followed behind you, and soon everybody began to follow. You started walking up the stairs when you noticed Jake coming straight for you. You skipped every other step and darted down the hallway to the bedroom. You quickly closed the door, careful to not slam it to cause a scene, and locked it. Jake knocked on the door a couple of times and you put your ear up against it.
"Y/N, enough. I know what you're trying to do. You're being a fucking brat." He knocked on the door once more and you smiled, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth.
"I'm not doing anything Jakey." You slipped your clothes off, leaving you in your black thong before you went and opened the door. Jake scanned your body with wide eyes before quickly entering the bedroom and shutting the door.
"Really? Because it sure as hell seems like something to me." He scoffed and you walked towards your dresser, sifting through your bathing suits before finding one of the most revealing ones that you could. It was a dark green string bikini. The top was a little too small for your chest but still big enough to cover the front and the bottoms exposed a good majority of your ass. You typically only wore it when you were tanning or home alone with Jake but you had a strong feeling one of the boys would say something about it. Not that you were trying to show off for them, but you really just wanted to tease Jake. Most of the time when you wore this bikini it would always get ripped off of you. You put the bikini in your hand before Jake could see which one you grabbed.
"I'm not, baby. I would never do that to you." You went up and kissed Jake on the cheek before one of his hands gripped the sides of your chin and cheeks. He held your face in place before he stared into your eyes.
"I mean it, Y/N. If you don't knock this shit off it's not going to end well." Jake said quietly as he got closer to your face. His words sent heat down to your core and all you could do was smile at him.
"Or what? What could you possibly do?" You rolled your eyes before pulling yourself away from his grip. You started walking towards the bedroom before Jake lifted you over his shoulder and tossed you down on the bed. He put his hand on the side of your head, pushing you down into the mattress before he leaned over the top of you and whispered in your ear.
"You know exactly what I'll do. Cut the shit." He applied a hard smack to your ass, just barely running his fingers over your clothed core as he removed his hand, which cause you to moan and a smile crept across your face. He stood up and walked over to the dresser to grab his swim trunks and a few other pairs for the boys. He made his way out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him, leaving you to yourself.
You stood up from the bed and quickly changed into your bikini before wrapping yourself in a towel and making your way downstairs. You walked back outside and realized all of the boys were already in the pool. They had their drinks sitting along the edge beside Josh who had his in his hand.
You walked over to the diving board and dropped your towel. Jake was the first one to lay eyes on you and you knew he was furious. Sam and Danny looked in your direction as they had the noise of you stepping on the diving board.
"That color looks great on you, Y/N." Sam complimented and you smiled at him.
"Where did you get it? I need to get it for Mackenzie." Danny's eyes were wide and you knew what he was thinking without even saying it. He looked away toward Sam, being respectful to not stare too long.
"I don't remember. I'll try and find the link for it and send it to you." You walked to the very edge of the diving board before doing a small jump and diving in, swimming right up to Jake. You pushed your hair out of your face and wiped your eyes. Jake put his hands on your waist and you skimmed your hand over his member, noticing he was already half hard.
"Are you fucking serious?" He said quietly through gritted teeth. You shrugged before swimming away from him and grabbing one of the pool floaties to lay on. You jumped up on it and laid down across the plastic material, closing your eyes from the bright sun.
"Josh, can you grab my drink please?" You asked since he was closest to the edge of the pool. He got out and made his way to the table and picked up your wine glass.
"Well, it's empty. Do you want more wine? Red or white?" He asked as he shook the empty glass.
"White please." Josh filled up your glass before getting back into the pool and swimming over to you.
"I know what you're doing, and it's working." He quickly whispered before swimming away from you. You smiled as you brought the glass to your lips and took a sip. You were surprised that he noticed since you weren't trying to be that obvious but maybe he could just tell Jake was pissed off.
The boys carried on their conversation as you lay on the raft trying your best to relax. They splashed each other as they had small arguments over things they just couldn't agree on and you laughed occasionally at their bickering. You hummed to yourself and enjoyed the warmth of the sun hitting your skin.
"I forgot sunscreen. Can I get some help with my back?" You asked as you climbed onto the concrete since your raft had floated to the edge of the pool. You went to one of the boxes that had various supplies for the pool and grabbed a bottle of sunscreen.
"I'll help." Josh piped up. You sat on the edge of the pool, rubbing sunscreen on your legs, stomach, and eventually your chest. As you rubbed it around your bathing suit, you stared at Jake who just shook his head. You handed the bottle to Josh and he put some of the white cream into his hand before applying it to your back.
"Josh, I think I can do it." Jake came over and nudged him out of the way and he began rubbing the sunscreen into your back. Josh put his hands up in defense and went over to Sam and Danny, starting to talk to him about something you couldn't quite hear. You finished off the last of your wine and it began to hit you just right, the tipsy feeling beginning to wash over you.
"Who wants to play chicken?" You asked and the boys agreed.
"I do, Y/N you're on my team." Josh piped up. He swam up to you before dunking his head under the water and you got onto his shoulders. He stood up and you rested your hands on the top of his head.
"Jake, you're on my team, Sammy you be our judge." Danny piped up.
"What if I wanted to be on Y/N's team?" Jake asked with an annoyed tone. Josh shrugged as an 'oh well' and told him that it wasn't fair for us to be on a team together since we were dating.
Jake got onto Danny's shoulders and it wasn't long before you and Jake started to push one either off of Josh or Danny's shoulders.
"Y/N, lean forwards so Jake can't push you back as easy!" Sam coached.
"Sam you're the judge! You aren't supposed to be helping her!" Danny turned his head towards him and shook his head. You did as you were told and as you leaned forward the slightest bit, Jake immediately looked at your chest. You found this as a good opportunity to give him a hard push which sent him and Danny under the water.
"Let's go! We make a great time." Josh laughed as he held out his hand to give you a high five.
You did a few more rounds before Jake eventually pushed you off, sending you and Josh into the water. You came up and ran your hands across your chest and up to your face, before wringing out your hair. You swam over to Jake and grabbed his dick through his shorts. He pulled you against him and he glared at you. You could feel him growing under your touch and you smirked at him before moving your hand slightly.
"I have to get back home to Mac, I guess there is a giant spider in the bathroom and she wants me to come home and kill it." Danny shook his head as he checked his phone. Sam was already out of the pool and dried as he had judged your other couple of games.
"I have to go to the studio for a little bit and finalize some things, Sam do you want to come with me?" Josh asked. Sam nodded his head and everybody went into the house to change. You and Jake said your goodbyes to everyone and after he closed the door you had already started to make your way towards the stairs. Jake followed behind you and it only took seconds for him to catch up to you.
"You think you're funny, don't you?" He asked. His hand wrapped around the back of your neck and he started walking you both towards the bedroom. His pace was quick and you had stumbled a bit trying to keep up with him pushing you. As you reached the bedroom he shut the door behind him and he pushed you down onto the bed as he had done earlier. You tried to stand back up but he pushed the top of your head down with his hand.
"What the fuck was all of that? We're you trying to get a rise out of me?" His voice was rough and you could feel his breath against your ear.
"I was just trying to have a little fun, Jakey." You laughed slightly and this just sent him over the edge.
"Really? Do you think it's funny to bend over and almost show them everything under your skirt? Or putting on the sluttiest bikini you own? Or having my fucking brother put sunscreen on for you instead of asking?" His voice got louder and just from him raising your voice, it made you wet. Jake was never one to get upset or raise his voice but there was just something about it that turned you on.
"I asked, he offered. Nothing you can do about it now." You deadpanned. A hard smack was applied to your ass and you moaned quietly to yourself, trying not to let Jake hear.
"I'll show you exactly what I'll do about it. Legs apart. Now." Jake growled. He put his knee in between your legs, separating them before you even had the chance to comply. He undid both of the strings that sat against your hips and pulled the bikini bottoms out from under you, exposing your heat to him.
"Look at you, already dripping. Hands behind your back, slut." He tisked and you could hear the sound of him taking off his swim trunks. You tried to lift your head to look at him but he pushed you back down into the bed. You heard the drawer of his nightstand open and close with a slam. You did as you were told and put your arms behind your back. You felt cold metal against your skin and you immediately realized what it was.
"Baby, let me touch you, please," You begged and tried your hardest to get your hands out of the cuffs but they were too tight against your wrists.
"Not tonight. Dirty little whores don't get to touch. On your knees." Jake commanded. You stood up from the bed and got on your knees in front of Jake. His cheeks were flushed from anger but all you could do was stare at his cock. Precum leaked from his pink tip and the sight made you drip.
"Open." Was all he said before you opened your mouth and he slid into you. Your lips wrapped around him and he began to shift his hips back and forth. It wasn't long before his pace sped up and he was fucking your mouth. He groaned and tilted his head back. You closed your eyes but opened them again as Jake tapped your cheek, signaling you to look at him.
"You take me so well, baby." Spit traveled down your chin, dripping down onto your thighs. Tears slipped down your cheeks from him repeatedly hitting the back of your throat. His fingers wrapped in your hair, tugging at the roots before he shoved himself down the back of your throat. He held you there for a moment before you gagged and he pulled himself out of your mouth. You took in a deep breath of air since you were only breathing from your nose. He pulled upwards on your hair, making you stand up before he pushed your chest down onto the bed.
"Is this what you wanted?" He drug his tip through your folds before slamming into you, not giving you any time to adjust. A loud moan flew past your lips and you clenched around him.
"Fuck, yes Jake," You closed your eyes and just let him take total control over your body. You so badly wanted to grip the sheets but the handcuffs stopped you from moving your hands. You balled your hands into a fist, your knuckles turning white from the pressure. Your legs began to shake and your knees began to buckle under you, causing you to fall slightly.
"Look at my pretty slut, getting fucked so hard she can't even stand." Jake cooed as he sent another sharp thrust into you. You put your face into the bed to muffle your moans.
"Come on, baby. Let me hear you. You're the one who wanted this." Jake grabbed your hair again, pulling your head back and you whimpered but you soon smiled and laughed slightly at the whole scene. Jake leaned over the top of your back, careful not to put his full weight on top of you. He wrapped his free hand around your throat, applying pressure to the sides. A straggled moan escape from you and you felt that familiar feeling beginning to build in the pit of your stomach. His hand cracked against your ass before he dug his free hand into your sides, hard enough that you knew he would leave bruises.
"You're getting close aren't you?" Jake whispered in your ear. You shook your head and Jake sent another forceful thrust into you.
"Don't lie to me. I can feel you clenching around me. You're so pathetic. So desperate for my cock." He applied a hard smack to your ass and applied more pressure to your throat and at that point, you couldn't even make any noise. He continued his forceful pace before he pulled himself out of you and flipped you over onto your back. He spread your legs apart, setting them over his shoulders, and lined himself up at your entrance. His movements were slow but all you could do was watch him.
"Jake, please," You whined. He shook his head and smiled before slowly sliding into you. You moaned softly but it was replaced by a yelp as he sent a harsh thrust into you. He pulled back out slowly, before repeating his movements.
"What do you want baby? You want to cum? All over my cock?" He asked, with his brow raised. He let out a grunt as his hips flew forward into yours. Your back arched and you nodded your head.
"Words love, I need them." He stopped his movements and bent down and pressed a sloppy his to your lips.
"Please," was all you could say and he shook his head.
"Too," Thrust "Fucking," Thrust "Bad," Thrust. His speed picked up and he started rubbing your clit in fast circles. The only noises in the room were your moans bouncing off the walls and the sound of your skin making contact with Jakes. He never let up on his movements.
"Jakey please, please let me cum," You gasped. You were on the brink of spilling over but you knew if you came without him letting you, the situation would be worse. You hated to admit that you were enjoying how rough he was with you but it wasn't often that your sex was rough like this. Jake never wanted to hurt you, but sometimes wished he would be a little more forceful with you.
Jake leaned over you and began biting and kissing your neck. With every bite, he soothed over the area with his tongue. He let go of your throat and smacked your cheek, moaning from the sudden contact. He had never done that before. He put three of his fingers into your mouth, slightly pulling down on your jaw.
"How badly do you want it?" He asked and you couldn't even respond. He removed his fingers from your clit and lifted up the top of your bikini, exposing your breasts. They bounced with every thrust and he grabbed one and wrapped his lips around your swollen nipple, biting at the raised bud. He slid out of you before removing his fingers from your mouth and dropping to his knees and he licked a bold strip up your core. You shifted against the bed and he grabbed your sides, pulling you closer to him. He entered two fingers and curved them upwards and wrapped his lips around your clit.
"Jake I can't hold on much longer, please," You whined loudly and your legs began to tremble. You looked down at the vulgar scene and you made eye contact with the man below you. He nodded his head and you started to see stars as you were on the brink of releasing around him. You moaned loudly and your back arched against the bed. Your wrists pulled against the cuffs and they were for sure going to leave marks. Your eyes screwed shut and your moans could've put a pornstar to shame.
Right as you were about to spill over, Jake halted all of his movements and you're eyes flew open. He shook his head at you as he smirked and he went into the bathroom, leaving you a wrecked mess on the bed. He came back out a minute later with two rags. You raised a brow at him, not sure what he had them for and you shifted back onto the bed.
"Whores don't get to cum. You're not getting away with all of this that easy." Jake came up to you and tapped your chin, signaling you to open your mouth. He put one of the rags into your mouth, shoving it in deep enough so you couldn't spit it out of your mouth. He sat the other rag on the bedside table and he came back over to stand in front of you. Your eyes widened and you began dripping with arousal.
"I don't want to hear another word out of you." He leaned down towards your face, his eyes darker than normal. He grabbed ahold of your chin and applied a smack to your cheek which took you by surprise but it made you moan. He had never been this rough with you but you hated to admit that you were enjoying it.
"Fucking slut. Thinking you can tease me in front of my brothers." He shook his head again, dragging his tip through your folds, collecting your arousal. You whined, waiting for some type of contact. He slid his tip in, before pulling it back out, repeating the process a couple of times. You shifted your hips, hoping to get more contact from him but he just pulled away.
"Stay still. I mean it." You nodded your head, being sure not to move and he slowly slid into you again. Your eyes fluttered shut, waiting for him to move but he never did. You opened your eyes again and he just stared down at you. He brought his hand to the side of your cheek, running his thumb over your bottom lip. You gave him doe eyes, as a way to please to keep moving.
"What? What do you want pretty girl?" He questioned, tilting his head. You just whined since even if you tried to speak it wouldn't do any good. Jake slowly began to move his hips, his pace slow enough to be torturous. You tried moving your hips to meet his and he stopped, giving you a look. He waited a moment before slowly moving. You could feel how deep he was inside of you but the pace just wasn't enough, not for a time like this
You whined again, trying to get him to move faster and he did, slowly but surely. It didn't take long before his hips began meeting yours and his thrusts were hard. You moaned into the rag, so badly wanting to tell him how good he was making you feel and you desperately wanted the stupid rag out of your mouth but you knew he was enjoying this just as much as you.
One of his hands came up to cup your breasts and he stared down at the scene below him, his cock sliding in and out of you with ease, not even caring that you had no control over the situation. Your back arched as he hit the deepest part of you, making that feeling in the pit of your stomach return. You could feel yourself clenching around him and he sped up, slamming his hips into yours. Your eyes screwed shit, moaning out into the rag. Even with the rag muffling the noise it was still loud. You knew you were on the brink of spilling over again from how hard you were clenching around Jake, and he knew it too.
He pulled out of you again and you whined, tears starting to brim your eyes from the way he was edging you. He walked over to your side of the bed and opened your bedside drawer. You couldn't think of what he could have been grabbing until it hit you.
Jake held up the black vibrator you owned and your eyes went wide. There had only been a few occasions where you had used it, and it was typically when he wasn't home. You weren't even sure how he knew you had it.
"Didn't think I knew about this did you?" He waved it in front of you and you couldn't even make a noise. You felt bad that you had never told him about the fact that you had owned it, but you weren't sure how he would feel. It wasn't often you used it since you had bought it when he was on tour and you needed some way to satisfy yourself.
"I found it one day when I was cleaning. I wish you would've told me. Imagine all of the videos I could've had you send me. That pretty little pussy throbbing just for me over the fact that my cock wasn't here to satisfy you. What a damn shame." Jake shook his head again and his words made you melt. He clicked the button and you heard the quiet vibrator come to life. He put it up to the highest speed and your eyes widen. You had never even gone up that far.
Jake lined himself up at your entrance before he slid into you. He put the head of the massager on your clit and you immediately moaned, knowing you wouldn't last long from how sensitive you were. Jake flew his hips forward, continuing his brutal pace. He pressed the massager down harder onto your clit and your back arched. He ripped the rag out of your mouth, a loud, whiny moan filling the room.
"Fuck! Jake!" You gasped and tried to shift away from his grip but it was useless. Your eyes screwed shut and a series of loud moans flew past your lips. You were so close. He pulled out a moment later, flipping you onto your back before uncuffing you and flipping you back over. He entered you again, returning to his deadly pace. He sat the vibrator against your clit and your hands flew to his back. The one thing you had wanted the entire time.
Your nails raked down Jake's back, hard enough that you were going to leave marks, but neither of you cared. You both were too lost in the moment to even think about anything after this. The feeling of your orgasm swelled in your stomach, only seconds away from the brink of your release.
"Please let me cum, oh my fucking god," Your teeth ground together and a groan left your mouth.
"Beg for it. Tell me what you want." Jake spoke in between thrusts, still not letting up his pace.
"Shit, let me cum, please Jake, please. I won't tease you like that again I promise. Please I just want to cum around your cock. Fuck youre so big, I love the way you stretch me out." You whined, hoping the extra compliment at the end would give you some points. It wasn't that you were lying, Jake was pretty big. At first, it took a lot of getting used to but now he fits you so well.
"Look at me. Who do you belong to?" He asked, getting close to your face. You looked into his eyes and let out a breathy 'you'.
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. Who owns you?" He asked louder this time.
"You! Fuck!" You gasped and if he didn't let you cum now, there would've been no saving yourself. Tears slid down your cheek from the intense pleasure.
"Cum for me, pretty girl." He smiled at you as he held your chin with his free hand, making sure that you kept eye contact with him. You moaned loud enough to be heard from the entire house. Your back arched and you couldn't help but close your eyes. You felt an unfamiliar feeling of wetness and Jake moaned loudly before his thrusts became sloppy.
"God, look at the way you squirt all over me. Fuck, you're so sexy when you cum," He moaned out before he stilled and you could feel look hot, sticky strings of him inside you. He tossed the vibrator somewhere on the bed before he pulled out of you and collapsed on the bed next to you.
The two of you laid there for a moment, trying to comprehend what had even just happened. You both were breathless, trying your hardest to regain your composure. Jake eventually got up, grabbing the rag he had set on his bedside table and he started to clean you up. As he made contact with your core, you shook, closing your legs together and he laughed.
"Little sensitive, hm?" You nodded at him, still not even able to form words. Jake walked into the bathroom and you could hear the sound of the bathtub beginning to fill. You sat up on your elbows and looked towards the doorway. He came out a moment later and sat next to you on the bed. His thumb came up and wiped your cheek from the wetness that remained from your tears.
"Was that too much?" He asked quietly and you immediately shook your head.
"No, no not at all. I loved it honestly. That might've been the best sex we've ever had." You bit your lip and he laughed, nodding his head.
"I might have to agree. If it's ever too much, please tell me, okay?" He asked reassuringly. You nodded your head and he applied a soft kiss to your lips. He picked you up, one of his arms under your legs and the other supporting your back. He carried you into the bathroom and sat you on the toilet, giving you a little privacy so you could pee, and he returned a few minutes later with some fresh towels for the both of you. You tried to stand but immediately started falling to the floor before Jake caught you. You both laughed, and he picked you up, setting you into the warm water.
"I love you more than words can even describe," Jake whispered as he slid into the tub behind you. He pressed a kiss to your temple and you leaned back against his chest.
"I love you too." You closed your eyes and relaxed into the water. Jake quietly hummed one of the new songs that was yet to be released that you had only heard on one other occasion and that was at the studio. Just from the way it sounded you knew it was going to be your favorite.
If you could spend every night like that, you would.
When a soul has suffered enough pain - it becomes that of a shell. A place no one can infiltrate, sacred and dark - and all alone. Jake and Alaska both closed off their souls to the rest of the world a long time ago, convinced that love would never be in the cards. They didn’t want it - they practically rejected it. Jake’s band Greta Van Fleet and Alaska’s band Icarus Casus were slowly becoming the most prominent rocks bands of their generation. But when they decided to take a month long trip together to the Chattanooga mountains to focus on their new albums - everything changed.
What happens when two souls, shut off from the world and all alone, find each other. Do they help rebuild what was broken - or do they burn everything to the ground.
Warnings: 18+ (Minors BE GONE); Mentions of car crashes, death from car crashes; mentions of death; smoking ; drinking; Use of Drugs; Asshole Jake; Mentions of trauma related nightmares, mentions of trauma related scars and mental health, dirty little comments, lots of flirting
Word Count: 5.4k
A/N: Chapter 2!!! I was planning on waiting and writing a little more before I put it out but this is a good end for this one and I couldn't wait to release it. Cant wait for things to really start unravelling with these two ;) The good stuff (iykwim) is coming very soon, so hold on babes.
Also thank you so much to everyone who has interacted in any way with this story, whether that be a like or a follow, it means more than anything ;') (actually crying and throwing up).
If you would like to be added to the taglist, let me know in the comments! xoxo
It was 7:30 in the morning, I had just woken up. The air in my room was weightless, I could hear faint bird noises outside the very large window that sat in front of my bed, and there was a small cast of sunlight shining through my room that allowed me to see the tiny particles floating around in the air. I enjoyed the simplicity of my head being empty as I had just woken up, however that didn’t last long. I could feel my head pounding, a clear result of the whiskey. Then I remembered the argument I had with Jake, and my head started pounding some more. A result of the asshole who would be in my life for the next 30 days. I did my best to forget about the whole thing, not wanting to ruin the decent morning I had woken up to. Rolling out of bed, I walked over to my window. It was a picturesque view of the mountains. Truly breathtaking. Now I understand why, amongst other reasons, Josh spoke so highly of this place as a vessel for writing. I could see, I could feel, how this would be the perfect place to let every brilliant thought come, or itch to life through music. Nothing feeds the soul more than human connection to its mother earth.
Everyone else in the house was asleep, most likely exhausted from their pyrotechnical duties of the night prior. I put on a pair of long and loose pyjama pants that sat right on my hip bones, the baby tee that I wore to bed, and a zip up hoodie. I grabbed my cigarettes and headed downstairs. Before I reached the front door, I grabbed my acoustic guitar.
I sat on the chair that laid a few feet away from the door on the deck, and lit one up. The slight breeze of the early morning had caused me to shiver, hitting the part of my stomach that was exposed. I wrapped my sweater tightly around myself to shield the chill, my fingers grazed over my scar. My mind then wrapped myself up not because I was cold, but because I needed protection from myself, and the dark place that was my brain. Taking the cigarette to my lips and breathing in its sacred smoke caused a beautiful amount of tension to release from my body. I sat in silence for a minute, enjoying the quiet and my smoke, then picked up my guitar. Taking one final hit, I placed the cigarette in the headstock of my guitar, between the strings and the wood. Very Eric Clapton of me I thought to myself, as a small smile was brought to my lips. I closed my eyes, and strummed. Listening to the birds, feeling the crisp morning air, being in such a beautiful place really did it for me. I toggled around the frets for a few minutes, trying to find my footing of what melody was running through my head. Then I landed on a melody that was beautiful. It had a very sad undertone, emotion drooling off of my fingers as I played. I let my fingers glide across the frets as if they were made of silk, my eyes still closed the entire time. After a while, I took my cigarette out of the headstock as it was almost out, and finished it off before smushing it down into the ashtray that was beside me. I continued to play for the next 15 minutes, revelling in the peace I was experiencing. Somewhere along the way through this beautifully sad melody I was playing, I even started humming - my eyes closed and my mind somewhere transcendent. Music was always something that calmed me down, grounded me, ultimately. All I needed was a guitar to keep me at bay from whatever storm was currently in my life. And a cigarette.
After my blissful smoke break, I walked back into the house and went upstairs to brush my teeth and wash up for the day. I heard a ‘ding’ from my phone once as soon as I reached my room.
Josh, 8:02: Good morning Mama, we’re making a big breakfast over here. Gather the troops.
I smiled. I loved the way Josh spoke, the way he would say things like ‘love’ or ‘mama’. He spoke exquisitely and uniquely, like Josh and only Josh. No one could replicate that human being if they tried. Even if they were Jake and had the literal exact same DNA, but Jake seemed to be a manufacturing error in and of himself, so I no longer make the comparison between the two. “Be down in 15 ;) ”, I replied to his message.
I woke everyone up shortly after, we all took 10 minutes to fix ourselves up from the deep and peaceful sleep we had experienced. Once everyone was ready, we went through the back doors and over to the other cabin. As we walked between the cabins, the thought of Jake starting something so early in the morning made my head spin. I didn’t even want to see him. Maybe he’d still be sleeping at this time. Maybe he wasn’t hungry. I just didn’t want to see him, period. At least I convinced myself of that.
As we all walked through the door, the smells of bacon, eggs, pancakes, the whole shpiel, hit us hard in the face. It smelled like a diner - not very appetizing to my hungover self. On top of that, I could already hear Sam yelling over Danny about something, and right on cue, Dallas b-lined for the kitchen eager to jump in on the action. As we walked through the kitchen, I saw one thing. Or lack-there-of, I should say. No Jake. Not a singular Jake in sight. I let out a small sigh of relief. Josh greeted me with a big hug (as per usual) as both bands said their ‘good mornings’. Josh’s hug today was different then it usually was, more firm. More intent-full, like he was communicating something through his embrace. And just as I thought this morning would be low-key and stress less, Jake appeared directly in my line of sight, walking down the stairs.
Me convincing myself that I didn’t want to see Jake, didn’t last very long because holy mother of god. As I stood there, still embraced by Josh and looking at Jake, it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. First of all, he was shirtless. His tanned to perfection skin out in the open. His hair, slightly frazzled from his sleep I assume, laid perfectly against his chest. The cherry on top, was the grey pair of sweats he adorned - a pair that hung so low on his hips I could see his hip bones themselves, and the V of his stomach that disappeared somewhere into his pants. He made me weak in the knees. He was, truly, more beautiful than anything I had ever seen. He was perfection in human form, created directly from the gods themselves. It didn’t take me long to regain consciousness as I realized I was blatantly starring, me and Jake having locked eyes. And then he scoffed. Loud. It took my brain a minute to realize what he was so visibly upset about. Was the sight of me truly that revolting? Did he really dislike me that much? Then it clicked.
Me and his brother were arms deep with each other, right after the argument last night about Jake accusing me of sleeping with him. Shit. I quickly removed myself from Josh’s embrace and sat at one of the barstools that hugged the large island, my body present but my mind hundreds of miles away. Jake proceeded to walk to the cabinet and grab a glass. He took the topper off of the glass decanter that sat on their counter, and poured the dark liquid out from it’s confines. The others in the room had acknowledged this, but moved on rather quickly as if it were a regular occurrence. Josh was the only one who spoke up about it. “Jake, really. It’s 8:30 in the fucking morning.” He snared at his brother who was letting the warm liquid roll down his throat. He swallowed the gulp, without so much as a twitch appearing on his face. “It’s never too early Josh. Clearly.” He replied, his eyebrows raising as he put implication over the last word. Josh scoffed, as his eyes glazed over mine to see my reaction.
Josh definitely knew about our argument last night, Jake must have told him sometime after I left. Because of his curiosity in my reaction, I gathered he also probably knew what was asked and why we fought in the first place. Josh looked at me with sorrow in his eyes. Yup, he definitely knew the question Jake had asked me the night before, except unlike Jake, Josh knew the answer to it and knew why it probably hurt as much as it did. I very discreetly shook my head as if to say ‘no’. I didn’t need the boys getting into a fight, as I know Josh would have in this circumstance. He is a fearless friend if nothing else, and very intuitive. Josh would have gone off on Jake right there and then, knowing how he was still implying that we slept together. He returned a sad smile in my direction and proceeded to ignore Jake’s existence for the remainder of the morning. Thank god.
As we sat in the kitchen, Dallas, Sam, Greyson and Danny were occupied over something - their expressive and all consuming noises of arguing and talking filled the house in its entirety. I was sitting beside Josh and Mara, them more invested in their conversation than I was, but me still listening along and replying when necessary. Truthfully, my brain was elsewhere entirely. Jake had resided to the couch just in the living room, where he was laying down. He was watching something on the tv, I never picked up what it was as I was too busy watching him. I would steal glances every chance I could, my eyes practically watering at how beautiful he was. His one arm was slung behind his neck, his other by his side where he was still nursing his drink. His legs were stretched out, giving off the most perfect view of his stomach. The golden brown hue that he emulated, and again, his pants resting so low on his hips I could melt into a pile of mush right then and there. How could someone be so beautiful yet such an asshole? My brain was in a constant war of hating him, but at the same time wanting to kiss him so bad. I couldn’t decide which side was winning of course, and I don't think I would want to know the answer even if I could decide.
I didn’t eat most of my breakfast, the hangover still very apparent within the confines of my body. It had been about half an hour of me semi-listening to Josh and Mara, hearing the ruckus of the boys, watching Jake (but not looking like I was looking of course) and the TV that was running, all at once. Being in that room at that moment was worse than a retail employee working boxing day. I needed air, my brain was overstimulated. “Im gonna go out for a smoke, guys.” I said to Josh and Mara, as I got up. Josh was immediately taken out of the conversation he was so deeply in, making sure that I was okay. He gave me a look of concern, following the telepathic conversation we had earlier regarding Jake and his moronic antics. I gave him a soft smile and mouthed ‘i’m okay’, easing his stress. He returned the smile, that classic, mushy and all loving josh smile. I walked through the living room, behind the couch where Jake was sitting, and out the back door. I sat on one of the many adirondack chairs that lined the back porch, reaching into my pocket and pulling out the box of American Spirits. I grabbed one, brought it to my lips, and just before I could light it the door opened. I was expecting Josh, probably coming out here to check (again) if I was okay. Instead, my eyes met the beautiful caramel-coloured stomach I had spent the entire morning drooling over.
Jake stepped outside, closing the sliding door behind him. He took a seat in the chair right next to me. My brain was doing somersaults, for various reasons. Did I hallucinate the events that occurred this morning? Cause if I remember correctly, Jake was visibly annoyed at me hugging his brother, expressed this in the singular sentence he muttered, and washed the whole situation down with a glass of whiskey. If that doesn’t seem like the actions of someone who was pissed off, I don't know what would be. And yet - he walks out here and sits next to me as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. GOD, he’s so frustrating. My eyes grazed over him, a look of confusion and annoyance visible on my face as I returned my attention back to the cigarette hanging between my lips. I flicked to life my lighter, taking a long drag of the smoke. God knows I need it.
“Gimme one of those.” Jake said, as a complete statement. I was starring off of the porch, and into the mountains. My eyes practically popped out of my head as he said so blatantly, but I kept my cool. No hi, hello, sorry for accusing you of sleeping with my brother when it’s not true, and then taunting you with it literally half an hour ago. “Fuck you.” I said, laughing as smoke came out of my mouth. “You’re a dick, I'm not wasting good cigarettes on your ass.” I said, admiring the cancer stick that laid between my fingers. “Darling, maybe I wouldn’t be such a dick if you hadn’t had your arms wrapped around my brother so early this morning.” There he goes again, the nickname falling off his lips like velvet. He was infuriating, but all it took was that one word and I was squeezing my legs together in hopes of any type of friction to satiate the heat that settled between my thighs. “You’re really not proving the whole ‘I never slept with Josh’ thing very well.” He finished, sitting back in the chair calmly. “I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter what I say or do, you clearly have made up your mind about the notion so why bother proving anything Jake.” I said back, still looking out into the Tennessee mountains and denying him any satisfaction in acknowledging him. “You guys just seem super close. I always see him touching you, talking to you, how am I not supposed to think that?” His tone changed. He wasn’t arguing anymore, he was speaking like a human being in a conversation for the first time in his entire stubborn life. The change in tone is what caught you by surprise. He actually wanted to figure this out, and wasn’t going to let it go until I either admitted to it or convinced him otherwise. I looked into his eyes, trying to reciprocate the newly apparent honesty.
“You of all people Jake, should know him. You of all people should know that he is a physical person, his love language is touch. And yes, I do love your brother. Not because we’ve ever slept together or had anything more than a platonic friendship, but because he is my best friend. We’ve known each other for so long now, and loved each other - AS FRIENDS - that were just comfortable with each other. But I don't like Josh like that. Trust me, if I did, I wouldn’t have a problem telling you. It would save me from having to be taunted by you every goddamn day over it.” I replied. We stared into each other's eyes, his scanning over my face for any ounce of doubt. He was actually listening to me. “So you’ve never slept together. Honestly.” He asked, as a real question that he might even consider. “No Jake. Honestly, we’ve never slept together. Again, I don't look at Josh like that. Never have, never will but I love him as my best friend and yes - we hug all the time cause Josh is just a hugging type of person. It’s what he does.” I answered, as honestly as the question he asked. His face softened. “Good.” He replied, laying back into the chair and staring out into the mountains again. That smug look, the ‘I'm Jake and I’m the sexiest person to walk the earth’ look crept back onto his face, reclaiming its natural habitat. Damn that beautiful face.
I found my eyes wandering to places they shouldn’t be. I was starring. Lightly, but still starring. “Don't you own a shirt?” I said, my lame attempt to cover over the fact that my eyes got lost in his silky smooth skin. “And are you going to finally shut the fuck up about your delusions now?” I finished, my tone full of wit and attitude. I followed suit, and looked out into the mountains, taking another drag of my smoke. I heard a low and raspy laugh come from him. I turned to look at him, annoyed of course. Because everything he does annoys me……except for when it doesn’t. “Gosh darling, you’ve got a dirty fucking mouth on you. You better be careful, one day I might just have to shut you the fuck up myself. I can think of a few better uses for that pretty little mouth of yours.” I almost dropped the cigarette I was holding. My mouth, slightly agape and my face, blank. Any annoyance I had, any feelings at all - right out the window. His head was now tilted down, looking directly at me with hunger behind his eyes. We sat there, and stared into each other for what seemed like an eternity - until the sounds of creaks from the sliding door had filled the air around us. I didn’t really notice it until Josh stepped out of the house, directly behind Jake. Josh gave me and Jake a look of worry, that we might be fighting.
The scene, I can imagine, was intense. Us staring at each other with this unbeknownst-to-everyone tension that we seemed to have. “Uhhh…. Everything okay out here?” Josh said, the question more so directed at me rather than Jake. I didn’t know what to say in this situation. Do I say yes? Would that be letting Jake off easy after the shit he’s pulled? Or do I carry on with the bitch-attitude I must admit I’ve been returning in his favour, and say no. The internal thoughts rushing through my head, my uncertainty at the situation and the sheer shock at what came out of Jake’s mouth right before Josh graced us with his presence. I was simply rendered speechless. Jake rose from his seat, giving me a wink before he turned to Josh. “So you didn’t fuck her. Good.” His hand adorned Josh’s shoulder, Jake leaning in and almost whispering into his brother's ear. Josh’s face contorted through several different emotions as his eyes flew straight to me. He looked almost scared, also unsure of what to say at this exact moment. Jake gave him a small laugh, patted him on the shoulder, and went inside.
“What the fuck was that about?” Josh said, now sitting in place of where Jake was just seconds ago. I let out a giggle at the question, not fully knowing, myself. “I don't know Josh. But I dont think he’ll be bugging me about us anymore.” I said, Josh starring almost through me. “He didn’t argue or anything?” He asked, his hand now holding his chin in curiosity. “No, he actually listened to me. He was genuinely curious at what I would say and believed me after I explained that we have never slept together. Maybe last night he was just a little too drunk and blew the whole thing out of proportion.” Josh’s eyes were now on the ground, looking into the wood beneath us as if he was on some sort of psychedelic and there was a message to be found in the ground. “Just doesn’t sound like him. Jake doesn’t listen to anyone but himself.” He said, still mind-fucked over my spoken experience. “Well, apparently he’ll listen to me.” I returned, smushing my cigarette into the ashtray that was a foot from my chair. “Yeah.” Josh said, now getting up from his seat and going inside - the same dazed and confused look resting on his face.
The rest of the day went pretty smoothly, we were still getting acclimated to our new home (for the month) and spent most of the day inside jamming with each other’s respective bands.
As I was sleeping this morning, I started to dream of this beautiful guitar riff. There was no image of who was playing it or where it was coming from, all I could hear were the heart wrenchingly beautiful melodies that clouded my head. As I slowly opened my eyes with the intent to grab my guitar and play this melody, write it down for later, I realized I wasn’t dreaming. The playing wasn’t something my brain had concocted, it was real and it was coming from outside my balcony. I got out of bed, and looked through my window. My balcony, which was located on the front of the house and had a clear view of the front of the next cabin over. Where I saw her. Sitting on a chair, an acoustic guitar draped over her crossed legs. I quickly put on a pair of sweatpants which I had retrieved off of my floor, quietly opened my balcony door and sat against the wall. I was far enough from the edge that she definitely would not have been able to see me, but I could definitely see her. She was fucking gorgeous. I then noticed the cigarette that was stuck in her headstock - a classic Clapton move. God, if only she knew what that did to me. I felt my cock twitch in my pants at the sight, the fumes rising and contaminating the fresh air. Josh really wasn’t kidding when he said she was an amazing guitarist - not to mention I am probably not even seeing the half of it. She looks like she just woke up, and she can play that good? I watched as her hair had fallen from her shoulders to her back, giving me a better view of her perfect face.
Her eyes were closed. My brain immediately wanted to think about fucking her, as it did with the hundreds of other girls. But it wouldn’t. I watched as her face contorted through her playing, it changing with the melody and the tempo. I couldn’t figure her out. The look she had on her face, the body language she was emitting, it was almost… pain. Whatever it was she was playing already sounded beautifully twisted… but she reflected it perfectly as she sat there strumming and sliding her fingers up and down the fret board. She was feeling every ounce of what the melody was saying. Then she started to hum. I thought the cries of Joni Mitchell were the greatest female sounds my ears would ever have the pleasure of hearing, but no. I was completely and utterly enthralled. The way she looked, the magic her fingers were creating, and the angelic-like sounds that were coming from her mouth. In this moment, I can die completely peaceful knowing I have heard them. My eyes never moved from her as she cried through her voice. It was truly the most amazing sight, and something, now seared into my brain for all of eternity.
Eventually she went back inside and so did I. I laid in my bed, eyes on the ceiling wondering what it was I was feeling. Did I want to fuck her, abso-fucking-lutely. But I didn’t just want to sleep with her - I wanted to lay beside her, naked in the sheets, and comb through her brain. Learn every little detail about her. Memorize the smell of her hair, the way her face moved when she smiled. How she likes her coffee. Why she smokes so damn much.
I fell in love with her at a young age, from afar. I would watch her any and every chance I could get, I would dream about one day being with her. After my dad died, I turned into a monster. Ripping through women, booze, being an utter asshole to everyone in my life. I hate the person I’ve become, and I would never put her through that. I would never be enough for her. Im too broken, too far gone. She deserves the fucking galaxy, not the stupid excuse for a man I seemed to have become.
Her being here has brought all of those feelings back. I never completely forgot about her, but I have found my fair share of distractions over the years. Enough to put her in a little box, in the back of my brain. A mere memory of when I was young, when I was still good, and the girl that would never leave my mind for as long as I lived. But now that box is wide open and all of those feelings are back - multiplied by a hundred. I haven’t stopped thinking about her. About all of the filthy things I wanna do to her, and all of the amazing things I wish I could give to her. Things that I know I never could.
As I walked down the stairs, I heard Dallas. How does that kid always have so much energy, even at 8:30 in the morning. He is not helping my hangover. My eyes suddenly found the girl that had been occupying my brain for the last hour, and god was she perfect. At least that was my first thought. When my eyes zoomed out and my tunnel vision which was stuck on her had faded away, I was met with the deeply disturbing sight of her arms deeply wrapped around my brother - and his wrapped tightly around her. Don't get me wrong I love Josh and want to see him happy, but she is mine. At least in my head she is. How can she stand there and tell me her and Josh have never slept together when at the first sight of her, she’s arms deep into my brother's chest? The sight made the acid that was slowly going through my system come right back up. It was revolting, and I’m pretty sure my face reflected that perfectly.
Once her and I had locked eyes, she immediately distanced herself from Josh, knowing full well the predicament she was in. After joining everyone in the kitchen the sight I had walked so carelessly into, I decided this morning would be better with a buzz so I poured myself a drink. I didn’t mean to be a dick and make that stupid comment about me clearly needing alcohol at the sight of them together, but it just sort of came out. The one thing however, that truly stuck in my mind, was the silent conversation Alaska and Josh seemed to be having after the comment had slipped from my lips. There was something they both knew, something that made Josh - who never shuts up, swallow his tongue right then and there. The way she ever so slightly shook her head no at him, that same look of pain washing over her face as the one I’d seen this morning while watching her play.
I decided against interacting with the group for the remainder of the morning, and laid on the couch while the news ran on the TV. I enjoyed watching the news and learning about what was going on in the world, but god was my mind elsewhere. Alaska was sitting on one of the barstools, looking more beautiful than how I imagine Aphrodite ever could. I would steal glances every chance I could get. In the moments where I wasn’t watching her, I was thinking about what it was she wouldn’t tell me. The pain she displayed, in those rare moments where she thought the rest of the world was occupied, and how I was now obsessed with figuring out what it was. I would do anything to take away even a fraction of her pain, put a smile on that god-given face that was created to radiate at every given moment.
I thanked whatever higher power rests above when she rose from her seat in the kitchen, and headed outside. I debated following her, wondering if I should give her some space. My curiosity and want to simply see her face got the better of me as I eventually dragged my body off of the couch to join her.
Of course she was smoking. God has really got it out for me huh. I was determined to start finding out what It was she seemed to be hiding and that starts with the truth about her and Josh. My habits wanted me to approach the conversation with the same level of anger and stupidity that I had last night, however I knew that it wouldn't get me very far and I didnt want to upset her any more than I already had. When she explained the situation between her and Josh, I instantly knew she was telling the truth. I could see it in her eyes, the way she was looking at me with nothing but honesty. My mind immediately went back to last night, reminding myself how awful I had been to her. Rubbing something that never even happened right in her face. I wanted to kick myself for the way I treated her. At the same time, I wanted to grab her, jump into the air with her in my arms and kiss that pretty face of hers, now knowing that she never slept with him. I couldn't help it when I said her mouth could be used for better things than talking back. That was my middle ground, my median between the dick of a human I am and unfamiliar feelings I hold in my heart for her and her only. It just came out of me, okay? And how could I not flirt with her when I was staring into the face of an angel? But of course, Josh had to ruin the moment. I couldn't contain my joy after the girl I'd spent my whole life loving hadn’t in fact slept with my brother, and I wanted him to know.
That little comment didn't just spill out, it was deliberate.
