Hiya. I don't trust people. Now it's not just "hey I don't trust you." But I think people are going to kill me. Like my grandparents were driving me somewhere and we were going a different way and I had never been that way before and I started planning on how to escape if they tried to kill me or something. Same with everyone I know. I hate it and I don't know what's wrong with me. Because I know that's not what's gonna happen but j always think it will. -Janalee
I'm sorry you're struggling with these thoughts right now, they aren't fun to be having and I know how distressing they are.
Have you told anyone about what you've been thinking? I think that it is really important for you to reach out and tell someone what you're experiencing because you don't deserve to be struggling with these thoughts at all. I think that you should reach out to a family member or a friend and explain what you're going through. I know that this is hard but I promise that good things will come from sharing these thoughts. Keeping them inside your head is letting them go round and round and getting worse and more frightening. Whereas if you share them it is allowing them to escape and will relieve some of the feelings that you're going through.
Even though you know it isn't going to happen it is still scary and it is allowed to be upsetting and hard to deal with. But you aren't alone lovely. There was people to support you and help you. Talking to someone in your life is the first step to getting professional help and this will allow you to work towards overcoming these thoughts and dealing with them.
I hope that this helps, I'm always here for you to talk to!
Lots of love and cuddles,