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drabble masterlist
James Potter
one shots:
only like you can: ex boyfriend!james and reader just can’t seem to stay away from each other. (7.9k words: ANGST AND FLUFF)(fem!reader)
tenderly, tragically: best friends aka idiots to lovers. they’ll never learn until they do (9.4k words: FLUFF AND SMUT)(fem!reader)
darling, i fancy you: yet another idiots to lovers. this time a college/muggle!au. they’re falling slowly but she hates him openly (8.2k words: FLUFF)(fem!reader)
don't want you like a best friend: "James is nervous about his inexperience with girls. Luckily he has a best friend who's more than willing to help" (2.5k: SMUT)(fem!reader)
hands that make hell seem cold: “Friends to lovers. Emphasis on lovers.” (3.2k: SMUT)(fem!reader)
Remus Lupin:
one shots:
you should see the things we do, baby: Remus and Reader decide to take advantage of teasing Sirius, and it leads to a lot more than a dirty dream (5.2k words: SMUT. 18+)(fem!reader)
series:
treacherous: This slope is treacherous, but you both realize that nothing safe is worth the drive. In which, Remus Lupin, ever the believer in his own flaws and failures, falls for someone he never expected to. (20.9k running word count: FLUFF AND ANGST)(fem!reader)
Sirius Black:
one shots:
you should see the things we do, baby: Remus and Reader decide to take advantage of teasing Sirius, and it leads to a lot more than a dirty dream (5.2k words: SMUT. 18+)(fem!reader)
Draco Malfoy
one shots:
isn’t it?: “Years after the battle at Hogwarts, reader runs into an unlikely old friend. A simple invitation to tea leads to much more.” (10k words: FLUFF)(fem!reader)
—summary: James being a softie for his sleepy love.
—word count: 640
—tw: literally nothing lol that's a first for me
— a/n: woah woah woah hold on.... Mizery wrote FLUFF??? NO ANGST? NO HURT? JUST FLUFF? crazy stuff happening here people, hold onto your hats! anyway, this is just a sweet little blurb because I haven't written in so long and wanted to give you all a little something! I love u all! xo Mizzy
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“Oi, shut up!” James scolded at his friends before chucking a pillow in their direction, accidentally hitting Sirius right in the face.
“What was tha’ for?!” Sirius whined, throwing the pillow back at James with a pout on his lips.
“Poor thing’s exhausted, quiet down!”
“You’re yelling too, you git.” Sirius grumbled and fell back into his chair, crossing his arms and shaking his head, still annoyed from being hit in the face with a pillow, causing Remus to chuckle.
“S’not funny, Moony.”
“S’a little funny.”
James just scoffed at his two friends and turned his body back to you, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. Now that he had shut up the loud boys, the common room was quiet aside from the sound of the fire cracking in the fireplace, and soft music humming from the record player in the corner of the room. Your legs were swung over James’ lap and you were wrapped tight like a burrito in your childhood blanket you brought with you from home, your face pressed against the curly haired boy’s neck with his head resting on yours, and it was pure bliss.
You’d been working your arse off all week, studying and working on extra credit projects and papers to try and get passing grades in all your classes before the end of the semester, it had been a rough couple of months, and your grades showed for it.
James had been worried sick for you. He found you multiple times in your dorm with your bedside lamp still on, surrounded by papers and still in a sitting position, a half eaten breakfast bar grasped in hand. He was scared you were going to work yourself sick, and you almost had, if he hadn’t worked with Marlene and Lily to lock you out of your dorm to keep you away from your assignments for just one night so you could just relax.
You’d been upset at first, panic bubbling in your chest and tears rising in your pretty eyes, but James brought you to your senses quickly, kissing your head and helping you change into comfortable clothes. You told him you weren’t tired and wanted to sit with him and the marauders for a bit and he gave in, carrying you down to the common room with him, only for you to fall asleep in his arms on the way.
“(Y/n).” James whispered, softly swiping his thumb across your cheek to gently wake you.
You hummed in acknowledgement but didn’t open your eyes.
“Want to go to my bed, love? Much more comfortable there.”
You nodded and James wasted no time standing up with his grip tight on you, giving his friends a quick nod before making his way to the stairs.
“G’night boys.” You mumbled.
“Goodnight, (Y/n)!”
“Get some sleep, darling!”
You smiled softly to yourself and nuzzled further into your boyfriend, reveling in the comfort of the scent of him and the scent of home from your blanket.
“Pretty baby.” James cooed as he laid you down in his bed, quickly discarding his school uniform and throwing the items on the floor and throwing on a pair of sweatpants before quickly jumping under the soft covers with you.
“Thank you, Jamesie.” You whispered before leaving a soft kiss against his collarbone. James replied with a kiss to the crown of your head, wrapping his arms tighter around you.
“M’sleepy love. Get some rest.” He said, his voice feather light as he brought his hands up under your jumper, running his fingers up and down your bare back. You sighed in contentment and let your body succumb to the deep slumber it’s been desperately needing.
Relief washed over James when he realized you were asleep, and he finally closed his eyes to join you in your sleep.
Summary: Based on the song ‘All About You’ by Mcfly (one of my absolute favourite songs ever), James and reader celebrate moving in together after Hogwarts.
A/N: this is pure fluff. Like there’s no other way to describe it. I love James Potter so much and when I listened to the song the other day this just kind of jumped out at me. Probably fluffy to the point where it’s also very cringe (be warned). Haven’t proofread!
Wordcount: 1.1k
The last cardboard box had been thrown into the corner of the kitchen, a problem to be dealt with the next morning, as James Potter sank into a chair, exhaustion taking over his body from a long day of unpacking.
From the corner of the room, he heard the soft crackle of the record player as Y/N turned to look at him, a soft smile warming her face. “Care for a dance, Jamesy?” Despite the aching of his body, he couldn’t help mirroring her expression as he hauled himself up and swept her into his arms, one arm around her waist and the other tucking a loose strand from the ponytail that had been steadily falling apart all day behind her ear.
“I couldn’t imagine a better way to celebrate moving in together, love.” She couldn’t help the blush that still warmed her cheeks at the nickname, or from the pure adoration in his hazel eyes when he looked down at her.
“None at all?” She replied, her eyes twinkling as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. His laugh echoed through the kitchen as they swayed from side to side, slowly turning in a circle with the music.
“Godric, I knew there was a reason I loved you.” They laughed together, setting their first true memory in their new house in concrete.
Y/N rested her head on James’ shoulder as his grip tightened around her, both too tired to be dancing but neither willing to let the moment, or each other, go. They stayed that way, now barely moving to the soft tunes surrounding them, just soaking in the comfort of the embrace, and the safety of James’ heart beating lightly against Y/N’s cheek, a reassurance that he was with her, always.
Eventually, a yawn got the better of her, and although she tried to hide it in James’ chest, her ever-so-doting boyfriend caught it immediately, and chuckled at her weak attempt to hide her tiredness.
“C’mon love, lets have a cuppa.” He dropped his hands from around her, but still laced their fingers together as he pulled her over to the kitchen counter, where the water began boiling with a wave of a wand.
A few minutes later they found themselves curled up on the sofa, tea in hand, Y/N’s legs draped over James’ lap as his hand traced small circles on her thigh. The record was still playing in the kitchen, and although they had definitely made progress in their unpacking that day, they both looked around the room with a sense of apprehension at what they still had to do. Unpacking for their old Hogwarts dorms was one thing, a house was something else entirely.
“Still think we’ll be done in time for our dinner party next week?” James’ voice broke their peaceful silence, and Y/N’s eyebrows crinkled at the question.
“I think it took Sirius enough convincing to give us a week to make the place look perfect, we can’t delay him any longer.” She laughed, careful not to spill her tea as it splashed around in the mug at her movement. “Besides, it’ll be the first time we’ve all gotten together since Hogwarts, I’ve missed them all.”
“Haven’t you seen them all?” James asked her, puzzled. She rolled her eyes with a sigh, but he knew from the way she was smiling that she was only teasing him.
“Yes, but not all together. Think of it as the start of a tradition, us, Lils and Marlene, Sirius and Remus. We’ll be having these parties for years to come, and we can all take in turns who hosts. Traditions are a perfect excuse to never lose contact with old friends.”
“Y/N, do you really think we’ll ever be allowed to lose contact with them? They would still be pestering us in our graves.” James laughed, and she couldn’t help but laugh with him.
“I think you would die if you lost your Padfoot, your souls are probably tethered together or something.” She snorted, draining the rest of her tea and setting her mug besides James’ already empty one. “Just let me have the excuse, okay?”
“Happy to oblige. Plus, if it means I get to see you in that red dress again…” His eyes gleamed in a different way as he pressed a soft kiss to her collarbone and she giggled, pushing his face away half-heartedly, the skin where he had touched her already feeling cold at his absence.
“Get your mind out of the gutter, James Potter.”
“How am I not supposed to admire you when you look like a goddess come from the heavens.” He protested, resting his hand back on her thigh. He noticed her shiver slightly as a breeze ran through the room and frowned, their previous conversation gone in a flash as concern took over. “Are you cold?”
“Aren’t you?” she said, noting how he was also in a t-shirt.
“I was actually just thinking it was still fairly warm.” He grabbed his wand and waved, conjuring up a blanket which he draped over the two of them. Now it was her turn to frown at him, confused at his actions.
“I can have the blanket to myself, you’re already warm I don’t want you to get uncomfortable.” She reassured him, beginning to tug the blanket away from him, gasping slightly as he fiercely protected it, shaking his head and bringing it back over himself.
“Absolutely not.” He started, shaking his head dramatically. “That won’t do, if we’re both not under the blanket then how are we supposed to snuggle? Nope, you’re cold, so under the blanket we go.” He pulled her closer to him as if to illustrate his point.
“You are quite possibly the most considerate person I’ve ever met, you know.”
He looked down at her as she spoke, feeling love pour through his heart, knowing that he would do absolutely anything at the drop of a hat if she asked him to, simply to know that he had made her smile. He sufficed with an “anything to make you happy, love,” knowing that she would understand all the sentiments running through his brain.
“I love you, more than you can ever know.” Her voice was muffled from how she had pressed her face into his chest, but he still heard the words loud and clear. He always did.
“It’s all about you. Every single thing I do, is because I love you, Y/N Y/L/N, and I promise that’ll never change.” With a soft kiss to her head, they stayed wrapped up on the sofa, under the blanket, listening to the rhythms of their hearts and breathing, until they had fallen asleep. Together, as they would always be.
make up lies and say goodbyes and meet me at the door // J.P. (celebration fic)
Request: James, secret relationship, angst 13, fluff 8. The burrow? Idk u can pick. But please let it have a happy ending 🥺. I’m fragile 😂 - @leahstypewriter
Angst 13: “All I wanted was a happy ending.”
Fluff 8: “Marry me?”
A/N: Title is from Emily Kinney - Married (I also use a lyric in this). I think I need to google the definition of ‘blurb’ because I keep writing fics and they just get longer and longer! This is my first time writing for James with anything longer than a headcanon so I’m not wholly confident on this piece - however, I hope you enjoy!
Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader
Warnings: none - FLUFF, FLUFF, FLUFF.
Word count: 1.8k
Spring time at the Burrow is a sight that one cannot experience simply on their first visit. It takes a few visits to the home of the Weasley family for it to truly settle in that the home is a home. The christening of the entire Weasley brood was something to witness that once could only witness once; Molly Weasley controlling her children with an expert hand as they all lined up in the church. It was a lovely ceremony to see.
James sat by your side through it all; so close you could feel the warmth radiating from his body. All through the service, you had to restrain yourself from straddling the man in a place of worship. It wouldn’t be good for the vicar, and it wouldn’t good for the fact that you hadn’t gone public yet.
Returning to the Burrow, a marquee had been put up for party-goers. Following the rest of the guests, you find the long dark hair marking Sirius, and make a note of which table he sits down at. You make your way to the buffet table; grabbing a plate and whatever food you can. You only feel more ravenous at the sight of it; barely having time this morning to eat as with each attempt to leave the bed, James only pulled you back down.
You don’t have to see James to know that it’s him standing next to you. The charged atmosphere between the two of you is what alerts you to his presence.
A slight brush of his fingers against yours as he reaches for a plate of food. A slight brush of his fingers and it’s enough for you to crave all of his attention. He quirks his eyebrow at your obvious intake of breath; he knows what he does to you and he enjoys winding you up the best he can.
You take a seat next to Sirius; ignoring the way James sends a pointed look in your direction. Sirius immediately draws you into conversation with him and Remus, laughing over the rim of his drink. Sirius takes it upon himself to point out the members of the Weasley family stemming from the House of Black – he points towards Arthur’s mother, Cedrella and introduces her as his great-aunt somewhere along the lines of three or four times removed. You snort at Sirius’ lack of accuracy to which he points out that for the last few years, he had been living with James until he got his own place.
Shaking your head, you turn away from Sirius, careful not to catch eyes with James for the fear of not being able to control yourself once again. Your eyes dance around the marquee; happy to have been invited to such an event – an added extra by Sirius who didn’t want to face the extended and disowned side of his family alone.
Your eyes continue to travel around the marquee; taking in the decorations lovingly made by the Weasley children as well as the children themselves. The five young boys seemed to be running amok – their laughter filling the air as they race each around the tent. You can’t help but smile at the sight; each boy looking so happy.
It wasn’t something you realised you yearned for. A family. But watching Molly chase after her children with the largest smile on her face; watching Arthur lift young George onto his shoulders, you realise that you yearned for it all.
The wedding, the house, the family. Everything. You longed for it all to be with James; you felt silly for wanting this so early in your relationship, but just by being in his very presence it was hard not to want to spend an eternity with him.
All day it had been hard to find a moment for yourselves even when the party had moved from the marquee to the house; wanting nothing more than to spend a few minutes alone with James, but each time you got close, you were pulled in another direction by a child or by one of Sirius’ relatives to meet another aunt or uncle.
It was draining.
Keeping your relationship secret was a mutual decision; especially in the early months – the relationship was barely three months old; you were still in the process of getting to know one another romantically and work out how well you clicked together. The long friendship beforehand definitely helped, but keeping James to yourself was something you needed to do.
The atmosphere in the house becomes stifling the more you think about your relationship. You stand from your seat, sending a small smile in James’ direction when he looks over to you with a puzzled expression on his face. Your smile does nothing to calm the concern he feels as he watches you walk out the door, wondering what caused this change.
The evening air is warm when you step outside to catch your breath. Sitting down on one of the many benches, you take in gulps of the fresh air.
“Love?” James’ voice sounds. He takes a tentative seat next to you on the bench, carefully placing his hand between the two of you – knowing he cannot reach out to take you in his arms but wanting you to know that he would if he could.
“I’ve never seen somewhere so beautiful,” You murmur absentmindedly; eyes pouring over the horizon of the slowly setting sun.
James hums in agreement, “It is lovely here.”
You don’t reply. You aren’t entirely sure what else to say to him; instead, you keep your focus on the horizon – the sun setting, the bright and sweet smelling flowers, the beginnings of a vegetable patch. It’s a little slice of heaven, you realise.
“Do you want to talk about earlier?” James prompts. Keeping your secret from everyone was not the endgame, but the both of you simply desired some time to yourselves – to learn each other, to get used to each other, to selfishly love each other before letting other people interfere.
“All I wanted was a happy ending, James. I’m finding hard to keep us a secret when I’m so desperate for a happy ending.”
He grips your hands with such ferocity you’re worried he’ll break the bones, “Then let’s have a happy ending.”
“What do you mean?”
“Marry me?”
The breath leaves your body in one huff, “What?”
“Marry me.”
“James, I can’t believe this is happening. It’s only been a few months.”
“And? I’m certain of this and I’m certain of you. Would you marry me and always be mine?”
You bite your lip; thinking of every outcome that could fall from your marrying James. There could be no denying your feelings for the man; they were something you had felt for over a year until he asked you out to dinner. The yearning you felt earlier was back; churning in your gut as begin to think of a future with James as your husband through sickness and health, till death do you part.
You smile widely at James, “Let’s make our excuses and go.”
“Why?”
“I want to marry you James Potter, and I want to marry you now.”
James’ eyes glisten with unshed tears at your words, and he rushes off to find the lads and the Weasley’s to thank them for the offer of staying, but you both really must rush off as you have an early start at work, and he has an early morning meeting that he cannot miss.
Sirius furrows his brows at James’ words but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he turns to you with nothing but curiosity burning in his gaze. You smile softly at the man who had become something akin to a brother through your time with the marauders; through your time with James.
“Do you want us to set up a floo?” Molly asks kindly, bouncing a half asleep Fred on her lap.
You shake your head, “We’ll apparate back, we don’t mind. It saves on powder then.”
Molly nods; smiling at the two of you.
You say your goodbyes to the rest of the Marauders; they comment that they’ll see you tomorrow. You hold out your hand to James; he takes it and in less than a second, you’ve left the Burrow.
---------
James runs down the steps of the town hall; puffing slightly from how many there are, “It’s closed. We have to come back tomorrow for a license.”
“I get that, but why do you look so sad?”
James laughs, tugging you to him, “I really wanted to marry you tonight.”
Your thumb rubs across his cheek, “We still can, love.”
“How?”
“Well are the two of us present? We can do the official paperwork and aisle walking another day, but we can always say our vows to one another right now.”
“Right now?”
“Right now,” You confirm, “What do you think? Do you still want to marry me?”
“There’s nothing I want more.”
Underneath the now twinkling stars, vows are whispered, and make-do rings are created from some twine found in James’ pocket. Underneath the night sky, you pull him for your first kiss as husband and wife – the both of you making it difficult from the smiles on your faces.
It isn’t official – far from it. There are no witnesses; no minister. Only you, James, and the stars. But it’s perfect.
“When do we tell the lads? When do we tell our parents?”
“We’ll call them with our news in the morning, but for now…” You trail off with a sly smile.
“For now?”
“You’re all mine.”
-----
You wake up in James’ arms to the sound of crashing in your kitchen and the tell-tale swearing of Sirius Black. “James,” You groan, “Your friends are in the kitchen.”
James yawns, “I know. They woke me too.”
You sigh, opening your eyes, “Do we go down together?”
He nods, “Why not? They’re going to find out anyway.”
You stretch, “I like the sound of that.”
James smiles sleepily, “You know what I like the sound of?”
“What?”
“Kissing my wife good morning.”
You laugh; happily obliging the wish of your husband.
Yawning, you follow James downstairs where you meet Remus, Sirius and Peter clattering about in the kitchen, making a racket as they try to make some breakfast. They each call out their own greeting; their eyes not missing the way you came downstairs together.
“Where did you two rush off to last night?” Sirius asks; a smirk on his face.
“We got married,” James states clearly; leaving no room for any misunderstanding.
Remus chokes on his drink; Sirius drops his mug of tea; Peter silently moves the frying pan off the hob to save the food from burning.
“You did what?” Sirius all but yells.
James reaches for your hand, “We didn’t get married, married. But we will be doing today.”
Sirius remains speechless; eyes flitting between you, James and your joined hands, “When did you get together?”
You look at James, “Almost three months ago.”
“And you didn’t tell us then?”
You shrug, “We wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while.”
Remus nods, “ I get that, but getting married so soon? Are you sure?”
The both of you nod; only looking at each other, “We’re sure.”
Sirius claps his hands together, calling the room’s attention to him, “Then we better get ready.”
🍬 ooh, I will give you the words "sunshine" (it's probably my fav word) and "brown" with James Potter. Thank you💕
Sunset eyes - James x Reader
Sunset walks through the grounds had become a daily event for you and James. A time that was just your own, where everything melted away except the feeling of his hand clasping your own and the sound of his voice filling your ears.
You took great delight in hearing about his pranking ideas, and as you were listening to him passionately explaining the execution details of his next masterpiece you turned to watch how animated he became. His hands were gesturing wildly as he expressed himself, and his eyes- those brown eyes were so full of life, and the sunshine just amplified their gorgeous colour.
“What is it?” James stopped mid-setence when he realised you were staring. You blushed, turning your gaze back toward the forbidden forest.
“Ah it’s nothing, what were you saying?”
“Y/n, what is it? Is there something on my face?” You couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Only your beautiful eyes, I love seeing you so excited and passionate.” James grinned.
“Oh yeah? I think I know something else that’ll make me... excited and passionate.” And without hesitation he cupped your face in his hands and met your lips with his own, humming contentedly into your mouth.
-
Ok well I wasn’t expecting it to end like that but the drabble takes me where it takes me I guess 😅 thank you so much for the request, I hope you liked it! Feel free to check out my other drabbles or my writing challenge 💖💛
Synopsis: I was almost too late and almost lost the best thing that happened to me in my life because I was too stubobrn
Masterlist
I hurry down the hallways toward the Gryffindor common room, trying hard to get in fast enough to take a shower, put on a comfortable outfit, and go to the Quidditch game. It would be a classic: Gryffindor against Slytherin. And I, as a good Gryffindor that I am, will forget my time studying, to go cheer for my house team. I would probably see James - woe to him if not - take the golden snitch, guaranteeing victory and, once again, dedicating it to me.
I find that quite annoying, yes, but it makes me feel good. Every pick up line, every smile, every nickname, every adverb of possession, every request to go on a date with me, I felt good, I felt honoured, my heart tight and a butterfly festival in my stomach. And I tried, at all costs, to suppress it for myself, but it seemed impossible. After all, I can't like Potter. As much as it has changed over the years, it's still the same womaniser that uses the girls and then dismisses them. And I don't wanna be just one more on his list.
And that was when my day - well, my life - changed completely.
For I see him coming towards me, with a pained and tired look and without the usual mischievous glint in his eyes. I feel the urge to stop and comfort him, but for some reason I don't. Until he stops me.
“S/N” He calls me and I stop, feeling something recoil in my chest. He had never called me before by my last name.
“What is it, Potter?” I ask, feeling my tone coming out rougher than I intend to.
“I just want to give you this.” He says, handing me a piece of parchment. And then he's gone.
No pick up line. No smile. No nickname. No adverb of possession. No asking me on a date. There was something wrong with all this, for he hadn’t pursued me, and then I hadn’t shouted at him. I look intrigued at the letter addressed to me. I didn't know what to think, no one had ever sent me a letter. Since I don't know if I should read that in the middle of the corridor, with great chances of someone taking the letter, running out and reading too, then I simply look around, finding no sign of James, and finally going to Gryffindor Tower.
I walk past everyone, just looking at the letter in my hands, and go up to my dorm. I enter furiously there, wanting to read the letter as soon as possible, but there is always something that prevents it.
“What is that face? What's the matter this time?” Lily asks from his bed, lowering the book he was reading on his lap.
“Dear Lily,” Marlene begins, leaving the bathroom with a towel in her hands. ”You know very well that our friend's problem here has a name, a surname, a beautiful face and is Gryffindor’s seeker.”
I am tempted to talk back, but the letter felt heavy in my hand, and I increasingly need to read it as urgently as possible. Ignoring her completely, I throw my backpack anywhere near my dresser and sit on my bed.
“But that doesn't seem to be the problem at the time.” Says Lene, seeing how I sit and sitting next to me.
“What is it, Y/N, why that face?” Lily asks, sitting on my other side. Seeing that I stare at the letter in my hands, with my name written in crooked and clearly masculine handwriting, asks again. ”What is this?”
“A letter from James.” I answer
“Now he's James, huh?” Jokes Marlene.
“Not now, Lene,” I scold. ”He never sent me a letter before.”
Seeing that this never really happened, she says apologetically, “So this is serious.”
“Open it.” Insists Lily and so I do.
I find something I really didn't expect.
S/N,
Surely you must be finding it a bit odd that I don't start with the nicknames I usually use. But I think for the purpose of this letter there is no need for it. At first I hadn’t even considered the idea of actually handing you this letter, it was more like an outburst I needed since the third year. I wrote and rewrote that same letter at least six times last night and after much parchment and cursing by the marauders for letting the light on finally came out the one you're reading - and probably the girls are reading with you.
But that is beside the point. I'm sorry to be asking you to read this, but I really needed to say what I want. DON'T STOP READING! I'm sorry for all those years I've been insisting on a chance to go on a date with the most incredible witch Hogwarts has ever seen. I'm sorry for all those years I hit every boy that goes out with you. I'm sorry for all those years when I always pestered you, just asking for a chance. I'm sorry for all those years when I know you had to put up with your friends trying to convince you to go out with me. LILY AND MARLENE, THANK YOU, BUT IT SEEMS THAT IT DIDN'T WORK WELL.
Do you know why I apologize for all this and so much that I can't remember at three in the morning, S/N? Because I got tired and I'm giving up.
I got tired of feeling dizzy and my heart pounding every time I see you. Each time I get close enough to smell this cherry scent intoxicating my senses. I got tired of staring at your mouth every time you bite your lower lip when you're nervous. Or when you blush - and I know that right now your cheeks are extremely red as you read all this - and you start shuffling the hem of your shirt when you're embarrassed. I got tired of feeling enchanted by looking into those beautiful e/c eyes. I got tired of smiling like a fool every time we have a conversation where you don't yell at me, swear at me or hit me. I got tired of staring at the ceiling at night, just thinking about you and wondering if I could ever call you mine. I'm tired of having the green monster of jealousy fidgeting inside me every time you go out with someone. I'm tired of feeling my heart clench with so much force every time you deny me - I may not let it show, but it hurts me a lot. Especially tired of crying at night when I know the guys are sleeping, knowing that you probably hate me with all your might and will never give me a chance.
I can try to say it was a waste of time and all, but I'd be lying not only to you - and Lils and Lene - but to myself. It was the best years of my life. You changed me. I don't go out with five girls a week anymore, I stopped hexing the Slytherins and first years. But I will leave you alone and try to forget that one day I fell in love with you. Yes, S/N, I love you. And that was the most absolute truth I have ever admitted to myself or anyone else - and I still don't understand how you don't believe me when I scream it in the open. Just know that I never said these three words to any other girl. If there's one thing my father really taught me is that I should just say that the only girl to whom my heart belongs. And it if there’s something I’m sure in my life is that I love you.
And that is why I will leave you alone. If I love her, I have to set her free, I can't make you go out with me or like me. So that's it: I give up; and I will do my best to get that feelings out of me, even if it won't be easy at all.
No goodbyes,
Potter
“Y/N, are you ok?” Marlene asks as we finish reading the letter together and I drop the parchment at my feet.
“He loves me.” I say, feeling a big knot form in my throat.
“Are you okay?” Lily repeats Lene's question, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
“I don’t know.” I say with a raspy voice.
“Do you want to cry?” Marlene asks.
“I don’t know.” I say even more tearfully, feeling the tears cloud my vision.
“You will cry.” States Lily.
“I know.” I confirm, lying my head on her shoulder and feeling thick tears streaming down my face.
“What will you do now?”
And this is when I decide and this is when I have the discussion with myself. I lifted my head from Lily's shoulder and dried my tears. “I’m gonna do what I should have done a long time ago.”
“What would it be...?” Lily asks curiously.
“I think it's time to say yes to James, even if he doesn't accept it.”
~ * ~
The Quidditch game is almost over and I still try to decide if it's the right thing to do. The game was almost over and I was trying to gather the courage to do that. James glanced back and forth for the golden snitch, but the times he glanced at the Gryffindor bleachers, I knew he was confused that I wasn't there. He knew that I would never lose a Gryffindor game, especially against the worms - an affectionate nickname given to me, which quickly spread among the lions. I would never lose a game, and he knew that probably - certainly - his letter had a lot more impact on me than he thought.
But I wasn’t losing the game. I had a privileged view, where I hid near the tents leading to the locker room, where no one could see me. Actually, I didn't know it with the red eyes I could appear in front of everyone, especially him, but that doesn't make a difference after all. Surely I couldn't look at him during the three hours of the game when he finally catches the snitch, getting a 300 to 210 victory. This time he doesn't dedicate it to anyone.
Everyone shouts and cheers and James quickly gets off the broom, clearly downcast, even though his team mates insist on carrying him on their shoulders. He denies it and comes slowly and with his head down toward the locker room. It's my only chance, and I step out of my hiding place, feeling all Hogwarts stare at me as I make my way over to the dark haired boy. He looks at me confused and I smile at him.
“What...?” He tries to speak, but I quickly interrupt him with a kiss. He looks confused at first, but then gladly kisses me back, wrapping me around my waist and deepening the kiss.
I never thought I'd feel anything this good. Sure, I've gone out with other guys, but I deeply regret never having tasted those lips before that had always been a temptation to me. I push my fingers into his hair, realizing that as shaggy as they are, they are extremely soft and silky. He pulls me around the waist closer to him, making my knees go weak and getting yelling, clapping and whistling from everyone - I say EVERYONE - around us. But we didn't care, because that's what we really wanted for years and if I waited a second longer I would lose it forever. Unfortunately, there is a gas we need to breathe called oxygen and I curse it right now for forcing us to move away.
“Let's get out of here.” I say, smiling, and give him a peck before finally opening my eyes and finding two greenish-brown orbs looking at me with a unique glow that I'd missed when he handed me the letter.
“Only if it's now.” He says, riding his broom again and helping me to ride it. I feel my body turning slightly and I hold tightly to his waist, feeling an electric shock pass from his body to mine. “Hold on, love.”
Hearing the word love come out of his mouth, I feel immense relief filling my being; and I know I may be forgiven. He takes off and we fly off the field, still listening to the noise behind us. When I find ourselves far from the noise, we're already landing near Black Lake and James helps me down.
“Can you tell me what that was?” He asks, clearly trying to hide the smile.
“I read your letter.” He arches an eyebrow, urging me to continue. “And since I don't know how to express myself in such a new feeling to me, I want to give it to you.”
And then I handed him a torn piece of parchment, with a simple sentence: PS I S2 YOU .
He reads and opens my favourite smile, the one I know is mine alone. “After years... After I gave up ...” He says, but I interrupt.
“I know and I'm sorry.You can't just enjoy it, can you?”
“No.” He says so confidently that it feels like a stab in the chest and when I threaten to turn back to the castle, he pulls me by the wrist, touches my cheek with his fingers and kisses me passionately, causing me the same numbing sensations. When air is needed - damn it! - we parted and smiled. “No, that's just not what I want. Y/N, do you want to go on a date with me?”
I look at him incredulously, but I know the answer I must give, even if it's not just a yes. It's at least the one he deserves. “Like I've never wanted anything before.”
“Too bad I still don't have a ring to put on your finger and show the world you're mine. But your statement took me by surprise, so I'll have to postpone the moment.” He says and I laugh as he kisses my lips once more and, holding me by the waist, spins me in the air.
Previously, I'd think he said it as a trophy to me, but after reading the letter that I kept in the back of my trunk forever to be rereading - it's the one that changed our lives - I know I’m much more valuable to him than that. For what we have is a true and deep feeling that has completely changed us.
“I love you, James Potter.” I say finally and feel his lips forming a smile over mine.
