Nicola's article and the Fandom Mess
I am sure everyone has seen the article in the Saturday Guardian yesterday, and I wanted to allow the dust to settle and watch as a quiet observer for a day before I weighed in. There have been a lot of shots fired throughout the Bridgerton, Polin and Lukola/Jakola/ (well, the two Antukes in the world, presumably A and her mother). While everyone goes after all the parties involved, I noticed a few things that I thought are important to point out.
There are major creators in this fandom who in some way compromised N or L's safety. When these things were pointed out to them they had 2 options:
a. Back off and re-evaluate (which many, by the way, did, by either leaving public creating OR removing the offending posts)
I remember some really interesting discourse around the time of the second set of N and JD pap pics (after the festival) where some people celebrated the pics despite the fact that she was followed, presumably through her neighborhood, at night, and appeared to be crying and wiping her tears with his hand. JD even gave her his hat. These, to me, did not look like scheduled pap pics. Festival ones? Could be. They didn't seem violated in the same way. It was a public concert outdoors, so technically fair game. But following someone down their road at night time? Shouldn't be, even if it is (imo).
These people went on to have lives where they simply said celebrities should have no expectation of privacy at all. If they step outside their homes, they shouldn't expect privacy. Who would want to live like that, even with money? If we go off of that, you mean there's no privacy when they go through a family tragedy, no privacy when you are ill, no privacy when you are with people who don't want to be in the public eye. In fact, in many cities and communities (thinking of NYC for instance), generally celebs' privacy is respected when they're off the clock and not at a fan-specific event. NYC natives would look at you oddly for approaching a celeb in their off-time. I see some of these individuals and the ones close to them sharing this article or posting about it as if their hands are clean. Newsflash: if you contributed in some way, it isn't.
2. This goes double for the individuals L and N have surrounded themselves with. We (the fandoms) collectively are strangers on the internet. Theoretically, the people around them should care more about their welfare and well-being than literal strangers. This was pointed out repeatedly by some during Sorrento-gate and then they appeared to have collective amnesia when Jake was on the scene and they encouraged people to stalk N through tags in NYC and then follow and film her as her and JD looked terrified. Then N actually posted about it and these people doubled down. Some removed the tags. In some cases, JD seemed to remove some himself. Regardless of where they went, there was no learning, because we later heard about the same individual stalking N to Cannes and following her through a parking garage where she had to mask her face to avoid paparazzi or fans following.
However, this is where I think two things can be true:
-You can love and respect a celebrity and feel they should be treated as a human being.
-You can side-eye their choices and behaviors.
Right now, a lot of the think pieces I'm reading are basically calling everyone involved sickos and indicating that N can do no wrong. It's ok to empathize with N, feel awful that she felt so unsafe, feel awful that despite numerous impassioned pleas to the same people they continued to follow around and film her. It's ok to think shipping culture is wrong if that's where you stand. But it's also ok to point out where she (or the people around her) may have contributed to some of this. It doesn't mean you don't have empathy and don't think it's diabolical to try to give away someone's real time location or share exactly where they live. Both of those things are wrong, and fans had to be called out for them.
However, there are some ways that N and her entourage, L and his entourage, and the whole PR press tour have contributed to this. Case in point:
Johnny Bailey has decided to be a celebrity with social media and to keep his private life private. Those of you newer to the fandom may not know this but at one point he actually brought a partner with him to an awards show, so this has not always been his policy. Maybe that became his policy after a bad experience, maybe after watching how it went for someone else. Ultimately, that was his decision and he made it.
If you go to his social media, it's strictly work. He doesn't post about his friends, his family, his SO if he even has one. His Aussie pap pics the other day were solo pics, which, btw, is an option. You don't have to do couple pap pics. His career is moving along swimmingly, it seems, and without exploiting his personal life for clicks and views.
It's unfortunate, but once a celeb starts posting others (friends, partners, family members), they open them to speculation and rumor. It's that simple. And if they don't clarify it, what will happen is it can take on a life of its own. It especially doesn't help when the content that is put out there is checkered by fake photos inserted into slideshows, people posting body parts, insinuations, and people being caught literally posting things that didn't happen or they weren't there for. All of the above has happened in this fandom.
Heck, one of the above adjacent parties has been caught running a fan page for themself and praising themselves as a partner. The same individual is in private fan chats and spaces, taking photos of themselves to share on this platform. Is that typical behavior? Is that helping or hurting?
One thing I've noticed as an observer is that celebrities have people glom onto them who seem to want their pound of flesh. People have noticed it with the way the adjacents in this case have been promoted. Whether you sit on the part of the ship where you think it's authentic or not, it's not always typical for an invited guest to get solo pics at an event, or to have solo articles written about them and promote them. It's not typical for their friends to glom on and expect to be a long for the ride and promoted in the way that we've seen here. All of the above is why people don't buy it, because it doesn't read like other authentic celeb relationships, where the partner either remains private on SM or just shows up to appearances, smiles, supports their partner, and maybe shares a few pics here and there.
Does any side of this have their hands entirely clean? No. It's better for people to take accountability at this point for their part and try to make proactive changes for the future, imo. But that goes just as much for the fandom (literal strangers) as it does for the alleged friends and adjacents' of N and L, as well as for N and L themselves. The more they post private and personal things, the more they invite speculation and commentary on it, and for me, I think you can't have it both ways.
I say this with the huge caveat that giving up someone's real time location, following them, or posting identifiable parts of their home are unacceptable. Please note these things are the part of the interview where Nic talked about feeling unsafe and cried, because they are actual credible threats to safety. Nobody should make fun of her feeling emotional about this because truly, I look at the situation and feel that anyone would feel afraid if these things were happening. While I'm sure she was annoyed with rumors and speculation, none of those things put her life imminently in danger. As to fans stopping with the rumors and speculation, the best thing either could do is to stop sharing their personal life if they don't want it discussed and to set boundaries with friends and hangers on. Until we see those changes, it's unlikely speculation will cease.
It's also important to note that celebrities know people are curious about their personal lives and share those things in order to get engagement and views so that when they post about work, they get better metrics. While this definitely works, the only way to avoid speculation into their lives are not to share it, so sometimes, a decision has to be made: what is more important? For now, I think theorizing and speculating is allowed, because at least on L's end, he's still allowing for it.
Do I think this means it should be public mean-spirited speculation that shames those involved? No. But the problem is that once you release it to the public, it will often be received differently than intended, and once you've put it out there, it's out of your control. It's out in the world, and they'll interpret it how they do. And ultimately, a lot of people who 'buy into' the adjacents use that as an excuse to be publicly mean and humiliating. It's one thing to discuss in a private gc (and by the way, if the adjacents' choose to go read nastiness about themselves in gcs thats between them, their God, and their therapist, imo), it's another to post it where their friends and family can see it and humiliate them over and over.
As to me? I'm a very occasional blogger here. I still don't buy the sides, for a lot of reasons, including the coordinated posts yesterday. But ultimately, I'd like to see N and L make up their minds about what it is they want from fans. Do they want engagement, clicks and views? Or do they want privacy? Time will tell.
