The FE:Mailer

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R: You are undoubtedly an awesome footballer, where did it all begin? J: I started playing football in the back garden with my next door neighbours when I was around 5 years old. This then progressed to going for a kick about down the public park before I joined the local coaching clinic which was run by my first ever football coach- Jim Ross. I played football on the island until I was 13 at which age I joined my first football team. R: What were the challenges of playing football and coming from an island? J: The travel was obviously the biggest challenge growing up and playing for a football team. At the time there was no football team or school team for a young female footballer to play for on the island so I chose to travel to the ‘mainland’ on a weekly basis to train and compete with my first club- Paisley Saints. I was fortunate to have very supportive parents and in particular my dad who was willing to commit so much of his time to take me away on the boat and drive me to my required destinations. There was also the challenge of finding accommodation for the evening after training had finished as there was no option to get home since the last boat would sail at 7.45pm. Looking back I suppose it was a huge commitment for a young teenager to make, since I was giving up my weekends to be away in Paisley to play & I missed many social events over the years, but I thoroughly enjoyed doing what I was doing and would’ve chosen to play football over anything which I suppose is one of the reasons that I am where I am today. R: With Swedish team, Vittsjo GIK you scored an incredible 51 goals in 82 games. Not to mention you were the second highest goal scorer in the World Cup Qualifying campaign with Scotland last year! What is your secret to keeping composed on the pitch? J: I am always looking to get better as a player and will take time during the week to work on particular aspects of my game that I want to improve on. I would say this helps me when it comes to being able to perform skills under pressure during a game. Also over time and with increased experience I have grown as a player and I suppose with this comes composure. R: You’re now playing professionally for Manchester City, how does this compare to playing for your country in the Scotland team? J: I really enjoy playing for both club and country and its great to be challenged as a player in different environments. As a footballer you spend a lot of time with your club team and only get the opportunity to meet up with the national team once a month if even that. I am fortunate to play with many talented players at both Manchester city and with the Scotland national team and although the tactics and opposition vary when playing with either team, both are of a very high standard and I am privileged to have the opportunity to be a part of both teams and work with the players and coaches involved. R: How do you think the female game compares to the male game? J: There is the obvious physical differences between the male and female game with male footballers generally being stronger, faster and fitter than female athletes which in turn makes the female game a slower game to watch however in terms of technical ability and the tactical side of the game I think they are on a par with one another. The popularity of the women’s game is continually growing with crowd numbers on the rise and media attention within the game increasing. It hasn’t reached the same level as the male game yet however the fan base and support the female game has at the moment is great and I’m sure over time it is only going to get bigger. R: Did you always know football was going to be your career or did you start out doing something else? J: Growing up I always dreamed of being a professional football player however at the time the opportunity for a female to do so was rare and something that wasn’t common for a Scottish player to do at the time. I was always of the attitude that I would be willing to do any kind of job so long as I was able to combine it with playing football at a high level. I never for one moment anticipated the rapid growth that the women’s game has taken over the past 10-15 years and the opportunity to play professionally is now a possibility in England along with various other countries in Europe. I also went to university and got a degree in sports and exercise science which I had intended to use if things had not worked out with the dream of playing football full time and which I plan to use to some extent once my playing career is finished. R: Are there any major breakthroughs or learning curves you have had since playing with Glasgow City and Paisley Saints? How has your game changed? J: I think the experience I gained both as a person and a player during my time in Sweden was huge for me. I had played with Glasgow City in Scotland for a number of years and it had been a spell with a lot of winning and success, however moving to Sweden and joining a club that was not the top team provided me with a different kind of challenge. Experiencing losing wasn’t something I had ever really faced as a player and I had to learn how to deal with the upsets and disappointments that came along with such results. I am constantly trying to better myself as a player and work on aspects of my game that need improved and so I think my game is always changing and growing. I have played various different roles and positions on the pitch during my career and so my game is continuously changing and adapting to the challenges that my role in the team presents me. R: You have an incredible record on the pitch but is there one moment you can remember that stands out? J: I will always remember my first cap for the Scotland National Team when I came on as a substitute at half time against England in a friendly match. I know this is going to sound cheesy….. but regardless of the result (we lost 3-0) there is no prouder moment than taking to the field to represent your country and fulfilling a lifetime dream. R: What would your advise be to women interested in pursuing a career in football? J: First and foremost enjoy the game, work hard and take whatever opportunities come your way. Always be looking to develop and improve as a player and take advise from your coaches to help you get better. You can follow Jane on twitter here, @janeross10

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Change

If somebody had asked me where I’d have seen my self in five years time five years ago I never would have said here. Hi my name is Alison and I think I have the best job in the world.

From an early age I had been captivated by creativity in a very varied form, I danced, I played music, I painted, I wrote… The list goes on. I loved it. I didn’t want to stop doing it. So, naturally I chose Art School when I had finished high school. I was “gifted” with being creative, a concept that I now fully believe to be a complete load of bollocks but that’s for another blog post. I loved it there and I learned more about myself and what makes me tick than I had ever anticipated. It was because I went to Art School that I became a nurse.

Sadly there was no dramatic story to lead me into my profession, no light bulb moment as such but it was through my creative practice that I was able to have the confidence to make the change. I wanted to help people- simple as that really. I’ve had countless conversations with people regarding my “big change” and “completely different path” but in reality I can’t see it that way. For me, it was almost a seem-less link between the two. I was never going to stop being creative just because I was studying nursing and sometimes I do think I have to re-iterate that to people. What may come across as a big change to the outsider’s perspective doesn’t have to be so. I never planned this but I am so grateful that I did it and I’m very thankful to have be raised in a family who always pushed me to do whatever made me happy rather than what would make me the most money.

Nursing is a job unlike any other in my opinion and I feel extremely privileged to do the work I do. Constantly interacting with people and striving to help others is a hard job- seriously hard at times. I’ve never cried more than I have when I was training to be a nurse but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Yes it was a change from what I had set out to do but hey, doesn’t everybody say change is good? It is. I’m telling you that it really is.

I was (thankfully) never made to feel as though I had failed in one profession and was successful in another and that is something I know isn’t the case for everybody making a change in their career. I owe my success in this stage of my life to my previous successes, which begs the question of how we define success in the first instance. Again, possibly a bigger subject for another piece of writing but the condensed version is that we do what makes us happy. To me that is the ultimate success and if you can be happy in your job, no matter what it is or what you get paid or how much your feet kill you at the end of the day- you’ve made it.

Here’s to the next one!

Alison McGregor

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The Beauty of Failure

Career is an alien word to me. Work is work – but career brings to mind a sort of shiny image of resilient aspiration. One I’m not familiar with. And so I decide I’m not the aspirational type. Career is flouncy big talk. Pass my dirty apron!

I wonder why I cringe at the word. As of late, it’s a question I am forced to ask myself. After years of mumbling and grumbling, someone took a chance on me – and here I am with the opportunity to pursue a career.

More often than not, tales of career paths have a similar theme; one of chance. I always thought that the chance was something offered up by an employer. As true as this is, I’ve discovered that you have to take a chance on yourself first.

I’ve never found this easy. I think women in particular have a tendency to be overly self-critical, which results in us becoming our own worst enemies. This often coincides with growing up; as I reached my mid-to-late teens, I shied away more and more from putting my work on the line, in fear of that horrible word, failure.

One of my favourite quotes is by a certain Pablo Picasso:

“It took me four years to paint like Rafael, but a lifetime to paint like a child”

Picasso mastered the art of classical painting from an early age, yet went on to be renowned for his child-like Cubist work. Every child is creative, yet it is the true artists who maintain or regain that same level of creativity into adulthood. I don’t think this stops at the arts.

In any walk of life, it takes tremendous courage to be bold and to put your ideas on the line for judgement. As we grow older, we become driven by our fear of failure.

Our schooling may be a catalyst for this. The driving narrative behind our education is often not “be the best you”, but “don’t be the worst”. I was in the “worst” category. I have never been a high achiever academically. This certainly knocked my confidence in myself and my work. I figured the big girl stuff just wasn’t for me. Having never been to university, a career definitely wasn’t on the cards.

I used to be a serial scruncher upper until my mum taught me never to throw away any work – no matter how bad I think it is. Looking back at old bits and bobs has proven to be very useful, even just to understand myself. It’s natural to hate your own work. Especially after being knocked back. The Russian writer, Vladimir Nabokov would have destroyed his masterpiece, “Lolita” had his wife not stopped him.

Sometimes we have to stop overanalysing everything and take a leap into the unknown. That for me is working in the fast-pace environment of politics. Anyone who knows me, will indeed know I don’t do “fast-pace”. That is until now. I used to be the “all or nothing” sort of perfectionist and believed that something wasn’t worth doing if it wasn’t perfect. The Godsend is that I don’t have a choice on that now. Politics doesn’t respect my hemming and hawing. Instead, I’m forced to work out-with my comfort zone and submit work I’m not completely happy with. Now that I have allowed myself to, I can work freely.

In her novel, “The Golden Notebook”, Nobel prize winner, Doris Lessing penned a few worthy life lessons. Here is one:

“What’s terrible is to pretend that second-rate is first-rate. To pretend that you don’t need love when you do; or you like your work when you know quite well you’re capable of better.” Anna Knox Instagram Facebook

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Too…

Too ambitious. Too driven. Too motivated. Too dedicated. Too career focused.

These are just some of the reasons that have been used as an excuse by boys to break up with me throughout my life. To me, these words - ambitious, driven, motivated, dedicated, career focused – are positive. They describe someone who knows that they want and how to get it. But when it comes to women they are used as negatives. They are words used to make women feel like they are doing something wrong or something that they shouldn’t be doing. Men don’t want to be with a woman like that, they want someone to take care of. Society today is still hell bent on making women feel like they have to be a certain way and look a certain way in order to be a woman. You must fit into a neat little box in order to conform to society. You must strive to be a loving mother and a doting wife. You must stay at home and look after your house and your family whilst being a size 8 and wearing immaculate make up. All these ‘musts’ are just not realistic or practical. Ever since I can remember I have never had a great desire to have children. Although, I wouldn’t say I never would. Having children isn’t goal of mine, and even at 22 that feeling hasn’t changed. People continue to tell me that I will change my mind as I get older, but that hasn’t happened yet. For me it is not a priority in life or something I ever even daydream about. My whole life I have been career driven. Everything I do is to get me a step closer to my dream job. I put off relationships to focus on work. I fought with every ounce of my being to get to university, and I can tell you it wasn’t easy. I think part of that is down to my mother. She raised me and my siblings single handed and fought for us to have the best of everything. She put off her career to raise us all, and for that I will forever be thankful. But I knew that’s not how I wanted to do things. There seems to be a stigma attached to children from single parent families and I wanted to prove everyone wrong. But ultimately I want to make my mum proud. I want to show her that her delaying her dreams was worth something. I want to show the world that a woman can achieve incredible things. I want to follow in the footsteps of the many brave and powerful women before me. In my lifetime I have seen a woman become the First Minister of my country, a woman becoming the 2nd female Prime Minister of the UK and a woman being the official nominee for President in the USA. I have seen the Scottish Cabinet become gender balanced, more women in CEO positions and a woman take her children into a committee meeting in the UK Parliament. More women than ever before are MPs in Westminster. More women are fighting for their education and equal rights across the world. More women are standing up for their beliefs. I want to join these women. I want to focus on my career. I want to change perceptions of women and show that they can do whatever they want to do. Instead of using the word ‘too’, I want people to say that I am; SO ambitious, SO driven, SO motivated, SO dedicated and SO career focused. That is when I know my work is done and the many women that follow me will not face the struggles that we face today to be equal. Alisha McMillan @alishaann94 Flower o’ Scotland

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Unlearning.

You know that ‘I should have achieved so much more by now’ feeling – the one you get when you’re twenty something and you still haven’t got shit figured out? That’s actually just wiring, you need to unlearn that. Who told you that you should have achieved more by now, and why the hell are you listening them?

When I left university I had no idea what a career was, or what I wanted my own to look like. I thought a career was a job, or many jobs – things that you do. I was wrong.

After two years of working full-time, I’ve learned that a career is a journey; not direct or clear, but long and meandering. It starts and pauses, and twists and turns and sometimes it’s great but most of the time you have no idea what’s going on or what is coming next – and it’s okay.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that university - where I spent four years, racked up thousands of pounds of debt, an almost lost my mid-  had not prepared me for the world of work. But those first month were awful.

It was only when I’d started my first real job that I realised I was out of my depth. I mean, I’d had jobs in offices, and on shop floors and behind bars. I knew what it meant to get through the day, but I had no real expectation or understanding of how to build a career or credibility, to manage myself and others. So far I’d gotten through life by being good at reading and writing essays – but no one cares about how clever you are outside of academia - and that was a tough pill to swallow.

The first six months was a huge adjustment, I mean it was pretty horrendous. I felt like I wasn’t doing it right. Re-configuring my brain to understand corporate speak, learning about the industry and market place, about organizing myself, internal politics and navigating your way around it. Feeling like a fraud every day, waiting for someone to call me out – or sack me. Having to be around people who I didn’t know every single day, adapting and changing the way I work to suit others; I mean, my boss actually drew me a diagram once, he drew two circles, one was of the team that I was in, and the other was me – the circle that represented me sat just at the edge of the first circle. I was too much of an individual he said, I needed to start sharing my creative ways with others in the team – become more collaborative.

Learning to understand organizational structures, and hierarchy, and what I could and couldn’t get away with saying or doing. I mean, retrospectively these were all useful things to be confronted by, but at the time I thought that my finding the transition so difficult meant that I wasn’t cut out for it all. That I wasn’t good enough to do the job I was doing, or that something was very wrong with me – which I know is categorically untrue.

Looking back after a couple of years of full time ‘adulting’ I’m really proud of myself. I’ve taken risks that bombed and learned much about myself along the way. I’m moving in the right direction in terms of my career and I know I wouldn’t have gotten through those first years without much love and support of mentors, colleagues and friends. The reality is that the education system doesn’t prepare us for the world, but shared experiences might help us to see that were not alone. I thought I’d share a few of the lesson’s I’ve learned thus far in the hope that it provides some comfort.

Keep your options open and avoid tunnel vision.

It’s so easy to become focused on a thing that you want to achieve; particularly when taking the first few steps in your career, but the danger is that you close yourself off to all of the random opportunities that might come your way if you’d expand your line of sight; opportunities that might help you gain the knowledge, skills or contacts that you need to take you to where you’d like to be.

When thinking about the career you’d like, or the type of work that you want to do it really helps to think about the type of activities and tasks you would like to do on a daily basis rather than a role. Consider the type of working environment you’d like to be in and the type of lifestyle that you would like to live. For example, do you value your autonomy? Do you prefer to work as a team? Do you enjoy travel? If so, how much travel? What kind of commute are you prepared to do, really…? What would make you feel compromised or uncomfortable? What are your core values? For example, I left my full time office job to work from home for six months. It was awful. I was lonely, and I didn’t feel like I was able to grow in the same way that I would had I been around others. A valuable lesson and note to self – while I enjoy freedom, I work best where there is structure and part of this comes from working in an environment where you can bounce ideas off others, get feedback and generally speak to someone – face to face. Operating with my colleagues via email and messaging and Skype just didn’t work for me. Remember you’re not in a race; a career is a long term learning journey, a series of jobs and things that you do, places you go and things you learn.

Find a mentor.

If you’re finding it difficult to adjust in to a new role, it’s really important to have someone to talk to. I chose to confide in women that I admired for different reasons, however they all had much more experience of life and work and I found that it wasn’t so much advice that I gained, but lots of questions that made me think about how I might want to manage, and navigate my way through the world. They were approachable and held similar values and principles to myself – find a few mentors. Utilise your networks, and if your network is small, maybe contact someone whose work you admire or reach out to someone who is involved in great projects in the workplace.

It’s completely normal to feel out of your depth, and like a bit of a fraud in your first job.

You have no idea how to navigate your new environment, and no one is going to teach you that. However there are many people who would be happy to give you feedback and advice if you would just ask. Be open and honest about your feelings, ask for regular feedback from your line manager or a colleagues. Believe it or not your boss has a serious stake in your development, and a vested interest in your success. It sounds like common sense but you’d be surprised how easy it is to drown and become silenced by your anxiety. Don’t go through it all alone.

Learning to work smarter, not harder.

It is totally normal to become overwhelmed by work, but if you’re always swamped then you’ll need to think about trying to work smarter, and part of this means asking for help.

Around six months in to my new job, I realised that I was one of a few people who would stay late in the office to finish my work. My colleagues thought I was really eager to ‘push on’ but to be honest this really wasn’t the reason I was leaving the office after 7pm most nights.

During a one to one with my boss, I mentioned that I felt I didn’t have time to get all of the work done during the day. My boss soon pointed out to me that I had just as many hours in the day as my colleagues, so if the work wasn’t getting done in those hours I might need to re-evaluate my day to understand what was slowing me down, once I understand this I’d  need to work out a fix. My boss also told me that work should not infringe on my personal time, and where it does I really need to understand why that is happening.

This was great advice, and so I started by looking at my work pattern and my productivity levels. I soon discovered that I was at my most productive just before lunch, however I spent this time doing the things I enjoyed doing, consequently leaving all my heavier and important tasks until after lunch when I was slightly slower. I started prioritising my most important and laborious tasks to be done during my peak. In addition to this I requested to go on a training course called ‘Organising Work and Time’. I now have a rule – a maximum of 1 late night a week, to be used sparingly…

Your mental health is more important than your job, and anything else quite frankly.

If the thing that you spend most of your time doing is causing you an inordinate amount of stress or anxiety – and you’ve sought ways to limit that stress to no avail. Then please talk to someone and if you really need to, just leave. My anxiety caused insomnia for a long time. I would finish work late, and go home to no sleep only to do the same thing again the next day. I felt like I was drowning and I didn’t tell anyone about it for a long time – had I known that I would have been offered support then I would have been more open about it from the beginning. I found a therapist, and there are free counselling services in Glasgow

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Have patience with yourself, and others.

‘What is life?’ is one of my favourite phrases, and while I don’t think I’ll ever figure that one out, I now understand that the pace of life is changeable. You might look back over the past months, or years and wonder what the heck you’ve actually done with your time. It’s important to learn to feel okay about that because it won’t change. You can do something or nothing, life can be boring or overwhelming but its’ okay.

Go ahead and be introspective, but don’t persecute yourself for taking time to figure things out as you go. Everything takes time, and much of that time will be spent doing unremarkable things and I’ve only just understood that this is okay.

Being selfish is healthy.

Self-care is so important.  It’s important to think about yourself, to ask yourself what you want. My therapist taught me to ask myself what I want at any given moment and to keep asking myself until I find the answer. Then do exactly that. I really helped, particularly when I felt stressed and couldn’t figure out how to get out of the funk. Try it.

It’s okay to say, I don’t know or I don’t understand or simply NO. You’re not stupid for not knowing things. A wise person once told me to always be curious – keep asking yourself and others why? Why do we do things this way? Could we do it another, more effective way? How?

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes

Reflect on your decisions and choices and understand what they mean for you.Theoretically I know that ‘failure’ is a fantastic learning opportunity, but emotionally I’ve struggled  to come to terms with the fact that I would need to muddle around in the dark, take opportunities and make mistakes in order to grow. Its okay.

Gillian Katungi

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[thefemailer]

Issue #2

1st August 2016

It's all about careers

Oh Hi Femailers, Thanks for sticking around for Issue #2. This month it’s all about CAREERS, it feels like one big lesson for life and it's chock-a-block with help, advice and guidance from a team of talented writers. I guess we can’t talk about careers in a female empowerment mailer without acknowledging from the onset that women are STILL paid less than men. Yup, just because you are a women you can expect to earn less in your lifetime doing the exact same job as a man. Currently the wage gap for full time workers sits at 13.9%. That’s some sexist BS right there. It sucks for so many reasons, mainly it being illegal. When I was younger I was told not to talk about money and that followed through into my early working life. I found it hard to negotiate contracts and had no idea what I should have been being paid. It wasn’t until a female colleague of mine took me aside and told me exactly what I should be earning and what I should ask for on my next contract. I immediately increased my earnings by 25% per week! The most helpful thing we can do to break down this sexist BS is to talk to each other about the realities of the workplace and then start challenging any inequalities we face. Gillian has some stellar advice on the importance of seeking out mentors in our careers. Or if you are accomplished in your career why not take a younger woman under your wing and teach her what you wish you had known when you were starting out. Careers is a funny subject, especially for those of us who have no idea what we are doing, thankfully, this seems to be a recurring theme throughout every article. In case there is any doubt, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. Anna has written wonderfully about coming to terms with having a career and embracing our failures in the process. Alison also sums this up perfectly, explaining why she went to art school and graduated as a nurse. Our interview this week is with Jane Ross, a professional footballer who currently plays for Manchester City in the English FA WSL as well as the Scotland woman's national team. As the second highest goal scorer in the World Cup Qualifying campaign with Scotland last year, this girl knows about ambition and drive! And Alisha talks about exactly that in her article, Too..., smashing the perceptions of strong independent women! Whether your still studying, starting out, established or happy doing exactly what you're doing let us know! Get in touch. Tweet us! Comment on Facebook and say hello. If you want advice, great, you have a team of women here happy to help and encourage! Go girl! Smash it! Rhi xo @rhiannonv

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An Interview with Angela Crawley MP

R: Now you are an MP and you live between London and your constituency Lanark & Hamilton East. What does home mean to you? A: As a Member of Parliament for Lanark & Hamilton East, the House of Commons is my place of work, and I will always take the responsibility entrusted in me, to represent my constituents seriously. My home will always be the town of Hamilton, where I grew up and where my family and I still live and home to infamous Hamilton Accies football team. R: Why do you think it is important to be involved in politics? A: My passion for politics was inspired by the many incredible female politicians who came before me, women like Winnie Ewing, Margo McDonald, and my Scottish Parliament colleagues & my mentors, Christina McKelvie, Aileen Campbell, Clare Adamson and our First Minister, Nicola Sturgeon. I believe that politics should be representative of public life, and that can only be achieved by ensuring that all Parliaments are as reflective of society and all its diverse make up as possible, including age, gender, race, and sexual orientation. I only have to look around the benches of my SNP colleagues at Westminster, to know that democracy is greatly enriched by this diversity. R: What advice would you give to other women who are wanting to make a difference to the society we live in? A: My advice to any women who want to make a difference in society is to get involved. Join your local community councils, parents join your local parent & teacher school councils, take up roles on public boards, and if you want to have your voices heard, and ensure the voices of others are heard stand for public office. Whether your passion is local government services, national or European government policy making, find a mentor who will provide support and advice (some of the best mentors I have had are also my male colleagues) and do not be afraid to make your voices heard. R: What projects are you involved with in parliament that you can talk about? A: As the SNP Spokesperson for Women, Equalities & Children, and I also sit on the Women & Equalities Select Committee. In the first year, we have held an inquiries on issues such as the gender pay gap, pregnancy and maternity discrimination, issues faced by the transgender community, and employment opportunities for Muslim women. Closer to home my passion is to deliver for the communities across my constituency. I am passionate about driving regeneration in the Hamilton Town Centre, bringing employment opportunities to the area by hosting an employment fair in Carluke, hosting specialised surgeries in Larkhall and Forth, to help people get the right advice and support to navigate their way through the welfare system, and tackling poverty because one child growing up in poverty, is one child too many. R: What put you on the path of becoming an MP? Was there a defining moment you can remember? A: I first recall a mock election in my first year of high school, where we discussed the election system and published manifestos of policies that mattered to us. I found it difficult to reconcile the idea of inequality, and that some children were born with less than others. Tackling these inequalities and eradicating child poverty are just some of the things that inspire me to get our of bed every day and strive for change. It was the SNP's campaign to scrap the graduate endowment fee, essentially back door tuition fees, that inspired me to join the party. The parties policy on no tuition fees for students studying your first degree, as allowed many people from deprived backgrounds to obtain a University education, and I fundamentally believe that education should be based on your ability to learn, not your ability to pay. R: Do you think your experience as an MP is different because you are a women? A: I think my experience as an MP is different for a variety of reasons because I am a women, I am relatively young, I am openly gay and because I fundamentally believe another Scotland is possible. I'm not in Westminster to simply accept the status quo, but to challenge it, and make real changes for the benefits of people's lives. R: What do you see the role of the LGBT+ community in politics is? A: I think we still have a long way to go in terms of equalities, in every sense, whether it's in terms of wider inequalities with regards to gender, race, socio-economic background, but specifically with regards to LGBT+ it is incredible that we have several political leaders in Scotland who identity as lesbian or gay, and equally we have great support in our First Minister, who has been progressive and forward thinking on issues of equalities. There are a large number of openly gay SNP MPs at Westminster, making it the 'gayest parliament in Europe', and giving a voice to LGBT+ people and being role models for many young people. However we still have a long way to go until there is true equality, raising awareness, tackling bullying, and allowing LGBT+ people to feel safe to express themselves and who they love, because love is love, will go some way to tackling the challenges that LGBT+ people face in their daily lives. R: As shadow spokesperson for Equalities, Women and Children, what do you see as the challenges facing these groups at the moment? A: I believe that a better future is possible, when women have true parity with men, tackling the gender pay gap, occupational segregation and underemployment, pension inequality, pregnancy and maternity discrimination, violence against women and girls... I could continue. We must continue to challenge the many forms of systemic inequality that exist for women, because only by doing so, will we achieve a more equal society. R: What are your hopes and visions for the future for women? A: I want to see a world were women are truly equal to men, where all women and girls have access to the same resources and opportunities, to achieve their full potential. We must continue to call for equal pay for equal work, more women in boardrooms, and involved in the decision-making process through greater representation in our parliaments and in governments. We can build the kind of systemic change that we want to see through better law making, which the inequalities that women experience throughout their lives. R: How can we work together to achieve these hopes and visions? A: All Parliament's have a responsibility to not simply balance their books, but to deliver change, when I compare the outdated systems at Westminster with the progressive, outward looking policies implemented by the Scottish Government at Westminster. I am confident that when parties work together to deliver change, or challenge austerity to create opportunities we can make real, sustainable change. You can follow Angela on Twitter here @AngelaCrawleyMP

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HOME

I’m not from here — not originally anyway. Sure, Glasgow’s home now, but Inverness is where I was born. I grew up there looking out onto rolling grey hills; swathes of moody heather; and vast, open skies, just like a postcard. Our wee house clung to the stony coast, underneath arcs of salty spray and strong winds. That house has a history, built just after the Jacobite uprising in the mid-1700s its walls were old, cold stone that chilled the rooms. But my memories from inside those walls are happy ones, cherished ones.

When I first moved away to Glasgow for university (despite loving my new adventure) I would mark train home in my diary for the third week in December, anticipating going back to the familiarity of my parents’ house, where I knew I’d find soup bubbling on the hob and a small fire in the ancient Rayburn. So I don’t know when I started putting train home to also mean returning to Glasgow. It happened without me noticing. Home was in two places now.

Glasgow is where I did my growing up — in the messy expanse of this city I’ve found friends, supporters, and allies — and I’ve constructed myself as the same. I’ve offered my shoulder to cry on. I’ve rallied to causes. I’ve found people just like me. So it’s here that I’ve set down my roots. It’s here that I feel that I belong.

The other day in George Square I gave an interview to a journalist about the EU referendum result… What do you make of the result? Disappointing, worrying, bleak. What did you think of the debate? Sensationalist and unethical. What will happen next? We don’t know, but we’re worried. What was the point of gathering in George Square given that the referendum was over? To show solidarity with the city’s immigrants, to make it clear that we think differently to the politicians scapegoating people who have come here to make the UK their home. What would that do? We couldn’t be sure, but we hoped to offer reassurance and forge a positive route forwards. Great, and what’s your name? Aileen McKay. Where are you from? Glasgow. Thanks for your time. The reporter closed their notepad, smiled, and walked away before I realised. I’d said Glasgow without even thinking about it.

It was a pretty pleasing realisation. Six years on from arriving here as a wide-eyed country lass, I feel closer to Glasgow than ever. I love it here. It’s big enough to get lost in for an afternoon, but you’ll probably still manage to run into someone you know. Even the folk you don’t know are dead, dead friendly. And it’s a beautiful place: from my snug corner of post-war council estate in Govan, to the tall tenements in the south and the west; from the iconic skyline to the green parks; from the rushing motorways speeding high over the river to the cobbled back streets.

My Dad jokes that he’s not sure if I adopted Glasgow or if Glasgow adopted me. I reckon it’s a bit of both… Glasgow is my home and I belong to Glasgow.

Aileen McKay @AbsolutelyAileen The Wish Tree Project @BookwormMcKay

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Home.

When I say ‘home’, what do you picture? Do you picture cottage with a roaring fire, wooden beams and a freshly boiled kettle? Or perhaps a sleek city apartment, walls adorned with paintings by your favourite artist? Until recently, ‘home’ for me was a thing. A physical place. Bricks and mortar, wood and cement. For the past 24 months, I’ve felt like I have not had a home: I’ve moved house. I’ve moved city. I’ve moved country. I’ve moved country again. But still, no home. I’ve felt unsettled, untethered: a loose cannon. A few months ago, however, I had time and space. Time and space to think. To not think. To empty my mind and focus on everything. To focus on nothing. I had time to make thorough preparations for a 100 mile running race that I was about to embark on: preparations that wound up leading me home. Preparations tightly wove my physical and mental well-being together. Every day contained as many greens as I could fit in, the most nutritious meals three times a day, daily yoga, writing, and even some colouring in. Realising that when I nurtured and nourished by physical being, my mental being flourished and thrived. Knitting the relationship between physical and mental being was the vital step in finding home. I am my own home. For me, when I looked after my body to the highest possible level, I felt calm and settled in my skin. I felt a sense of peace and stillness in my body, and in my mind. My body became my home. Treating this newly found home with love and respect seemed to dissipate anxieties about being and belonging. I became happy in where I was living.  This was the first step in finding home. Love: self-love and feeling rooted in that feeling.   I came across a quote from Maya Angelou, an American author, poet and civil rights activist. The quote spoke to my heart, my soul, and my anxieties. You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great. I had a defining moment when I felt a wave of warmth. A comfort. A long lost feeling of belonging. I can only ascribe it to one thing: finally feeling home. Home was the knowledge that although my heart and my love lay in the mountains, so long as I had love for myself and my home every day, I would always feel connected to them. Looking back to pictures from Switzerland and Nepal, although giving me itchy feet, reminds me of where I can call home: a mental state – somewhere above the clouds. Whether my body is there or not, it doesn’t matter. Home is in the mind and the heart. Home is not where the body is, but where the heart is. When my head and my feet tell me that I do not belong, I let my heart remind me that I am in fact, always home. Home is love. When times have been unsettled, keeping a strong emotional connection of love has helped provide a sense of calm. Strive to love your body, your mind and your thoughts. Love yourself. Love your quirks, your strengths and your weaknesses. Love every part of you. When you find that love, you will find love, calm and peace every day. You will eventually build your sense of home. For me, a sense of home can come and go: it is not a solid, permanent entity. It fluctuates in waves, but can always be found with working on embracing every aspect of my body and soul. If you’re feeling lost, untethered, or free-wheeling, root yourself. Take your thoughts and your energy back to you. Find that self-love, self-respect and self-worth. Whether that is through daily yoga, greens, gym-work or otherwise: do whatever it is you need to do to find that love. Find comfort and peace in knowing that you do have a home. It might not be a house, a city, or a place. But where there is love, there is a home. Cat Attfield @cat__attfield www.likealass.com

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I will not have violence in my home

As a Yoga Teacher, Marine Conservation Campaigner, and total Empath - I find myself quite often sitting in reflection, in prayer, meditating on a global shift in the way we treat ourselves, each other, and our planet. There are days where I read reports of the rapidly increasing rate of coral bleaching due to ocean acidification and just want to cry. I see governments exploiting people, places and resources, and I experience waves of feeling helpless. As I look around, I know I’m not the only one who feels like this... The more I ponder on the state of the world however, the more I think its less about “changing the world” and more about “changing ourselves”.

A personal hero of mine / very wise man named Mahatma Gandhi once said:

“What we are doing to the forests of the world is but a mirror reflection of what we are doing to ourselves and to one another.”

In my 24 years of life I have learnt that language is very powerful. That words are funny things. I have learnt that every human being will live a completely different life to the next and that our individual experiences shape and mould our perception. Certain words mean different things to different people. I have learnt that our words carry vibrations that can make or break others, for words carry emotions; stories; memories; triggers, and can be as sharp as swords. I realised the velocity of an impact that words can have when I met my current boyfriend (whom I’m sure is a living, breathing angel). We were talking about my job as a Yoga Teacher. He is a surfer, and not really into Yoga, but (bless him) was trying to understand why so many people practice Yoga; why I practice Ashtanga Yoga most days; why I teach Yoga. He mentioned that his experience with people he has met who revolve their lives around Yoga are generally on a path of healing, rebuilding from being broken on some level... Broken. That word. He had no intention of calling me broken, nor was that the only thing he said...But hearing ‘that word’ describe my sacred practice was like a dagger to the heart. Not because of his words; but because of my experience with that word. The memories of an ex- boyfriend yelling at me, mid anxiety attack brought on by him pinning me against a wall by the throat, screaming at me that I'm broken; pathetic; useless. The memories of being told that so often I actually believed it.... Recognising this pattern within my mind and my association to that word really reiterated my favourite saying: “Experience shapes perception”. Suddenly, I became even more conscious of the words i use when speaking to others... When I was asked to discuss the word “home”, I had all of these great ideas to talk about language and how I associate it with my favourite terms in the philosophy of Ashtanga Yoga - Ahimsa (non-violence) and Satya (truthfulness). The way we speak to ourselves. The way we interact with others. The way our external home - our environment - is a direct reflection of our internal home - our internal state of mind. I typed, then back spaced several times. I tried to find poetic ways to express what seemed so solid in my mind; a way others could resonate with my message. Ironically, I began to realise how fucking hard it is to write authentically about non violence when I had that little voice in my mind whispering ‘this article is terrible’.. ‘you cant even write’.. It took a lot of meditation, a lot of journalling and a lot of vegan chocolate to reach the end. The more I noticed this pattern within myself, the more I found others opening up to me about experiencing the same self doubt. I realised three things: 1) My goodness I'm grateful for meditation and the skills it has taught me to observe and move through these patterns, rather than attaching and identifying with them.. and 2) It is so common it is to be sucked into this vortex of self doubt and insecurity. To place an enormous amount of pressure on ourselves for no real reason. To listen to these violent, destructive emotions stemming from fear + our ego’s. 3) No wonder the world is in the state it is if we all feel like this.

My favourite poet Rumi writes: 

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

I began to ask the questions: What if we all practiced Ahimsa, or Non Violence with the way we speak to ourselves? If we re-trained the way we perceive things? If we removed the need to judge ourselves, and completely and whole heartedly accept the fact that we are all humans just trying to do our best with what we know? What if we practiced being really honest with ourselves? If we sat and just observed the different voices flowing through our minds, without getting sucked into their whirlpool of confusion and doubt; instead learning about the aspects of light and dark within us and choosing which one we’d like to surrender to? Could you imagine the global shift that would come if we, as individuals practiced non violence and truthfulness towards the self, in our own home, our minds? The compassion and consciousness that would sprout in each person? How just by radically loving and accepting ourselves - we start to see others in the same lens. Could you imagine if we learnt how to accept one another despite our flaws and differences? Could you imagine the change that would come just by doing these things, that would ripple from our home, to others around us, to the people around them, and so on and so forth? Could you imagine the benefits that would follow - for ourselves, our loved ones, our future children, our animals, our waters and forests? I believe in the rise of non violent and truthful thoughts, words and actions within each human. I believe in the good things that are already here, and that are coming. Do you? Mollie Cox JalaYoga on Instagrom JalaYoga on Facebook www.jalayoga.co

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Sanctuary

Refuge or safety from pursuit, persecution, or other danger.

The Orlando shooting where a crazed gunman massacred 49 people in the gay nightclub Pulse, hit me hard. Although I didn’t literally know any of the people who were slain that night, I felt this betrayal of this sacred space for LGBTI people deeply. Now, America has a screwed up relationship with guns and it feels practically monthly that we watch these horrors unfold on social media, hear about the hypocrisy of politicians who offer their ‘thoughts and prayers’ for the family and friends of the dead whilst also taking huge sums of money from the gun lobby and voting against changes to gun ownership, change our profile pictures in solidarity, or hug our family and friends closer. But the Pulse shooting hit me in a different and more profound way; these 49 people who were out having a drink and a dance, some with their partners, others on the pull, some ready for a big night out, others ready to go after a quick drink and boogie, could have been 49 people in any gay bar or nightclub in the world. [Except for the 77 countries in the world where homosexuality is gay of course...] And they had gone there for the same reason most gay people go to gay bars or nightclubs - to seek sanctuary. The literal definition of sanctuary is Refuge or safety from pursuit, persecution, or other danger. But they weren’t even be safe there. They were slain because they were gay, because the psychopath who killed them didn’t like it when he saw two men kissing in the streets and decided that the best way to deal with his prejudice and hate was to kill many people, during Pride, in a place he knew many gay people would be - as a gay woman, this terrifies me. Because that prejudice exists everywhere. It rarely manifests itself is such a destructive way as in Orlando. But it does exist. Even in Scotland which is one of the best places in the world to be gay. Our Parliament has, proportionally, more gay, lesbian and bisexual members than any other parliament in the world. Three of the five party leaders are gay. The ruling party has the highest percentage of gay parliamentarians in the world. Our equalities legislation is among the best in the world. And still, in the figures from Stonewall Scotland’s seminal The School Report, over half of LGBT pupils in Scotland report homophobic bullying, and of them a quarter have either tried or considered trying to take their own lives. Ask your gay friends and family about experiences they have had kissing their partner in a public place; many will have had comments made and all will have had at least one experience where they have been fearful and thought twice about a wee peck on the lips after they have scanned who is around and decided it might not be worth the hassle. That needs to change. And it has changed immeasurably in Scotland over the past years, but we still have much to do. And we need your help. We need you to challenge homophobia wherever it occurs; if a friend says about something they don’t like ‘that’s so gay’ challenge it. If you see a same sex couple holding hands in the street, give them a smile not a glower. Let us know we can count on your support when we try to get inclusive education for all, and the rights of elderly LGBT people on to the political agenda. March with us a Pride marches in Edinburgh and Glasgow. Listen to us when we tell you what challenges we face in our day to day lives and vow to support us. We seek sanctuary in places like Pulse and Polo because we need these safe spaces to be ourselves – help us feel safe and secure in being ourselves everywhere. Kirsty MacAlpine @Kirst_MacAlps 

We will be releasing articles from Issue #1 throughout the month on our website or to get Issue #1 right now, straight to your inbox just sign up here - http://eepurl.com/bYbVnP

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Issue #1 1st July 2016

Welcome home to The FE:Mailer

Hello, Thank you so much for signing up for The FE:Mailer, you are now part of a growing network of women who want to change the world we live in by making informed choices through shared knowledge and experience. For a long time now I have had the idea to create a network of women, a space where we can share and really help each other. It wasn’t until I spoke to a close girlfriend of mine that this idea finally found a home in The FE:Mailer. It made me realise just how important our network of girlfriends are, and how important it is that we stick together, that we encourage and push each other to be the best we can be. Starting this project was scary! I was so aware of the doubt that started to creep in; telling me it wasn’t going to work, that no one would read it or that it was a stupid idea. The world has a plethora of messages for women about what we should do, wear, smell like, look like, feel like… it’s overwhelming! Stepping out and taking risks is actually quite radical, so welcome to the home of radical female empowerment. Once I got the ball rolling I was staggered by the response. Every friend I spoke to was supportive and when I started to reach out to contributors the content I got back for this issue blew me away! Not only had I created a home for my idea, more and more women had found a new home for their voice. ISSUE #1 is a bit of a test, bare with me, we are growing. And as The FE:Mailer grows I want YOU to be part of that process. Let me know what you think! What you would like to see more of? Got an idea for the next issue or a new segment? Great! Do you want to be a contributor? Amazing! Get. In. Touch! Love a particular contributor? Tell her! We really are trying to create a network of women empowering each other. Reach out and say hi! The first issue of The FE:Mailer has surpassed anything I thought I could achieve. We have contributors from around the globe and I am ecstatic to have an exclusive interview with Angela Crawley MP. One of the youngest Members of the UK parliament and shadow spokesperson for Equalities, Women and Children, Angela is a trailblazer and a champion for women everywhere. I am so excited to have her feature in Issue #1. As you read through the articles you will see that Issue #1 has the common theme of HOME running through it. When I asked for contributions a month ago I had no idea of the profound writings that I would get back based on recent events. At the start of June the Orlando shooting shook the whole world, Kirsty MacAlpine writes openly about how far we still have to go for equality. Mollie Cox writes a raw account of her experiences with violence, and Cat Attfield explores what it’s like to be between homes. At the end of June home in the UK changed forever with the result of the EU vote, and Aileen McKay writes beautifully about her thoughts for home now. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I have enjoyed putting it together. Let me know what you think! I look forward to hearing from you. Rhi xo @RhiannonV 

We will be releasing articles from Issue #1 throughout the month on our website or to get Issue #1 right now, straight to your inbox just sign up here - http://eepurl.com/bYbVnP

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Dropping #Issue1 this Friday the 1st of July, get it straight to your inbox by signing up here - http://eepurl.com/bYbVnP 😘😘 💌 www.thefemailer.com 💌

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Our first email will be sent out on the 1st of July, if you want to get it straight to your inbox sign up here - http://eepurl.com/bYbVnP

We aim to empower each other through shared knowledge in an attempt to change the world we live in through informed choices.

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Welcome home! Launching on the 1st of July. A brand new monthly email written by women, for women, about women. Sign up here to get it straight to your inbox - http://eepurl.com/bYbVnP