THE HABIT YOU COULD NEVER BREAK.
-zyf.
synopsis: after being forced to spend a long night with your ex boyfriend james when your both of your mothers plan to go on a short holiday together, you find out that he is willing to do anything to get you back, after he found out you believed that he cheated on you.
content: exes to lovers, reader lowkey kinda hates james at some point, james is really persistent, implied sex (im really bad at writing smut so i just left it out 😭), suggestive language
you gave a soft, yet frustrated knock on the door, tapping your foot impatiently on the ground below you, dreading the night that was about to take place.
the night your mom had been planning for a few weeks now that you were absolutely not looking forward to. the night where your mother and james’ mother were taking off on an overnight stay at a luxury mansion that they were personally invited to in order to “take a break” from their normal lifestyle. which, honestly wouldn’t bother you on the average day, but what you found irritating was as to why your mother had suggested that you to spend the night at your ex boyfriends’ house, james to “keep you safe”, which you not only was perfectly capable of doing by yourself, but you knew was a bold-faced lie. deep down, you knew it was just for his mother and your mother’s sake, to try and get you and him to get used to eachother after the break up.
and to your surprise, his mother insisted. his mother had always been surprisingly nice towards you, despite the slight awkwardness you had towards his son. you wondered how an innocent, sweet, straightforward woman like herself was cursed with having to be permanently stuck with someone as confusing and disingenuous as james.
after what felt like forever, the door opened, james’ mother immediately reaching out to give your mother a warm, embracing hug. you stood a few steps behind annoyingly, not really wanting to interact with james at all.
once they had finished hugging, you trudged forward, making your face now visible to james’ mother, who smiled upon seeing your face again.
“y/n!!”, she yelled, ecstatic, way more happy to see you than her son was who was looming awkwardly in the corner. “how are you honey?”
“im amazing”, she pulled you into a hug squeezing you tight like she never wanted you to let go.
after pulling away, you didn’t even bother to look at james who seemed like he was about to make an effort to actually talk to you for once, as his mother ushered you and your mother inside.
she had led you guys into the living room, where your mothers motioned for you and james to sit down on the big couch. you and him sat down, so seperated to the point where you could fit at least four people between you and him.
“some ground rules”, james’ mother spoke. “no fighting, be in bed by one at the latest, and finally, y/n, try to feel at home. and if my son does anything to bother you, i’m just one phone call away.”
james scoffed, rolling his eyes before his mom motioned him to stop. you exchanged glances with her, her flashing a smile at you, which have you some sense of reassurance, in which you returned the smile back.
“hopefully you two will be mature enough to tolerate eachother just for one night”, your mom spoke.
you nodded, forcing a smile through your teeth as you looked over at james, who was already looking towards you uncomfortably.
and with no further words, which was surprising to you, they made their way to the doorway, in which you and james followed to say your final goodbyes. sweet hugs and goodbyes were exchanged, as you gave james’ mother one final wave when they exitted his house.
“be safe!!, and please don’t argue, for our sake!” your mother yelled, as she made her way onto the street.
the door slammed with a huge thud, perfectly mirroring the thick tension between you and james right now. you walked past him unbothered for the second time this night, brushing past his shoulder without looking back, making your way back to the living room.
————————————————————————
it had only been a few minutes since you and james had been left alone and you already felt like you wanted the ground to swallow you whole. since your parents left you and him had been using your phones to avoid all contact with eachother, which was honestly doing more harm than good, especially in the sense that you and him couldnt just avoid eachother all night.
“are you hungry?”
“nope. ate just before i left actually.”
“oh. well, do you want me to turn on the tv?”
“nope”.
he sighed, clearly frustrated and sank down deeper into the chair, knowing it would be hard to get through to you.
“well, do you want to do anything?”, he continued, a deep desperation in his voice.
“james”, you cut him off abruptly. “please, just leave it”.
he rolled his eyes back, turning on the tv anyway despite your denial. your muscles stiffened up, balls forming slowly into little fists as annoyance started to simmer within you.
“turn it off, please”, you argued.
“finally, she speaks”, james replied, a sigh of relief finally escaping his lungs.
“i’ve been speaking to you this entire night, but clearly you haven’t been listening that well enough to realise”, you bit back.
“barely. you wont even look at me.”
“why do you care?”, you asked him. “we broke up, remember?, finally looking into his eyes.
he started at you for a second, his eyes locked onto yours, and slowly moved down to your lips. no answer.
you scoffed and rammed your phone into your jean pocket. “typical”. im using the bathroom”, you told him, before storming off upstairs quickly, desperate to get away from him.
————————————————————————
you faced the bathroom mirror, inhaling the warm fresh air from the open window outside. your mind loomed on the awkward encounter between you and james a few moments before, trying your best to figure out where it all had went wrong.
the relationship between you two had not always been so hostile. at one point, you and him were inseperable. you two were childhood friends, basically attached to the hip; which soon developed into boyfriend and girlfriend as you and him got older. those were the best two years ever. your parents were your biggest supporters, had always rooted for you and wanted you guys to be a thing practically since birth.
but at the time of the breakup, things came crashing down. you had seen another girl kissing him, in which you immediately ended things with him. on that day, he had tried so hard to convince you it was just a mistake. bombarding your phone with messages, and trying to get to your house. he’d throw rocks at your window, standing awkwardly with gifts in the front porch, which you declined, and often send you long paragraphs that you were too upset to reply to. your mom tried to get you to give him a chance after a few days, in which she stated how sweet it was that he was trying to win you back. and it was; but she didn’t get it.
he would show up unannounced when your parents weren’t home, with love letters and expensive foods, looking like a complete wreck. and he was quite persistent with these offers.
you knew, deep down that he would never cheat, but you distanced yourself away from him for your own good, and over time, that pent up frustration and anger built up until it couldn’t anymore. and that is what made this night the strangest of all. it was the first time you and him had interacted post breakup, and you were honestly interested to hear what he had to say for himself this night.
but it had barely even been an hour into the evening, and you had already started to become irritated by his presence. you seriously contemplated staying in the bathroom the whole night, just to avoid him. it was crazy how things changed really. a few months ago, you would have been dying to spend some free time with james at his house without any prying eyes, having him all to yourself; but now, being in the same proximity as him for even at least five minutes felt strange, especially as you weren’t really giving him a chance to fix things and blew him off at every moment.
you wish that you could do something as petty as ignore him for the whole night, but you knew temptation would get the best of you, or either that, james would come looking for you. and you honestly couldn’t tell whether you wanted that or not. however, eventually you would get tired, and in need of actual rest, and food. and you weren’t willing to starve just because you couldn’t be around your ex.
and you basically avoiding him for the whole night was letting him win, and you felt like it was fair to give him a chance.
you rubbed your eyes, and grabbed for the door, closing it shut behind you. you made your way down the staircase slowly, bracing yourself, trying to keep things together as much as you could.
you stumbled backwards slightly, taken aback at the unusual visage that you saw before you.
james was waiting. for you. outside his bathroom.
he rested his head against the corridor wall, staring at you silently, his eyes tracking your every uncomfortable movement as the silence between you boiled.
you avoided eye contact, slowly trying to press past him, as he purposefully walked into you, not letting you past, matching your movements as you tried to switch from side to side, trying your best to wriggle through his large wide body.
“are you ever going to look at me?” he asked, his voice low and raspy.
you didnt respond. you stared at the wall next to you, refusing to look him in the eye.
“y/n”. he softly grabbed your chin, pulling your face to look at his, the familiar touch causing a tingle to run down your spine, which caused you to push his hand off of your face out of fear.
you clamoured past him rapidly, trying to make your way downstairs but you couldn’t make it that far as he grabbed onto your wrist, pulled you back and lifted you up into the air with his hands around your waist and pinned you against the wall forcefully, trapping your arms above your head, leaving you with no room to exit as his large frame practically swallowed you whole. he noticed you were avoiding eye contact again, so he forcefully lifted your chin up, making you glare into his eyes.
“get off of me james”.
“no, not until you talk to me. i miss you so much baby”, the nickname baby making your chest stiffen.
“you’re an asshole, james”.
“for what?”
“you know what. this. this whole “operation get back together with me. you planning a small getaway between both our moms in order to win me back, a pretty low move to me.”
“ you seriously think that i planned this?”
“clearly. you obviously feel guilty for what happened and want to get back into my good books.”
“what i did? y/n, you seriously think i would cheat on you? that girl came onto me and i pushed her away the moment she kissed me. and you didn’t even give me a chance to explain y/n. you blew me off.”
“because i was sad, and i didnt know what to believe”, you argued back, finally letting your feelings burst out after having to hide them for so long.
“the apology letters y/n, they were all for you. i tried my best to make sure that i could clear up things so that you wouldn’t hate me. i went all the way to your house, walked over there every single day thinking of what to say to you, trying my best not to screw it up. the flowers, the expensive gifts, your favourite foods that i got shipped to your house. all for you. every single one. it was always you, y/n, nobody else. and i get that you hate me, and you think im the biggest dick in the world, i just hoped that everything would have meabt something to you.”
you let out a rough sigh, somewhat unmoved with his answer.
“enough”. you rolled your eyes, trying to get away from him.
he grabbed your face again, engulfing your face within his palms and switching his gaze between your eyes and your lips.
“look y/n, even if i did plan this, i did it so i can prove that i love you. prove that you’re the only girl that will ever be in my heart. give me a chance, baby. im sorry.”
“you think that you can just come here, give a lousy apology and somehow i’d take you back? please, stop”.
“im not forcing you to forgive me y/n, i just wanted you to hear it. from myself.”
“just go away james. i hate you”.
“you don’t mean that.
“yes i do”.
“no you don’t. you’ve never had it as good as me. you can pretend you're over me, but i know you remember how good i made you feel. and if there’s one thing that’s for certain, i’m definitely sure that how good your body still remembers exactly how good I made you feel. how you used to sound when i finally pushed you over the edge.” your face dropped, a confident smile forming through his lips, knowing that he had just gone so far to the point where you didn’t even have anything to say to defend yourself. his hand started looming over your jean button, stroking your lower belly. the nerves down there started to tense up, your thighs involuntarily clenching together, which james noticed. your breath hitched, looking down towards your lower half, then looking back up to find james smirking at you, his annoying grin making you want him to finally eat his words after all the cockiness he has given you this night.
“dont flatter yourself”, you replied, putting on a calm and collected front to mask the embarrassment and arousal that still lay within you.
he chuckled lightly, his hand still on your jeans, slowly lowering towards your zipper. “im not flattering myself. you’re just a bad liar. and your body clearly misses me just as much as you do, which is why you still haven’t pushed me away.”
“you’re disgusting”, pushing his hand off you.
“disgusting, but not wrong”, he leaned over, your breath brushing your ear. “never wrong.”
“you are wrong. completely wrong.” you told him, anger coursing through your veins, trying your best to push back every single feeling you had ever felt towards him.
“really, then tell me how you really feel about me. tell me that the past two years meant nothing. tell me you dont want to see me anymore. and ill back away, right now, walk downstairs, and respectfully leave you alone for the rest of the night, and never bother you again.”
you opened your mouth to reply back, but the words died in your throat. you just stared at his lips, your chest rising and falling rapidly whilst nothing comes out. there was nothing else you could do to argue, because you knew he was right deep down. you couldn’t say it; you could nevee tell him you didn’t love him anymore, because you did. you always did.
no answer. he glanced at you again, his tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip as he rejoiced inside, knowing that you had basically just admitted defeat.
he leaned forward, placing a small kiss on your lips to test the waters, pulling back just enough to read the conflict written across your face. he went back in again, placing another kiss on your lips, but a more hard and aggressive one this time. his hands crept under your shirt, feeling the skin, as you released a soft gasp, as you melted slowly into his touch, finally breaking down for him. you kissed him back slowly, your mouths moving in sync against eachothers, your heart pounding as you placed your hands plush against his chest. using this as a signal, james deepened the kiss, his arms tangling into your hair, pulling roughly at the strands a few times, before breaking the kiss, tucking the locks of stray hair behind your ears, switching his direction to your neck, leaving hickeys in every single spot, trapping you against the wall with his hands resting against either side. your legs turned into jello, each kiss on the neck leaving you more sensitive than the last, as you latched onto his shoulders, clasping them tightly for support so that you wouldnt fall down.
without warning, james turned to face you again, wrapping your legs around his waist, and carrying you up to what seemed to be like his bedroom, turning his light on and closing the door. he softly laid you out onto the bed, yet again kissing you, but nothing like the way he’s ever kissed you before. the kiss was punishing, deep, like he wanted to prove something to you. you had never encountered this flamboyant, cocky side of james often, but you were loving it. he took of your shirt undid your jeans, discarding them on the ground, leaving you in just your underwear.
“do you trust me baby?” his doe eyes burning deeply into yours as his body lay over you, dominant and intimidating.
you nodded, biting your lip hard, in an attempt to shoo away the butterflies that were erupting in your stomach.
he took off his shirt, revealing his toned body and abs, which you had hated that you missed seeing so much, his thick bulge becoming more prominent through his pants as you looked down, you gulped, as he caught you staring, taking this as a signal to take off your underwear, leaving you just in your bra.
“god, how i missed this pussy”. you felt the cold air, trying to close your legs as james forced them open spreading them apart, leaving wet kisses up your thigh, the placements of his kisses inching closer and closer to your core.
everything after this became a blur of tangled limbs, loud moans and deep thrusts as your head sunk further into the pillow, arousal pooling through you as james made you see stars.
and lets just say, after that long night, you had made the good decision to give james another chance.
