I will not have violence in my home
As a Yoga Teacher, Marine Conservation Campaigner, and total Empath - I find myself quite often sitting in reflection, in prayer, meditating on a global shift in the way we treat ourselves, each other, and our planet. There are days where I read reports of the rapidly increasing rate of coral bleaching due to ocean acidification and just want to cry. I see governments exploiting people, places and resources, and I experience waves of feeling helpless. As I look around, I know I’m not the only one who feels like this... The more I ponder on the state of the world however, the more I think its less about “changing the world” and more about “changing ourselves”.
A personal hero of mine / very wise man named Mahatma Gandhi once said:
“What we are doing to the forests of the world is but a mirror reflection of what we are doing to ourselves and to one another.”
In my 24 years of life I have learnt that language is very powerful. That words are funny things. I have learnt that every human being will live a completely different life to the next and that our individual experiences shape and mould our perception. Certain words mean different things to different people. I have learnt that our words carry vibrations that can make or break others, for words carry emotions; stories; memories; triggers, and can be as sharp as swords.
I realised the velocity of an impact that words can have when I met my current boyfriend (whom I’m sure is a living, breathing angel). We were talking about my job as a Yoga Teacher. He is a surfer, and not really into Yoga, but (bless him) was trying to understand why so many people practice Yoga; why I practice Ashtanga Yoga most days; why I teach Yoga. He mentioned that his experience with people he has met who revolve their lives around Yoga are generally on a path of healing, rebuilding from being broken on some level... Broken. That word. He had no intention of calling me broken, nor was that the only thing he said...But hearing ‘that word’ describe my sacred practice was like a dagger to the heart. Not because of his words; but because of my experience with that word. The memories of an ex- boyfriend yelling at me, mid anxiety attack brought on by him pinning me against a wall by the throat, screaming at me that I'm broken; pathetic; useless. The memories of being told that so often I actually believed it.... Recognising this pattern within my mind and my association to that word really reiterated my favourite saying: “Experience shapes perception”. Suddenly, I became even more conscious of the words i use when speaking to others...
When I was asked to discuss the word “home”, I had all of these great ideas to talk about language and how I associate it with my favourite terms in the philosophy of Ashtanga Yoga - Ahimsa (non-violence) and Satya (truthfulness). The way we speak to ourselves. The way we interact with others. The way our external home - our environment - is a direct reflection of our internal home - our internal state of mind. I typed, then back spaced several times. I tried to find poetic ways to express what seemed so solid in my mind; a way others could resonate with my message. Ironically, I began to realise how fucking hard it is to write authentically about non violence when I had that little voice in my mind whispering ‘this article is terrible’.. ‘you cant even write’.. It took a lot of meditation, a lot of journalling and a lot of vegan chocolate to reach the end. The more I noticed this pattern within myself, the more I found others opening up to me about experiencing the same self doubt. I realised three things: 1) My goodness I'm grateful for meditation and the skills it has taught me to observe and move through these patterns, rather than attaching and identifying with them.. and 2) It is so common it is to be sucked into this vortex of self doubt and insecurity. To place an enormous amount of pressure on ourselves for no real reason. To listen to these violent, destructive emotions stemming from fear + our ego’s. 3) No wonder the world is in the state it is if we all feel like this.
My favourite poet Rumi writes:
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
I began to ask the questions: What if we all practiced Ahimsa, or Non Violence with the way we speak to ourselves? If we re-trained the way we perceive things? If we removed the need to judge ourselves, and completely and whole heartedly accept the fact that we are all humans just trying to do our best with what we know? What if we practiced being really honest with ourselves? If we sat and just observed the different voices flowing through our minds, without getting sucked into their whirlpool of confusion and doubt; instead learning about the aspects of light and dark within us and choosing which one we’d like to surrender to?
Could you imagine the global shift that would come if we, as individuals practiced non violence and truthfulness towards the self, in our own home, our minds? The compassion and consciousness that would sprout in each person? How just by radically loving and accepting ourselves - we start to see others in the same lens. Could you imagine if we learnt how to accept one another despite our flaws and differences? Could you imagine the change that would come just by doing these things, that would ripple from our home, to others around us, to the people around them, and so on and so forth? Could you imagine the benefits that would follow - for ourselves, our loved ones, our future children, our animals, our waters and forests? I believe in the rise of non violent and truthful thoughts, words and actions within each human. I believe in the good things that are already here, and that are coming. Do you?
Mollie Cox
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