Dick Cheney, America’s most powerful modern vice president and chief architect of the “war on terror,” who helped lead the country into the
War criminal, domestic terrorist, oligarch puppet, shadow president, grifter, insider trader, and proto-MAGAt escapes prison by kicking the bucket. Satan personally appeared by his bedside to escort his wretched soul to Hell. He will be sharing the same circle of Hell with Nixon, Kissinger, and Reagan.
When asked about his favorite accomplishments he replied, “scamming billions through Halliburton during the Iraq war. Removing black and poor people at gunpoint from New Orleans after Hurricanes Katrina/Rita. Keeping the middle and working classes from getting their heads above water. Killing untold millions of Middle Easterners as a result of his illegal war in Iraq and the simultaneous forever war in Afghanistan. Sowing chaos, confusion, civil war, turmoil and suffering that would last for decades in the the Middle East. Allowing 9/11 to happen and cover up his complicity in the Energy Crisis and following that up with all-time high gas prices after the hurricanes. But his personal favorite was ruling as the unelected shadow president where he did as he pleased without question while “president” George “Dubya” Bush was high on cocaine.”
His legacy still haunts us today as he was the primary proponent of the “Unitary Executive Theory” which in a nutshell allows the president to rule like a dictator without question. Conservative brain bugs at the Heritage Foundation are using this to empower Trump to rule through executive orders.
He is survived by his wife Lynne who was sexually aroused by trampling liberals on tv. Lynne could often be seen on CNN and other cable news channels screaming insults at non-right anchors. He is also survived by his daughter Liz who voted with Trump 99.9% of the time and only broke with him after he tried to have her killed on Jan 6th. Liz was elected to Congress in part by publicly disowning her gay sister Mary to please far-right extremists in the GOP. Numerous other surviving relatives declined to have their names published out of shame and fear of retribution by Trump.